Why is it that when the things I expect really happen, I am not as happy as I imagined?

When a person achieves a goal, most of them have already paid the corresponding price, maybe it is hard work, or time, money or affection, whatever it is, because of this effort, the mentality will inadvertently change: this is what I deserve. And this kind of mentality is the hardest to get happiness, because the good results come too naturally, too expectedly.

On the other hand, the state that is most likely to produce psychological satisfaction is: I am fortunate to have gained, I have lost my life, and I have no expectations, but I really got it. In this case, even if it costs a lot, it is not always possible to get a good result, such as when an athlete who participated in the Olympics won a medal, or when he made a lot of efforts to confess to the god or goddess.

Or maybe it's a surprise from someone else: when I was a child, I wanted a game console and a doll, but the next day I suddenly appeared at the bedside. However, it should be noted that reaching the goal also means losing the goal, and if you don't set the next goal in advance, it is easy to fall into confusion.

This confusion can sometimes dilute the joy of achieving a goal. For example: I must be the king this season, huh?

The king? So what am I going to do next, it's so boring, it seems like I suddenly lost all motivation. ‍‍

Because you are already happy when you look forward to the moment of realization, and after the realization you will continue to have other problems that make you unhappy. If you are not happy at school, you look forward to the holiday, and the holiday will also make you happy, and what makes you unhappy is what happens after the holiday. Just like if you are unemployed, you will be unhappy and look forward to finding a job, but after finding a job, you will encounter a lot of difficulties at work, at this time you will think that you are unhappy when you find a job, but you are unhappy not because you find a job, but because of the difficulties at work; At this time, you will feel happy on vacation, you will look forward to the holiday, and after the holiday, you have to go home to face your parents urging marriage, gossip with relatives and friends, and pay with gifts, and you will feel unhappy on vacation, and in fact, what makes you unhappy is not the holiday, but the unhappy things that happen after the holiday.

In fact, no matter what state you are in, there will be unhappy things, and you can't say that this state makes you unhappy, but what happens.

Speaking from my own experience, I think it's because I've waited too long to get results. For example, the former is difficult and has a high gold content, and I expect to pass the exam, from the end of the exam to the three months of the results, I have imagined countless times how happy I will be if I pass the exam, and I may have been accustomed to the joy of passing in the process of fantasizing, and I really know that the result is very calm. However, in the accounting profession, the results are released immediately after the exam, and I am very excited about what I am looking for.

So I think it's the long wait that consumes my mind, and I don't have the happiness I imagined when my wish is fulfilled.

Because sometimes you have too high expectations for good things, it is natural for you to question whether something is wrong with your mind when there is a gap in reality. I thought back to my own situation, and it was not so much disappointed in the merits of the object, but as disappointed in the fact that my heart and effort were not rewarded accordingly.

You can imagine anything that will come in advance, but once it comes, he will already be the same bird, and there will be no possibility of any change. Sometimes I solve a problem that is very difficult for me, and the moment I realize that the answer has come out, my heart is as calm as stagnant water, as if I can hear the flow of air, but I still don't know why, there is no unexpected ecstasy at all. ‍‍

It took a long time to prepare something alone, and when it was time to really put an end to it, the mood at that moment was not tears in my eyes, not a lot of emotion, or an impatient invitation to the world. It's simply two words: easy.

With a long breath, he released all the pressure from his limbs.

Because you've imagined in your mind once or even several times, the whole process of what you were expecting. Even reluctance to the status quo, because once people look forward to better things too much, after owning them, they will to some extent produce reluctance to the original things. ‍‍

We have a lot of things happening and doing things every day, we have expectations for things and people, and before we know it, we have experienced more things and then we don't expect so much from many things.

Anticipation refers to a longing and yearning for unknown things, moments or things in the future. When we are young, we all have curiosity and anticipation for new things, people we meet, some special festivals, etc. But now that the older I grow up and experience a lot of things, the more I feel that I don't expect a lot of things so much.

For example, when you are in a relationship, you will look forward to some festivals, anniversaries or special days, and you will expect the other party to give gifts or surprises on the same day. Before the day arrived, I was looking forward to the day coming soon, and I didn't look forward to it so much later, because there was no one who prepared a gift for you. And when we see something new, we are curious and look forward to what it will bring us.

There are many factors that lead to expectations of things and people.

Sometimes we experience more, see more, know more, and have some feelings that we don't expect so much from many things. For example, now, I don't know why I don't have expectations for some things, I just want to be down-to-earth and not get worse and worse, and I'm very content.

Every time I go home, what I want to do most is to get together as a family, eat a bland home-cooked meal, and talk and laugh as a family.

Every time I go home, I am on the road, and my heart has already returned home, wondering if the wrinkles on my parents' faces are deeper, and if my hair is whiter, I snuggle and miss it like this, one trip after another;

Last week, my friend was very excited to tell me that she could finally be reunited with her family after three years. What she wants to do most now is to hold the family puppy and talk to her mother all night like she did on the first night of the new year.

Perhaps everyone has their own sense of ritual. For example, Buried Fanhui, someone will definitely make an appointment with their high school classmates to chat about gossip together. Some people are looking forward to a fireworks; There are also people who miss their hometown food the most.

When I go home for the Chinese New Year this year, I must also hug my cat! I wasn't a person who liked small animals before, until I got up at noon more than a year ago and suddenly found that my father had bought a cat and returned. At that time, I didn't have a job, I slept with the cat every day, fed the cat delicious food, took a picture of the cat, and took all my friends home to see the cat.

