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1. Empathy: I understand your feelings very well, and I believe that you have tried various methods in order to educate your children, but your children just can't listen to us, which makes you feel more frustrated.
2. Concretization: Can you specifically describe how the child has a big temper? And how do parents communicate with their children?
Third, the cause of the problem, and specific analysis:
A "tantrums" are effective: no matter whether the attitude towards the child is soft or hard, the child learns that the "tantrum" attitude is effective for the parents in the communication with the parents, so it will be used again and again.
Solution: Whether it is tantrums, pettiness, or crying, etc., if parents pay less attention to these behaviors, then children will naturally not use such behaviors to deal with them. But not paying attention is not the same as completely "indifferent", parents should also maintain relative concern for their children, and after the child's "mood" is over, what should be done and how to do it with the child.
b Frequent use of negative language to teach children to rebel: If parents in the family evaluate and criticize their children too much and do not give them the opportunity to express their ideas, it can also lead to children not communicating with them.
Solution: Reduce direct evaluation of children, reduce criticism of children with negative language, communicate with children on the same level, and establish a sense of trust with children first.
c. Parents are too strong and controlling: Whether it is "soft words" or "hardening", parents just want to tell their children that "you have to do what I say", which makes children feel very bad.
Solution: Accept the child, allow the child to express his or her own opinions, even if the parents of the child's expression do not approve, give the child the right to express his own opinions, and recognize that he has his own ideas, and then discuss how the problem should be solved.
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To your own leader, will you lose your temper and can't help it, hehe, it's purely bullying the small and afraid of the big.
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First of all, you must stabilize your heart, which also takes a long time, if the mood is unstable, it is easy to be impulsive and irritable, so the way to educate children is not good, to set an example and teach more than words, and be respected by children in order to educate children well.
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Everyone has moments when their emotions are out of control, but it is the characters who can control them.
Although children are young, they also need to be respected and loved. Their hearts are weak and need the protection and love of adults anytime and anywhere, otherwise their young hearts will be seriously hurt, leaving an indelible shadow in their hearts.
Adults should get along with children as friends, instead of being angry with children when they are grumpy and bullying the small.
As a parent, you must set an example for your child, learn to restrain yourself, and control your emotions, so that your child can be lively and lovely, and happy!
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Adjust your mentality, and you must control your emotions.
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This is also a headache for me, at that time I really couldn't control my emotions, and I was angry, I shouldn't be tomorrow but I didn't control it, sometimes the child is very innocent of your pressure in life or work, sometimes when you go home, it's the fuse to lose your temper directly to the child, everything is understood is not controllable, and then you still regret it, it's really difficult.
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Before giving birth to a baby, every parent has great expectations for the baby, and also vows to be a good-tempered, patient, and reasonable mother. But after the child was born, he challenged the mother's bottom line again and again, so that most mothers began to have a bad temper. Patience is also a little gone, and sometimes because of the baby's disobedience, yelling and scolding the child.
When I calm down, I look back and think that I was so wrong. So what should I do? In fact, smart parents will use the following 3 ways of mausoleum.
Many parents have caused great emotional damage to their children even though they have vented their emotions after talking about their children. When parents shout at their children, their children will appear very weak, some children will cry, and some children will pout their lips and be unhappy. When you come back to your senses, even if you are doubling down on coaxing the child, the child's psychological shadow has already been created.
When children make mistakes, it is beyond remedy, and what parents should do is not to say that they hit them. Since this is the effect, it is necessary for the child to fully understand what is wrong. First of all, you can give your child some time to learn to think, so that they can find their own mistakes.
Secondly, when children are confused and do not know what to do, parents can remind them and give their children a message content. Eventually, the children understand what is wrong, and the parents tell them what to do. Such an idea can not only calm the child's emotions, but also make the parents' emotions more stable and not let themselves lose their temper.
Every parent wants their child to be successful, but every child needs to grow up, and it is inevitable to make mistakes in daily life. If the child really does not do it right, some parents will feel that the jade is not cut and cannot be made. Only by talking about children diligently, can you become a big person after that.
But parents are not right, and blindly talking about children is also likely to have the opposite effect. The reasonable method is that when the child is incorrect, parents should guide the child correctly, let the child get rid of the wrong concept, correct the wrong consciousness, this is the way that parents should think.
Finally, I hope that all parents need to be patient when they look at their children, just like what kind of mother they want to become at that time, and insist on doing it, which is good for themselves and their children's growth path.
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I think that every time you are about to explode your emotions, you just lock yourself in the room to calm down for a while, which is a very effective way to regulate your temper.
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Maintain a good attitude, pay attention to the way of teaching Bu Qianfang, try to choose a square sedan that is easy for children to accept, try to keep a certain distance, and wait for the regret to be emotionally stable for education.
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Learn to relax, regulate your inner pressure, lower your requirements, and take a deep breath, you can regulate your temper and stop yelling at your child.
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You should restrain your mood when facing your child, and when you face your child, you also need to look at your child with an appreciative eye, and when you have emotions, you must shift your attention.
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You should let yourself restrain your emotions, don't let yourself lose your temper, and when facing your children, you must be gentle and regulate yourself by diverting attention.
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You can take a deep breath so that you can get a good condition, and you can also go for a walk in the hospital so that you don't lose your temper with your child.
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Be sure to adjust your mentality, and then you should also divert your attention and wait until you calm down before communicating and educating your child.
