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Parents' desire to control is too strong, will make the child's heart can not be released, with the growth of the body, will liberate the nature, do not listen to any dissuasion from the parents, this is to be controlled in the suffocation, this is good, if the rebellion is very obvious, and even will do a series of bad things, this is the biggest harm.
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It will not bring any benefits to the child's growth, it will affect the child's future, directly affect the child's character, communicate with other people, there will not be much reaction at all, the child is prone to anxiety, withdrawal problems, lack of ability to think independently, and is also prone to insecurity, excessive obedience and strong aggression, becoming more and more rebellious.
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Children will not be independent, will have serious dependence, and children will often lose their temper with their parents, so you should not control your children too much.
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If you have too much control over your parents, it will have a great impact on your child's life in the future, such as having low self-esteem and not being able to be autonomous. You can't make your own decisions.
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Every parent has their own philosophy of educating their children, no matter what kind of parents they are, they ultimately hope that their children can become excellent people, but usually in the process of growing up with their children, if parents are too controlling, it is easy to have a negative effect on their children. In reality, many parents have a more or less desire to control their children, although the starting point is good, they all love their children and hope that their children can be better, but too strong a desire to control is actually not conducive to children's growth, which will cause children to be not independent enough, or stimulate children's rebellious psychology. Parents should give their children appropriate freedom in their daily lives.
Children will grow up one day and face the world alone, and parents learn to let go is the best help for their children's growth.
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1. Lack of happiness when children grow up: There is a certain connection between parents' excessive control behavior and children's mental health problems when they grow up, which may have a certain adverse impact on children's happiness, and children who are overly controlled by parents are also unhappy in their hearts.
2. Lead to poor self-reliance: children's independence needs to be cultivated from an early age, and parents should not worry too much about their children's safety when they first learn to do their own things. On the basis of ensuring the safety of the child, try to let the child handle it by himself.
On the one hand, it can stimulate children's curiosity, and on the other hand, it can also cultivate children's autonomy. If parents intervene in their children, they will develop a sense of dependence. In the future, children do not find ways to solve problems on their own, but rely on the help of others.
Once this habit is formed, the child will gradually become weak and incompetent. Therefore, when children are young, parents should not do too much for them. Let your child be clear about what he should do on his own and what he needs help.
3. Lack of assertiveness in children: If children encounter parents with a strong desire to control from an early age, children will repeatedly feel that their own ideas conflict with their parents' ideas in the process of growing up. When you grow up, you are easily influenced by others, care too much about the evaluation of others, and become a person who can't make up your mind.
For example, some people are extremely unconfident when they grow up, and they must consult their parents before making any decisions, including work, love, marriage, childbirth, and buying a house.
4. Lead to children's unprincipled behavior: unique personality can attract many friends for everyone and establish their own circle of friends. When children choose friends, parents should not use their own principles to interfere, which will only make children lose themselves.
Otherwise, the strong desire of parents to control will only make the child gradually lose himself and lose his judgment. What parents can do is correct guidance and full respect for their children, so as to cultivate their children's ability to think independently and judge right and wrong. In the process of the child's gradual establishment of the three views, reasonable suggestions are put forward but not imposed on the child.
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How much influence does a parent's desire to control affect a child?
For every parent, the health and happiness of their children should be the most important, so I will start by explaining that parents are very controllingfor the child's mental healthWhat kind of impact is there.
In a very happy family, children and parents always have almost the same power, and when the parents' desire for control increases, the child will fall into a state of powerlessness, or even almost a complete loss of self-existence. To put it more seriously, over time, the child will think that he has become a "machine" that is only at the mercy of others, and has no ability to innovate himself. This leads to a distorted mindset and a less than perfect future.
What I just said is in the case of children and parents who are in line with each other, and ifThe child also wants to be a controlling personThis?
When both children and parents want to exert control over one thing at the same time, conflicts will inevitably arise and psychological conflicts will arise. I have a friend who is also a mother who usually lives with her children, and the children's father is not at home all the year round. She has a strong desire to control, but her children are even more confrontational with her under perennial oppression, and the two of them are in pain every day.
