What is it like to live alone in a big city?

Occasionally, I would cook a large table of dishes and eat them by myself, and I always felt that something was missing. Watching a popcorn movie alone. I almost dare not watch romance movies, there are too many couples who abuse dogs around me, especially when I see the tear scene, my mood is very down all of a sudden, and the originally hard heart suddenly melts away, and I just want to find a shoulder to lean on.

When a person goes to the mall, buys clothes, or cosmetics, and sees a favorite item, he mentally estimates the time it will take to get it. When I see my favorite clothes, I can't pull my legs, I feel that it fits no matter how I wear it, and I feel beautiful no matter how I pose for photos.

Over the years of living alone, loneliness is sometimes very strong, so that I hate to go to the street to catch someone to immediately visit the church and get married, but it also makes me feel very safe, I don't have to accommodate too many people, I don't have to bear the lives of others, and I don't have to feel that I am not perfect enough to be uneasy, in general, these solitary lives have given me enough time and energy to understand myself, what I want, what I don't want, what I desire and what I spur, admit my own desires and weaknesses, and discover my own strength and beliefs, It is not easy for people to understand themselves, and since I have been so many steps behind others, I must make some progress in self-knowledge, so that I can continue to look at the world and move forward slowly.

I once coughed and wheezed until I almost lost my breath in the middle of the night, and I once shivered and wept alone on the operating table. There is nothing more helpless and heartbreaking than being alone in the hospital. I thought I was independent and strong enough to train in a foreign land thousands of miles away, but in fact, when I went home, I would immediately switch to the mode of not growing up as a child, greedily enjoying the good of my family, and deliberately letting myself be very lazy, as if I wanted to make up for the grievances I suffered outside, as well as the lack of shelter and love, here in the past few days when I went home.

My family can't finish talking about the little details I doted on in my life, so let's stop there. It's so warm, or maybe it's too warm, that I always want to go outside and see it"The life that young people should live", hard, lonely, living in a rented house, meeting all kinds of different people.

I have a terrible idea recently, I began to envy those who stay in their hometown, envy them for being able to get to the company in ten minutes, can't get a taxi to pick up their father, eat and live at home, have pure savings, and can go home for a nap at noon, the kitchen will not be piled up with a week's worth of dishes and chopsticks unwashed, anytime you are hungry, someone will make food for you, and if anything happens, the whole family will make suggestions together, instead of helplessly posting to Moments, and tell yourself with a wry smile that no one really cares about it. After leaving home, I always feel that I have missed too much, time is walking at ten times the speed, I am always afraid, the next time I go home, my mother's hair will be grayer, and my grandmother's health is not good, I am very afraid, I am really afraid. It's like in the past 20 years, the family has always been the same, never old, shrewd and strict, capable of running a family, and capable of everything.

Sitting on the subway and looking at the dark outside of the car, a row of fancy advertisements flashed from time to time, which formed a very sharp contrast with the dark underground corridor. When you get home, put on a melodious song "Unchained Melody", and then slowly dance to the rhythm, no one will see it, and it is not for anyone to dance, but your tense body will relax and enjoy it for a day, and you will feel that no matter how tired you are today, how many worries you have, what will happen tomorrow, at least, at this moment, there are still my CDs with me, and my songs with me.

A person has to learn to be a man outside, how helpless the word is to be a man, you have to smooth out all the edges and corners, because you make a mistake and no one blocks it for you, you have to wear a variety of masks and deal with different people, and bargain with customers for the company. Slowly, you will find that no one cares what you have been through, and no one really cares how helpless you are today, so pretend to live well and wander through this society with indifference and hypocrisy like every mature person.

I studied here for four years in college, and after graduation, I signed a company two streets away from the school, I had an accident at home at the age of fifteen, and I had no fixed place, so I don't like to wander around, especially to stay in one place comfortably, used to knowing where to sleep tonight, knowing where to go tomorrow, I fell in love in the first year of work, the life of the two is not too attractive to me, I feel that I can't talk together slowly, and the living habits are not the same, and the two fragile young people can't save anyone, looking at each other at a loss, It's better to fly solo.

First of all, only after experiencing this state can you understand how difficult it is.

College life is a group life, and six or eight students in the dormitory spend four years of good time together, eating together, playing games, shopping together, and gossiping together. In the blink of an eye, after graduating from college, everyone went their separate ways, either returning to their cities or running to more prosperous cities.

There are no friends and relatives in a big city, and you can no longer see each other anytime and anywhere like in a small town. Big cities seem to be bustling, and it seems that everywhere is full of people for entertainment, but it is still full of loneliness. This is because the cost of socializing in big cities is too high, and working hours are too long or too far away, which can lead to the compression of social space.

If you often feel lonely, think about what you can do to make life meaningful.

1. Find a random attraction to check in all day.

Most young people who have just come out, if their social circle is too small, it is easy to fall into the rhythm of "going to work, messing around at home, going to work". Because of this, you will feel that life is not new, there is a lack of change, and it is done step by step.

But if you make a good plan, every free holiday, pick a surrounding scenic spot, do a detailed strategy, and take a quiet walk alone to have a look, it is also a way to adjust your mood. Maybe a completely different unfamiliar environment will bring a lot of freshness. Maybe the more you go, the more reasons you have to fall in love with the city.

2. Learn a skill.

Many people spend their free time after work, either watching TV series, or watching short**, or spending time in endless loneliness. It's better to learn something, whether you can use this skill for the time being, at least it will save you from being stuck in the abyss of loneliness at that time.

As you develop your skills in fragmented time, you may be able to leap forward in your work, succeed, and become stronger.

