Let s talk about whether it is important to get married, right?

Door-to-door is important. From the ideological concept to the economic level, the two parties are at a relatively consistent level, there is less friction after marriage, the family is harmonious and happy, and the future will be happier; The gap between the concepts and economic level of the two sides is particularly large, it is more miserable, and the work matters should be considered during working hours, and after returning home, there will be endless bickering because of different concepts, which will be more tiring. Generally, the woman's family is rich, and the poor party is more inferior, which proves that the family is more important, who doesn't want to be as rich as you?

Right. It's like one with your feet and the other with your bent over, are you tired? The party at a lower level will feel that the other party dislikes them at every turn, and will raise trivial matters to the height of family dignity.

When the high-class party is in an advantageous situation, you have to protect the glass heart of you and your whole family everywhere, how does it sound like that familiar logic: I am weak and I am reasonable? But not absolutely. ‍‍

It is very important to be right, because the similarity of the material foundation will bring about the similarity of the growth environment, the similarity of the growth environment, the similarity of the cognition of the same thing, and the similarity of cognition, so as to ensure the similarity of the worldview, outlook on life, and values, and the similarity of the worldview and outlook on life, so that they will not be haggard by some things that they think have nothing to do with themselves but the other party thinks that they should be related. At the very least, the family can avoid the drag brought by the party who has too poor understanding of the material basic ideology, and can avoid the trouble brought by the super-born family to themselves. The words of the ancestors are very simple, but they are extremely generalized and summarized, four words, telling us that for the principle of marriage, whoever violates this principle will be punished by this principle.

Isn't it true that the two people who are together are quite sympathetic, appreciate each other and agree with each other? What your parents give you has never really belonged to you. Shouldn't the real family be two people working together to encourage each other after being together, two people recognize each other, and finally through the efforts of two people to make progress together, truly obtain what belongs to each other and the greatest sense of identity and trust in each other.

A person who wants to be with you and wants to marry you must be because you have a special shining point that makes him unable to take his eyes off it, and I feel that I am inferior to you, and I want to make myself better and be able to be your enemy. It is the appreciation and liking of the other party, and it should also be the belief in the other party, believing that the other party can bring you real happiness, which is the sense of identity and trust of the door-to-door pair. It is never what you bring to you at home that you covet, but what you can bring as a person.

Personally, I think it's very important.

Very important, very important, very important. I have said important things three times, and the following are my personal experiences. My brother is rural, my sister-in-law is urban.

If only the two of them were fine, there would be no contradictions. If you are with my parents, you can't live for a day. First, the toilet:

My sister-in-law stays in the countryside for a maximum of one day at a time, and the toilets in the countryside are dry toilets, so she has no way to go to them. Second, shower: There is a water tank on the top of my shower room, and the boiling water can only be bathed by pouring it, and the continuous boiling water can be used to take a shower, and the washing is very uncomfortable intermittently.

Third, communication: My mother can't speak Mandarin, and I especially want to communicate with my daughter-in-law, every time I send a WeChat voice, my sister-in-law replies: "I don't understand what you say", my mother is very lost, sad, she can't speak Mandarin.

Now my sister-in-law is pregnant and has no money to hire a nanny, so she wants my mother to take care of her. My mother has never been out of the countryside in her 60s, she can't use gas, she can't cook (my family only eats noodles and doesn't stir-fry vegetables and make soup), and she can't speak Mandarin. My mom and my sister-in-law are both worried, what should we do?

Can you blame my mom for not knowing Mandarin and not cooking? Can't blame it! She has been in the countryside all her life, and she has been dealing with the yellow earth all her life.

Can you blame my sister-in-law for not being able to adapt to the countryside? Can't blame it! She was born in the city, she has never seen a dry toilet, she doesn't know how to boil water for bathing, and she doesn't know that three meals a day in the countryside is so simple.

The two sides are out of place, it's really embarrassing, alas!

I think there are three aspects to the right door. The first is the education received in the past, including academic education and family education. The second is the worldview, outlook on life, and values that we now believe in.

The third is the development trajectory and direction of efforts under high probability in the future. Just like college classmates, even if there is a huge disparity in family background, if they have common interests, similar views, compatible personalities, and will work hard in one direction, it may not be impossible to combine. Education can change a person.

People who are scholarly or academically good are more reliable than nouveau riche families or losers. From ancient times to the present, women who focus on the family do not marry well, and the class will fall rapidly. Phoenix men are backward in concepts and habits, such as asking their daughter-in-law to give birth to a male baby and keep women's morality.

But they have received modern education, they are still learning, and their concepts can still be improved. If you are illiterate or a ruffian from a strange family, even if you are an upstart, it is not a good choice for women who have been reading books for many years. Education changes not only the level of knowledge, but also the way of thinking and the trajectory of development.

Appearance and temperament, family conditions, cultural level, these three points are the internal causes of a person's external performance in society, which point is strong will become their own self-confidence ** and get more resources of the bargaining chips, the three points are almost the right pair, of course, the relatively strong point can also make up for the relatively poor point to achieve the overall balance. Personally, I think that the cultural level can be replaced by learning ability or intelligent talent, which is why knowledge changes fate, only this one is the most likely to be artificially transformed, of course, the knowledge here is not book knowledge in the narrow sense, but people living in the world can make themselves feel happier and happier all the things they don't understand. Back to the question itself, the right match is actually the opposite of complementary advantages.

Complementary strengths The first few years may be stumbling, but the later Pareto goes, the more room for improvement, the smoother the road to marriage will be; The first few years of a marriage will be smooth sailing, but due to the excessive pursuit of consistency and lack of complementarity, the further Pareto goes, the less room for improvement, the greater the likelihood of problems. If your career is growing by leaps and bounds, try to find someone who complements each other's strengths, and the initial stumbling will be offset by the rapid growth of achievements; If your life is uneventful for the foreseeable future, it may be a better option to find someone who is the right person.

