Why do children always like to work against you? What exactly went wrong?

The child likes to do it against you, and feels that some of the things you say do not conform to the child's ideas, because the child's inner thoughts are relatively fragile and naïve, but the parents' ideas are very mature, so the disagreement between the two people will form an antagonism.

Personally, I think that the reason why children always like to work against themselves is that when the child's ideas conflict with ours, it means that the child has his own ideas and is very assertive, and has his own judgment ability, so I personally think that it may be that we do wrong to the child, so that the child will do it with us.

On the one hand, it may be that the child's rebellious period has arrived, so he wants to work against his parents. On the one hand, it may be that you often belittle your child and disapprove of his approach.

I believe that many parents have had such an experience, if you let your child go east, he has to go west, if you let him go west, he has to go east, and every day he will do it against you, he will often put the word "no" on his lips, and he will lose his temper.

As you get older, this phenomenon becomes more and more obvious, especially at the age of 2-4 years, and this phenomenon can make you feel embarrassed or even overwhelmed.

Many parents still don't understand that in fact, this is a normal phenomenon that children have to experience when they grow up, and it is not a sign that he has become "bad", which requires the patience of parents to guide and educate.

Enter the rebellious period of growth

Children like to work against their stupid parents, and no matter what their parents say, they always want to refute, to rebel and challenge authority. One of the reasons for this is that the child has entered a rebellious period.

During the rebellious phase, the child considers himself a mature adult who can take responsibility for himself and longs to be free from the protection and control of his parents. Therefore, when parents preach to their children, they often show disobedience and rejection of parents.

The child feels right, and the parents don't want to understand

A child's heart is innocent. Unlike adults, children's eyes are the most able to find "beauty". When children share with their parents, some parents are willing to look at the problem from the child's point of view and are willing to give the child "the same **" to protect the child's little beauty, when some parents see the child's innocent eyes, they will ignore the child very wisely, and even ruthlessly dismantle the child, inject the child with maturity that is not suitable for his age, and will let the child lose his childhood prematurely!

In fact, some children are trying to "resist" the oppression of their parents, some want to win the attention of their parents, and some parents do not pay attention to their children for so long that they cannot find a sense of existence, so the children are deliberately screwed in the wrong direction.

Always discipline your child

Sometimes the child will be angry with the child when he makes a mistake or does something he is not satisfied with, thinking that the child is doing too badly, but in this way, he will always be angry with the child, and the child will be numb, and he will not feel bad about the scolding of your companion, and he will do what he should do.

Your child's attitude towards you will make you feel that your child is disrespectful to you, and you will be more dissatisfied with your child's appearance, so when you see your child doing something, it will always act like your child owes you.

<> "The more forbidden it is, the more it is getting harder, why do children always work against me?"

It's time for the "rebellious period"?

Children will go through three rebellious periods in their growth, the "baby rebellious period" at the age of 2-3;

"childhood rebellious period" for 6-8 year olds; 2-18 years old "adolescent rebellious period".

The White Bear Effect – Children are more rebellious.

Ask the participants to imagine anything running wild, but don't imagine a white bear. Result ginseng.

The thoughts of the followers appeared strongly**, and soon a white bear appeared in his mind.

When we say to our children, don't run! What the child hears is Run! 」；

When we say to our children, don't yell! , the child will scream louder;

When we say to our child, don't touch it! , the child wants to pick it up and touch it.

The more you don't want to crack something, the more it will occupy your mind.

The stronger the idea of correction, the stronger the echo of the contrast the child feels.

This is also the reason why parents don't let their children do one thing, but he gets more and more energetic.

Smart Parents – Do this every day.

1.Give your child limited options.

State objective facts + give the child a choice.

For example, we are ready to go out now, and there is a long way on the road, so we have to go to the toilet before going out. Do you go to the bathroom first, or do I go first?

This way of communication is positive, simple and effective, in line with the characteristics of children's cognitive and psychological development, when we focus on how to make children do better together, rather than doing it for him and ordering him to do it, the child's enthusiasm will increase, and parenting will become easier.

2.Involve children in everyday life: Promote a sense of self-worth.

What we need to do is reduce confrontation and create an environment where children can take care of themselves, for example:

a.Add a pedal under the sink so that the child can wash up and down freely without the need for the parent to drive the wash;

b.Use a small water bottle to make it easier for children to hold their hands and pour water by themselves, without parents reminding them to drink water;

c.Install a low hook in the entrance door, and the child can directly take off the winter hat and coat and hang it up;

d.By reducing the amount of clothes stored in the closet, it will be easier for your child to manage his belongings and make better choices about what to wear today.

3.Freedom is not indulgence, discipline must be moderate.

For things that will threaten the safety of their children's lives, parents should repeatedly clarify the rules.

For example, when you go out, you must hold your parents' hands, don't play with lighters, don't put your hands in the hole of the socket, and so on.

When taking your child to a museum or visiting a friend, you also need to inform your child in advance of what is okay and what is not allowed.

Do have rules in your heart and act fearfully.

As for those things that will not cause significant personal safety to the child, the child can be appropriately responsible for the consequences. For example, he wears his shoes backwards, but he insists on going out. We can respect our child's decision and let him take responsibility for the consequences.

Because such children are more rebellious, they always feel that what you let them do is wrong, so they always work against you.

Because the child's heart is very rebellious and disrespectful to his parents. Parents are advised not to spoil their children and learn to communicate gently.

