What are some jokes that make you laugh non stop?

The guy Dongzi is a non-mainstream, his home is in the city, he is tired of staying in the city, so he, wearing hole pants, dyed yellow ** head, took the steps of rubbing the devil, and traveled to the countryside. When he first entered the countryside, an old man pointed at him and said, "Alas, alas, look, there is a beggar there, you see, there are more holes in his pants than there were in his pants when I was a child!"

Dongzi was just about to refute, but the aunt next to the uncle said: "Look at what his hair looks like now, it must have been formed by long-term malnutrition!" Dongzi was just about to open his mouth to explain, but an uncle next to him interjected again

You see him walking down the aisle, constantly rubbing the ground, I guess this beggar must have had his leg broken because of theft! Dongzi: "Nima, can you still travel happily!" ”

After nine hundred and eighty-one difficulties, Tang monks and apprentices finally achieved positive results and were completed. If you come to the way: Holy monk, today I am happy to take refuge, hold on to my Buddha, and take my teaching, take the true scriptures, and have great merit, and you will be promoted to the Buddha of Zhantan merit.

Wukong, you are in trouble in the heavenly palace, I use very deep mana, pressed under the Five Elements Mountain, fortunately the natural disaster is satisfied, returned to the Buddha, and like you to hide the evil and promote the good, on the way to refine the demon and subdue the monster meritorious, the whole end and the beginning, plus you to fight to defeat the Buddha. Wu Neng, the god of water in the Tianhe River, Marshal Tianpeng, drunk and played Xian'e for the Ru Pan Tao meeting, degraded your lower realm reincarnation, like an animal, fortunately Ru remembered the lover of the human body, made evil in the Yunzhan Cave of Fuling Mountain, returned to the Great Sect, entered my Shamen, and protected the holy monk on the road, but he was stubborn, and the pornography was not lost. Sha Wujing, you are a curtain general, first because the peach will break the glass cup, degrade your nether, you fall in the quicksand river, hurt and eat man-made evil, fortunately converted to my religion, sincere respect.

There was a bai man who met God one day. God suddenly had a great heart and was going to give the man a wish. God DAO asked...

Do you have any wishes within. The man thought for a moment. I heard that cats have 9 lives.

Then please give me 9 lives...God said. Your wish has come true.

One day, the man was bored ...I want to say die, forget it. Anyway, there are 9 lives, just lying on the rails...

As a result, a train drove by...The man is still dead...Why is that?

Because that train has 10 carriages...

3."A man went to Antarctica to survey penguins, and there were 100 penguins surveyed, and the man asked the first one, what do you do every day? The penguin replied, eat and sleep and kiss, he asked the second penguin, the penguin also said, eat and sleep kiss, keep asking and asking, asked the 98th, also said eat and sleep kiss, asked the 99th, the answer is to eat and sleep kiss, asked the hundredth, that one said eat and sleep!

That person was strange and asked, they all eat and sleep and kiss, why do you eat and sleep and don't kiss? The penguin cried and said, "I'm the kiss they have to do every day.""

A woman works a night shift.

Bai, a man tailgating picture.

Du plotted wrong, Zhi woman was afraid, passed by the cemetery, and said to the grave: Dad, let me come back, open the door. The man was terrified, screaming and running.

The woman was at peace and was about to leave, when suddenly a gloomy voice came from the grave: "Girl, you forgot to bring the key again." The woman was frightened and ran away.

At this time, a tomb robber came out of the grave and said: Damn, delay my work, scare you to death! As soon as the words of tomb robbing fell, I found that an old man next to him was carving a tombstone with a chisel, curious, and asked, the old man said angrily, nnd, they carved my name wrong......The great fear of robbing the tomb, waw wow screaming and running.

The old man sneered: "Damn, dare to steal business with me, and be a little more ......tender."As he was talking, the chisel accidentally fell to the ground, and the old man was about to pick it up, when he bent down and found that the chisel was held in one hand in the grass, the old man was startled, and suddenly a voice said: "You are looking for death!"

Mess with my house number! ”。The old man is rolling down the hill!

At this moment, a scavenger crawled out of the grass, "Damn, it takes so much money to make a piece of iron."