I don t know how to socialize.

Three small ways to stay away from social phobia.

First of all, how do you define the complete absence of socialization?

Does it mean that there is no other language to anyone than a purposeful conversation? Don't even talk to your pet?

So I imagine what it would be like to have no social interaction at all.

First of all, you have to have a personality that your relatives don't contact, such as your parents are abroad for a long time, or you are abroad, and the contact is time difference, and there is less contact. Secondly, you don't have a job, but you have a stable economy**, which may be given by your parents, or you may have saved from your previous work. And you don't play online games, don't go to various post bars, forums, and don't use any social software.

Weekday meals rely on takeout, and takeout is placed in a fixed place for you to pick up by yourself, and so is express delivery.

This reminds me of "The Life of a Disgusted Matsuko".

Isn't the last stage of Samatsuko's life such a state? The house was full of garbage, there were no relatives and friends, and if it wasn't because he died outdoors, he might have died and was found by his neighbors because of the rancid smell.

Similarly, in Japan, there is a term called "death without cause."", one is no friends, "no social relationship", and the other is with family relations.

Alienation and even collapse, this is "no blood", and the three are isolated from their hometown and cut off "no geography", which should be what the subject said is completely social.

What I understand as "non-social" is roughly a group of people who feel hopeless or hurt in the process of socializing, so they are never willing to walk out of their own acres and thirds of land for the rest of their lives.

What do you want to say in the process of dying alone in the space they confine? No one knows, and maybe it's the phrase "I was born to be human, I'm sorry." “

First of all, people can't be completely social, social interaction is necessary. In fact, I can understand the reason why I am reluctant to socialize, in fact, many people are always unable to really care about others, but use their own disguise to communicate with others. The essence of the core is: comparison.

To tell the truth, in fact, many people have a better life than you, your heart is not congratulations but jealousy, you will not be happy because others are doing well, on the contrary, you will be unhappy because others are doing well.

Secondly, human beings are social, political creatures, and we cannot really live in groups out of order and society, especially for young people. Why do I focus on emphasizing young people, because they can't be truly independent (independence here refers to the quality of things), my guess: it is precisely because of the lack of self-discipline and independence that they will be reluctant to reality, but they are strongly dissatisfied with reality, and they want to escape but can't escape from it.

In fact, the core of the solution is to change our thinking, since there is no escape and no change, we can only accept. As the saying goes: The prime minister can hold the boat in his belly.

Acceptance is also a kind of generosity, we generously accept some people and things that we are not used to, sometimes it is not the acceptance of the heart, maybe it is a kind of spiritual indifference, we can also disguise ourselves, sometimes pretending may be true. All I am talking about is not insensitivity, but accumulation, only after we are truly independent, we have the capital to talk about our ideal world.

In the end, I believe that if you have love for others, others will also have love for you, and you can be loved only by believing in love freely.

Let me tell you a little bit about my own life.

I've been quitting my job for three months and haven't had any social interaction in three months other than having dinner with my girlfriends. In my opinion, maintaining one's already solid relationship is not called socializing, socializing is to take the initiative to participate in new circles and meet new people. But it's a pity that I feel like my circle has been maintained for several years without a new branch quarrel, good friends are still those two or three good friends, and ordinary friends are still those few ordinary friends, rarely maintained, occasionally chatting.

When I go to work, I maintain a relationship with my colleagues, and the rest are not involved.

Going to work can actually be regarded as a form of socializing, because you need to deal with people who are not so close to you every day, so I define the three months after I leave my job as no social slowdown.

After half a month back to Jinan to deal with some check-out, social security, wages and other odd things, I came directly to Wenzhou, the next month with my husband, here is the real sense of 0 social, because I don't know any of them, this is a completely unfamiliar environment, every morning up for the two of us to make breakfast, and then in the morning will brush the mobile phone, watch a movie, almost noon when the food is bought and cooked, and when he comes back, eat together for lunch break, and then read books or dramas in the afternoon, After eating together in the evening, we go for a walk in the park near our home, and when we come back from the walk, we wash up, read English, sleep, and so on every day. My friend teased me that I had become a housewife, and I used to think that I would panic when I didn't work, worried that I would cut off relations with society, reduce my desire and ability to express myself, and would immediately look for a job and go to work, but after I left my job, I found that it was just some unpositive and frank thoughts in the quagmire of an unhappy job, and now I have left that environment, my mood has changed, and I have spent a lot of time thinking, and my mind is becoming more and more calm and open.

That's what I do when I'm not socializing.

1 Eat on time every day, go to bed early and get up early, exercise properly, and don't treat yourself badly physically.

2 After no social interaction, I developed the habit of writing, I would record my thoughts and moods, watch movies and write movie reviews, and I would record every bit of my life, so that I knew where my happiness came from.

3 Can't give up studying: Speak English fluently every night.

Punch in and practice speaking; memorize and dictate long sentences in typical English; Read for at least half an hour a day; Will try to learn to cook on his own, clean, cost-effective and fun.

4. Go out for a walk, go shopping or play every week, and you can't completely close yourself off, because your mentality will become sad after a long time.

Watching the sunset alone.

Live alone.

The reluctance to socialize is also a living condition and a life choice that does not need a reason or even an explanation. Now the network of the Internet is too developed, many things can be known without going out, and there are many things that can be accessed without going out, so many people are addicted to this feeling, and are bound in the house by games and secondary elements. 1. The cost of establishing a relationship on the Internet is very low, you can easily establish contact with people who are thousands of miles away, and the communication between strangers can also be without considering too many factors, how to be happy - if you are too relaxed and rash in online socialization, in real socialization, you may be difficult to grasp the degree of establishing a relationship, and you will also ignore some necessary social etiquette when establishing contact with strangers.

2. The social interaction between people no longer depends on the rules of the traditional "acquaintance society". The change of economic form and the evolution of social rules have reduced the demand for "social interaction" of some people, and the need to deal with people has become less urgent. Social networking is still a "rigid need".

No matter how much fear there is, socializing is still needed. From this wave of online discussion of "social phobia", society should also reflect on it. For example, what kind of social model do people need?

Is it red tape or exhilarating simplicity, hypocrisy or straightforwardness? These are probably the broader public significance of this topic. 3. When you socialize online, you can only choose to express your emotions and opinions in the form of text, or you can take voice and**, but under socializing, all your Wu Ran's actions, expressions, and voice states are exposed in front of the other party, and the offline self-expression will be deeper than on online socializing, and the information unconsciously revealed is richer.

Young people who have been using online social networking for a long time have less practice and are less able to use non-verbal information to express themselves. "Don't want to" and "don't understand" should be closely related and form a closed loop, because I don't want to socialize and fall in love, so I don't do it, and slowly I don't know how to establish and maintain social and romantic relationships; The reverse is also true, because I don't know how to socialize and love, I don't want to do things that I am not good at, and I don't want others to realize that I don't understand the social side of myself, so I don't want to take the initiative to enter social and romantic relationships.