When both the parents and the children were calm, the relationship between the two was much better, and it was getting better every day. What does this mean, it shows that when parents "take a step back", or look at things from the child's point of view, otherwise the inevitable conflict will occur.
When parents have a strong desire for parental control, the above two situations often occur. Hope it can be helpful to the person who asked.
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During the Chinese New Year, when we had a reunion with our good high school classmates, only Wang Peng was single among the five of us.
We teased him if he particularly enjoyed his single days, why didn't he find a partner when he was 28 years old!
Wang Peng took a sip of wine and said, who wants to be single?
When I have a girlfriend's parents, I have to ask each other about their conditions, but if there is something that does not meet their expectations, they will persuade me to give up openly and secretly.
Then they arranged all kinds of blind dates for me, all of which were of their preferred type, without considering my feelings.
A 28-year-old man, who is still questioned by his parents when he goes out, and his marriage is unbearable, and he feels that he really has no hope for the future.
Many parents have a strong desire to control, and they have to manage everything, and they care about you and are good for you, but this kind of care for everything seems to be comprehensive, which saves you a lot of worry, but it is actually quite tiring for children, like confinement.
When you resist, you will be labeled as a bad guy, and then you will be told: "The wings are stiff, they can fly!" I eat more salt than you eat! Will I hurt you! What am I trying to do? Not for your own good? ”
The so-called love in the mouths of these parents has invisibly become the shackles of their children.
Like boiling a frog in warm water, he finally drowned in this pretended beauty.
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Parents who are too controlling often correspond to children who are not doing well. In such a parent-child relationship, parents wield the big knife of "love" and hurt the body and mind of the child who cannot be defended and has nowhere to escape. A strong parental desire to control is not conducive to the growth of the child and can have many adverse effects on the child:
1. It will continue to hit the child, affecting the child's self-confidence, and the child will be easy to be cowardly, introverted and timid for a long time.
2. Affect the parent-child relationship, and it is easy to get depression.
3. It is easy to be stressed, which affects mood and sleep, which in turn affects the growth and development of children.
4. If you don't have the ability to resist when you are a child, you will tend to be very rebellious in adolescence, and even longer in your rebellious period.
5. Affect children's hands-on ability, learning ability and judgment ability.
6. It will even affect the child's relationship with others (classmates, friends, colleagues, lovers and even their own children) in the future, and it is easy to copy the parent-child relationship of the original family into their own social interaction, or they are powerless to change it.
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One type will make the child gradually unwilling to think, lose his own opinions, (gnaw at old age in the future). A type of growth will also have a great desire to control, in short, a strong desire to control has a great impact on the child, when it is time to let go, let the child try to solve some problems by himself, parents appropriate prompts or reminders.
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Parents have a strong desire to control their children, feel that their children are their own desired goals, and put all their previous regrets and unachieved goals on their children.
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How much influence does a parent's desire to control affect a child? I think this has a great impact on children, children have their own ideas and practices, if parents want to affect his life, he will become very, no freedom and inferiority, so parents should not affect their children too many things, control too much, affect the child's life.
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The child is not assertive, and at the same time has a stronger rebellious mentality.
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Very large and to be properly stocked,
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As parents, it is understandable that they love their children wholeheartedly, but there are many parents who have too much control over their children, is this a good phenomenon? Let's talk about this topic together!
1. It is not a good phenomenon for parents to have too much control over their children.
The so-called desire to control is that parents want their children to do things according to their own way of thinking, interfere too much in their children's lives, and achieve the purpose of letting children listen to their own words. In fact, there are many such parents around us, on weekends, let children according to their own preferences to enroll in interest classes, learn special courses, even if the child is reluctant, there is no way, which leads to the child is not happy at all, and sometimes will have an aversion to these subjects, which is contrary to the original intention of parents. They even resent their parents and did not have a good relationship with their parents, so it is not a good sign that parents have too much control over their children.
