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<>I'm not going to have a bad marriage for the sake of my children.
Some couples have long broken down their relationship, but because they have children, they live together, but in fact, they have long been in the same bed and have different dreams, and some even have different beds. If you don't talk, you're like a stranger at home. They think that this is for the good of the child, so that the child seems to have a complete home, but in fact, this has a greater impact on the child, we think that the child does not understand anything, in fact, the child knows everything, he may just not say, because he is afraid that his parents will separate, and hope that his parents can love each other.
But mom and dad are like strangers every day, and children worry every day that their parents will abandon them. I'm worried that I don't have a complete home, and I'm worried that my parents don't love me anymore. After a long time, the child will have unhealthy psychological conditions such as rebellion and worry.
Some couples are separated, and the child is with the father or mother, do not refuse the other partner to visit the child. As long as you educate well, don't complain to your children about the other party's badness, and don't blame anyone, since the relationship between husband and wife is broken, it is a problem for two people. No matter what the reason, don't hurt the child, the child's heart is weak and does not understand the right and wrong of the adult world.
Saying those complaining words will only add to the burden on the child's mind. Tell the child that although his parents are separated, they still love him as before, and the child may not understand it at first, but as he grows up, he will understand that feelings cannot be forced.
As the saying goes, what kind of parents have what kind of children, parents are the first teachers of children, so no matter what our final decision is, we must consider the children and minimize the harm to the children. Not necessarily being together is the best solution.
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This seems to be very common in China, and even among modern people, there may be a certain percentage. What do you think about this?
When the relationship between the two exists in name only, should they swallow each other's anger for the sake of the child?
On the one hand, there is the growth of children from divorced families;
On the other hand, there is the growth of children who continue to maintain the marital relationship due to the breakdown of the relationship.
The two are contradictory, but children are equally likely to suffer from psychological shadows.
Researchers have once installed heart rate monitors on children and found that when children are quietly reading, writing, or playing, if the voice of their parents.
When you raise, you can suppress, argue and complain about something, your child's heartbeat will increase dramatically, although it seems that he or she is still quietly doing it.
own business. The child's observation and feeling are very keen, and the surface is calm, but in fact, the heart has turned the river and the sea. And a person, especially a small friend.
Friend's energy is limited, and when he spends his energy on worrying about his parents, it is inevitable that other aspects (physical and mental health, study, etc.) will be affected.
Effect. Therefore, there are often two major problems with a marriage that is made up for the sake of children:
1. Although there is no divorce, there are many secret wars, and the children are "heartbroken" in private;
2. Husbands and wives blame their children for the unhappiness of their marriages, which makes them psychologically stressed.
So what do you think about this situation? When parents have emotional problems, how to solve them to reduce the damage to children's growth?
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A good marriage can make you better and better, a bad marriage can make you worse and worse, not just make you bad, even the people around you can make you worse.
I know that under the influence of traditional Chinese culture, many people have to maintain this marriage even if they find all kinds of disharmony in their marriage, and even if they are touched by principles and bottom lines. In the name of it, for the sake of the children, I endured it. I think this kind of person is very spineless.
Do you think that if you maintain a bad marriage for the sake of your children, the children will appreciate you? Living in such a discordant home all day long, do you think the child is stupid and can't see anything? Seeing other people's parents love each other, and seeing other people's children bathing in the ocean of love all day long.
Look at your parents, cold, the whole is a patchwork home. Do you think your child can feel better psychologically? Can children feel family happiness?
There is also that kind of domestic violence family, the child grows up in this kind of family all day long, do you think he can be psychologically sunny and healthy? Actually, you're not alone. Parents are their children's first teachers.
The impact of the family of origin is felt throughout a lifetime. Why don't you start a new life? Going out is a new beginning.
It's not so much for the sake of the children as for the cowardice and incompetence. I am worried that my children will not belong to me after the divorce, and I am even worried that I will find a worse destination again. After so many years of reform and opening up, why do so many women still think that they are men's accessories?
