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I used to be too....Check out The Law of Attraction....
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When getting along with friends, always listen to other people's opinions, which means that you are a very unassertive person, a person, first of all, you must have a distinct personality, if you live without yourself, then others will definitely not take you seriously. It's okay to care about other people's evaluation of you, but if you care too much, there will be a problem, don't refuse to contact others, relax your mentality, others' evaluation of you can make you better change yourself, better find out what you are not good about, get along with others, the most important thing is to be sincere, to trust, you don't have good friends, the main responsibility is on you, trust others a little more, who said you are not good, you have to introspect first, see if you are really what he said, and then correct, If not, you don't need to rush to explain, speak with facts.
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Ay... Another fellow believer ...
Me too, but if you think like this, you will feel that the farther away they are from you... It was better when I talked to them seriously. Because I know that everything is overthought by myself ...
Keep it as simple as possible... To tell you the truth, who doesn't say something behind anyone's back...
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Pursuit of perfection, fear of doing the wrong thing, fear of leaving a bad impression on others.
It's hard to change the state determined by personality factors, but I really want to change it. It's still a perfectionist idea.,I always feel that I can't get in tune with everyone.,Very unwilling.。。
Related Observations. Why don't you put forward your own opinions and always go along with others? One is the fear of hurting other people who have raised opinions, as if they are against them.
Second, they are afraid that others will laugh at them, saying that their opinions are ridiculous and bad. The third is that if your opinion is accepted, but the result is not good, you will be scolded.
In fact, the above problems are all pseudo-problems and do not exist. Because think about it, when did you ever think about the opinions of others? What do you think of the person who gave the opinion?
Has anyone had an opinion, and has anyone blamed the person who gave the opinion because it was bad? Very little, very little.
If you don't always express your opinions, it will make people feel that you are alienating them. People want to be right and others are always wrong, so if you make a little silly occasionally, others will only think you are cute.
In fact, people rarely notice what you are thinking, so you do everything carefully, in the feelings of others, maybe you are alienating them. You feel like people are away from you, but they may not know how to approach you because you always protect yourself so well.
In fact, many of the problems you are worried about do not actually exist. For example, if you think someone says something bad about you, in fact, this is also normal, what do you want to say when you talk to your friends, political and military? You're going to speak ill of others, too.
Others say you're bad, so what, everyone has good and bad, and you're not afraid of what others say if you do it.
It doesn't matter if the Lord doesn't take the initiative to contact, if it's really a friend, you won't be afraid of rejection, and you will naturally connect. It's really a friend, so it doesn't matter if you don't keep in touch for a long time.
Let go a little, whether you can be friends or not, you have to walk and see, there is no need to worry, just let it be.
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You've found the answer, "I care too much......That is, don't pay too much attention to what others say.
Go your own way and let others say go. But the path you take must not have an impact on others, it is not harmful to others, and stick to it!
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Adjust your mentality and don't know how to see a psychiatrist
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1. In most cases, you will consider the thoughts and feelings of others, and ignore your own feelings and thoughts in many cases, because in the subconscious of such people, there are feelings of being ignored and afraid of being abandoned, so when this kind of person gets along with others, he will take more of a flattering way to socialize. Therefore, in many cases, such people will suppress their true emotions.
2. Maybe when you are young, you are often taught to be an obedient and sensible child, and rarely express your feelings and thoughts, so it is not important to be cultivated into your own feelings and ideas, only by making the people around you happy, you will be praised, and only if you do what others think, you will get some things you want.
3. Their self-understanding is not clear enough, so when they get along with others, they will blur the boundary between themselves and the people around them, so it will also lead to such people when they get along with others, they will take the feelings and thoughts of others as their true evaluation of themselves, so there will be a certain boundary is not clear, so that they will care too much about the evaluation of others about themselves, and in the end, they will fall into a trap set by themselves, that is, a learned helplessness.
