What should we do if we don t agree with my mother s values and cause us to have a strained relation

Updated on educate 2024-04-21
8 answers
  1. Anonymous users2024-02-08

    Do you wish you had a better relationship with your mother?

    Are you small in your relationship with your mother? So who's going to change? First of all, I want to tell you a little bit about the parent-child relationship, in our original family, it is the mother who gives us life, so at any time, the mother is older than us, we are young, at this time, no matter what the parents do, he gave us life, at the level of life, we all need to be grateful, when you can be grateful to our parents for giving us life, we will accept ourselves inside, and we will have more strength to make ourselves live better, this is the first layer.

    Second, maybe Mom and Dad have some words, deeds and thoughts in life, which are inconsistent with us and will make people feel uncomfortable, so what do we have to do? We know that if you want to forcibly change another person, just like someone else changes you, it will make people very bad and angry, then we want to change others too, especially in the face of mom, she is older than us, if we want to change mom's values, it will only make your relationship worse, so at this time, who is going to make the change between you and mom?

    It's the one who hurts the most, the one who is wiser, I think in your relationship, it's you, we can't change the mother's values, but we can find the common part in the need part behind the mother's values, or do things that don't touch the values at the moment, in the case that both parties can get along, only be his daughter, only feel the mother's love, and at the same time through your growth, your wisdom, to make some more choices. In terms of my mother's limited thinking, she thinks that this is the only way to do it, and then when you do it in another way, it can still be good.

    If this other way gets a good result and effect, I believe that when my mother goes to see him, she will also think, this is not that you change her, but use your life to influence her, and use your better life state to let your mother see more choices, so that the relationship between you and your mother will become harmonious and easier because of each other's influence, so you are willing to use your strength on yourself, first be a daughter, only be coquettish in front of your mother, and be your daughter's well-behaved, Then come across the part of values, let yourself grow, let yourself be more wise, and be able to make your life happy and interesting, at this time, when your mother sees that you are getting better and better, your mother will also follow you to learn, to change yourself, and your relationship will be different.

  2. Anonymous users2024-02-07

    There is an age gap, it is normal to have a gap in values, there is no mental and ideological gap between mother and daughter, in fact, there are not many mothers and daughters, if there is a difference, just think about it, she always loves you. I have some of my own opinions, which I hope will be helpful to you.

    In today's society, all kinds of changes are really unexpected, and two people who are often together will experience different things, let alone mother and daughter who are not often together? There are a lot of popular news about how young foreign mothers are, how compatible they are with their sons, and how compatible their personalities are, but in fact, those are a minority of the crowd (the only thing in common is that they are all rich).

    Tension with your mom doesn't solve anything, either you go along with your mom's idea, or you tell your mom the reason for your idea and get her mom to support you. No matter what kind of ending it is, you shouldn't be angry with your mother, I understand the feeling of not getting along, but always remember that no matter what she does, what she wants you to do, she wants to do it for you from the heart.

    She has experienced more things, and has more experience in many things than we do; We have encountered many new things, and our ideas are in line with the current trend. Each has its own advantages and disadvantages. Don't think that your mom is all wrong, and don't think that you're right, I think the combination of the two might be more appropriate and acceptable to everyone.

    I'm also very big, and I'm a lot more mature for many things, and I have a lot of feelings for my mother, even if I can't completely obey her, I have to really love her, because she gives you all her love, just to return some obedience and well-behaved, it's really not much.

  3. Anonymous users2024-02-06

    A friend recently encountered such a problem, he planned to sell his house and go abroad, but his mother did not agree, which led to a very tense relationship between the two people.

    So I suggested listening to my mother's thoughts now, after all, she is old, and now the two of us are together every day, so we should respect my mother's point of view.

    In fact, there are too many cases where young people and elders do not agree with their values, but because many children are not by their parents' side, such disagreements are banned with distance.

    First of all, you have to determine who is right and who is wrong in the case of incompatible values, not to say that you have to take a stand, because there is a right and a wrong situation that you do not need to stand on a stand, because you must stand on the right side, but if there is no right or wrong, what are you fighting for with different values, what is fighting for is actually family affection.

    So what are you fighting for is truth or affection, and your mother should be fighting for affection rather than reason, because in their eyes, truth is not important in front of family affection, only young people feel that truth is important.

    I think it's still okay to listen, and if you can't listen, it's natural and not reluctant, but what to do now, the first thing is to relieve such tension, what the other party says just listen, don't argue, let you do what you do first, don't refuse, you need to ease the relationship first, in the mother and child, any misunderstanding can be relieved without explanation.

    So let her do whatever she wants, and then have a good chat, listen to her thoughts, express your thoughts, don't argue, just discuss.

  4. Anonymous users2024-02-05

    When you have a serious disagreement with your parents' values that make life difficult and uncomfortable, consider the following:

    1.Communication and understanding: Try to communicate openly and honestly with your parents about your feelings and positions. Try to understand their point of view and hope that they will understand yours as well. Respecting each other's opinions and feelings is key to establishing effective communication.

    2.Seek compromises: Whenever possible, find compromises that are acceptable to both parties. This may require some concessions on both sides in order to achieve harmonious coexistence. Find shared values and interests from which to build better understanding and interaction.

    3.Respect personal choices: You have the right to choose your own lifestyle and values.

    Despite disagreements with your parents' opinions, you can choose to stand up for your values while also respecting your parents' positions. Mutual respect and acceptance are important cornerstones of family relationships.

    4.Seek external support: If there is a disagreement that cannot be resolved, or if the disagreement is negatively affecting your mental health, consider seeking professional counseling or family counseling.

    A professional counsellor can provide more in-depth guidance and support to help you navigate this difficult situation.

