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It's a complicated issue, I think you should consider it from three aspects: first, it is true that you cheated on your husband, and you used another deception to try to cover up the previous deception, which is itself a mistake on top of a mistake, I think as long as a man will have this reaction; Second, if you have realized your mistakes, you have to make up for them, tell your husband the truth of the matter (choose the right time, remember: sincere, regret, ask for forgiveness, move with affection, not to mention that you already have children, you can do something in this regard), the important thing is not to have any lies, the most important thing between husband and wife is integrity; 3. Parental affection is something that no one can give up, if he has parents, be more filial than before, let him feel that you love him and his parents, and then ask him to continue to love your parents!
Think of your parents, love knows no bounds! )
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In fact, you have already made your own choice, you are guilty of a mistake in the past and untrue to your husband (shirk responsibility, in fact, you are also responsible, and your parents are not good, you are also born to them, can not be changed, you should think about the good place to be a person, don't feel sorry for yourself) When you explain, you should already consider what the relationship between your husband and your parents will be deadlocked in the future, and now it is too late to regret it, and when things come to this point, you can only start from your husband and do more ideological work, if there is really no way, think about the fact that there is only one parent, and the husband is gone
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Since it was something that happened before I didn't know your husband, it wasn't a matter of being sorry for him; You are wrong for "pretending to cheat on him for the first time when you got married".
The problem is also that you have found a lot of reasons for your behavior, which sounds like your parents' fault, and it seems that your husband also agrees with the reasons you have given him, so he also has no good feelings for your parents, and even has a bad feeling, thinking that your parents treat you badly, so he doesn't want you to go to your parents' house again, it is likely that he thinks that if you look forward to you, you will not be hurt by them again.
But although the reasons you are looking for are all bad parents, you still have feelings for your parents, and you still want to go back to visit them, right? So your husband's "not allowed" bothers you.
If you can find the reason from yourself, no longer simply push the responsibility for what you have done in the past to your parents, but find out where you should also bear the responsibility and can communicate your understanding with your husband very well, maybe you can solve the resentment in your husband's heart, if he is not angry with your parents, he will naturally not prevent you from going back to visit your parents to fulfill your filial piety.
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From your account, it can be seen that your husband did not let you honor your parents because of you.
Because you said too much about your parents in front of your husband, your husband went to your parents because he loved you.
I can't forgive you for being irresponsible, I don't think you should think about divorce like that! You should spend more time and communicate with your husband slowly, and talk to him about the good of your parents and the nurturing of you.
hardship, let him slowly fade his dissatisfaction with your parents!!
May you regain your good life, not only for yourself but also for your children!!
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Of course, it is the parents, we may love many people in our lives, but the parents are the only ones, and the love of parents is beyond anyone's ability. However, it's better to communicate well. Don't make such extreme choices.
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If you really think that this man is worth it with you for the rest of your life, I will not disappoint you in the future.
Then you should think about it more If that man is worth it, I think both parents and lovers want it.
No one forces you to give up on either side, and the contradiction can always be resolved, and it can be resolved little by little, day by day.
Because you have children, you can't get a divorce.
In that case, you have to sit in the middle and stand on your husband's side and say good things to your husband.
Also stand on your parents' side and help your husband say good things (you can also use some practical points to buy gifts directly so that they don't know that you bought them).
People who have children, I don't know how to solve this matter, how to bring your own children in the future.
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There was a teacher who wrote a few words on the blackboard, namely, friends, classmates, brothers, sisters, parents, husband and wife, children, relatives. After that, the teacher called a female classmate to the stage and asked, if you were asked to give up 3, who would you choose, and the girl did not hesitate to choose friends, classmates, and relatives. If you were asked to give up 2 more, who would you choose, the girl was stunned for a moment, and then chose brothers and sisters.
If you were asked to give up 1 more, who would you choose, the girl hesitated for a long time and bit her lip and chose her parents. In the end, the teacher asked, the remaining 2, you can only choose to keep one, give up one, who will you give up... The girl cried, but in the end chose the couple and gave up the child.
The teacher was puzzled and asked why.
Girls, friends, classmates, siblings, relatives, and those three, insignificant, my parents raised me, kindness is like a mountain, but the seed will grow old, the child is their own flesh and blood, blood is thicker than water, but the seed has to start a family. Who will accompany me in the end to grow old, and most importantly, will he love me?
The teacher's eyes are moist.
Do you also have to ask yourself, does he love me? If...
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If you really can't get through, you can only choose the one you think is the most important.
I often play on a forum with many questions about emotions and a lot of enthusiastic friends. I believe that the masses will have someone to help you answer. Please 7gg, I'm sure there is something you like.
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Of course you want your parents, and without your parents, you're here?
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Filial piety comes first What can a person who is not filial to his parents expect.
You ask your husband who he would choose between you and his parents.
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It's okay, let time dilute everything.
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You said a bunch of things, it's just a phenomenon, not a cause.
It may seem that your misfortune is all caused by quarrels, which in turn lead to problems in the relationship between your parents and your husband, but the most critical question is:What is the reason for your quarrel?
Let's give a pragmatic piece of advice: keep communicatingSet the rules.
