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Impulsive and irritable, he often does things without thinking about the consequences. Narrow-minded, unable to understand their own shortcomings and shortcomings. When you are accused by others, you should not be angry at first, but you should consider whether what they say is right or not, and whether you are like this.
Then judge the purpose of their accusation against you. If it's for your own good, then you should accept it with an open mind. If it's just sarcastic about you and attacking you by blaming you for your shortcomings, then anger is also due.
Understandable. But I still advise you to be calm and calm in everything. Don't get angry because of a few accusations from others, it doesn't do you any good, but let others see the joke.
Thinking that if you are angry, others will know about your weakness.
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Suspicious, take yourself too seriously, in fact, other people don't pay attention to you at all, empathy, you think about which people around you are more concerned about, I guess there will be no more than two.
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This kind of person is very strong on the outside, but very fragile on the inside.
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Life is just a few decades More than tens of thousands of days You don't need to care so much about other people's opinions, just be yourself, others discuss you to show that you are still valuable, when others forget you, no one cares about you if you want to worry, don't worry, be the most true self.
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I often think crankily because of some trivial things in life.
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People who can't really recognize their own mistakes.
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ยทยทยท Let's be calm. When you are angry, think about whether the other person is doing the right thing and whether you are doing the right thing.
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Don't be self-centered and do whatever you want.
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Try to calm yourself and relax to ease.
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I ask the penguins I'm going to ten o'clock.
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Accusatory personalities are most afraid of others pointing out their mistakes.
Accusatory people have a hard time admitting their mistakes, and even if they know they're wrong, they don't want to admit it, and even if they do, they feel particularly ashamed to speak.
Accusatory people want to defend against the feeling that "I'm wrong" and can avoid being wrong by emphasizing that it's someone else's fault. By pointing out the bad things in others, you can avoid being bad about me. When "it's all your fault" and "it's all your fault", there's nothing to do with me.
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The accusatory personality is most afraid of: loss and grievance.
They are very accusatory, and as soon as something bad happens, they start nagging and blaming others.
They are very reasonable, they think they are very reasonable, their mouth cannon skills are full of lethality, making you feel that you have done something unreasonable, and it seems that all the mistakes he thinks are up to you.
As long as you don't have the slightest bit of what he wants, you can feel the rain coming, like a tornado, turning your world upside down.
They are very sensitive to your shortcomings and shortcomings, they are difficult to perceive your strengths, and they feel far more negative emotions than the social average.
It is difficult for them to admit that they are accusatory. On the contrary, they are adept at labeling themselves with positive moral labels, such as:
1. Straightforward. 2. Be upright.
3. Be careful and careful.
4. For your own good.
5. I have low emotional intelligence and can't speak.
Accusatory personalities are essentially egocentric, and they tend to have a moral mask.
I am not omnipotent, I can't do everything perfectly, but loving myself and accepting myself is the best thing I can do.
If you don't have to agree with unwarranted accusations, you won't hurt.
Some accusations are not your fault.
This is his problem, and you are not responsible for it.
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The accusatory personality is most afraid of meeting the same people and being blamed by others.
Blaming personality disorder, in fact, if you look closely, you will find that they are usually in a "strong" state, even if they perceive that they have a problem or a mistake, they may be strong to abandon responsibility. Therefore, people with a blaming personality will attach the psychological characteristics of evading responsibility, to put it bluntly, they belong, they are right to ignore me, they are strong and three points, giving people a momentum of not admitting defeat (I don't admit my mistakes, I think I'm right), and being reasonable will directly be strong and unforgiving, and directly magnify the shortcomings of others.
But the more people who like to blame and escape, the more it can show that their hearts are not strong enough and very fragile, because people who are really strong in their hearts will not choose to escape, but it is difficult for accusation-type people to admit that they are wrong, after all, it puts a lot of pressure on him.
Summary: Blaming others is actually a defense against his own inner vulnerability.
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The first time I've heard of the accusatory personality.
Let go of your definition of yourself first.
Let's start by looking at how your problem occurred.
There are two levels of psychological factors that make your problem happen.
1. You have a set of behavioral standards in your heart, and this set of behavioral standards cannot be done by others.
2. When others do not meet your requirements, you will be miserable, and you hope to reduce the gap between other people's behaviors and your inner rules by modifying others' behaviors, so as to reduce your inner discomfort.
Solutions to the problem.
1. Revise the inner norms, revise the inner norms and the real behavior of others, there is no difference between the inner and outer worlds, and you will not have pain.
2. Cultivate the method of getting along with inner discomfort, when there is discomfort in your heart, you can live peacefully with your discomfort, instead of trying to correct others to solve your discomfort through your own behavior.
The method of correction is good if you follow two paths, but the process of correction is not easy, in the process of getting along with your guardian for a long time, in the long-term pain, in the inner world to establish the norms of right and wrong, in fact, you observe the behavior of your guardian to obtain the code of conduct of your guardian itself.
That is, what you may not approve of has become recognized in order to relieve discomfort in the long-term pain.
Now, you need to reverse the situation and go through the process all over again, but there are only a few common ways to do this.
1. Rely on your strong willpower and play the role of your parents at that time.
2. Rely on psychological counseling, and the psychological counselor will play the role of parents when you establish your current inner model.
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The blaming personality is someone who will always blame others first when they encounter a situation, and the reason why they are like this is not true. Blind enough to not see their own shortcomings, but under the influence of an unhealthy growth environment, they have formed a character trait that is extremely afraid of admitting mistakes, so in order to protect themselves, they reflexively cover up their own shortcomings by preemptively magnifying the shortcomings of others.
