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As a modern social psychological disease, "fear of marriage" is prevalent among some school-age young people and divorcees. It should be said that marriage is indeed a major event in life, marriage makes everyone's role in the family and even society change, thus bringing pressure to the psychology of some people, when the reality of married life and the dream of romantic perfection There is a huge gap, some people begin to escape, boredom and fear is understandable. In fact, there is no one right or wrong in love, so the separation and clutch of marriage are reasonable.
The analysis of "fear of marriage" is naturally inseparable from the social psychological level, but more reasons are still in the psychological factors of the parties. On this issue, men and women are different, and the pressure on women is more on the spiritual level, such as worrying about family life after marriage, handling and coordinating relationships with other family members, doubts about the emotional loyalty of their husbands, etc.; Men are mainly anxious about their own marriage, or they lose confidence in themselves because of the success of the other party's career, and some even go to sinking. To marry or not to marry is a personal freedom, to choose to divorce or to join is also a human right, we live in a kaleidoscopic world, can not force everyone's value orientation to be completely consistent, but marriage is an indispensable and important chapter of a complete life.
Especially when divorce is about to hurt innocent children, the choice of marriage and the survival of the family should also be a social responsibility. Reality is harsh, life is realistic, and when everyone starts to fall in love, they should be full of an emotion of "a strong man is gone and will never return". There is a song that sings "The most romantic thing is that we grow old together", it should be said that this kind of romance will always exist in the whole life of you and me, and it is not an unattainable myth.
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In the last issue, we talked about what are the main reasons for fear of marriage, and in this issue, I will tell you what to do to overcome fear of marriage when you encounter fear of marriage, so as to harvest a happy marriage!
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If you want to overcome your fear of marriage, you need to do not let the family environment affect you, and at the same time, don't be picky, what suits you is the best.
1. Don't let your family environment affect you.
In fact, many times because individuals have been divorced or hurt by their parents' generation in the process of growing up, then they yearn for marriage and have an instinctive resistance, so it is difficult for them to integrate into the new life. In this regard, it is necessary for the joint efforts of the family and society to heal the psychological scars.
2. Don't be picky, what suits you is the best.
Many women always hope that their partners can be perfect enough because they have high expectations for marriage, and in such a mentality, it is actually easy to miss their own. Don't have too many unrealistic fantasies, so it will be difficult to find a suitable partner for you, and let yourself linger outside the door of marriage all the time.
The roots of marriage-phobia
Behind the fear of marriage is the high demand for the quality of marriage. There are just as many people who are forced to marry and those who are afraid of marriage, and the majority of them are men. Many women believe that they must marry off before the age of 30, and there are many ways to do this, but what they all have in common is a lack of security in marriage.
There are many superficial reasons for fear of marriage, and a considerable part of them is because they do not sincerely want to get married, but because they are mostly pressured from outside. For example, the partner was introduced by relatives and friends, and there is a lack of emotional foundation, or the marriage is due to the strong request of the partner, either explicitly or implicitly. Others may be ill-intentioned by the bad marital experiences of their loved ones or friends around them.
For marriage-phobic people, if they don't want to pursue the doctrine of not getting married, they can first ask themselves to determine whether they love each other, and then plan their married life before marriage, and communicate more with each other to overcome their fear of marriage.
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Longing for intimacy.
People who are afraid of marriage and childbirth may be fearful of long-term commitment and responsibility, but they still crave an intimate relationship with someone. Love is an emotional connection and a desire to support each other for them, and they may still want to find a partner who understands and accepts them.
2.Find support.
Find friends and family around you and let them know what you think and feel. This can provide emotional support and help you better cope with the difficulties of fear of marriage and childbearing, and these people can help you find people who think like you and give you some support and advice.
3.Seek freedom and independence.
People who are afraid of marriage and childbearing may place more emphasis on personal freedom and independence, and they may not be willing to be bound by the responsibilities of marriage and childcare. This does not preclude their desire to have a free and fulfilling love relationship, and they may be more inclined to form a non-traditional relationship model with their partner, emphasizing the needs and autonomy of the knowing individual.
