What are the habits of the parents that cause the children in the family to be rebellious?

It is natural for parents to care about their children, and it is precisely because parents care about their children that parents will be eager to correct their children's problems. And the quickest way to correct your child's problem is to stop your child. And the fastest way to stop it is to criticize and scold, and use punishment to make children change quickly.

At the end of the day, the second emotion is at the service of the first. This is also why parents are accustomed to expressing the second emotion first and not the first emotion, parents are eager to solve the child's problem first, and solving the child's problem will naturally achieve the purpose of care.

When we educate our children, the most important thing we should use is to express the first emotion, not the second emotion. Although the expression of the second emotion can quickly correct the child's bad behavior, it can damage the parent-child relationship and in the long run, it is not conducive to the parent's education.

How can parents express the first emotion first.

So as a parent, how do you express the first emotion and avoid the second?

1. Be aware of your own behavior.

The first thing parents need to learn is to be aware of their own behavior, so that parents can look at their own emotional performance from a higher level.

So how do parents do it?

Here's a way to put a tag on your child's chest and remind parents to reflect on themselves whenever they see it. It may not work at first, but with more training and long-term use, parents will form a conditioned reflex. Even if there is no marker, parents can still wipe their behavior in time before they get angry.

2. Train more from the little things in your daily life.

If parents seriously reflect on their own behavior, you will find that it has become a habit for parents to express the second emotion instead of the first emotion. Therefore, it is not enough to wait for the child to have serious bad behavior, and start training from the small things of daily life.

For the vast majority of parents, they may never think about this emotional expression problem, and always habitually express a second emotion. And this wrong expression of emotions destroys the parent-child relationship, makes the child misunderstood, and finally rebels and disobedient against the parents. Parents should learn to express the first emotion and actively express the first emotion to their children, and eventually parents will reap the love that their children will reciprocate.

The excessive doting of parents unconditionally fulfills the wishes of their children from an early age, and gives them as long as the children want. Secondly, parents do not do a good job of education, so that children do not form good values, and come into contact with some people or things that should not be contacted. Parents should tell their children to learn to control their emotions, not to be led by emotions, and to be the master of emotions.

One is to deny children, parents often deny their children, discourage, and affirm their children's grades, which will make children distrust their parents and drift away from their parents; The second is not to listen to the child's opinions, always feel that the child has not grown up, so that the child eventually feels that his opinion is not important, and needs to rely on rebellion to attract the attention of parents.

The relationship between parents is not harmonious, and there is always criticism of the child, feeling that the child is not doing well, so that the child can not get some respect and praise psychologically, so the child will be prone to rebellion, and does not like to listen to the words of the parents.

There are many behaviors that parents cause their children to rebel, and the psychological counseling teachers of Chenfeng Education believe that there are mainly the following situations:

1. Parents hurt their children's self-esteem in public and do not respect their children.

Many parents think that their children are small and have no self-esteem. In order to educate children, they will embarrass children regardless of venue. For example:

When there are more people, parents may say that the child is timid, or that the child's academic performance is too poor, or that some of the child's privacy ...... in front of others. At the time, parents may think that this is a small matter, but in the minds of children, such behavior can seriously hurt their self-esteem and make them feel that they are no longer safe at home. As a result, they will no longer trust their parents, and they will have unconscious resistance to their parents' words, and the parent-child relationship will be indifferent, and the child will slowly become a disobedient child.

2. Parents do not keep their promises and deceive their children.

Parents have deceived their children in their children's growth, such as: promising their children to eat KFC, but later parents found various reasons not to take their children there, parents promised their children material rewards after learning progress, and parents did not do ......These are all promises that parents make to their children at will, but they have not fulfilled them. If this goes on for a long time, a wrong view will be formed in the minds of children, and when parents ask their children to do something and ask their children to take responsibility for themselves, the children will not comply, and they will become rebellious and disobedient people.

3. Parents label their children negatively, and treat their children's bad or bad things as a joke.

Many parents unintentionally will take their children's bad work or their children's troubles as a joke. For example: speech is slurred, you can't always distinguish between "gray" and "fly", you can't sing on stage and forget your words, and you can't distinguish between the front and back ...... when dressing.

