Women, how to get rid of the shackles of the original family?

They have the ability to be independent, they have a certain future, and let the original family know that their relatives are free.

First of all, you must make yourself strong enough, and at the same time, you must make yourself financially independent, so that you can get rid of the original family shackles well, and you can also improve your quality of life.

The mentality must be correct, when doing things, we must think about the good, and contact and discuss some things with people outside to make our mood suddenly brighter and become a talkative person.

The original family has always been a pain for many people, and there are always a lot of problems in life that cause their current life to become unfortunate because of various problems in the original family. And under the influence of such serious gender discrimination in ancient times, many women's original families are not good. If this kind of unhappiness is not well resolved, then this kind of misfortune from the original family may accompany them for a lifetime.

There is only one way for a girl whose original family is not good.

1. Achieve economic independence as soon as possible.

In many families, especially in many Chinese families, the reason why a woman is particularly prone to having a bad family of origin is largely because her parents are deeply influenced by patriarchal thinking. Under the idea of preference for sons, parents will generally believe that raising a son can support themselves in the future, but raising a daughter is equivalent to raising a child for someone else's family, and she will marry when she grows up. A married daughter is like water that has been spilled, and she will not come back.

Therefore, when their children are girls, it is difficult for parents to be partial to boys, and they are reluctant to spend money on their daughters. Therefore, women must achieve financial independence as soon as possible, so that they can speak more and more confidently, and they will not always look at the face of their family, nor will they live so humbly.

2. Break ties with family members as soon as possible.

3. Marry early.

A woman with problems in her original family is nothing more than a patriarchal family who wants to find ways to squeeze and exploit her, or because she was wronged, she vents her dissatisfaction and unhappiness on her. Therefore, for women, if it is too difficult to get rid of the pain of this original family on their own, and their own strength is too insignificant, they can choose to let their future husband help them free themselves. Marrying as early as possible and forming your own family as soon as possible can get rid of the pain brought to you by your original family to a certain extent.

The first step is financial freedom, which is the first step to getting rid of the family of origin; Secondly, you must study hard, read more, improve your mind, and see the world more, you will understand that in fact, the influence of the original family is not so great, and you can influence yourself because your heart is not strong enough.

You should work hard to improve yourself, know more knowledge, and enrich your experience. In this way, you can become more confident, have more abilities, and feel more secure.

Completely away from the family of origin can even cut ties with them and start a new life in a new city.

You can make more friends, and then see how others do it, and you can learn from them. Change yourself.

1. Re-understand yourself.

Wu Zhihong mentioned in the book "The Body Knows the Answer": "If parents like to deny their children, then when the child enters school, he will have the self-image of 'I am a loser', and his grades will be a mess in order to defend this self-image." This, in turn, becomes evidence in support of the self-image of 'I am a loser'.

Therefore, if you want to change a person's life, the key is not to make positive cues, but to reinvent self-image. ”

Then, what we need to do is to put aside the judgments of our parents, calm down and think seriously about who we are, what kind of person we want to be, and what kind of life we want to live.

2. Adjust your mentality and affirm your own value.

Every time we are in the original family, we find that many children who have experienced psychological trauma in childhood have great resentment towards their parents when they become adults. Some people will habitually act against their parents, some people want their parents to affirm their opinions and ideas, and some people simply stay away from their parents and want to escape from their parents.

However, in the topic of family of origin, we first need to realize that in this world, we can never really change others, and all we can do is adjust our own mentality and coping style.

In fact, if you really believe in yourself and can really see your own value, then you will no longer deliberately force your parents' approval and will no longer care so much about what your parents think.

3. Increase the amount of exercise and release the inner depression.

Sometimes because of the family of origin, you are so depressed that you can't breathe, so exercise is the best medicine to heal.

When sweat evaporates the salt in the body, the inner depression also disappears.

4. Vent your emotions reasonably.

Susan Foward says in The Family of Origin, "Everyone has a need to repeat familiar patterns of emotion, no matter how painful or hurtful they may be." ”

Since blindly suppressing our anger will only lead to greater anger, we must also release our emotions reasonably and vent our emotions reasonably.

You can confide in your relatives and friends and let them be your own "emotional trash can".

5. Learn to empathize.

When you are too worried about your original family, try to adjust your mentality, divert your attention, and find other things that can improve you, so that you can live a full and happy life every day.

Learn to empathize and be your warmest companion!

Study hard and work hard to enrich yourself. Keep improving.

Take a good box of snow, get a good job, stay away from your family, or change your family.

Hope it helps.

I think if you're grown up now, then try to make yourself stronger, and you have to believe that when a person becomes stronger, the world will be much gentler for him. You have to make yourself strong, you have to be strong, and when you become strong, you won't care what other people think.

Breaking free from the shackles of the family of origin is an individualized process, and everyone's situation and experience are different. Here are some tips to help you move forward on your journey from the constraints of your family of origin:

Self-awareness: Knowing and knowing oneself, including awareness of one's own values, beliefs, needs, and expectations. Through self-reflection and reflection, figure out which beliefs and behaviors are influenced by your family of origin and how they affect your current life and well-being.

Accept the past and let it go: Accept the existence and experiences of your family of origin and try to let go of past hurts and unhealthy patterns. This may take time and inner work, and you can seek the help of a counselor or ** teacher.

Redefine yourself: Redefine your former identity and life direction according to your own values and goals. Don't be bound by the expectations and role definitions of your family of origin, and actively seek out your interests, goals, and values.

Build a support network: Find people who are supportive and understanding, and build a healthy and supportive social network. Share your experiences and feelings with them and get their support and advice. These people can be friends, intimate partners, counselors, or members of support groups.