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After each baby is born, parents have relatively large expectations for their children, and when they are young, they really can't bear to lose their temper when they see the baby, and they are very patient. But what the child does when he grows up challenges the bottom line of the parents, so that the mother, who is more gentle, has a very irritable temper and always can't help but want to coax the child. In fact, if you want to regulate your temper, you still don't have too many expectations for your children, and sometimes it is most correct to calm down your emotions.
When encountering difficulties, you still have to communicate with your child, try to change your mood, often yelling at your child's words will hurt the child greatly, and will make the child's character very timid and cowardly, and there is no assertiveness when encountering something. Some children may have very strong self-esteem, and parents often yell at their children, which will bring a lot of shadows to the children's psychology. In this way, no matter what the child does, he is scared, and the child's growth will be very seriously harmed.
When a child makes a mistake, parents should communicate with the child correctly, to find out the reason for the child's mistake, not to scold them, this will not have any effect. The main purpose is to let the child know that he is wrong before he can correct it, first of all, to give the child a time to think, not to make the child feel lost or overwhelmed. Parents only play the role of reminding, there is no need to be nice or beaten to the child, which will make the child's emotions unable to calm down.
Parents' emotions are also very irritable, so that the child's personality will be radical anyway.
Parents want their children to become talents, and everyone can understand it. But in the process of growing up, children will inevitably make some mistakes, as long as the child does not do it right, parents should not attack the child, or do something to disappoint the child. It is still necessary to find a reasonable way, and parents must guide them correctly, so that their children can get rid of wrong concepts and change their wrong consciousness.
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Take a deep breath before yelling at your child, and tell yourself that it's normal for your child not to know, because he doesn't know how to change his course, so he is slowly changing his reputation and judging his reputation, don't be too anxious.
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Before throwing a tantrum, be sure to ask yourself how such behavior will affect your child, take a deep breath, and relax.
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You should divert your attention and do something that interests you, and wait until your emotions calm down before educating your children.
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You should think about something happy when educating your child, and you should also divert your attention before educating your child.
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Parents can't help but yell at their children, because the negative emotions of parents are relatively large, and parents can release the pressure appropriately and then communicate with their children. If the parents' emotions cannot be controlled, they must be resolved in time. You must know that in the process of life and work, everyone will have a lot of pressure, but children are always innocent.
If you want to relieve this pressure by coaxing your child, the final result will be tragic and not conducive to the healthy growth of your child.
And some children are very naughty, but no matter how much they yell, they can't solve the problem at the root. So in this case, parents must learn to understand their children. Learn to look at problems from your child's point of view, so that you can communicate with your child in a friendly way.
And there is no need to use good children's methods to improve children's attitudes towards things, sometimes children are in adolescence, and if parents use abusive methods to discipline, then the child's mood will become worse and worse.
Therefore, we must understand that some of the parents' behaviors themselves will have a great impact on the child, and at the same time that the child becomes inferior and rebellious, no matter how he wants to apologize or talk to the child, the final effect will not be too good. So cuddle the child appropriately and then make amends. Some parents don't know how to deal with it when they see their children doing something wrong, so they must be stable first.
Don't always be in a hurry to get angry, wait until you calm down and think about whether such a thing is worth getting angry about.
Parents can also try to turn their yelling or emotionless communication into laughing and chatting with their children, which can ease some of the tension. While increasing the number of times, the problems encountered by the child can also be considered from the child's point of view. Some children are very frightened and have some uneasy emotions after being yelled at by their parents.
This does not mean that children will not make mistakes in the future, but it will make children lose their sense of security, and they will not be able to feel their parents' love for them in their parents.
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We must be calm, patient, and when facing children, we must see the advantages and strengths of children, and we must strengthen the education of children's three views.
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You should adjust your emotions and try to treat your child with a calm mind, because only in this way can you not yell at your child.
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You should control your emotions, and when you have a temper, you must divert your attention and be good at discovering the strengths of your child, so that you can control it well.
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In our life, many parents are very wrong about their children's education methods, when the child has some wrong behavior, parents will fight and yell at the child, and at the same time, they always can't help but lose their temper and yell at the child. If children often face such parents, it will not only hurt their lives, but also cause some shortcomings in the child's personality.
Parents should always pay attention to their behavior and language in life, especially in families with children, parents should pay more attention to their own behavior, children's imitation ability is very strong, if the child is in this environment of being scolded by parents for a long time, not only is not conducive to their learning, but also has certain disadvantages for their lives. Parents should know that the child is an independent individual, and the child's dependence on parents is very strong, if the parents always beat and scold the child, then it will cause some damage to the child's manuscript grinding psychology, which is not conducive to the formation of their character and has a very serious impact on their future learning and life. It will also lead to a series of psychological problems in them, when children see their parents doing this, they will also imitate it, and in the process of getting along with other people, they will also scold themselves to their parents and yell at others, knowing that no one will tolerate their bad temper when they take themselves away from their parents.
It can be seen that parents and children are very harmful to children, parents can read more books in life, not only can be positive, but also have certain benefits for getting along with children, in addition, parents can also communicate with their children more, see what children need, or what they do wrong, can let children say it, parents will also correct.
Finally, parents must pay attention to their behavior in life, once they do not pay attention, the harm to the child is still very great, the child hopes to grow up healthily in a loving family environment, so that the child is very good.
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