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Every parent wants their children to be better, so they will place high hopes on their children. Because parents care too much about their children, they will have excessive worry and anxiety, what will be the bad impact on their children?
Affect the child's mood.
Appropriate worry and anxiety are normal, which can make us more careful in dealing with things, so as to avoid danger, but if parents are overly worried and anxious, this is a negative psychology, which will have a subtle impact on children in ordinary life, and will be transmitted to children invisibly, so that children also have the same emotions as their parents. The child will feel depressed and uneasy, his emotions will fluctuate easily, he will feel irritable, difficult to stabilize, and he will feel panicked and unsafe when encountering things, and he will not have a sense of security.
Affects the child's communicative skills.
Parents are overly worried and anxious, and often have no way to control their emotions. When something doesn't go your way, you get angry. In normal life, you will have complete control over the freedom of your children.
Don't let your child play with others casually, and don't let your child socialize with others. When a child is under the control of his parents for a long time, he will cower and dare not make any resistance, which will seriously affect the child's ability to communicate with others, so that he will not be able to establish good interpersonal relationships with others.
Even if a child has the ability to compete with his parents, due to the influence of his parents' bad emotions since childhood, he will become impulsive and have no way to control his emotions, so that he will not communicate with others, and it is difficult to maintain good interpersonal relationships. A child who does not have normal interpersonal skills. He will develop a phobia of socializing.
When you grow up, it is difficult to gain a foothold in society and adapt to this society.
Influence the child's personality.
Parents who are overly worried and anxious, he is always worried about his children, and always feels that his children are very young and cannot do anything well. So I usually do everything for my children. If the child's abilities are not displayed, there will be no way to grow well, and the child will only get worse and worse, so that the parents will become more and more disappointed in the child.
Seeing their children getting worse and worse can make parents more anxious and worried. In this way, this emotion will be vented on the child. The child does not get the affirmation of his parents, and he becomes very anxious inside.
As a result, you will also feel inferior. For a long time, the child has not formed a healthy psychology, which affects the formation of his good character.
Children are the hearts and minds of their parents. Every parent wants their child to be better. But on the road to education, as a parent, you don't have to be too anxious and worried, which will have a negative impact on your children, and I hope that every child can control their emotions.
Let children learn to be independent and learn to take responsibility, so that they can be independent in the future.
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Such behavior of parents will only make children bear greater psychological pressure, and it is easy to bring psychological problems to children, and most children will suffer from some depression when they encounter such parents.
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In fact, it will also bring unnecessary anxiety to the child, and slowly the child will develop a more anxious personality of doing anything, which is very worrying.
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"*** parents" are undoubtedly the typical representatives of excessive concern for their children. They hover over the child like ***, monitor the child's every move all the time, and do everything possible to arrange clothing, food, housing and transportation for the child, for fear that the child will lose at the starting line.
But they don't know that doing so will have a lot of bad effects on their children.
1. Lack of independence.
Every step of the child's growth is carefully planned and arranged by the parents, the child just blindly accepts, does not need to use the brain to think, and over time the dependence will become stronger and stronger, and the parents will solve the problem. Just like a bird in a bird's nest, it will only open its mouth and wait for its parents to feed it.
2. I don't know how to face setbacks.
Before the child encounters difficulties, or when they are about to encounter difficulties, parents appear prematurely to solve the difficulties for the children, depriving the children of the opportunity to feel sadness and anxiety.
When a child grows up, even in the face of normal difficulties, he will think that something serious has happened and will not know what to do.
3. Lack of security and self-confidence.
The meticulous care of parents will make children feel: "It must be that I am not good and can't take care of myself, so my parents will take care of me so much." ”
This can lead to fear and anxiety, doubting oneself and leading to negativity and pessimism.
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Cause.
1. Fear that your child will be harmed.
Children are the heart of every parent, parents are most worried about the fear that the child will be hurt, if the child has an accident, the parents' hearts are really very uncomfortable, parents always hope that the hurt is not the child, but themselves.
Sometimes in order to prevent the child from being harmed, parents will protect the child very tightly, and they are afraid that the child will be hurt a little, and the parents want to use this way to prevent the child from being hurt.
Cause. Second, I am afraid that my child will not have a good future.
Every parent is worried about their child's future, and every parent hopes that their child will have a good future in the future, so parents are always worried about their child's future.
Every parent is thinking about what abilities should be cultivated in their children, how to educate their children, so that their children can get better education and growth, and parents are thinking about these issues day and night.
Cause. 3. Worry that the child will not be able to take care of himself.
Every parent hopes that their children can be fed and clothed warmly, they all hope that their children's food is nutritious, and they all hope that their children are not afraid of wind and sun.
When the child is at home, parents can always care about the child, and once the child leaves the parents, the parents do not know whether the child can eat and dress well when he is alone outside.
Cause. 4. Fear that the child will not be able to live in harmony with his peers.
Parents are very afraid that their children will not be able to communicate with some friends in this big group, and if they cannot communicate with their classmates in a friendly way, it will also affect the child's personality and affect the child's growth.
Cause. 5. Fear of teachers bullying children.
Recently, many online news have said that teachers have no teaching ethics and abuse children. Every parent is worried that their child may be bullied by the teacher after entering kindergarten. Worry about whether the teacher will bully the child and whether he will hate the child.
