Nowadays, it s all grandmothers with children, where have grandmothers gone?

It may be that the mother thinks that she is even more invisible to her grandmother, so she wants her grandmother to take care of the children, and the grandmother will come to see if she has something to do.

Basically, grandma went to watch, when the child grows up, grandma will take the initiative to set close, and then please the child, at this time grandma will pretend to be a good person, and then obey the child, the child will naturally be very close to grandma, so grandma with children are basically inside and outside are not people.

Grandmothers are mostly at home, taking care of their daily lives. Because letting grandma take care of the child will not cause family conflicts, many mothers will do this.

My mother and grandmother took the baby to the age of two, but the baby was with the grandmother who never brought him, and I have encountered this thing and have personal experience: my mother helped me take the child to the age of three, and then because my sister gave birth to a second child.

Just went to help my sister. I take care of my own children and go to my grandparents' house on weekends. As a result, now my child opens his mouth and closes his mouth.

It's all "my grandma", and yesterday she also said that her grandparents and her are a family, but grandpa is not. Alas, when I heard this, I was really sad in my heart. I'm fine, but I'm a little sorry for my grandmother.

The hardest and most bitter time is when grandma is there! However, when you think about it, it's not hard to understand: people with children must set rules for their children.

You can't be dependent on your child all the time and everything, right? But grandma is different, she doesn't bring it, she doesn't live together, she goes on the weekend, she must be served with delicious food and drink, how happy the child is, how can she come. What kid wouldn't love it?

So, when I think about it, I don't get angry. The child will be sensible. ‍‍

Around me, I have seen such a scene, the baby's grandmother suffers from the baby, gives the baby a lot of money to buy clothes and toys, gives the baby infinite love and care, and later, the baby and grandma kiss, so that grandma is not a taste, grandma said complacently, they are blood relatives, broken bones and tendons, I do not deny this blood kinship, but still rely on the usual get along and pay, the baby is now with grandma, usually do not see grandma, grandma sees the baby is more doting, do not give the baby rules, Let the baby do what he wants, so the baby loves grandma.

Quite simply, the grandmother did not give the child emotional satisfaction, while the grandmother who did not take him inadvertently met some of the child's emotional needs. Seeing "the child, respond to the child in a timely manner, accompany the child cordially, play with the child, be their playmate, and even be willing to be his subordinate, follow his orders, let the child experience the ability to grasp himself and dominate the environment, experience the sense of accomplishment of doing one thing independently, and experience the sense of accomplishment of creative manufacturing." These are to meet the emotional needs of the child.

It will win the closeness and affection of the child. Even if this person has not been raising children for a long time, he will be more likely to be liked by his children than the person who has been taking care of children for a long time but does not know how to meet the emotional and psychological needs of children. ‍‍

Let's talk about the situation of my family, although our children are not brought by grandma, but when they are old, they have more contact with grandma, and the second child is brought up by myself, and I have no contact with grandma. Last year, I took my second child back to Beijing to see my grandmother. Grandma was asking, what do you want?

Then I will buy you something, and I usually take the children out to eat. Basically, children can do whatever they want, and during this time of contact with grandma, they don't need to go to school, they don't need to get up early, go to bed early, and they can be completely free to go on vacation. Let the child automatically associate all these benefits with grandma, so during that time grandma became her favorite person.

In fact, the child is not necessarily close to his grandmother, which means that he is not close to his grandmother, but it is different. To be honest, the child may be happier to play with his grandmother, if one day he is really in life, needs some security, needs someone who really wants to rely on, maybe he will think of grandma.

Let's talk about my son, grandma from his birth to one and a half years old, there is no rest in between, almost all of them are responsible for eating, drinking and playing, but in addition to his parents, he loves grandpa the most, followed by grandma, grandma, grandpa. It's not the bond of blood that everyone says, it's mainly because he stayed with his grandparents for a longer time after remembering, and his grandparents still spoiled him. It can only be said that the baby can't remember anything before the age of 2, and it is difficult for grandma to remember no matter how he takes him, but after the age of 2, whoever treats him well and accompanies him for a long time will be closest to him As for the blood relationship, the ratio of grandma and grandparents is the same, and there is no reason for this. ‍‍