Learn healthy coping and communication skills: Learn healthy ways to cope with stress and conflict, and improve your communication and problem-solving skills. This helps to build healthier and respectful relationships and reduces the impact of the family of origin model.

Seek professional help: If you feel that you cannot cope with the constraints of your family of origin on your own, it is a good choice to seek professional help from a counselor or ** teacher. They can provide guidance, support, and tools to help you better deal with and address the impact of your family of origin.

Remember, breaking free from the shackles of your family of origin is a gradual process that requires patience and effort. Everyone's situation is different, so it's important to find the methods and steps that work for you. It is important to believe that you have the ability to develop independently, healthily, and in pursuit of the life you truly want.

Breaking off relatives does not fundamentally lead to the misfortune brought by the original family to the child, and I think I want to really solve the problem. You can start from the following aspects.

1. Learn to love yourself early.

At all times, put yourself first. Because only by learning to love yourself can you better get rid of the shackles of your original family and let you better appreciate poetry and distance.

2. Learn to understand your parents.

Try to understand your parents as much as possible, understand the living environment of your parents' generation, understand that your parents are not highly educated, and try to understand your parents' ignorance more, because only by learning to understand can you make yourself better, otherwise you will only make your heart more crooked and more aggrieved.

3. Accept your own shortcomings.

Learn to accept your own shortcomings, people have shortcomings, shortcomings, only by learning to accept can we better correct and better examine ourselves.

I remember when I was a child, I helped the family with housework, and I often broke the bowl and the chopsticks often fell to the ground. When my parents saw it, they began to scold and say, it's really useless, you can't do this thing, what else can you do. I believe that many people will make mistakes like me, but we must know how to accept our own shortcomings and recognize our mistakes, so that we can better correct them.

4. Solve problems independently.

Try not to turn to your parents when you have a problem, as they may not be able to help you out and may also verbally abuse you. Try to develop your own problem-solving skills as much as possible. Or seek the help of friends, try to find a way to solve the problem on your own, and not rely on your parents to better get rid of the shackles of your original family.

5. Maintain financial independence.

Economic independence is the confidence of a person's life, and it is even more so in today's society, women must have a job of their own, have a income of their own, work hard to do a good job, and maintain financial independence.

In fact, when you are financially independent, you will have more courage to face the hardships of life, and you will not rely on your parents, and you will be more confident in front of your parents, and at the same time, you will be better able to get rid of the shackles of your original family!!

Do you have the shadow of your parents? Will this be a problem for you? Regarding this issue, I believe that the influence of the family of origin on the individual is huge, and many people will be affected by it when they grow up, thus showing varying degrees of twisting in marriage, career, and interpersonal relationships.

If we don't get rid of these shadows, it will be difficult for us to grow.

1. Parents living at the bottom will make children feel inferior in their hearts, think that their background is not bright, they are afraid of being despised by others, and they may also have feelings of inferiority and self-arrogance. These children tend to have a special focus on social equity, but the truth is that there is no such thing as perfect fairness in the world, and diversity is what we need.

2. Parents are powerful, and some children will be particularly dependent on their parents, thinking that everything can be solved by their parents. Some children become arrogant and do not take people seriously, while others feel inferior. These children tend to try to outperform their parents, but there is no need to compete with them.

3. Families with parents who are not in harmony or divorced will make children afraid of marriage, dare not take the initiative to approach the opposite sex, are not used to being close to the opposite sex, and consciously maintain etiquette and distance.

4. Parents are very affectionate, but children are like outsiders at home. Mothers are less conscientious and fathers love their wives more, which can make children feel left out. Such children are often very stubborn in their hearts, and they will be particularly touched when they keep their distance from the opposite sex or have concerns about the opposite sex.

5. Children whose parents often quarrel will be particularly sensitive, fragile, and insecure, and will shrink back from doing things, and care a lot about the opinions of others. These children often lack self-confidence and tend to expend energy on unimportant things.

6. Career-oriented parents are invisible, and they are not good at expressing love, gratitude and sweet words, which will lead to introversion and closure of children. This effect is even more pronounced if the child's parents are type A or certain zodiac signs.

7. Strong parents will cause their children to be indifferent on the surface, fanatical on the inside, easy to talk on the surface, but very stubborn on the inside. Strong parents can also bring problems such as lack of self-confidence and inner fragility to their children.

The family of origin does have a very important impact on a person's personality and values, because our parents are our first teachers, and as children, we have no ability to distinguish information, and almost all of our ideas and opinions come from our parents.

Due to the limitations of our parents' thinking, we are negatively affected by our parents, such as: patriarchy, verbal abuse, physical punishment, etc., which will carve such a brand in our subconscious: we are worthless, we must make some achievements, otherwise I will not get the love of my parents.

These subconscious imprints will invisibly affect our behavior in adulthood, and it can be said that these imprints are the limiting beliefs that are the main of our negative emotions.

As adults, we become more and more discerning, and after we know the influence of our family of origin, we can consciously change ourselves and get rid of the influence of negative emotions.

We can also learn to read and talk with excellent people to gain more knowledge to renew our outlook on life and values, and at the same time, we can empathize with our parents at that time, understand the situation and limitations of our parents at that time, and the motivations behind their behaviors.

If the influence of your family of origin is already ingrained and you can't rely on yourself to get out, the best thing to do is to see a psychologist in a relevant profession for psychological counseling and ask them for help. In this way, we can come out of the shadow of our original family more quickly and become a better version of ourselves.

Psychological counseling is the use of psychological theories and methods to help clients discover their own problems and their root causes, tap their own potential, change the original cognitive structure and behavior, and maintain mental health.

Finally, choosing a suitable psychological counselor is an important guarantee for the effectiveness of psychological counseling, so please choose carefully.