Do you have any jokes you can share about laughing like a madman?

The folk tale "The Fisherman's Tale" must have been heard by many people. Once upon a time there was a fisherman whose family was very poor. He went to the beach every morning to catch fish and made a rule that he would cast his net no more than four times a day.

One morning, he cast his net three times and caught nothing, and he was very upset. And when he drew up the net the fourth time, he found in the net a bold brass jar, the mouth of which was sealed with the mouth of tin, and on it was the seal of Solomon. When the fisherman saw it, he smiled:

I'm going to get rich this time! "Before you sell it, you have to figure out what's in there. So he pulled out a knife from his belt, pried the tin seal off the mouth of the bottle, and shook the bottle to try to pour out the contents, but there was nothing.

He thought it was very strange. In a moment, a puff of green smoke rose from the bottle, and it turned into a huge devil, cloaked and towering in front of the fisherman. The fisherman looked.

After graduating from university, Xiao Li applied for several companies, but failed to meet his ...... for a variety of reasonsOne day, he came to a private company, went in to have a look, and thought that as long as the treatment was acceptable, he would give it a try...... firstXiao Li: Director! You still need people here, don't you?

Director: If it's you, you can do it first, but the probationary period is ...... a monthXiao Li: Then your salary here ......Superintendent:

Oh, and the salary is ...... three times a monthYou have to listen clearly, and if you want, come to work tomorrow at 7 a.m. Xiao Li thought to himself, three thousand is okay: good!

That's it, I'll be at work tomorrow. The next day, Xiao Li went to work on time. ...... a month laterXiao Li:

Superintendent:It's been more than a month, why haven't you paid your salary! Superintendent:

Didn't I tell you when you first came? Three pulls per month. Xiao Li:

It's been more than a month,..

1, Song Jiang took his brothers to the restaurant for dinner, and after eating, he found that he didn't bring any money, so he asked the shopkeeper: If you don't bring any money, can you make a white slip? The shopkeeper said:

Song Gongming is anxious for justice and righteousness, a thousand words, it doesn't matter if you don't bring money, you don't need to play a white slip, I can trust your character! Song Jiangdao: How can it, you must play a white strip!

Shopkeeper: Alright then! Song Jiang shouted:

Zhang Shun, come here. Then he pointed to Zhang Shun and said to the shopkeeper: This is my brother, known as Zhang Shun in the waves.

Eat your meal, and give you a beating. Quick, hit the white strip! Treasurer: ...

2, Ruan Xiaoer gave birth to a son and found Song Jiangdao: Brother, brother, I have no education since my ancestors, so I take some common names of "Xiao Er" and "Xiao Qi", my brother is educated, give me a noble name! Song Jiang thought for a while and said:

Then call it China! Ruan Xiaoer said: China is a country.

A buddy sent me a message on QQ.,At that time, I had the heart to make a joke with him.,So I pretended to be an auto-reply to talk to him.,Here's what the conversation is.。 "Dear, are you there? "Auto reply:

The system crashes, cannot be queried, and is restarting. “.

I was about to go downstairs to take out the garbage, but I saw my neighbor Xiao Ming coming down from the downstairs in a hurry, looking panicked! I usually have a good relationship with my neighbor Xiao Ming, they are about the same age, and occasionally they get together to drink some beer, so they still have a little friendship, I look at Xiao Ming like this, I am busy and said, "What's wrong?"

What's wrong? Xiao Ming said nervously: "My best friend is dead!"

It's dead! As soon as I heard this, I hurriedly said in confusion: "Your friend, I'll take a look with you!"

Xiao Ming hurriedly pulled me upstairs, and said as he walked, "Why the hell are you dying?" Xiao Ming said nervously

It was this morning that I got up and found my friend's eyes white and motionless. When I heard this, I rushed into Xiao Ming's house, and Xiao Ming pointed to the fish tank and said, ". .

1. If the horse settles down, the horse is not a thousand miles away, but a stubborn donkey that can't be pulled. 2. If the horse is flattened, beating the horse is an illegal act to punish the horse - to cheat non-stop. 3. If the horse is the master of the house, there will no longer be all the politeness, the sycophant will shine, and the anti-guest will be the main thing, and he will be ready to stay in the new home.

4. If the horse is very tired, the horse is mainly used as a cow as a horse, and it revolves around the owner all day long, which is simply a pack mule. 5. If the horse has a swollen back and the scenery is no longer there, it can only be a low-key horse and act as a camel that bears humiliation. 6. There is a wonder right away, the pride of the horse is swept away, the good man is bullied, and the good horse is ridden.