I can only say that it is a blood relationship, as soon as my sister-in-law's daughter was born, her grandparents disliked her as a girl, and took care of her for less than two weeks, leaving the sister-in-law who was still in confinement and went back, or my mother-in-law took care of her confinement, in order to not quarrel with my sister-in-law and my uncle, after the confinement, my parents-in-law began to help my sister-in-law take her daughter to the age of six, her parents just saw their daughter when they were eating, and went home after eating, and the daughter lived in her grandparents' house, which was really pampered, at that time my husband, uncle, My sister-in-law is not married yet, and she is also obedient to her, and she has never scolded her for what she wants, even a little louder. And her grandmother never came out to see her once, her grandfather was occasionally out every few months to run errands, had to live at my mother-in-law's house, only to see the granddaughter, to put it mildly, met on the street, he didn't necessarily know this is his granddaughter, until now the child is eleven years old, but also every day at the grandparents' house to eat, occasionally the big uncle took back to the village to see the grandparents, but just like that, every time she came back to the village after coming out, she was very excited, saying how the grandparents were good to her.

It is probably in the occasional contact with the grandmother, in a fresh family exchange, although the child is small, but can feel a new emotional care from the grandmother. In order to accept this kind of concern more, we will respond accordingly with a flattering response. to gain favor.

This is a child's natural self-protection mechanism. Obtain more emotional material reserves from the surroundings that are conducive to self-growth. ‍‍

If the grandmother has been taking the child until the age of ten years, but the child is closer to the grandmother who does not take him, it can only be said that the child is a white-eyed wolf, but if the grandmother only takes the child to the age of two or three, and the child has more contact with the grandmother after the age of two or three, then it is normal for the child to be close to the grandmother, although we know that the child is the most difficult to bring in the first two or three years of birth, but the child does not know, and there is no memory! I bring my daughter myself, my mother will help me bring it when she has time, my daughter is currently very close to my mother, I plan to wait for my daughter to go to kindergarten I will go to work, trouble my mother to help me pick up the child from school and take the winter and summer vacations, I believe my daughter will not be a white-eyed wolf!

Whoever is more deliberate to please the child and accommodate the child, the child will be closer to whom on the surface, but the familiarity and attachment in the bones cannot be replaced, when in an unfamiliar environment or at night, the child will usually take care of his person, and grandma or grandma has nothing to do. In terms of blood relationship, the four old people are divided equally, and no one is closer.

Based on my observations, I believe that the reason for this phenomenon is largely determined by the attitude of the elderly towards their children. As children, it is their instinct and specialty to observe a person's attitude towards themselves, and whoever is "good to me" will throw themselves into the arms of whom. The standard for children to judge "good to me" is often to meet their own requirements and obey their own words, especially when family members disagree unconditionally to stand on the side of the child, etc., which is also a way for children to "take advantage of loopholes" when family members have inconsistent positions in daily discipline. ‍‍

My colleague's child is a good example: my colleague's child grew up in his grandfather's house since he was a child, and the kindergarten is also near his grandmother's house, picked up by his grandmother, and only on weekends or New Year's holidays will be at his grandmother's house, but when asked who the child is pro, the child's sorting grandma is always in front of the grandma, and the reason for my colleague's own analysis is that the grandma has a more anxious temper, and the method of managing the child is also simple and rude, and the attitude is tougher, while the grandma is more tolerant, when the child has any problems, Grandma also talks to her children in a gentle voice, rather than shouting loudly or with high-pressure policies.

Ideological problems, if you think he is a family to treat him in the way of a family, he will be close to you, if you feel that he is an outsider in your bones, you will naturally treat him unconsciously in the way of outsiders or guests, the child is not stupid, you can feel the intimate treatment, it has nothing to do with grandma or grandma.

Don't talk about grandma, my grandma directly said that she wouldn't take my daughter. My mom feels sorry for me, she helps me bring it! But if my daughter wants to go to her grandmother's for dinner, my mother-in-law will say to the baby

Don't call Mom, call Grandma, grandma is your dearest, your grandmother is an outsider! I always say to outsiders, my daughter-in-law doesn't give me the child, if you really want to bring the child to her, she said she doesn't care. She's right to be out there everywhere!

All are bad guys! So, people like my mother-in-law, I'm not here to say that I don't want to take the child, and I'm afraid that the child won't be close to her! This kind of person has a sick brain!