If your child is always working against you, it means that your child has his own ideas, and he will feel that there is something wrong with your approach. Secondly, the child may want to get your attention, which means that you may not have time to spend with the child during this time, and the child has a little opinion about you.

Although reasoning is an effective method of education in many cases, in some cases, children may behave disobediently. There are several reasons for this:

1.Age and cognitive level: Children with hail are different in age, cognitive level, and experience than adults. As a result, children may not be able to understand or relate to the truths that adults take for granted.

2.Lack of adequate communication: Sometimes, adults may not fully understand their child's thoughts and feelings, resulting in poor communication. In this case, the child may become resistant to the adult's reasoning.

3.Emotional factors: When children are emotional, they may resist the reasoning of adults. In this case, it is necessary to calm the child's emotions first, and then communicate after Danfan's emotions are stable.

4.Fatigue and stress: Your child may have negative emotions due to fatigue, study pressure, or other daily chores. In this case, they may resist the teachings of adults.

5.Rebellious psychology: When children grow up, they sometimes have rebellious psychology. They may deliberately go against the teachings of adults in order to show their independence.

6.Lack of proper guidance: Sometimes, when adults reason with their children, they may simply make demands and commands without giving specific advice and guidance. In this case, the child may feel that he or she is not being supported enough, which can lead to resistance.

To solve this problem, adults need to pay attention to the needs and feelings of the child, improve communication skills, and provide specific advice and guidance when reasoning. At the same time, it is necessary to respect the child's growth process, give appropriate guidance, and help them learn self-discipline and responsibility.

Don't trust the child. Many parents have this cognitive misunderstanding, and they think that if we ignore our children, we will destroy them. Children are likely to kill people and set fires, and be lawless.

Parents manage their children every day and worry about their children, and this mode of getting along continues, and the result is that children outsource this part of their own management functions to their parents. The child's self-management ability is weakened, and it is not even cultivated. Therefore, many children have no motivation to learn and are not proactive, which is the result of excessive substitution by their parents.

2. Seeing children as machines without emotions and feelings. Many parents especially like obedient children, hoping that their children will obey their words, don't talk back, don't refute, parents give instructions, and children just do what they say. Treat children like machines.

She is to obey my commands. Otherwise, you will be beaten. We are emotionally isolated from our children at this time, and many of our children's problems are caused by their parents' improper parenting methods.

3. Parents regard themselves as gods and rarely show their true selves in front of their children. Many parents have high moral standards for themselves, want to behave perfectly in front of their children, completely ignore their own needs and feelings, and are willing to sacrifice themselves for their children. Ask yourself not to have emotions, not to lose your temper, and want to be a perfect parent.

But the result is not only a lot of pressure on the child's heart, but also exhaustion himself. Communication is the collision of prophecies, which is directly manifested in the exchange and exchange of information, but because of the different communication methods and values, many communication collisions are sparks, contradictions, and problems.

In Chinese family relationships, most parents regard themselves as nurturers and guides, leading them to ignore the fact that their children are still independent individuals.

Children are in the social network, the relationship is complex, and the environment they face is completely different from the environment faced by their parents, so they strongly show their own values in the communication with their children. one's own understanding of social relations. That is to say, if they do not communicate from the perspective of their children, and because their children may have material or spiritual dependence or dependence on their parents, even if they have their own social values, they cannot get the approval of their parents, resulting in blocked communication and their own boundaries being occupied, which will cause problems, and they will not be able to communicate smoothly over time, so they are simply unwilling to communicate.

Thank you.

As long as it's not adolescence bumping into menopause, it's easy to do. Otherwise, one is stubborn and stubborn, the other is stubborn and stubborn, and the tip of the needle is against Maimang, there is no solution and no speech. Okay, let's talk about the solution.

First of all, parents should understand the physical and mental characteristics of their adolescent children. Adolescent children are rebellious, easily excited, lose their temper, do not listen to the correct opinions and suggestions of others, and do not want teachers and parents to preach. It will get tired of studying, affect its academic performance, and even go astray, lose itself, and lose confidence in learning and life.

These children are addicted to mobile phones and games, and in serious cases, they may also have psychological problems, affect their physical and mental health, and ruin a better future.

Secondly, targeted education is carried out according to the characteristics of the child. Parents should fully realize that adolescence is the stage that children will inevitably go through, and it is the initial manifestation of children's maturity and independence. During this period, we should be more tolerant of children's alternative behaviors, and we should not blindly oppose and reject them.

Be patient with your child's education, and never be too hasty, simple and rude. It is best to let children open up to their parents, learn to be friends with their children, and reduce antagonism, so as to help children get out of the predicament of adolescence. Parents should give their children more support and encouragement, strengthen positive guidance, and use more examples, children have their own judgment ability, once the right thoughts, all problems will be solved.

Third, what should parents pay attention to in the face of adolescent children. Parents should help their children go through adolescence smoothly, and they can not blame their children for their problems or even mistakes, but can empathize and understand their children more, which is conducive to communication and education, and will receive good results. Parents should not kidnap their children with too much affection and morality.

Otherwise, the child will not listen to you and will not understand, it will only intensify the conflict, affect the relationship, and will not achieve any effect. Parents must respect their children's privacy, maintain their children's self-esteem, give them a certain amount of room to move, allow children to make mistakes, and allow children time to correct their mistakes. In short, parents should have patience and confidence, think of more ways to educate, and neither rush nor let it go.