There is no spiritual independence, there is no pattern of self-improvement and self-reliance. There are so many women like this around me, and some of them put themselves in it. How stupid!
Do you think you are still great to destroy yourself for the sake of a wrong and painful marriage? There are many women who let others ruin the rest of their lives. It's really spineless.
It is better to be single than wrongly married. Regardless of whether you are unmarried or married.
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I think that having children really shouldn't be easily divorced, but just can't easily say divorce when encountering things, and try to solve it together if it can be solved, after all, marriage with children is not just a love story between two people, but the family life of three people and two families. But you can't use the child as an excuse to maintain an unhappy marriage, since the relationship between two people is irreparable, it is better to separate happily and communicate with the child together, so that the child understands the choice of the parents, and shows that the departure of the parents will not make him lack the love of either of the parents.
1) If the relationship between the two parties is not handled well after the divorce, the child can easily lack the care of one party, resulting in the absence of one of the parents during the child's growth, and may also have an adverse impact on the child's personality. So divorce isn't the only option if it can be avoided.
2) However, if the relationship between the two parties is irretrievable, they may not be happy together, and the parents' emotions will also be invisibly transmitted to the child in daily life, which is also detrimental to the child's growth. Therefore, it is better to cut through the mess quickly, break up early, break up peacefully, and enlighten the child together is really good for the child.
3) Divorce does not mean that the child will lose one of the parents, if you force yourself together in the name of "for the good of the child", pass on negative emotions and negative energy in daily life, and even blame your child when you have misfortune, think that you sacrifice everything for the sake of your child, say that the child is a burden to yourself and other hurtful words, I think this is not selfless but selfish.
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This is not worth it, a life of compromise, not only to themselves but also to the children are a harm, there is no one right or wrong in marriage, for the sake of the children to maintain the marriage, is not responsible for themselves and children, if there is no communication between the two, how can the children not see, such parents are also a harm to the children.
When the marriage exists in name only, and there is a rift in the relationship between the parents, in this case, will there be no divorce, is it good for the children? Children definitely hope that their parents are harmonious and loving, but if the child is under a certain amount of pressure all the time, will the child feel relaxed and happy, and will he feel that the divorce of his parents is a relief. Rather than maintaining a marriage that exists in name only, it is better to be freed, which is beneficial to the children themselves.
Some people say that maintaining a marriage for their children is just an excuse, because of the fear of other people's opinions, environmental encounters, etc., there are various consequences, and I think it is selfish to use this excuse to deceive themselves and others.
Tell a story: When I was a child, there was a time when my parents often quarreled, and in the end they said, divorce, and my parents didn't take action for a long time. And mom often says in the child's ear, it's all Dad's fault, if it weren't for you, we would have divorced a long time ago.
In this way, isn't it a harm to listen to the child's ears? Are children who grow up in unhappy marriages necessarily better than children who grow up in single-parent families? I don't think it's right to instill the right ideas in the children, and the children of noisy families will not feel happy, and parents should not impose their ideas on their children.
I think parents should ask their children what they really think, rather than making decisions for their children.
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In a family, children occupy a very important position, so children also play an important and decisive role in maintaining the marital relationship, after all, many people maintain their marriages because of their children, and it is common for them to insist on not divorcing for fear of their children's sadness. In fact, parents should not only give their children happiness, but also their own happiness, which is what children want to see. <>
Some people feel that their marriage is maintained for the sake of children, because if only two adults live together, they may not be able to persist for a long time due to the contradictions, so children do play a very important role in maintaining the stability of the marital relationship, and the children will also adjust the atmosphere of the family, so that the conflicts between the two adults will not be so intensified. <>
Because the children are all related to themselves.
Therefore, even if the husband and wife quarrel fiercely, they will be calmer when dealing with their children, so children play a very important role in the adjustment of the family atmosphere, and they are also one of the important factors in maintaining the stability of the marital relationship. <>
It is normal for marriage to have problems, because there will always be bumps and bumps in the decades after marriage, some people can adjust well, they can continue the marriage, and some people do not have the ability to adjust or their own psychological quality.