    5.Develop independence: Strive to develop your own independence and sense of self-worth, and find your own identity and purpose in life. Boost your self-confidence and coping skills by cultivating your hobbies, pursuing personal growth, and finding a support network.

    Keep in mind that every family and situation is different, and the above methods may work better for some people and not for others. The most important thing is to find a way that works for you, maintain a positive mindset, ask for help and support, and create a positive, healthy living environment for yourself.

  5. Anonymous users2024-02-04

    Hello dear! When there is a serious discrepancy with the values of the parents, it can lead to distress and conflicts in life. Here are some suggestions to deal with this situation:

    1.Respect differences: Try to understand and respect your parents' views and values, even if you don't fully agree with them. Everyone has their own unique life experiences and backgrounds, leading to different perceptions. Learning to recognize and accept these differences is the first step in alleviating conflicts.

    2.Communication and confiding: Communicate openly and honestly with your parents to get to know each other's thoughts and feelings. Talk about your troubles and troubles, but pay attention to your tone and manner, and try to avoid arguments and aggressive language.

    3.Find common ground: Try to find commonalities and shared values with your parents. Build closer relationships by finding common interests or goals, and strengthen communication and exchange in these areas.

    4.Self-growth and independence: develop your own thinking skills and independence, and shape your life according to your own values. Find supportive and understanding friends or other adults to share your thoughts and concerns with them for more support and advice.

    5.Seek a third-party intermediary: If you have a conflict with your parents that cannot be resolved on your own, consider seeking the help of a third-party intermediary, such as a relative, friend, counselor, or counselor.

    They may be able to provide objective advice and guidance to assist you in finding a compromise or solution between you and your parents.

    Remember that conflict with parents is a common situation, but every family and individual has different situations and solutions. The key is to maintain respect and understanding, and try to find a way to deal with these conflicts that works for you. I hope it can help you!

  6. Anonymous users2024-02-03

    In the face of the different values of parents, we first need to understand two key points: first, we are people of different eras, and we have experienced different social environments and educations; Second, each of us has our own independent thinking and values.

    On the premise of remaining rational and calm, I believe that the following methods should be adopted:

    First, respect your parents' opinions and values. We need to understand that the values held by our parents are the accumulation of their upbringing and life experiences, and what we hold is the information and influences that we are exposed to as we grow up. Although they are different, they all have a rationality.

    So, we need to respect their point of view, look at our own point of view, and try to reach a consensus.

    Second, communicate and express with your parents and communicate rationally. When you encounter different values from your parents, don't assert whether the other person is right or wrong, and don't argue verbally. We should communicate rationally, try to understand what our parents think, and express our own opinions, and reach a consensus through dialogue.

    Third, don't be-for-tat or emotional. We have a deep family relationship with our parents, so we should not be rude to deal with each other's different opinions in a cold or aggressive way, and do not let emotions interfere with rational thinking, and maintain a peaceful and open mind.

    Fourth, try to move towards compromise. If there are still discrepancies after discussing with parents, we can try to find a compromise. After all, family affection is mutual, and some small compromises may make our relationship more harmonious.

    To sum up, we can deal with the different values of our parents in a respectful, communicative, rational and peaceful way, reach a consensus, and make our relationship with our families more harmonious.

  7. Anonymous users2024-02-02

    A serious disagreement with the values of the parents can be a troublesome thing. Here are some suggestions to deal with this:

    1.Accept differences: The first thing to understand is that everyone's ideas and values are independent. Accept the differences between your parents and yourself, and respect their perspectives and experiences.

    2.Seeking consensus: Try to find a place where you can reach a common ground and find a point of view that is acceptable to both parties, which can reduce conflict and resentment.

    3.Communication: Have an open and honest conversation with your parents to express your thoughts and feelings. Gradually establish a communication style of mutual understanding and respect.

    4.Gaining independence: If your values are causing a lot of pain at odds with your parents, consider pursuing independence and finding a lifestyle and social circle that is more suitable for you.

    5.Seek support: Share your feelings and confusion with friends, relatives, or someone else you trust. They can provide advice and support to help you deal with this.

    6.Seek professional help: If the above methods do not solve the problem, consider seeking help from a counselor or family counselor. They can provide professional advice and guidance.

    The most important thing is to maintain a calm and rational attitude and try to avoid arguments and conflicts. Don't forget that your parents hold their views out of love for you and past experiences. The ultimate goal is to build a relationship of mutual respect and understanding.

  8. Anonymous users2024-02-01

    1. Choose to understand.

    Because we live in a different environment from our parents, and because of the different things we have been exposed to since childhood, it is inevitable that our values will be different from our parents.

    2. Empathy.

    For the same problem, or looking at the same thing at the same time, parents may have different opinions and even ideas from us, but we must learn to empathize and think about whether it becomes natural and reasonable to do so if we consider it from the perspective of our parents.

    3. Communication.

    Communication is the most direct and fastest way to get to know each other's ideas. Maybe it's because I don't know much about it, after all, adults always say, "I've eaten more salt than you've eaten", after all, they have more social experience and experience than our older people. This is the age of inspection.

    Fourth, learn to be tolerant.

    Peers may have more to say than their peers, we always feel that our parents' concepts are conservative and backward, but their views may not be all wrong, maybe sometimes it is us who are wrong, so we have to learn to tolerate, or many years later you will have a new and different concept similar to your parents' values.

    That's it, it's not easy to organize, remember to like it before you go

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If there is a big conflict, choose to keep your distance. In my opinion, once people have their own fixed value system, they tend to reject people who have different views from their own, so when you encounter people with huge conflicts of values, please choose to keep your distance. Therefore, I would like to warn everyone, do not choose people with very different values to spend their lives with, so it is inevitable that no one is wrong, but they can't get along well.