Why can t women eat at the table?

According to the survey, the custom of women not eating at the table is likely to be a logical process at the beginning of its formation: because of the patriarchy in our China.

In society, cooking has been a woman's business for thousands of years, and while the man talks to the guests, the woman is busy cooking and serving; After the man has finished eating with the guests, the woman has to be busy washing the dishes. Over time, such a custom was formed. Still, when women don't go to the table becomes a fixed rule with the severity of taboos, it becomes an intolerable form of sexism.

<> behind this seemingly eye-catching custom is actually a remnant of the era of "male protagonist outside female protagonist". For thousands of years, except in a few rural areas in the south, women did not participate in social production and labor, men worked in the fields to grow crops, and women cooked and washed at home and took care of children.

This thousand-year-old system of division of labor has long been regarded as a matter of course, and some people have even found a physiological basis for it - because women have to breastfeed, they are only suitable for doing household chores, and not for going out to work at all.

The Theory of Cultural Lag in Sociology; Evidence is found here: although since the fifties of the last century, the vast number of rural women have begun to participate in social production and labor on a large scale, and although women have long participated in social interactions beyond the scope of the family, they still cannot show their heads in this small village in Hebei, they still cannot sit on an equal footing with men, and they still cannot eat at the table when guests come to the house. Although the model of equal rights for husband and wife has appeared in the <> of many rural couples

However, judging only from the traditional custom of accompanying guests to dinner and serving tables, the remnants of patriarchy still exist in our countryside, and they are presented in an indescribable sternness and domineering, as if to show off its authority that has lasted for thousands of years, and show us the glory of patriarchy.

The reason why there is such a custom is actually because in the previous society, men were inferior to women, and the status of women was very low, and they had to rely on their in-laws or husbands to live. How could a person without the slightest status be allowed to eat at the table, because in the eyes of ancient people, women were used to serve their husbands and raise children, and they had no status at all. Cooking is what they should do, but eating at the table shouldn't be what they do.

In fact, to put it bluntly, it is because the status of women is relatively low, and at that time men were inferior to women, but now we will find that there are very few such situations, because these bad customs have been slowly changed, and everyone will find that the status of women has been improved, and we are now advocating equality between men and women. So anyone is entitled to sit at the table and eat, but if there are more guests and you are willing to give up your seat, that's another matter.

In fact, there are some cases because if there are guests in the house, then the host will be busy, especially the hostess, because at this time the task of cooking is basically handed over to them. You can't wait until all the dishes are completely cooked before everyone eats them, right? It must be a few dishes served and then the guests sit down to eat, and then you are busy in the kitchen.

By the time you're done, everyone else has basically eaten almost enough, so naturally they won't be on the table.

But a woman like this, she is generally more general, because she will think about the overall situation, but it doesn't mean that he can't eat at the table, if there are still people in the current society who don't let women eat at the table, then I think the customs of this place are worthy of condemnation. Anyway, I can't accept such a thing, if my boyfriend or future husband asks me to look like this, then I may even lift the table, I can't eat, you don't want to eat.

Generally speaking, the places where women can't eat at the table are remote and backward areas, and there is no culture, otherwise why would the Qing Dynasty still be so feudal?

According to statistics, some experts found that the phenomenon of "women cannot sit at the main table to eat" is concentrated in several provinces and cities such as Shandong, Hebei, Henan, Shanxi, Shaanxi, and Tianjin, among which the rural areas are the mainstay. (When I hit these provinces, I shivered, afraid that I would be said to be a black region.) And immediately some people jumped out and said that there is absolutely no such situation around me, some people really are, they don't exist if they haven't seen it, and they are the whole world around them.

This foul-smelling custom came about like this, seven-year-old men and women don't sit at the same table, and the old Kong Ding. In the past, they were poor, there was not much delicious food at home, and there were guests who came to definitely take delicious hospitality, but the family ate definitely not enough, and the hostess would lead the children not to the table, but also for the sake of their own face. Over time, it became a tradition.

There is no shortage of food now, but it is still customary for men to sit at the same table with men, and women and women at the same table when there are guests.

If you don't let you go to the table at your boyfriend's house for dinner, hurry up and go as far as you can. Don't expect him to be a man who is considerate of women and feels sorry for women. Thinking about it, he has not received an equal education for men and women since he was a child, and all he sees in his eyes are big men sitting on the table, and women hiding in the corner of the kitchen, how can he not take it for granted that you serve him and the size of a doll?

Hurry up and run, thank you for not marrying!

Mainly because some places are more feudal, and they think that women have a low status and therefore do not deserve to eat at the table.

Because some people still have feudal ideas and favor sons over women. They will think that women are slaves in the house, men are laborers, and women are not worthy to eat at the table.

Behind this phenomenon are factors such as living conditions and eating habits in the northern countryside. In the northern countryside, the meal is eaten on the kang. Generally, seven or eight people can sit on a fire, and about 10 people can be squeezed hard.

When a big family in the north had a dinner, they couldn't sit on the kang at all. Moreover, when eating, men like to drink first, and those who sit in the seats will be persuaded to drink. The women naturally retreated, or helped the hostess cook and stir-fry, or found another place to chat.