4. Pay too much attention to others' evaluation of themselves, in fact, they are also very sensitive people, but there will also be certain benefits, which are reflected in the fact that such people will capture the thoughts and feelings of others faster, and they can also deal with things more empathetically. In addition, this kind of person will become more detailed and cautious about doing things or people, so I still want to say that everything will have a good side, not only a bad side, but you take the bad side too seriously.
I have summarized some methods, I hope it can help you better.
1) To know yourself correctly, to see your own strengths and weaknesses. Integrate your strengths and weaknesses and get to know yourself again.
2) The evaluation given to you by others does not require you to accept it all, but to accept it selectively.
3) The Courage to Be Hated is a great book to take the time to peruse more.
4) Establish a moderate boundary line to sort out your own and others' feelings and thoughts, rather than attributing some of others' feelings and thoughts to yourself.
5) Spend more time with yourself and know what you think in your heart, so as to enrich yourself more.
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Adjust your mentality, focus on yourself, strive to improve your overall strength, don't care about the evaluation of others, and live yourself seriously.
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You can make more friends, participate in more activities that you are good at, and make yourself more confident, knowing that life belongs to you, not to others.
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First of all, we need to realize that there are real benefits to taking into account the evaluations and opinions of others, and it allows us to quickly adjust our words and actions to the current environment. But as we become more integrated, how do we start to feel uncomfortable and even miserable?
Because our brains are very easy to form inertia, once we have benefited from relying on the evaluation and opinions of others to adjust our words and actions, we will subconsciously call this way of behavior as the default way of behavior. So much so that many evaluations and opinions that do not need to be considered at all, we are also subconsciously affected by them. Because different people have different evaluations and views on us, one moment is good and one time is bad, and one time is east and one time west, this adds a lot of extra thinking burden to our brains, and when we decide on words and deeds, we unconsciously carry a lot of ideological baggage, and it is always these meaningless burdens that make us feel tired and miserable.
So what can we do to free ourselves from this curse? First of all, we need to abandon the saying that we don't care what others say, just be ourselves. People naturally have social needs, how can they do it regardless of what others say?
So this is doomed to fail. Secondly, we need to be clear about our goal, which is to make ourselves happy. A large part of happiness comes from gaining the affirmation of society and others, so our direction should be to find strong projects and build self-worth.
If we regard a person as a company, we must have a flagship product to survive if we want to gain the affirmation of society and others. We must shift our attention from external evaluation to ourselves, find superior products, and make every effort to create and improve superior products. The better our flagship products, the stronger our sense of self-worth, and naturally we don't need to rely on other people's evaluations to bless our sense of worth.
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First of all, this kind of people are always timid to do things, because they always have to consider others' views and evaluations of themselves before doing anything, and always want to do things to be perfect, so that others can't find faults, so that others can have a higher evaluation of themselves, in today's fast-paced society, but I don't know that when you consider other people's views and evaluations of you, the opportunity to do things will pass by you, so that life will leave regrets everywhere.
In fact, everyone will not do anything flawlessly, everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, in the field you are good at, you will do things very well, but in the field that you are not good at, you will not do things well, "no one is perfect, gold is not enough" Sometimes do things really don't care too much about other people's opinions and evaluations of themselves, don't look at everything important, others may also have some verbal evaluations of you, and you will forget it after you are done.
When you feel that others have some bad opinions and evaluations about you, you can comfort yourself appropriately, for example, you can say to yourself, go my own way, others can say whatever they want, and my mouth grows on them, and I can't stop their mouths. You can also say to yourself, who can still have no personality, no temper, no hidden skills or something.
All in all, if you want to live a happy life, don't care too much about what others think and say about you.
Caring too much about other people's opinions and evaluations of yourself shows that you are not confident, lack the truth of things, and the ability to distinguish between right and wrong. A confident person has his own evaluation of others' opinions and evaluations. The right and the wrong are left to their own devices.