1 The rich man is about to return to the West. God asked him: Do you have anything else to take with you?

The rich man opened his mouth and said: My house, my car, my wealth, all have to be taken away. God asked again

What else? The rich man took his last breath and said: My wife, you have to stay!

2 colleagues asked the man: How do you feel about marrying such a wife? The man asked rhetorically:

If you know Jiangsu and Zhejiang dialects, what is it called? The colleague replied: Wu language.

3. The wife asked excitedly: Do you know what happiness index is? The husband muttered:

With such a family, what happiness index can we talk about? What the? My wife's ears were too pointed, and she slapped her.

And ask loudly: What is the happiness index of our family? Husband, touched the palm print on his face,..

The seller is very nice. This time, the scrambled God charged the phone bill to the United States, and the seller insisted on calling Obama in person, asking the United States to return the funds. Obama was also very upright, and without saying a word, he sent 500,000 yuan to China Mobile to alleviate the loss and apologize.

China Mobile charged 300,000 yuan in taxes, and finally refunded 200,000 yuan to the stupid seller to apologize. The seller is also a straightforward person, and charged 50% of the fee, asking me 100,000 yuan and supplementing 50 yuan in phone bills. Since Alipay does not support the transfer of huge amounts of funds, and I don't have a bank card, the seller actually came to the door in person and handed me a bank card containing 100,000 yuan with both hands.

I was impressed by the seller's enthusiasm and sincerity, and I was also pleased with the seller's positive handling. Thank you seller!

1, Tang Seng and his entourage went to the West Heaven to ask the Buddha for the true scriptures, and the Buddha ordered Ananda and Jiaye to pass on the scriptures to him! I never thought that the two Venerables would ask Tang Seng for a bribe! Tang Seng said:

The poor monk has no longevity, if the two Venerable Ones pass on my sutra first, I will immediately become rich, and then I will be able to thank the two of you! His Holiness said: How is this possible!

Tang Seng smiled and said: I got the scriptures, standing up to become a Buddha, the two must know, the Buddha will have six golden bodies, and then the danders are gold dust, what a type of Min Dan is rich! 2, Guanyin Bodhisattva asked Tang monks and apprentices:

Which of you is the stupidest among your masters and apprentices! Everyone pointed to Bajie in unison! Bajie immediately retorted:

Someone stupider than me! Bodhisattva: Who is it?

Bajie: It's my senior brother Sha! Sha Seng asked rhetorically

How can I be stupider than you? Bajie: Let me ask you, how do you carry our luggage?..?

1. In the middle of the night, the child had a high fever, I tested the child's body temperature and wanted to clear the thermometer back to its original position, but I threw it hard and fell to the ground, so I had to go out and buy another one. 2. Once, a beautiful woman yelled at me Nunu, I thought she was interesting to me, and was about to give her a flying kiss, but she spit out and took a mouthful of saliva, which made me very disgusted. 3. Once, I drank yogurt without scissors, and bit it with my teeth, but I used too much force, and one of my teeth fell out, and the yogurt sprayed me all over the face.

4. I learned a foreign language with a puppy, and he only taught me one word: wang!I learned from the kitten, and it taught me another word:

Meow. I learned from the frog, and it taught me one word: roll-quack.

I learned composition from mosquitoes, and it taught me "tattoos"; I learned to sing with the bees, they taught me to "buzz", they taught me to do injections, and they were very happy with my bravery. 5. When I saw an acquaintance in front of me, I quietly stepped forward and covered his eyes, but he grabbed my wrist.

Parents want their children to grow taller, and the current Ji Shu Zheng girls like their children to be rich and handsome. Gao Ke is in the first place, so parents always make up for this and that for their children. But one child hated growing taller, and his mother asked him why.

Child: "Mom, I'm taller, if the sky falls, I'll be crushed to death first!" Mom was amused when she heard this, and said:

Silly boy! The sky won't fall! So don't worry!

You see how tall your dad is, it's fine! Daddy: "Well, it's right for the child to listen to your mother!"

Child: "But, Mom, didn't you say that there will be a lot of girls who like it?" And when the time comes, the male classmates will beat me!

Mom: "Yes! When the time comes, I won't be afraid that I won't be able to marry a daughter-in-

Why did the male classmate hit you? Child: "They beat me because I robbed all my girlfriends and I married them when the time came."