Even animals know who is good to me, and I will kiss them!

When grandma takes it, he kisses grandma, and when grandma takes it, he kisses grandma, and the child prefers two kinds of people, one is the person who dotes on him, and the other is the person who interacts with him a lot. My little grandson, grandma brought to three weeks, doting on the child, grandma's family is heavy, when the child comes, he likes to eat sauce, salted duck eggs. Vegetables only eat potatoes, and grandma loves to buy grilled sausages for children to eat, because children like to eat.

After three weeks, my grandmother took me, and I was able to listen to the child's voice more, but I would not spoil the child too much, I felt that spoiling the child would harm the child. In order to get rid of the child's eating habits, I hid the salted duck eggs and sauce, and in order to get rid of the child's habit of eating only potatoes, I chopped the potatoes and mixed them with some other vegetables, increasing the number and variety of other vegetables little by little, and at the same time, I would also reason with him. After three years, the child is now basically not a picky eater.

If the child does well, I will encourage the child, the child likes to eat grilled sausages, and I will occasionally satisfy him, but not often. Now the child is close to his grandmother, and he is closer to his grandmother.

Isn't it all the words of adults that give children a sense of belonging? Some grandparents and grandfathers did dig out their hearts and lungs, but they opened their mouths and closed their mouths, "Go back to your old X's house, what's wrong with your old X's house?" You're not our family, this is our family, your family is at your grandmother's house" This kind of thing is basically every grandpa and grandfather has said, right?

It is a lot of work, but unconsciously in the words to lose the child's sense of belonging, and finally to put the responsibility on the child to say that the child is a white-eyed wolf unfamiliar dog! (Adopted people who are not related by blood can be raised, why can't the so-called "foreign" grandchildren who are related by blood be raised?) Because no one will always instill in their adopted children "Go back to your old X's house, what's going on with your old X's family?"

You're not our family, it's our family, and your family is at your grandmother's house."

No, it won't! My son was brought to his two and a half years old by my mother, and later he brought it back to his grandmother's house on weekends! But he has a very natural intimacy with my mother! It's not like the politeness of his grandmother.

The main reason is that many grandparents always verbally reject children when they take care of their children, and they always feel that they are not their own, but just to help bring them. It's just out of liking it for a long time.,It's not sincere.。 So the child went back to his grandmother's house.

My daughter is close to her grandmother, and my mother often says that a foolish grandmother will only bring a nephew. I never said let my mother take it, she even looked down on me, how could she treat my daughter well, and often said that I had to give birth to a son, otherwise my status would not be guaranteed, joke, I want my status to be protected by my son? My mother-in-law is very good to me and dotes on my daughter, I have no objection to her spoiling her child, my daughter is to be spoiled.

It won't be like this. I bring my two-year-old son myself. Now the pregnancy is also brought by yourself.

My son cried when he saw his grandparents, and he didn't want them to just me. My mother-in-law and I are the kind of people who are not even strangers. People with bad hearts actually understand that children naturally don't kiss their grandparents.

Because grandparents are bad and not good for mothers. My son understands that even though he is only two years old. I think my son will be sensible in a few more years.

Naturally, I don't like grandparents even more.

It's very simple, because the grandmother didn't bring it well. If you are attentive, you must be who takes whom, and who has frequent interactions.

My son is also not close to his grandparents because they have never taken him with him, and they see them like strangers to each other.

I read what I said on the Internet before, that situation may be because grandma is in the process of taking it, maybe the child is disobedient and habitually says back to your grandma's house, grandma is an outsider with white belt, and then it is still with your grandma, and the baby will think so in the shadow. My grandmother and I are a family, so I feel that my grandmother is not as good as my grandmother. It's all man-made.

This is a more common phenomenon, I am the child's grandfather, since I have a little grandson I gave up the position of manager to Beijing to take care of the little grandson, I from the beginning of the height and weight of 165 pounds, to three years later the weight lost fifteen pounds, every day with the child and buy vegetables to cook, a day without a break time, and all living expenses are also voluntarily paid, I am for my daughter to be easier, sometimes the grandchild's grandmother also to take care of a period of children, but in addition to taking care of the child does not matter, laundry, Cooking has to wait for her daughter to come back from work, this is the difference between grandpa and grandma, but children are still close to grandma after the age of three or four.