1. "Be reasonable".
Before reasoning, it is necessary to make an agreement on reasoning, and it is necessary to make an agreement on the arbitration mechanism first, which is the principle of "reasoning" itself.
2. Seek common ground while reserving differences.
1) All actions must be based on the consensus of both parties on the determination of facts, the logic of principles, and the goals of action – this is the common ground.
2) All actions must be taken in such a way as to avoid causing either side to suffer because of differences in perception – there are differences.
3) The knowledge of all parties in the above aspects shall not be subject to the jurisdiction and judgment of any other party. (Living is a matter of two people, and it has nothing to do with parents).
Why these three elements? In fact, these three elements are pseudonyms for world view, values, and outlook on life. Fact-finding is the worldview. The logic of principles is values. The goal of action is the outlook on life.
We must not arbitrarily trample on the interests and freedoms of the other side without knowing our borders.
In any social relationship,No rules can last longConflicts can only be avoided if the rules are clear. Above.
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If you have children, you usually have to take care of them together, and leaving either of your parents will hurt your children, unless you also get to the point of harmonious divorce like in the United States. But if you're my daughter, I'll divorce you!
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You can try to coordinate the two parties, then it is both parties, if you really can't coordinate, then choose your parents.
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As long as there is no domestic violence, ignore these for the time being, just get by if you can, go out to make money after the New Year, go back to your in-laws' house less, be out of sight and out of mind, and then consider whether to divorce when the children grow up.
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It's best to get a divorce, first of all, in marriage, the husband is not compatible, and he is not comfortable. Secondly, life is still long, you will meet better ones, but marriage is a bondage. Why give up an entire forest because of a tree?
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Personally, I think that both husband and father are important, one is.
I live with you every day.
husband, while the other is to give birth to you and raise you.
Target. Dad, so it's all important. I.
thinks that it is easier to deal with things between men and men, because men are generous and sensible. The same.
Have you ever seen a discord between your husband and your father-in-law, even if there is?
Yes, there are few, but there are many people who are not in harmony with their mothers-in-law. Mother-in-law and.
Daughters-in-law are all women, and it is a little difficult to deal with things between women and women. Not much. Maybe that's the difference between a man and a woman!
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Husband and wife love is the best education for children.
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How to say it, it is not easy for our parents to raise us, no matter what happens in the future, we have to repay them and make them happy, the husband is another matter, the husband is a woman's dependence in this life, the person she loves the most in this life.
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This passage gives you a reference:
Zuo Biography "Li Gong for four years, sacrificing the dictatorship of the country. Li Gong was in trouble, and Yin made his son-in-law Yongjiao want to kill the sacrifice Zhong. Correcting the wife, sacrificing the middle daughter, knowing, said his mother:
Father and husband? The mother said, "The father is only one, and everyone is a husband."
The woman sued the sacrifice Zhong, and the sacrifice Zhong killed Yongjie and killed him in the city. Li Gong Wu sacrificed Zhong He, and angrily said: "If you plan to reach the woman, it is better to die!" ”
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The question you are asking is because you didn't grasp something, or you didn't grasp something with your husband, so you asked this question!
Which is important, you say? One is a partner who wants to spend a lifetime together, and on the other hand, the parents who raised you and gave you life! Which is not meat in the palm of the hand and the back of the hand?
It can't be said that there is only one pair of parents, and the husband is gone, can he remarry?!In this case, you have not recognized the ultimate purpose of marriage!
Of course, in reality, especially when you and his parents get together and fight, you are uncomfortable, I believe, he must also be uncomfortable, but, responsibility, I want to say, originally, it is difficult for a clean official to decide family affairs, but the responsibility should be you and his responsibility! It stands to reason that neither of your parents should bear such a responsibility for you! It doesn't matter which side of them is justified with each other!
You are the core of the family, and you are the ones who will take the lead! You are the ones who will take charge of the affairs of both sides!
This kind of thing, of course, if you think about it again, your husband should be more responsible! However, at this time, you can say again, whose fault is it? Whose responsibility is it? This will make the home even more restless!
Therefore, it will not take a day or two to solve this matter! You'd better not live with your parents, but that doesn't mean ignoring them!
Filial piety is still filial piety!
Stop blaming anyone for their faults, and stop judging who matters!
Live well in the moment, good for both parties, especially you and him, self-reflection! Perhaps, if it can be handled well, this is still a turning point, but if it is not handled well, perhaps, it will inevitably end badly.
Therefore, on the premise of persuasion and not persuasion, you must be self-reliant, live your life, and discuss how to fulfill the filial piety of both parties. Don't lead your business to each other's parents, it's best that they can't see it, live relatively far away, hey, do your best, work hard, come on! I wish life can get better slowly! I wish you all happiness too!
Property registered in the father's name is not part of the joint property of the husband and wife, and the husband and wife have no right to divide it in the event of divorce. In the event of a divorce, the joint property of the husband and wife shall be disposed of by mutual agreement; If the agreement is not reached, the people's court shall make a judgment based on the specific circumstances of the property and the principle of taking care of the rights and interests of the children and the woman.
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