After the man has drunk and bragged, he will lean back and let the women and children, who have not eaten, go to the table to eat (that is, go to the kang). The weather in the north is cold, and the big family gathers to fry a lot of vegetables, and the cooking efficiency is not so high. If you wait until everything is ready and then eat it together, the food will be cold.

Therefore, the hostess who cooks is very pitiful, so she can't eat with everyone. This is one of the reasons why we can't eat together. Usually these situations are not discrimination against women, not that you are not qualified and have no status to serve, but that this dining habit and objective conditions make it impossible for everyone to serve the table.

In this case, women do not eat at the table, which is a kind of humility and balance, and a kind of contribution to the housework of cooking. However, in some areas, it is indeed discrimination to guess some families. In these families, women's humility and dedication are taken as inevitable and formed a habit, and over time, women are given a feeling of low status when they don't eat first.

Usually these family men are also more violent, and there is also an element of pseudo-machismo. Why is it called pseudo, that is, this kind of family is usually a very poor, very primitive and backward feudal family, and men have no ability to use these details to save face, that is, the so-called poor and exquisite. In their family, housewives are indeed oppressed.

Regardless of whether there is a place on the kang or not, whether you can sit open, you have to wait for the man to finish drinking and eating, and the woman can serve the table. It is considered rude and offensive for women to sit down and eat together. As a girlfriend, if you encounter the latter situation, you must think twice, whether you want to accept a boyfriend cultivated by such a family?

That's determined by the conditions of the family, firstly, the table is small and the stool is limited, so I let it be made for my son-in-law. This is the hospitality of the guests, and it does not mean that women cannot eat at the table. I remember watching a TV series when I was a child, and there were 5 daughters in this family, but when they went back to their parents' house, women were allowed to eat at the table, and sons-in-law were not allowed to eat at the table.

This shows that the fact that women cannot eat at the table is only an isolated phenomenon in ancient times.

Why do you have to serve if you don't eat? Why can't a woman serve a meal? This issue is clearly discriminatory against women and unfair to women.

The influence of the old people's patriarchal and feminine ideology. Because the head of the household represents the social image of the family, women and children are not allowed to sit at the table of the senior in formal settings, including when their own family entertains guests.

But that was in the past, in my family, in my father's time, that restraint had been broken. When I was outside, I sat down casually with my family, acquaintances, and friends, regardless of gender.

The men mostly drink alcohol, and the women and children only eat food. It would be economically scarce and had limited resources. If you don't wait for the end of the wait, I'm afraid you've already bottomed out. Going to a banquet is an opportunity to improve your meal. It is also rude behavior for the owner.

Compared to nowadays, people's most choices are that what I want to eat is becoming less and less. For the so-called banquet dinner, I have long lost interest, and it is not an exaggeration to even describe it as a change in color.

There are common topics among men and the same among women. Of course, behind closed doors, the husband and wife talked about it separately.

So we always like to be with people who have a common topic and talk and chat.

When I saw such a news before, I thought it was incredible. The news says this: A woman returned to her mother-in-law's house with her husband for the New Year, and a person worked hard to make a sumptuous Chinese New Year's Eve dinner, but was not allowed to eat at the table when she got married.

I thought it was just a special case in some places, and most of them were still families enjoying a hearty Chinese New Year's Eve dinner. After the child started school, she chatted with the mother of her daughter's classmate, and she talked about what happened to her relatives during the Chinese New Year.

I went to my uncle's house to visit relatives during the Chinese New Year, but I didn't expect that in addition to my own family, there were other relatives, and there were more people all of a sudden, so a table full of male compatriots, women could only eat in the kitchen, and men did not enter the kitchen.

If this were me, I would definitely be unhappy in my heart. Since I was a child, the family around me prepared the Chinese New Year's Eve dinner together during the New Year, no one sat and waited for the meal to eat directly, and there was no custom that men did not enter the kitchen, generally men were in charge, women washed vegetables, burned fires, and worked together.

Every place has its own customs, and I can't completely dismiss the customs of other places, I just want to say my own opinion. When the family divides labor and cooperates, works hard to complete a hearty meal, and then the family sits together, eats, and chats about family life, isn't it a very happy thing!

I don't know who brought it up for women not to be on the table. I talked to my father's father about this issue, and there is also a custom in my father's hometown that women don't serve at the table.

The child's father told me that it has been handed down for thousands of years, and that the male head of the family takes care of the guests as the head of the family, so women are not allowed to serve at the table.

When he said this, he also showed a sense of macho pride, I despised him in my heart at the moment, this family also has a hostess, why can't you entertain guests, do your best at the dinner table, don't find a hostess to come back, and handle the meal yourself to greet guests.

Although I have not experienced not being able to eat at the table in my child's father's hometown, I guess it is also the reason why I rarely go back, I think this is the most correct decision, because I know that my own concept is very different from the concept of my hometown, and I can't change my concept and habit when I go back once in a while, but if I am in that environment for a long time, I may fight at first, and after a long time, I will slowly be forced to accept it.

Therefore, after a girl gets married, she must establish a consciousness: I am the mistress of this family, I enjoy the same rights as the male host, and I also have my own autonomy in this family.