How to get rid of the influence of the family of origin, how to get rid of the influence of the fami

When you have self-denial in your heart, you have to think rationally, is that really the case? Find three reasons to convince yourself, and then re-establish the affirmation.

As long as you insist on being able to get rid of this family, the bad or its influence is possible. But at this time you have to stand your ground.

How to get rid of the influence of the original family, in fact, the most important thing to let the original family is to see how much it affects you, if the influence is deep, it is normal that you may need to get rid of it.

Many people's growth and personality will be influenced by the family of origin. It's up to you to change your mind.

Grow up as soon as possible and live your own way. Live your life on your own terms. Hope you're right. If it helps, thank you!

Make yourself independent With an independent economic foundation, everything will be easy, and being strong is the first step to doing.

The problem of the original family has caused many children to live unsatisfactory since they were young, and they want to grow up quickly and get out of such a family since they were young. Of course, some children may not be able to stand this kind of torture, and choose to run away from home and go out to work when they become adults, regardless of family affairs, or even cut off from the family.

I want to get rid of the influence of my family of origin.

The first thing to do is to learn to start believing in yourself.

When you want to go beyond the problems of the past, you may have some opinions on many issues, and you may even have a strong conflict with your family of origin. At this time, you still need to have an awareness and be determined to let yourself go on. It's a good idea to talk to them about it, and if the family thinks you've changed or how to make it clear to them, even if they may not accept you all at once, they will reflect on it.

Persist like this for a while, I believe that gradually your ego will become stronger and stronger, you may begin to have opinions, you will become different from the past, and then gradually get rid of the influence of your original family on you and start a new life of your own.

Learn to accept the limitations of things and stick to what can be changed.

There is something about our parents that we hate, so we are determined not to live like them. But as we grow up, we are becoming more and more like them. There is no need to be afraid, there is no need to despair, because we just see a part of us, that part of us that we don't like, and there are more parts of us that we like and can change.

Parents are unchangeable, but we can change ourselves, we can decide the life we want to live, including the support for our parents, in the process do not think about how to change our parents, but how to change ourselves, firm our bottom line and growth route, we can finally let our parents and ourselves live in a comfortable environment.

Learn to communicate openly.

If your parents hurt you or even abandoned you, you can't hold your bleeding wounds and say loudly, "I love you, I thank you", which is an abnormal emotional reaction. So, if you resist your parents, it's not your fault at all, and you don't have to force yourself to be close to them.

In this case, the best way to heal is to communicate openly with your parents, and confess the hurt and frustration you perceive directly to your parents, so that they know that you don't want to be filial to them, but you just have a sad pass in your heart and need time to transition.

Learn to say no to unreasonable demands.

Honoring one's parents is everyone's responsibility, but honoring one's parents does not mean being unprincipled in everything we do. When a parent's request is against their own principles, they can rightly refuse. Of course, there must be a way to refuse to refuse, which is another topic.

In fact, there is no 100 perfect family of origin, if the current predicament is attributed to the unhealth of the original family or the strength of the parents, and think that they have found the root of all problems, they can stop thinking about how to change the status quo and complain, which is sad.

In modern society, there are not a few people who are greatly negatively affected by the original family, such as frequently falling into a certain love pattern, every time they realize that the person is a "scum", they do not know how to maintain relationships with others, and inherit the bad habits of their parents, etc., so how do we break through the shackles of the original family model and get rid of the influence of the original family?

Acknowledging the past

The first step in getting rid of the influence of our family of origin is to acknowledge the past, to admit that we suffered misfortunes in our childhood, to admit that the family of origin has its own limitations, and to acknowledge our dissatisfaction with the family of origin. We must not always dwell on the tragic past, but should learn to face the past in order to help us return to the present and look to the future.

Learn to soothe yourself

Although our family of origin did not educate us in the right way, then we should take on the responsibility of taking care of and comforting ourselves. Treat ourselves the way our ideal parents treat us, be patient with ourselves in the trivial matters of life, cheer for our progress, and cheer for our mistakes.

Reinvent attachment relationships

In a less than ideal family of origin, we are unable to establish a comfortable and harmonious attachment relationship with our parents. As adults, we can reshape our attachment relationships by developing a love, friendship, or professional relationship with a counselor.

Redefine your family of origin

Since we have had a dark past, we can no longer bet on our children, and learning to define our original family in the right way is a perfect end to our past.

By leaving home to study, immigrating, and working in their hometowns, they can control the physical distance between themselves and their parents, so as to control the psychological distance from their original families.

By earning financial independence, the opportunity to be spiritually independent of the family of origin is gained.

To sum up, if you want to get rid of the influence of your original family, you must first accept your past, and then reshape your own thoughts, we can't ask others, but we can change ourselves. Hope it helps!

One: Quitting the original family and living your own life.

It is undeniable that the family of origin is important to a person, and without the family of origin there is no place for a person to come from.

1. But people always need to learn to walk independently, to establish a new family, to manage their own lives, to build a good original family for their children, which is the inevitable law of social development.

If the parents are still there, even if they reach the age of 60, they will always be the children of their parents, and when their parents are gone, they will no longer be children, at this time, they will withdraw from this role, return to their own small family, and do a good job as parents and husband and wife.

Second, when a person withdraws from the original family, he can truly experience the feeling of being a parent, so that he can better manage his own small family and live his own life.

In real life, some people put their siblings in front of their wives and children, but they are actually unwilling to withdraw from the role of the original family.