Second, such children will lose their ability to judge many things and will rely too much on their parents.
Parents have too strong desire to control their children, so many times children have no right to speak and choose, which makes children particularly unconfident, resulting in no way to choose, no way to face it, and always obey the arrangements of their parents. Relying too much on parents is not good for children's growth.
3. Parents should have certain boundaries in their children's control.
Parents always say that everything is for the good of their children, so they will be too demanding of their children, strict, and manage a lot, as parents love their children in a variety of ways, and there must be boundaries for the control of children, so that they can give their children freedom and let them choose by themselves, which is a qualified parent.
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This is not a good thing, children who have been in a controlled state for a long time are actually more likely to have a rebellious mentality, and it is not conducive to children to develop good habits of independent thinking and independent life.
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Of course, it is a bad phenomenon, on the surface, it seems that the parents love their children, but in fact, the parents impose their own expectations on the children, so that the children can go according to their own wishes, what is the difference between such children and puppets!
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It is not a good phenomenon for parents to have too much control over their children, they will make them flowers in a greenhouse, unable to withstand setbacks, some hobbies will be banned, they will not be able to make many friends, and they will be very withdrawn in character.
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Personally, I think that it is not a good phenomenon for parents to have too much control over their children, because when the child reaches a certain period, he is likely to rebel.
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It is not a good phenomenon, which can easily cause the child's rebellious psychology and do something irreversible.
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This is certainly not a good phenomenon, such a strong desire to control will make the child have a lot of pressure in his heart, and it will make the child develop very badly.
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It's not a good phenomenon, and this practice will cause a big psychological shadow on the child, so it's best not to do it.
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This is also not a good sign. The children raised in this way will be particularly unassertive, and the children will become very depressed, which will lead to psychological problems.
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Of course, this kind of behavior is not a good phenomenon, because it not only controls the child's growth, but also puts the child under great psychological pressure.
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Of course, this is not a good sign, because the parent's desire to control all the thoughts and actions of the child will not give the child any freedom and will not be independent.
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It is not a good phenomenon, if parents have too strong control over their children, it will affect the normal development of the child and affect the development of the child's personality.
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Not a good sign. Because this will lead to the child's rebellious psychology, and it will also lead to the child's lack of assertiveness, which is not conducive to the cultivation of the child's character.
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If parents do this, it can be said that there is almost no positive impact on the child, almost all of them are negative.
If when the child is young, parents guide and educate the child in some correct ways and regulate the child's behavior, then there is no problem. Because the child can set some rules for her after the age of two. But often many parents just make demands on their children and never give their children a response.
In other words, only parents who do not respond to their requests can be said to be parents who are controlling.
Such parents will always put the words "good for you" on their lips, but have parents ever asked their children if they want to, and have they confirmed what their children want?
1.Many children who grow up like this lack assertiveness. The child has always been under the strict discipline of his parents, and he will gradually become psychologically dependent, as long as he encounters something, no matter how big or small, he will be the first to think of his parents, and he will not act at all until he gets a clear answer from you.
Once he enters society, as a parent, he will find that his child has great defects in interpersonal communication and behavior.
2.The child's personality becomes introverted and withdrawn, and he is not good at words. Parents' excessive desire to control will directly affect the child's personality.
He takes into account the feelings of his parents in everything he does, which seems to be an act of filial piety, but in fact, at this time the child's personality has been completely distorted. Except for the communication of parents to other people, there will not be much reaction at all, and in serious cases, they may not even be able to do basic conversations.
3.Children are prone to lying or have some impulsive personality defects. This kind of child is often overly controlling of her parents, she is superficially subservient, she will also observe words, she is free between her father and mother, in order to show the good side, to prevent being punished and scolded by her controlling parents, she will make up some lies to gain her sense of security.
4.Lack of affection. Nowadays, many children are diagnosed with a lack of father's love and mother's love in psychological tests, and parents may still have doubts about this, and always feel that they take good care of their children.
But they forget that the so-called family affection that the child has always enjoyed is nothing more than a desire to control.
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