4.Explore new options.
People who are afraid of marriage and childbearing may try to explore other forms of love relationships, such as non-marital partnerships or choose not to have children. They may be more focused on personal growth and pursuits, hoping to find balance and fulfillment in love.
5.Know your fears.
Try to understand your own fears about marriage and childbearing**, which could be worries about uncertainty, fear of future responsibilities, etc. Understanding the root causes of fears can help you cope with and overcome them.
6.Understanding and support.
For people who are afraid of marriage and childbearing, understanding and support are very important. They crave a relationship with a partner who understands and accepts their fears, and this understanding and support can reduce their anxiety and make them more willing to invest in a love relationship.
7.Find a partner who shares similar values.
Looking for someone who thinks like you, freelancers or travel enthusiasts who are not married and have children, may have an easier time finding a partner who is the right fit for you. There are four aspects of a girl's liking of boys, she will remember the things the boy tells very clearly, treat the boy she likes more patiently and gently, and will continue to harass and contact the boy when she breaks up, and defends the boy when others count or criticize the boy.
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Fear of marriage is a psychological phenomenon that produces fear and resistance to marriage. To overcome fear of marriage, here are some things you can try:
1.Dig deeper into your fear**: Try to understand why you have fears about marriage, whether it's because you're worried about the unknown, or if you're influenced by family, friends, or societal pressures? Understanding fear** can help you find a solution.
2.Boost self-confidence: Improve your self-confidence and believe that you can meet the challenges in your marriage. You can boost your confidence by learning new skills and expanding your social circle.
3.Set reasonable expectations: Setting realistic expectations for your marriage and avoiding high expectations for your marriage can reduce your inner stress.
4.Improve communication: Communicate deeply with your partner to share each other's thoughts, expectations, and fears. In this way, both parties can get to know each other better and face the problems in the marriage together.
5.Adaptation: Don't rush into marriage, try living with your partner for a while, gradually adapting to each other's living habits and getting ready for married life.
6.Seek professional help: If fear of marriage is seriously affecting your life, it is advisable to seek help from a counsellor. They can help you analyze the root causes of your fears and provide professional advice and**.
7.Maintain personal space: Maintaining a certain amount of personal space in your marriage and engaging in personal interests and activities can help maintain personal growth and attractiveness.
8.Build a support network: Build a good support network with family and friends who can help and support you when you are struggling.
9.Maintain an optimistic and positive mindset: Learn to adjust your mindset to see the positive aspects of your marriage and believe in your ability to cope with challenges.
The most important thing is to believe that you can overcome your fear of marriage and face married life bravely. Everyone's situation is different, so you may need to try different methods to find the solution that works best for you.
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1. Understand your crux first.
First of all, you have to find out why you are afraid of marriage, so that you can start with the symptoms and slowly ** marriage phobia.
2. Establish a correct view of marriage and love.
Make your view of marriage and love more mature, think clearly about what marriage means to you, whether you are really ready, and don't let external factors affect your subjective consciousness.
3. Try to run in before marriage.
Try to live together for a while before getting married or learn how other happy families live, and slowly clear the fog of marriage and dispel fears.
4. Communicate more.
The closer people get to the wedding, the more serious it is, because they will feel a sense of confusion and fear of their new life. At this time, both men and women are required to communicate more, not to be afraid of quarrels, and it will be more effective to bring the problem to the surface than to hide it in the heart. When all is said and done, you will find that marriage is actually not so terrible.
5. Build psychological expectations.
Everyone will have a yearning for the future life, such as wanting to have a house and a car, being able to have no worries about food and clothing, etc., but when building psychological expectations, it is necessary to combine reality. For example, if you have average economic conditions and hope that you can eat, drink and not go to work in the future, that is out of reality, which will lead to your own emptiness and aggravate your fear of marriage. Therefore, when building future expectations, we should combine them with reality, and work hard here, so that life will become better and better, and married life will become full and happy.
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It takes time and effort to overcome the fear of marriage, and here are some suggestions:
Self-exploration: Understand your reasons and concerns about marriage phobia, and reflect on whether these beliefs are reasonable and realistic. Through reflection and exploration, you can better understand your values, expectations, and needs.