If you don't pass the test, you are likely to come to the end of your marriage, and if you have children, you will have one more layer of concern. Moreover, many children from single-parent families in society have various psychological problems.
It will also make parents worry and fear, worried that these things will fall on their children, so even if they are a little wronged in marriage, they will give their children a complete family.
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Many couples after getting married, the relationship has gradually become numb, if it is not for the children, then the relationship between husband and wife has long been non-existent, although there is a marriage certificate between the two as a legal proof of husband and wife, but the relationship has long disappeared.
Children are the weakness of parents.
There are many women around my life who are very dissatisfied with their husbands, although the two of them have to live under the same roof every day, but they dislike each other. But when someone asks why these women don't choose to divorce and find a better in-law to live a better life? The basic operation of women is simple to introduce to your girlfriend is much the same, and they insist on marriage for the sake of children.
This is very surprising, but it also feels reasonable, because in life, children without parents, they seem very pitiful, on the one hand, no one cares for them, and no one teaches them to behave in the world, so they are disliked like wild children, and at the same time they become very rebellious in order to take revenge on life. I think that couples who have no feelings, but continue to live together, often don't want to see their children become that unbearable.
Children are the source of happiness for their parents.
Women are weak, mothers are strong, men are the same, they are a free and easy young people, but when they have children, they will have a kind of fatherly affection that makes them feel responsible, no matter what setbacks they encounter in their feelings or lives, they want to continue to work hard when they see their children's lovely faces. Children are the source of happiness for parents, although it takes a lot of effort and energy for parents to raise children and accompany children, but many parents are willing to pave the way for their children, and only hope that their children can live a better life in the future. So many couples, although their relationship is not stable, but when they have a common topic, they all become silent, for the sake of the child, everything is for the child!
Therefore, many people want to have children after getting married, and when the relationship between husband and wife is not good, they can't easily file for divorce, after all, children are the bond that maintains the relationship between husband and wife.
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Yes. Because children are the bond of the relationship between husband and wife, and children can bring a lot of joy to the family, I think children are an important factor in maintaining the marriage relationship.
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It is indeed a very important factor, since the child is able to regulate the relationship between husband and wife.
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No. It is very incorrect to use children as a maintenance of the marriage relationship, and at the same time, such a relationship cannot last long, indicating that the relationship between two people has no real name.
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This practice is actually very undesirable, and it seems to be for the good of the child, but it often backfires. Many times children live in this kind of family situation and do not feel happiness and do not enjoy the love from their parents. At this time, the parents' future will have no meaning, but will bring more crisis and harm to the child.
What is the family atmosphere, what is the relationship between parents, children are the most sensitive, many parents unilaterally think that divorce must be bad for children, but parents' quarrels and indifference are also very harmful to children, such as not getting along with the opposite sex or fear of marriage.
Children will not be grateful to their parents for wronging their parents for their own sake, and may even feel that if their parents are divorced, they may be freer and maybe happier. The way children learn to behave in the world is learned from their parents, and the bad communication styles of parents are more likely to set a negative model for children, which is not conducive to the formation of children's character. If it's a parent.
If you can no longer live together and your child can understand your parents, it is recommended that you communicate clearly with your child and find your own happiness with your child's support and understanding.
If it is found that the child cannot accept the divorce of his parents after the trial, then there must be a transition period first, so that the child can slowly understand and accept. Parents can manage their marriage happily and happily, which is a good gift for their children; If there is no affection between husband and wife, and the marriage can no longer be maintained, then be free and easy, give each other freedom, and find another piece of heaven that belongs to you. Spending every day wonderfully is also a love for children.
Finally, both men and women, hope that before getting married, think about whether they can spend their lives with each other, don't compromise because of some customer conditions, once they get married, please also consider whether they can give their children a complete and happy home, otherwise don't have children, after all, the time of life is too long, children have no choice for birth, their future is in the hands of those of us as parents, what we can give is to be responsible for their own choices, responsible for their children.
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