Originally, the child felt very uncomfortable when such a mess happened, but the parents used these things to joke with others in front of the child, and even labeled the child as "stupid" and "timid" 、...and so on; This can be embarrassing and can hit your child's self-confidence. Parents may laugh it off, but children may be obsessed.

All children have rebellious periods.

It may be that you often yell at home, you may often abuse your partner, or you may not know how to respect others.

Often abusing the child, often belittling the child, if you have these habits, it will only make your child more and more rebellious.

That must be spoiling the child too much, no matter what the child does is wrong or right, he will support the child in everything.

Introduction: When parents see that their children are more rebellious, they should adjust the tone of their own speech to their children and not let their children be influenced by themselves. Parents should learn to communicate with their children when they see their children rebellious, see if their children have something they want to do, and if they want to do something, parents should support their children.

Today, I will tell you about rebellion, is rebellion something every child has, and what should I do at this time?

If parents see that their children are more rebellious, let their children get rid of this bad habit, parents can not use violence against their children and children use violence, children will also be very uncomfortable, parents will also see some negative effects. Parents can appropriately help their children adjust the state of their children's existence, and learn to communicate with their children, so that children can understand that what parents do is for their own good, and let children smoothly pass the rebellious period. If the child is in school, parents can communicate with the teacher appropriately, do not let the child in the school rebellious more powerful, some children tell their parents that they do not want to go to school, parents will appropriately help the child adjust this phenomenon, do not let the child have a bad phenomenon, the child will be very uncomfortable, and unwilling.

Parents should communicate well with their children, and in front of their children, parents should strongly encourage their children.

If parents want to help their children get out, the best way is to take their children out and walk around more often, so that they can breathe fresh air outdoors. If the child does not want to eat, parents should not force the child to eat, it will bring a rebellious mood to the child, to understand the child's emotions, if the child is sad, parents should comfort the child in time. If the child is unwilling to listen to the parents, the parents should learn to find opportunities to communicate with the children, and do not educate the children while the children are eating, which will bring bad phenomena to the children.

Rebellion is something that every child has, at this time parents should work hard to understand their children, and then keep up with their children's thinking to be good friends with their children, and children will not always disobey their parents.

Yes, at this time, parents need to be patient with their children, and they also need to communicate with their children more to be able to cope.

No, we must guide the child correctly, understand the child's thoughts, and let the children understand the parents' thoughts, and don't be too strong at this time.

The child's rebellion is caused by family reasons, and the child will suddenly become rebellious: because many children, the most unwilling thing to accept when they were children, have been blindly comparing themselves with other people's children, and other people's children are always better. Parents have always compared the advantages of other people's children to their own shortcomings, causing them to feel that they are inferior to others, and after normal, there will be a very painful psychological burden in the game, and they feel that they are inferior to others in everything.

In fact, parents are always like this, taking other children and their own children more likely to harm their children further and further.

In the case of cultural education of children, many parents have always worried that their children have no self-control, or they have been afraid that their children will make mistakes and lose their way, and they will have to take care of everything for their children, and they will not feel at ease about anything. However, when most children reach a certain age, they want to be valued by their parents and want to be independent. Looking at you, a child, most of them feel that they have the ability to do a good job, but they have been subjected to parental intervention.

The most unbearable thing for many children is that their parents blame themselves for no reason, no matter what, they don't care about the reason and scold them violently. Sometimes children do something wrong, just expecting to be relieved by their parents, if parents can give their children more support and comfort, children also want to communicate with their parents more. Children are reluctant to hide from their parents after what they have done, and look forward to communicating with their parents to deal with it, but when they think of their parents' blame and punishment, they avoid it.

Some children also have rebellious emotions after reaching a certain age, which is likely to be mainly due to too much depression in normal times, and they will gradually release it when they come to a certain link.