After all, when you are full of energy and value, other people will naturally want to move closer to you, and more importantly, even if no one is near you, you will no longer be afraid of loneliness and crave recognition as much as you are today.

The vast majority of anxiety is caused by thinking too much and doing too little, setting a long-term, arduous goal to keep yourself busy and do something concrete. If you now work 12 hours a day to carry water, then make good use of the time when you can't sleep, feel bored and empty to dig a well, and when you become strong and rich, most of the hypocrisy will disappear.

Keep quiet, and lead to the extreme. Enjoy and seize this rare moment of tranquility, which you don't often get in your life. When your life is filled with firewood, rice, oil, salt and chicken feathers, such a relaxing and beautiful time is gone.

One. First of all, you will feel that the city is very big, and it is also very empty, and you will come to the big city after you are familiar with the quiet and peace of the small city, the first change you will feel is "big", the city is very big, the buildings are very high, the lights are very beautiful, there are a lot of people, you will like the hustle and bustle of the city at first sight, and you will also intuitively feel the prosperity and charm of the city. But after a while, you will feel a change of mood, as if your body is left in this city, but your soul is drifting away, because you know that in that familiar city, in the familiar street, there will always be a light left for you.

Two. You will also feel your own insignificance and fragility Living alone in a big city, you will find yourself small and fragile, because there are really many excellent people around you, people with good looks, high education and high ability abound, it may be that on a rainy night, we hold an umbrella and wait for the bus at the bus stop, look down and touch the soaked trouser legs, and look up to see our friends driving past us, we will find ourselves small and vulnerable. Three.

You will find that the person you once wanted to escape from will also become the person you mention in your mouth every day, when you were a child, you always wanted to grow up quickly, to get rid of the shackles of your parents, but when you grow up, you find that this is not the case, I don't know why, when I study and work in a strange city, I will think of the place I once wanted to escape from the most, and think of the person who often restrains me, I will think, how are they doing, should they get off work now? Watching TV right now, right? It should be in ...... nowMaybe it's in the pursuit of an ideal life that you can recognize your true self.

Although the big city is prosperous, it lacks a trace of local flavor; Although the big city is big, it can't accommodate a wanderer.

The feeling is grievance, and there is loneliness. When I think of living alone in a city, all I think of is grievances. There are thousands of lights, but none of them are lit for themselves. Thinking of his family, from now on, there is only winter and summer in his hometown, and there is no spring and autumn.

When I was most uncomfortable, I would tell my family that everything was okay and then tell myself that I couldn't fall down because there was no one behind me. In fact, the so-called empathy does not exist, and the emotions we feel are our own.

We take care of the people around us and handle friendships with care. I feel that if I miss a meal, I miss a singing, and I will lose someone. We learn to get along with a lot of people, but we don't learn to live alone.

Often in the dead of night, it is the screen of the mobile phone that is lit, because if there is not enough information to fill the eyes, there will be a lot of thoughts rushing to the heart.

But we are always alone. Friendship is the relationship between oneself and friends. Love is to balance oneself and get along with lovers. Therefore, the most important thing to learn is to live alone. I always feel that it is hypocritical to say that a person is lonely.

Learning to be a person is a compulsory course in life. When you communicate with yourself, you are actually growing up. In the past, I always had an attitude, that is, how could I not enjoy the world of flowers.

Like now, we've found a better reason for ourselves to be in such a big world that I want to see it. But if we can't even fit in with the place where we live, we go to the place where others live and see what other people's lives can look like. After looking at other people's lives, it's not that I can't live this life.

Slowly learn to enjoy one's life. Fill your life with sports, reading, work, hobbies. The so-called freedom is really not someone else's, not given by work, not given by holidays.

The so-called difference between freedom and unfreedom is nothing but the shackles imposed on the soul by oneself. If a person feels happy when he reads, he will definitely not feel unfree.

Living alone in a big city, although we often feel aggrieved and lonely, we will slowly get used to it, and we will still feel that life is more happy than unhappy.

1. There are many opportunities and wide platforms.

Why do young people in small cities sharpen their heads and want to work in the system? One of the key reasons is that there are few job opportunities in small cities, the platform is small, and even if there are so many suitable enterprises, the wages will be pitiful, and it is not as good as being in the system, with establishment, decent work, and stability. In small cities, the salaries of civil servants and public institutions belong to the upper level, which shows how many platforms there are.

One of the obvious benefits of big cities is that there are more opportunities, more jobs to choose from, and higher wages in comparison. And there are many working platforms in big cities where we can continue to learn and grow, rather than being able to touch the ceiling all at once and see what life will live in five or ten years, which is very necessary for a motivated young person.

2. High quality of life.

Why are we desperately trying to make money? Isn't it just to give yourself and your family a good life? What does it mean to live a good life?

We have passed the era when food and clothing cannot be solved, so what we are pursuing now is nothing more than spiritual enjoyment, entertainment, leisure, etc., and the living facilities in small cities are not as perfect as those in large cities.

A colleague who studied in a big city for 7 years and worked for 3 years was asked by his parents to return to his hometown to take the civil service exam, and after being admitted, he really adapted to it for a long time, after all, he had lived in a big city for ten years and couldn't adapt to the living environment ......of his hometown

Nowadays, young people want to be open-minded, and making money is to enjoy life, so the quality of life in small cities can no longer meet them.

3. The environment of education and medical care is better.

Education and medical care are also indispensable resources in people's lives, and there is still a big difference between big cities and small cities.

Take kindergarten education as an example, a friend shared with me her niece's kindergarten textbook, and there is a story about a baby born from under the armpit! What kind of misunderstandings will this story cause for children? There is nothing to say about the backwardness of education in small cities, at least we should not give children the wrong guidance.