When I was playing games, the cat was also sticking to me next to me, and when I was in a bad mood, the cat lay on top of me as if she had something to say to me. I stayed with the cat for more than half a year and went to work thousands of miles away, and when I wanted to be a cat, I could only watch other people's cats on the Internet. Now the cat eats and drinks spicy food at home every day, sleeps in the sun, and answers a big circle of fat.

When I go back, I must like this little piggy fiercely!

It's not just about what we look forward to, it's also about what we're afraid of, and when what you're worried about does happen, you find that you're not as scared as you imagined. I'm not afraid of everyone's jokes, the editor is most afraid of the physical education exam, it can be said that from the moment the teacher announced the assessment date, he fell into a long period of anxiety, panic all day, but when it came to the exam, the editor didn't feel what it meant to be afraid, but his heart was calm to despair, and there was only one thought in his mind - die, die, I am still a good man after hanging this subject.

When you look forward to something, you can't help but turn it over and over again and think about it over and over again, and after the beautification and processing of imagination, the original expectation of three or five points rises to ten, but when it happens, it also becomes disillusioned. For example, if you see a tempting food advertisement, you imagine that the dish should be a jade plate of delicacies with strong juice and aroma, but after tasting it, you will find that it is mediocre and unworthy of its name, then you will be happy? For example, if you beg your parents to take you out to play, but when you go out, you find that your parents are tired and don't enjoy the trip, but just barely cheer up to accompany you, will you be happy?

For example, if you first take a fancy to product A, but due to cost-effective, practical considerations and other considerations, you have to reluctantly cut your love and buy a slightly inferior similar product B home; At the same time, you are also thinking about the A who can't ask for it, and always thinks about what will happen if you bought back A, until one day, this thought can no longer be suppressed, and you finally buy A home, and you will be happy that you don't have to take it at this time"Fakes"Deceive yourself, or suddenly this is actually this" ** "But that's it?

For example, the vacation you have been looking forward to, thinking about the holiday, traveling, studying, partying and resting, as if every day can be full, fulfilling and meaningful, as long as you think of the good days after you, you will be so happy that you will be bubbling, and even now you keep working overtime and staying up late, and the K book exam is not so difficult ......to acceptBut what if you really wait until the holidays arrive? Happy? Of course, I'm still happy, but the more I take a vacation, the more congested I become, the plan is always in the soup, no one makes an appointment, and I have to be disgusted by Baba Ma Ma and lie in bed all day to death, and the imaginary happy life is like that fleeting cloud.

When you are expecting something, your attention will also be focused on the thing (or something associated with it), and it will be accompanied by a certain emotional experience; And when things really happen, your expectations drop, your attention is distracted by other aspects, and the corresponding emotions are also scattered and decreased due to the increase in your attention to things.

It seems that we are always doing things to deceive ourselves, when we buy the book, we can read it as ourselves, and when we register for the course, we can learn it by ourselves, and we ignore it after the careful selection and comparison of the previous books, and turn a blind eye after the comparison of the previous grand plans, and the full life you think is written to the end at the beginning, not to mention the happiness in anticipation, and you can still be happy when you become a joke?

The joy of anticipation and the mood of completion will not be exactly the same after the hindrance of time, and we always say that we do not forget our original intention, how many people can really do it?

The long-awaited thing happened, but people were not happy. The reason is that the waiting time is too long, and the optimal time for interest and attention has passed.

Once it happens, people's attention fades and they become burnout, and they still blame it for appearing too late, so they are not happy in their hearts.

Because the things I was looking forward to were not as perfect as I imagined, when they didn't appear, they were very looking forward to it, and when they were waiting to appear, they were very disappointed, so I was not happy that the long-awaited thing happened.

When the long-awaited thing happened as scheduled, but I couldn't be happy, it was because things didn't go as I thought, what I wanted, the world is often like this, the greater the hope, the greater the disappointment, the higher the expectation, but the greater the disappointment, so, for things, the yearning for things, the expectation should not be too high, as long as you have a normal heart, because when the long-expected thing happens, the result is not as you wish, therefore, the heart will be very lost.

Often, although something that has been long-awaited has happened, because the anticipation time is too long, the happy mood is affected by the outside world, and the happy mood weakens with the passage of time, so it really happens but does not really feel happy.

Why is the long-awaited thing happening but not happy, I answer this question as follows, sometimes it's like this, what you have been looking forward to for a long time happens, the expectation is quite high, thinking that there will be a good result, but the result is not as good as you imagined, and you are not happy after it happens, this is a common thing, so sometimes the expectation value can not be too high, the expectation value is too high, and it often disappoints you, which is why the long-awaited thing happened, but it was not happy.

Don't have a positive mentality about everything that you have been looking forward to for a long time, because if you are positive about it, then you will think that this long-awaited thing, after it happened, he did not make you feel happy, because he looked forward to it for too long, and he thought too much in his heart, then you will find that he did not succeed in the end, but it will make you more disappointed, more frustrated, and cause you to be unhappy.

Let me help you answer, what we have been waiting for a long time has happened, and we are unhappy because we have not achieved what we expected, we have not met our inner expectations, and we are not satisfied to a certain level. So it's not necessarily fun to get it at this time.

Because I looked forward to it for too long, thought about it for too long in my heart, and then got it through my own efforts, in fact, I won't be very happy for myself, because the emotion is only temporary, and I have passed that happy stage, although I got it, but it is not what I want now, it is mainly a matter of time. Everything is new or happy at the time, and it doesn't last long.