Some parents are especially strong in the case of cultural education of their children, no matter what the child likes or what he wants, the parents will reject the child and will instill their own ideas into the child. Children who grow up in this condition are very eager to be recognized by others, so in order to meet this requirement, children use some fearful behaviors to prove to their parents that they have grown up.

Whether the child is rebellious and the family has a certain reason, if the parents can not play a positive role in the image, then it will affect the formation of a child's character, of course, most of the children will have some rebellious behavior during puberty, this is because of their physical and psychological changes, parents in the education of their children Wang or time, try to be more patient, help them guide on the right track.

I think part of the reason why a child's rebellion is caused by family; Children who regret their difficulties at the age of 12 to 16 are prone to rebellion, because at this time children have their own ideas and do not want to listen to their parents all the time.

I think it may be because of the family, the child is rebellious because he wants to be independent when he is older, so he will work against his parents.

Parents interfere too much in their children's decisions, parents always disagree with their children's ideas, and parents are not able to give their children enough independence. Parents need to communicate with their children in a calm tone, know how to respect their children's wishes, and do not beat and scold their children at will.

Causing children to rebel, it may be due to the lack of communication between parents and children caused by the ideological contradictions, parents are influenced by traditional thinking, can not understand the psychology of children, lack of democratic awareness of children's education; You should communicate more with your child, communicate more, and try to understand your child and what he likes.

Bad social atmosphere, bad school spirit, poor self-control of children, affected by the family; Parents should tell their children about the importance of learning, correct their attitudes, and sign regular supervision to encourage their children.

There is a certain genetic relationship with the personality of the parents. Family relationships, if parents do not have more care and companionship in their usual lives, children will be lonely and do not like to communicate, so it is easy to misjudge and overthink the things around them. Lack of social attention.

The child's mind is not so mature, and the problems he thinks about are relatively simplistic, so the bad things and behaviors in society will lead him in the wrong direction. The children resisted, and there used to be not many people in the countryside, there were no mobile phones, no Internet, but now they have completely changed. In essence, children are rebellious during adolescence and have conflicts with their parents, many of which are normal processes that are generally alleviated after puberty.

But that doesn't mean there are no problems! Because rebellion is a prominent manifestation of family problems, the more children resist, the more serious the problems within the family! If it does not exceed the range of the self-adjustment capacity of the individual and the family, the individual and the family have a range that can bear and adjust, so it will be slowly relieved.

In our country, many parents have high hopes for their children. "Hope that the son will become a dragon and the daughter will become a phoenix" has also become the ultimate goal of the traditional education model. Therefore, parents will be very strict with their children, revolving around their children all day long, treating grades as everything, and if there is a slight drop in grades, they will be reprimanded and punished by their parents.

To be honest, in such a repressive and rough family environment, it is difficult for children not to resist. The regression of adolescence comes from the psychology of children who "don't want to be manipulated anymore", and its roots are "stress education" as children. Children are actually like springs.

The heavier the pressure from the parents, the weaker the child's strength, everything seems normal, but as the child grows older, the stronger the will to resist.

We always say to our children, "You can't fall in love", but we never talk to our children about why we can't fall in love. Some parents may say that I said it to my child. He's still young, and early love will affect his studies, so it's not good.

So, is puppy love allowed if it doesn't affect academic performance? The biggest danger of puppy love is not the impact on grades, but the unavoidable future and unbearable responsibility. Chen Anyi, an expert in parent-child education, said this on how to deal with the problem of early love.

What causes the child's resistance? Personally, I think that many children are used to being pampered by their parents. Now there are a lot of children left.

Both parents have been working in other places for a long time. I only came back once a year to see you.

Many children are raised by grandparents and grandparents in the family. Nowadays every family basically has one or two children, so too many parents and grandparents give special love to their children. When they are the pearl of the palm, they give what they want.

If he could not satisfy them, he would roll on the ground, crying, making noise, and shouting loudly. Many parents see their child crying and making noise, and they are reluctant to let him cry, they want to satisfy him and give him everything. The child wants the star in the sky, but he wants to take it off.

With such excessive doting, as time passed, the child slowly embarked on the path of resistance.