1. Such people often do not manage their lives well. thought that he had kept his real home, but he didn't know that he was only moved by himself, not only his brothers and sisters couldn't take care of him, but even his wife and children were very disappointed in him. This.

This kind of person seems to be very capable and able to take charge of himself, but in fact, he still has a great dependence on the original family, and is unwilling and resists to run his own life with an independent attitude. In a way, it's an act of escapism and irresponsibility to yourself.

2. A person who is not able to be fierce even if he is responsible for his own company, how can he manage his own life well, and a person who does not manage his own life well will not only be disliked by his brothers and sisters, but also his wife and children will not want to be affected.

Two: I have experienced the warmth and coldness of human feelings, and I am discouraged and not cherished, and I am grateful, but I am excessive.

In this world, there are interests in any relationship, and everyone has human weaknesses.

But some people ignore this, relying on blood ties to decide whether or not to trust a person.

1. Brothers and sisters should trust each other unconditionally and support each other because they are a family. As everyone knows, people will have selfish intentions, and brothers and sisters are no exception.

There is still a relationship of obligation and responsibility between you and your parents and children, which can play a certain role in restraining the selfish side of human nature, but the relationship between you and your siblings is completely affectionate, and there is no relationship of obligation and responsibility.

2. And affection is a thing, which is said to be based on feelings, but in fact, it is based on interests, whether it is self-interested. As the saying goes: "No one knows about the poor in the downtown area, but the rich have distant relatives in the mountains."

How did your social low self-esteem come from? Why are you afraid to talk to people?

Social fear stems from low self-esteem, which does not arise in a day or two, it seems to be deeply rooted in the bones。So how did the inferiority complex in the bones come about? A large part of the positive cong is resistant to the influence of the native family.

Parents are very controlling and think that the child is just his personal belongingsYou can feel free to vent your emotions to your child, I don't care about his feelings at all, I want to control the child's development, and let him do whatever he wants.

At this time, the child loses his autonomy, thinks that his parents are supreme, and must listen to his parents' opinions in everything he does, and only promises and does not dare to resist, can only try his best to please his parents, for fear of attracting abuse and accusations from his parents. Children who grow up in this environment are afraid of offending people, so they are afraid to interact with others and slowly become introverted.

One: Have a certain awareness

You have to have a conscious awakening, you have to think of you before the age of 18 as a process, and you are not the real you at that time. You are formed under the consciousness of your parents, because your body is a reflection of their words and deeds, and it is their genes. It doesn't matter if you have any dissatisfaction with you at the age of 18, because after the age of 18, you are an adult, and you cannot live in the shadow of your parents for the rest of your life.

Two: Independent, have the courage to leave

Either you will be independent, and if you are not satisfied, you will leave. Don't let your parents make you up, and don't feel any guilt about your family of origin. One of the biggest problems with contemporary parents is that they always feel that I have a strong sense of sacrifice, and you should do what I have done for you.

Since you are not satisfied with you at the age of 18, it means that many of your parents' concepts are wrong, which will create a state that you are not satisfied with, so you don't need to listen to all their words.

Three: reinvent and find a new environment

After leaving, you have to learn to grow independently, to find the environment you like, what you want to learn, the energy you want to absorb, slowly, peel off the old self, and replace it with a new self, instead of saying how bad my original Zheng Chaosheng family is, how bad my parents are, and then on the one hand, they are dependent on them, and they can't face this society independently, to reinvent themselves, <>

What you want is experience, if you blindly go smoothly, your experience of life, what you can learn, your perception is really not as good as fighting from scratch by yourselfSo the sooner you can train yourself and take the initiative to turn on this hard mode for yourself, that's also a good thing.

The original family must have an influence, and even many people say that the influence of the original family on people is a lifetimeThen I can only say that your own growth is not complete. In fact, the process of your continuous growth is the process of your continuous departure from home, regardless of how good or bad this home isIt is a kind of luck to be born in a perfect family, if it is not good, you realize it, then you must change it

The main meaning of the family of origin is that a person who struggles hard eventually finds that his bottleneck is because of family education. Parents' worldview, ability to control emotions, and education methods are determined by their genes and the environment in which they grew up.

1. Self-awareness.

Now that you know that the negative family of origin has a negative impact on your personality, you will naturally want to get rid of these negative influences, which requires you to give yourself a personality to praise the clan, and what kind of person you want to become, then go in that direction.

2. Learn from the people around you.

As the saying goes, where there is contrast, there is harm, and the fastest way to change oneself is to learn from Suina, and I slowly changed after playing with my neighbor, and the most important thing I learned from him is to be a loving person, preferably with love to the point of bubbling, which is very broad, but understandable.

3. Fall in love.

I would like to give special thanks to my girlfriend here, I remember that the university teacher said that people will fall in love, in fact, it is a manifestation of the lack of maternal love or father's love, so it will make up for it in another aspect, and friendship is not the only one, love is in line with one-to-one emotional input and output.

My girlfriend is very empathetic, she can feel my fear, we warm each other, and then I feel like I'm in a positive state right now.

Therefore, finding an object that warms you and can sense your emotions is especially useful for you to get rid of the negative influence of your original family, of course, this requires both fate and eyesight.

We have received a more advanced education, not to blame, if it is really strong, don't stand in the corner and complain, love them with what we have learned, there is no perfect way of education in this world, we should stop complaining, try to break through, it doesn't matter if you can't break through, hug yourself, accept the incomplete self.