Lao Wang likes to drink outside, but when he comes home to see his wife, he is respectful, every time he gets drunk and comes home, his wife locks the door and has no way to enter the door, so he can only climb the wall to enter the ......houseOne day, there was a lot of wine, and it was still ...... climbing the wall to go homesnapped, lost control and fell down ......After living in the hospital for a long time to recover, he was laughed at by his friends, and Lao Wang was embarrassed ......Drink again on this day, friend: Lao Wang, drink less, don't climb the wall again and go back, and fall ...... againLao Wang: I definitely won't climb the wall today, I don't believe you ...... itThe friend followed Lao Wang to the door of the house, only to see Lao Wang kicking at the door, swearing and ......swearing in his mouthFriend:

What are you doing? Don't be afraid that your wife will get up and ...... youLao Wang: What are you afraid of, Lao Tzu is the greatest, and today I have to take this evil breath ......Friend:

It seems that after you fall, Lao Wang, Lao Chunpo doesn't dare to bother with you anymore? Wang: She's not at home today.

I'm shouting for help, people are going to kill me. The dog shook his head and said, "Who will save your life, you can only blame you for being too healthy, if only you had to be popular."

The chicken said, "I regret it so much, if I had made a soup chicken, maybe I would have caught a cold." 2. The dog walked to the aquatic product stall at the farmers' market, and suddenly a carp jumped out of the pond.

The dog barked at the carp, and the carp said, "I'm not a mouse, what do you shout." The dog said

I see you are in danger of your life, do you want to do it? The carp said, "I'm going to commit suicide by jumping into the river, so leave me alone." ”

1, Sun Wu was walking on the road and suddenly met a fly. Fly said: I'm dying of hunger, give me something to eat, and I'll give you a little pointer.

Sun Wudao: But I don't have anything to eat! Fly Road:

I don't want much, just on me. Sun Wu: My stomach is empty and I can't pull it out.

Fly Road: Then there should be some boogers! Sun Wu then dug up some boogers for it.

When the flies had eaten their fill, they said to him, "I will give you the advice to "put (dead) on the ground and live again." Sun Wuyu was enlightened and wrote "The Art of War".

2. As the saying goes, things gather by like, and people are divided by groups. After a person dies, walking through Huangquan Road, similar people will also unconsciously come together. Three Han Dynasty people came to the underworld together.

Hades said: All the names and occupations are reported. The first one stepped forward and said:

I'm Zhang Heng, who built the geodynamic instrument. Second.

Rat: When encountering a life-threatening moment, people chased and beat them, and immediately caught a master's treasure as a hostage, and threw a rat bogey, and the owner was definitely reluctant to do it, and he could escape. Cow:

Never drive over the speed limit, nine times out of ten disasters, so walk carefully, snail digging cattle steps, should not hurt the ants under the feet, and you can go in and out safely. Tiger: As the king of beasts, he is majestic, but he must also guard against reckless cattle attacks, and newborn calves are not afraid of tigers.

Rabbit: Learn the lesson of waiting for the core of the rabbit pants, often change his whereabouts, cunning rabbit three holes, move frequently, and evade pursuit. Dragon:

The wisest thing to do is to rely on the power of the tiger, the hidden dragon crouching tiger, and the tiger as a security guard, so that you can live and work in peace and contentment. Snake: In order to save your life, hit the snake seven inches, and slide in an S shape to avoid being hit to the vital parts.

Horse: Hunters specialize in sloppy eyes, always vigilant against bullets flying, so as to save the eyes from being blinded and rough, and have no eyes.

How long it takes to wake up in the morning depends on your ability to hold your pee!

1. Wu Xuru's "report!" The teacher said, "Why are you late again?"

I'm sorry, I'm a student in the next class, and I went to the wrong classroom! 2. The Chinese teacher is in class and assigns an essay question: "My Dream", Student A:

My dream is to have 5 days off and 2 days of classes. Student B: My dream is that when the state issues a document that teachers are not allowed to assign homework.

Study C: My dream is that while I am sleeping, the teacher will not wake me up, let alone ask me questions, so as not to cause panic. 3. At the end of the mid-term exam, the head teacher summarized and found that a student who usually had very unsatisfactory grades got the top three in the history exam, and the head teacher gave a key praise, and then another student suddenly stood up:

Report to the teacher, he sat next to me during the exam and copied my test paper, why did he get third and I got fifth? The head teacher thought for a moment: "Maybe he is the word of the town."

Landlord: Boys always like to take off their shirts when they fight in groups, that girl? Re: If a girl takes off her top, oh, it's going to be a feast.