But in fact, the reason why online news is news is actually a few things that attract attention, but the vast majority of teachers in life are very good, so parents' worries are superfluous.
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1.Parents think that their children are still too young to discriminate, and they will be hurt by the sinister nature of society;
2.Some of the child's ways of dealing with things also make it difficult for parents to rest assured, society is not like at home, you can do what you want, and few people will be 100% good to you;
3.Children have experienced few things, and they have defects in life experience, which is naturally worrying;
4.Parents are reluctant to let go and spoil their children too much;
5.Some parents have lived a hard life since childhood, but now their lives have become better and better, and their children now suffer much less than their previous children, and parents are naturally worried that their children will suffer in the future;
6.Since childhood, children have not cultivated their ability to be independent, although they are older and lack of independence, they will still be worried;
7.With the rapid development of society and the increasing number of cases of fraud, the society is not as safe and innocent as before.
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The root of it is not believing in children. They don't believe that their children can handle interpersonal relationships on their own, so they are worried that their children will suffer losses and be bullied. I don't believe that my child can study well, so I worry that my child's grades will not be good; I don't believe that my child has the ability to take care of himself, so I worry that my child is hungry and cold; I don't believe that my child has good abilities, so I worry about my child being excluded and many other problems. So worry becomes "management", no matter what the child does, he must personally intervene, intervene, and even help the child do it himself, never giving the child a chance to grow.
If children don't learn to make friends and solve conflicts by themselves, how can children have good interpersonal relationships, don't let children experience the fun of reading and learning, and always use other people's children to belittle their own children, and always use "If you don't do well in this exam, I won't take you out to play", bribing children in this way, how can children fall in love with learning, and how can their grades be good. As parents, we have to check our thoughts every day, and when we start to be anxious and start worrying about our children, we tell ourselves: I believe that the children can solve it themselves!
Because I think he's going to be a good guy. I want to bless my children.
When you believe and bless your child, you will no longer be anxious. You will have more time and energy to improve yourself and create more value for yourself, your family, and the society. And that's the best role model, and the kids will follow your example and become a good person.
This is the greatest blessing that parents give their children.
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Chinese parents are tired, not for themselves, but for their children; Chinese parents are anxious, not for themselves, but for their children; Parents in China are worried, not for themselves, but for their children. In short, a series of tiredness, anxiety, and worry arise around the child.
When children go to kindergarten, parents are most worried about their children getting sick, which is really unavoidable. Children's resistance is weak, they are not adapted to living in a group, and they are easy to cross infection when they gather together. Only after experiencing these things will the child's resistance gradually improve.
In fact, there is really no need to be anxious and worried, whether you are worried or not, the child should experience a cold and fever. Excessive worry makes the child's psychological pressure increase and his personality becomes cowardly. Don't care too much about your child's illness, tell the boy:
A man must defeat a cold; Tell girls: be brave and don't be afraid of colds. In short, it is not terrible to be sick, as long as you take medicine on time, are not picky eaters, and exercise appropriately can defeat illness.
After going to school, there is less sickness, and this worry is gone, but then there is a lot of anxiety about the child's academic performance. The parents of the poor students lamented that their children had no hope, and simply gave up on themselves. Parents of middle school students try to send their children to various rumored rapid placement classes, as if everything will be fine if they enter that class.
Parents of top students are anxious about what to do if they can't get into a major university.
Parents in China are anxious! It is reasonable to say that the child's grades are not good, and it is reasonable to be anxious about the child's future, but the parents of the child's good grades are also very anxious, what to do if the child's learning declines, and what to do if the child's body is exhausted. Parents' anxiety is all about things that have not happened, will such anxious parents raise sunny and confident children?
I find it difficult! It's not the child who has the problem, it's the parents who have the problem, it's the parent's mentality.
In fact, there is really no need to be anxious and worried, because you can't study for your child, and your anxiety will make him upset. Don't pay too much attention to your child's learning, learn to decompress him, and learn to change the subject. When heavy learning topics are not at the center of a parent's conversation with their child, you will find that your child is less tired of studying and you are less anxious.
My child has finally graduated from college, but I am worried that my child will not find a job. Parents tried their best to find a job for their children, but the children still didn't like it, so they stopped doing it. Parents are very sad and anxious about their children's future life, but they have nothing to do.
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A child whose inner feelings and real needs can be seen by his parents and respond positively and in a timely manner, who is spiritually independent, emotionally enriched, free in thought, and has a sense of security, self-esteem and self-worth, is not bad at satisfying materially.
The real problem is not the material satisfaction of the child, but the fact that parents use material satisfaction to escape and make up for the nourishment, communication and companionship of the child in spirit, emotion, time and thought. The cause of children's problems is not that they give too much materially, but that they give too little mentally and emotionally.
For children's needs, it is recommended that parents can meet them, and if they do not want to meet them or are unable to meet them, they should tell their children directly, rather than denying their children's right to put forward their needs and desires, and accusing their children's requirements and desires of being wrong. There is no right or wrong in terms of needs and desires, and a person who doesn't even know what he wants and doesn't dare to express it doesn't have the courage and ability to pursue his goals and dreams. All parents need to do is to teach their children to express their feelings, needs and desires in a civilized way, not to deny and suppress them.
Even if we can't meet our children's needs and desires in a timely and positive manner, we must at least uphold empathy and give them emotional acceptance and emotional recognition. If you don't make sense, you can't make sense. That.
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