I'll go my own way and let others do what they say. Warm and cold self-aware, everything depends on yourself. Whether it's other people's praise or ridicule, don't care too much, grasp the direction of your own efforts, see your own way forward, work hard for your own happiness, don't mind other people's evaluations too much, and miss your own itinerary.
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1.Deal with confidence: Be confident and confident in the way you dress, and don't care too much about comments from colleagues. Believe in your choices and constantly improve your awareness of your own worth and self-esteem.
2.Direct communication: If a colleague's comment makes you feel uncomfortable, you can talk to them directly. Please express your feelings respectfully and tell them that you want them to respect your personal choices.
3.Light-hearted humor: Respond to a colleague's comment with humor, such as making fun of people with a joke. This will ease the awkwardness and convey to your colleagues that you don't care about their comments.
4.Seek support: Share your feelings with other colleagues or friends and ask for their advice and support. Sometimes, talking to people who have had similar experiences will give you some new solutions or perspectives.
5.Ignore or divert attention: When a colleague starts commenting on your outfit, don't pay too much attention to what they think. Try to focus on your work and focus on your responsibilities and accomplishments.
Whichever method you choose, be calm and polite, and be respectful of yourself and others. It takes time and patience to deal with situations like this, but eventually you'll be able to find a solution that works for you.
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It's normal to pay a moderate attention to what others say about you, because we are all part of social life, and relationships and other people's perceptions are important for both mental health and social interaction. However, caring too much about what others say about you can have some negative consequences:
Impaired self-worth: Relying too much on the evaluation of others to measure one's worth can lead to a wave of self-worth that can affect self-confidence.
Anxiety and stress: Constant worry about what others think and say can increase anxiety and stress, making you worry too much about your performance.
Relationship problems: Paying too much attention to what others say can make you overly sensitive and make it difficult to build healthy relationships, as you may be constantly worried about how others will react.
Self-restraint: Fear that other people's comments may limit your freedom by making you too restrictive to express your true thoughts and feelings.
Mood swings: If your mood is influenced by other people's evaluations, you may experience mood swings, especially when other people's feedback isn't as good as you expected.
It's reasonable to pay a moderate amount of attention to what others are saying, but being overly concerned can affect your mood and sense of self-worth. It's important to find a balance that maintains healthy self-esteem and self-confidence while also not completely ignoring the opinions of others. Building an inner sense of self and a strong belief in your own worth can help you better deal with other people's evaluations without letting them affect your emotions and decisions.
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In life, when you do something or talk to someone, do you care a lot about what others think of you? Do you want to ask people what others say about you in many ways? There are positive and negative perceptions, but you can't always hear positive comments, and if it's negative, will you be depressed, sad, angry?
If so, it can lead to a lack of ways for you to focus on your own main things. Below I will introduce five ways to slowly eliminate from the heart so that you will no longer care about what others think of you, and truly be a confident, sunny self. First, don't project emotionally.
You spend a lot of time worrying about what other people think of you. But what do you think of yourself? Insecurity is an inner experience.
If you don't feel safe, it's because you don't have confidence in yourself. Without that confidence, you can't embody the kind of person you want to show the world. For example, let's say you're starting a new job, and you're struggling to keep up.
Now you're worried that your colleagues will criticize you. But the truth is, you're criticizing yourself, you think you're incompetent, so you're worried that other people will say the same thing. This mental tool is called projection.
Second, distinguish between important opinions. You'll meet hundreds or thousands of people in your lifetime. Some of them are lifelong friends, others are acquaintances you'll never see again.
So if you want to stop what people think thinks, you need to make an important distinction, whose opinion do I value? Who should I ignore? Many people give too much weight to the opinions of strangers, and they can't tell the difference between meaningful opinions and superficial opinions.
Let's say you have dozens of friends and you're constantly surrounded by people, but none of those people know you beneath the surface. If all your friendships are superficial and short-lived, it feels like everyone's opinion matters.
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