Build a healthy relationship perspective: Revisit the definition of marriage and partnership to understand that marriage is not a static pattern, but can be shaped according to personal values and needs. Develop a positive relationship mindset that marriage can be a beautiful, supportive, and growing relationship.
Seek support: Share your fear of marriage with someone you trust, such as a family member, friend or counselor. They can provide understanding, support and advice to help you cope with the fear of marriage.
Learn more about marriage: Learn about the realities and challenges of marriage, as well as tips and strategies for maintaining a good marriage, by reading books, attending premarital education classes, or talking to married people. This will help you get a more complete picture of your marriage.
Self-growth and self-confidence development: Develop self-confidence and independence through self-growth and personal development. Invest time and focus on developing your interests, career, or other important areas so that you can be more independent and content in your marriage.
Face your fears gradually: Face your fears gradually, taking small steps. For example, attending weddings or marriage ceremonies, communicating with married people, learning about their marriage experiences, etc. This gradual exposure can help you gradually adjust to and overcome the fear of marriage.
Seek professional help: If you feel unable to overcome your fear of marriage on your own, seeking help from a professional counsellor is a good option. They can provide personalized support and guidance to help you deal with marital phobia and develop coping strategies that work for you.
Remember, everyone's feelings and experiences are unique, and overcoming fear of marriage requires a time and approach that varies from person to person. It is important to be patient with yourself and provide yourself with the necessary support and love.
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Phobia of marriage is a social phenomenon, and the reasons for its formation should first be analyzed. There are many marriage-phobia disorders caused by a loss of faith in marriage. Therefore, the cause of marriage phobia needs to be analyzed first.
The first stage of psychology is to use psychoanalytic methods to analyze the causes of fear of marriage; In the second stage, the patient is used to analyze his cognitive and behavioral problems. The third stage is deliberate training. 1. Looking back on my own growth and life experience, there will be many successes that convince me. Reflecting on your successes gives you a boost of confidence.
2. Look at the classmates and colleagues around you, many of them are not as good as yourself. But they excel in marriage and in life. Therefore, we should also believe that we can handle things in our own life and work.
3. Seek help from others. Some things may be scary to a single person, but the manuscript may be a piece of cake to others. Therefore, he is good at communicating with others, good at asking others, and can also help himself overcome his fear.
Adjust your mindset and you will find that marriage is not as terrible as you think.
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In fact, many people will have this phenomenon when they are afraid of marriage. Because when it comes to talking about marriage, it's not so natural.
The first point is that after getting married, there are more responsibilities
Before many people get married, they can do whatever they want when they fall in love, without any scruples, but it really comes to the point of talking about marriage. On the contrary, I really don't know if I can be called a qualified good husband or wife, which many people have. Therefore, when you don't have absolute consideration and thought, marriage becomes a burden for you, and you will live a very uncomfortable life.
Therefore, this is also the current generation of young people who do not want to marry very early. The mention of marriage creates reasons for fear of marriage. So, when you make up your mind, you have full confidence and preparation.
You can get married, if you don't think about it well, don't make a good decision, don't get married easily, this is also irresponsible to both parties!
There are many things to be responsible for.
The second point is how to get along after getting married
Many people yearn for what happens after marriage, but they haven't really considered whether the way two people get along after marriage can still be the same as when they are in love, or whether they get along in a different way. After marriage, in a legal sense. You are legally married, so you can't be the same as before.
Do whatever you want, you have to love your wife or your husband. You have to think about him, not for yourself. Therefore, a good mode of getting along will make your married life better, if you don't have a good model, you won't be too comfortable after marriage, so this is also a very important reason for fear of marriage!
How to get along. The third point is how to live when you get married
How should two people live after marriage. Who is in charge of the money, who makes the idea, who listens, many people will have contradictions in this regard, and these will inevitably happen when they get married. So. This is also a headache.
Grocery shopping. The above is the main reason why you feel afraid of marriage, I hope it can help you, if you can, please take the trouble, thank you.
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