Who s going to tell a coherent or long joke!

The following two jokes are from "The Legend of the Laughing Forest".

One. There was a mover who went to Kyoto to take the imperial examination, and the servant followed behind with his luggage.

When he walked into the wilderness, a strong wind blew off his turban and blew it to the ground.

The servant shouted, "It's landed." ”

Because "landing" sounded the same as "falling down", the master was very unhappy when he heard this, so he instructed the servant: "In the future, don't say 'landing', only 'and the first'." ”

The servant nodded in agreement, tied up his luggage, and said, "Now if you go to heaven, you will not reach the earth." ”

Two. There was a small man in the market who received a reward, and when he saw the county official for the first time, he was very restrained and insisted that the county official sit on the seat.

The county official said: "Your son and I are in the same year (in the Ming Dynasty, the township examination was called "the same year"), and it stands to reason that I should still sit down." ”

The person who was ordained widened his eyes and asked, "Are you also a dog?" ”

1. There are eleven people in the office, only three of us.

One morning, I found that a glass cup appeared on Lao H's desk, and a small turtle was raised in it. Everyone came to work one after another, and there were many speculations about this scene, saying that Lao H loves to raise flowers, why did he raise Wang Ba again?

Lao W came back from the water dispenser and sighed: It's still "who plays with what birds".

Wow - everyone laughed.

2. At noon, I feel that the glass cup containing the turtle looks more and more like the one on my table, and when I checked, it was gone, which was used by the students in the class when raising goldfish, because the goldfish died, and the glass cup was put here for me, and now it was actually taken by the old H, and I didn't even say hello.

Whoa—the crowd laughed again.

3. Two days later, in the morning.

Lao W said: Someone else gave a hare during the Chinese New Year, but no one in the family will clean it up, and it is still hanging on the wall.

Lao H answered: The rabbit is easy to clean up, you won't clean it up, I'll clean it up. Let's go to your house at noon today.

Lao Wang: When you get home and help me clean up, why do you have to eat? At noon, there wasn't enough time to ......

Afternoon. Old W: Bai kept Lao H busy, and the rabbit was cleaned up and didn't eat it.

I was reading a book, and I came back to my senses and asked, "What haven't you eaten?"

Old W: The rabbit didn't eat it!

Whoa—the crowd laughed again.

4. Lao W likes to write poems in the old style, let me transcribe them for him and say that my words are good.

Lao W: I can't practice this word in my life, I'm so old.

Seeing Lao H looking at the glass cup, he said: I will be you in a thousand years-hey, Lao H, what are you doing with that Wang Ba?

Wow - everyone laughed.

5. Old H: What about taking me over Sunday?

After a while, it seemed to say to himself: How can I say hello when I look at the old w in the future? I said, hey, you're an old w, right?

Me: Look at the two of you, the whole animal, when did you meet?

Old Han: Don't you know, we used to race, and he didn't run as fast as me. Our story is in primary school textbooks.

Whoa—the crowd laughed again.

A county magistrate with a strong accent came to the village to make a report:

Rabbits, shrimps, pig tails! Don't pickle melon, pickles are too expensive!! "

Translation: Comrades, villagers, pay attention! Don't speak, it's time for the meeting!! After the county magistrate finished speaking, the host said:"Pickles please sausage pickles! "

Translation: Now the mayor of the township is invited to speak! ）

Translation: Don't speak, I'll tell you a story...

All I know is:

A person drove after drinking and pressed the double yellow line, and the police asked: Did you drink?!

Nope"You drank! "My beer! "Beer is wine, too! ”

Excuse me, "Are whales fish?" "No".

Is a snail a cow? "No".

Is a gecko a tiger? "No".

Is beer alcohol?" "No".

Haha" "Ah, you're mad at me. Then you've pressed the double yellow line! ”

Crushed to death? ”

In a few decades, we will meet.

Sent to the crematorium, all burned to ashes.

A bunch of you, a bunch of me, no one knows anyone, all of them are sent to the countryside to make fertilizer.

1. The little couple quarreled over a trivial matter. After the quarrel, the husband felt regretful, so he asked his wife to pull a cart with two horses outside, and he said, "Why can't we move forward in unison like those two horses?" ”

The wife said angrily, "We are not two horses, because one of us is a donkey!" ”

Your joke is classic, appreciate it, thank you!