I have a supportive attitude towards "the right door", maybe many post-80s people are dissatisfied when they hear the "right door", thinking that it is a feudal backward thought, I also think so during the rebellious period of my youth, but now I have changed, I am a post-90s generation. At least I think so now, the right family is still very important, the times are developing, the society is progressing, the parents' love for their children remains unchanged, and they all hope that their daughter's life after marriage will not be worse than their own care. Many people say that with the love of the other half, they will live a very happy life, but I think that material life determines the construction of spiritual civilization, and a good living environment will have a good state of life, because I have seen several unhappy marriages around me that have led to family infighting due to poor living standards, and as far as I know, they love each other in their pre-marital couple life.

Although it is not very common for daughters to support their parents, once the children are supported together, the son-in-law will hurt the woman's parents, so both men and women should accept a traditional idea or a new idea at the same time, and the thoughts of both men and women and their families are also part of the family.

Is it important to be a good match in marriage?

It is really very important, because marriage is not only a matter of two people, but also a matter of two families, so marriage must be the right person, so that you can harvest more happiness and your married life will be more harmonious.

You can find that those couples with very different family backgrounds, after getting married, they are not happy at all, because they have a big gap in life, and when they get along with each other, there will be some conflicts. Therefore, the door-to-door pair is extremely important for marriage, because the door-to-door pair represents the family background of both parties, the strength is equal, and the three views of both parties are relatively consistent, so that when communicating, it will be smoother and life will be more harmonious.

If two people are particularly in love, but the family backgrounds of the two people are very different, it is best not to consider marriage at this time, because even if they are married, the two people will not necessarily live, especially happy, this is like many poor girls married into a wealthy family, two people love each other very much, but they are not happy at all, because they can not be the right household, the family background is too different, and there are great differences in some habits, so when everyone gets along, There will also be a lot of contradictions, so I don't want you to find a partner who is too different from your family's back pants, because that will make you suffer a lot of grievances.

Everyone yearns for their respect in marriage, so when you choose another half, you must choose a family with your own strength, so that you can get more compliance, if your other half is a person with a very different family background, then you will encounter a lot of problems in your married life, because the two of you have a lot of differences in life, and there will be differences in some consumer concepts, so I hope you will choose marriage. You must be serious about your own future, so that you can become the happiest person in the world.

Significant. The first thing is family culture, and then it is the economic hidden sales conditions. Because of the difference in living environment and living conditions, it will also lead to different views on people and things in the future and different views on the uproar in the state, and these views and opinions become the habits of a person or a family, and this habit is difficult to change.

It's like you don't like to do something, and I believe that few people can force you to. Only if two people have the same growth background and lifestyle, they will live together very harmoniously, if they are too far apart, no matter how good the relationship is, it will be diluted by these trivial things.

Most people in marriage pay attention to the right family, but in fact, they pay attention to the so-called right family, not only family conditions. It is also very important to be a good match in the spiritual aspect. The spiritual aspect actually refers to the following.

The first spiritual aspect of the door refers to the fact that two people have considerable learning. This is very important, because with the same or equivalent education, then there will not be much difficulty in communication, because everyone knows what the other person is saying and can understand the implicit meaning of the other person's language. Therefore, for both husband and wife, tacit understanding is very important, and the most important thing in the cultivation of tacit understanding is to have considerable knowledge, so that they can have a common language.

The second point is the three views, which should be roughly the same. The three views are actually the value system, some people think that the head can get rich, and some people think that they can get rich with knowledge. If the three views of two people are inconsistent, then when building a family together, there will be theoretical deviations, and they will think that what the other party says is problematic, and this situation will lead to the separation of two people, and may even lead to the failure of marriage.

The third point, the spiritual door-to-door relationship actually refers to the fact that two people have a common language, have roughly the same three views, and another is to have the same life goals. This is also very crucial, because having roughly the same goals in life will be in life. There are measures to access the network to make this family even better.

If the direction of struggle is the same, then it is easier to move towards the result you want.

In marriage, the spiritual home is very important, and the material is also very important. The formula for marital happiness is that two people are evenly matched. If there is a huge difference in the strength of two people, the strong party can maintain the face of the other party, or the weak party can not be afraid of external rumors, then the marriage can be maintained.

But in reality, both of these points have stumped many people. Aunts and uncles are one such example. When I was young, my aunt talked about a boyfriend, who was very good-looking, and my aunt liked it very much.

When talking about marriage, the grandfather disagreed, on the grounds that the boy's family had no money. Grandpa was a cadre in an agency when he was young, and his family was relatively well-off, and she never suffered hardships or fatigue since she was a child. My aunt wanted to marry him, so in the end, my grandfather didn't fight his daughter.

In order to make his daughter suffer less, the grandfather bought a house for his aunt and introduced him to a job. The two are also very affectionate after marriage. Three years later, my uncle had just been promoted to manager, and my aunt was pregnant at the time.

From this time on, my uncle often did not go home, on the grounds that he was out for entertainment. Of course, my aunt was not at ease, so she wandered around my uncle's company, and once, she really saw him walking into the hotel with other women in his arms. The aunt was so angry that she fainted, was taken to the hospital, and the child was gone.

Later, when he learned that the truth was revealed, his uncle became angry and blamed him: "If your family has no money, who will marry you." I've had enough of your family's eyes after so many years.

In the end, my aunt regretted it and divorced resolutely. Therefore, in marriage, it is really important for two people to be a good match.