Accusatory personalities see that they always point out the mistakes of others and never care about their own problems. Second, irritability, third, seeing that everything is wrong, and fourth, not feeling that I am an accusatory personality. Most of the accusatory personality is caused by the influence of parents and elders The probability of infection is 70000000000%, the probability of sexual infection is 20%, and the probability of self-formation is 10%, so we all think more about whether we have an accusatory personality.
The reproachful posture of the accusatory personality reflects this social norm in a consistent manner. We should defend our rights and not accept anyone's excuses to trouble and insult us, but we can never show cowardice. In the face of people with accusatory personality, the ultimate solution is to keep aware, keep learning, improve their inner sense of self-worth, see their own strengths, affirm, accept themselves, set psychological boundaries, return to themselves, and take care of themselves.
Zhang Defen said well, dear, there is no one else out there, only ourselves.
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I think that the accusatory personality is most afraid of others exposing his shortcomings, most afraid of others exposing his intentions, and most afraid of others-for-tat, once your true colors are exposed, it will be difficult for you to end up.
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I feel that I am either stronger than them and expose their family conspiracy, or I am smaller than them.
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I am most afraid of being pierced by someone to expose my shortcomings.
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There is also an invisible hand behind his back.
In the Satya family**, people are divided into five types of communication postures: flattering, accusatory, hyper-rational, distracting, and consistent.
People who always blame others are typical of accusation-pointing communication postures. You have to see what's behind the way such a person adopts such a communication posture.
Blame is a stimulated energy. It looks very powerful, but in fact, you think about why a person needs this energy.
There is only one answer, and that is because his own energy is not enough to deal with the troubles of reality, so he needs to mobilize this energy to protect himself in this way.
Therefore, many people who seem to be accusatory types grasp the little mistakes of others, desperately blame, and want to pull others out to parade in the streets. When a person is more intense, the more it shows that this person is weak in his heart and afraid of taking responsibility, and then immediately nails all these responsibilities to the other party, so that he feels grounded.
If you can see this need in him, you can see the other end of a person's hand of accusation, and a hand of help.
The hand is saying: I'm not good enough, I don't know what to do.
02 If you don't let him blame for being picky.
He didn't know how to live anymore.
From the perspective of the three elements of communication, "self, others, and situation", the accusatory person loses the "other" in the three elements of communication. They don't think about other people's feelings and live in their own world, so they often encounter fierce conflicts in their external relationships.
It is difficult for accusatory people to learn to empathize, and once they do, it means that they have to break their own defenses, enter the logical system of others, and feel the pain of others. It's a terrible thing for them, because their own pain hasn't been resolved, so how can they think about the pain of others?
So if you want him to empathize, it's basically ineffective. Because he can't.
Because for the accusatory type, they don't know how to get along with others, they only have such a mode to express themselves. So it looks like opening his mouth is being picky, and if you don't let him be picky, he won't know how to speak.
Accusatory people always carry a wave of anger and a nameless fire in their relationships. The chain of blame and blame, pickiness and picking, is something they learned from a young age in their own upbringing.
For example, a blaming mother blames her father every day and finds fault with her father. In the process of growing up, there will be three possibilities: one is to agree with the mother's accusation and become an accusation-type person, like the mother, he will learn to use the blame model to get along with men.
For example, I made a table of delicious food at home, waited for my husband to come home, and I was looking forward to it, and my husband finally came back from overtime. Have you forgotten what day it is?
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Answer: There are often such a group of people in life, they are conceited, they feel very good about themselves, they like to blindly exaggerate their self-worth, and they think they are very unique. Such people often look down on others, enjoy a strange sense of superiority, feel that they should be regarded as special talents, and at the same time, they often feel that their ideological realm is very high, and only very good and special people can understand. But in real life, as long as you encounter the slightest setback, you will be hit hard and feel worthless.
This type of person is a typical egoistic personality. In some cases, it is somewhat similar to narcissistic personality disorder.
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Individuals with such a personality often talk about blame and dissatisfaction, and often speak out about the shortcomings of others openly and mercilessly.
But they don't evaluate the strengths and strengths of others, as if they only have their weaknesses, or even belittle them as worthless.
It is conceivable that when getting along with people with such a personality, disputes and conflicts are indispensable. Because everyone has self-esteem, it is unbearable to be scolded for a long time. Especially between couples, a lot of the interaction is very small-scale, so this blame is also very subtle.
Psychologists have shown that this personality is likely to originate from their parents, that is, there are certain genetic factors.
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In other words, when you encounter a problem, you just recommend it to others, and you don't find the reason from yourself.
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I always want to find someone else's responsibility, and I don't see my own responsibility.
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It is the character that likes to blame others and is accustomed to criticizing others.
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You're talking about being a responsible personality, right?
We always like to blame others, like to point out other people's faults, and when we look back, we will feel that we are actually helping others, pointing out others' shortcomings to help others improve, and what we say is also the truth, but it will be annoying and not understood.
But when we think about it carefully, while pointing out the faults of others, do we also want to change others, do we also want to make others better, and then there is the desire to control, want to control the other party, and want the other party to act according to their own wishes, but if the other party does not listen, we ourselves will be impatient, so that there will be frequent pointing, chattering, looking at anything, looking at anyone is not pleasing to the eye.
This is the problem of our concept, the eyes can't tolerate people, and the inner tolerance is also very poor, and we always feel that it is for the good of others, but in fact, when we think about it, it is very selfish and inferior.
There is no way to tell you how to change, you need to find a psychological counseling agency to answer questions, and no matter how much chicken soup you read, it will not help. You need methods, not reason.
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