Funny joke! Hurry, hurry!

A beautiful woman got off the night shift and was followed by a man of one color, the beautiful woman was very scared, and was passing by a cemetery, and the man was about to start, and the beautiful woman walked to a grave and said, "Dad, open the door, I'm back". The frightened man ran away.

The beautiful woman laughed proudly at her cleverness, but before the laughter fell, an eerie voice came from the grave and said, "Girl, why have you forgotten to bring your key again?" Frightened, the beauty screamed and ran away.

At this time, a grave robber crawled out of the grave and said, "It affects my work and scares you to death". Suddenly found an old man in front of the tombstone, holding a chisel to carve the tombstone, so he asked strangely:

What are you doing"? The old man said angrily: "These unscrupulous descendants have carved my tombstone wrongly, and they have to change it themselves."

When the tomb robbers heard this, they were so frightened that they ran away. Looking at the back of the tomb robber, the old man sneered: "Robbing business with Lao Tzu will scare you to death."

Accidentally, the chisel fell to the ground, and the old man was about to bend down to pick it up, but he saw a hand stretched out from the grass, and at the same time there was a cold voice: "Ah, dare to change the house number of my house." The old man was so frightened that he ran off the ground.

A scavenger crawled out of the grass, picked up a chisel on the ground, and exclaimed, "In these days, it takes so much effort to pick up a piece of rotten iron." ”

Description: Mike and his wife, Linda, walk on a forest path in the evening.

Suddenly, a robber jumped out of the tree, and he shouted with a sharp blade: "Stop! I want your wife—".

Ahh

The robber continued: "—the leather bag on your body, the necklace around your neck!" ”

The robbers succeeded and fled.

Mike talked to a friend about it afterwards and said, "It was really dangerous! ”

Friend: "It's just some external objects, as long as your husband and wife are safe and sound!" ”

Mike: "When I say good risk, I don't mean robbers, but when he said the first half of the sentence, I almost shouted the word 'for you' in front of Linda!" ”

Three shops are lined up.

The one on the left put up a large slogan: "Big price cut, big sale!" ”

The one on the right showed no weakness, and there were also two large advertisements: "Big selling, big discounts." ”

In the middle of the house hung only a small sign that read "Entrance".

It's all funny.

A conversation between a girl and a boy.

F: I like you.

M: Really? What do you like about me?

F: I like you to stay away from me

Xiao Ming's mother is a teacher, and one plus one is equal to three thousand six hundred and eight.

Xiao Ming's father is a police officer, and he jumps off a cliff on a wall.

Xiao Ming's grandmother buys yogurt, but no one buys it if it is not garbage.

Xiao Ming's grandfather learned from Lei Feng, and the urinal rushed forward.

Xiao Ming ate your rice? Joke about him every day.

At dusk, I was jogging on the industrial road.

A young man ran up from behind me and shouted in my ear, "Run! ”

What happened? I asked the young man next to me.

Run. "The young man ran ahead of me.

After a quick chase of 500 meters, I panted and asked, "What happened?" ”

You're running too slow. The young man left me and ran on his own.

A: "Old man, why did you pour other people's wheat into your own sack?" ”

B: "Because I'm a half-madman!" ”

A: "If you're half-crazy, why don't you pour your own wheat into someone else's sack?" ”

B: "Then I'm a complete madman!" ”

A asks B: What are the benefits of small eyes?

B said, "The sand is not easy to get into!"

A also asked, "What are the disadvantages of small eyes?"

B thought about it and said, "Once the sand goes in, it's not easy to come out!"

Do you know who is good to you in the summer? Mosquitoes give you a big red envelope from time to time. You have to ask for a big red envelope, you have to ask for a small red envelope, you have to do it or not, and you have to stuff it into you.

Your zipper isn't closed! Comedy!

In elementary school class, the female teacher's pants were unzipped.

The female teacher waved her hand indifferently and said, "Whatever it is, the teaching director will come to visit in a while." ”

One time I went to a ramen shop too early, and a beautiful girl was waiting in line. When she arrived, the ramen chef asked, "Do you want thick or thin?" The girl replied: I will eat whatever you pull.

Level 4 is awarded 5 points. It's really slamming the door.

A new way to get rich: Prepare an opaque black box, and put 20 yuan in it with your friends. Now, there's 40 dollars in the box.

Repeatedly emphasized the value of 40 yuan to distract him, and then said to his friend, I will sell you this box for 30 yuan. Your friend will not hesitate to accept the deal.

One day, the teacher asked Xiao Ming: 1+1=? Xiao Ming said he didn't know.

Xiao Ming went to ask his brother again, his brother was taking a bath, and his brother said, cool. When Xiao Ming went to his grandmother's house, he met Hanako, and Xiao Ming asked Hanako, 1+1=?. Hanako said, do you want xx (swearing) right?

Xiao Ming went to his grandmother's house and said, Grandpa, 1+1=?. Grandpa said, I don't know about your grandpa, and later, Xiao Ming went to class 3 of the first grade, and the teacher said, 1+1=?Xiao Ming?

Xiao Ming said, oops, I don't recognize it. The teacher stepped Xiao Ming under the desk, and Xiao Ming said, cool. The teacher pulled Xiao Ming out and gave him a few slaps, Xiao Ming said, do you want xx?

The teacher threw Xiao Ming out of the door, and the teacher said what is 1+1? Xiao Ming said, I don't know about your grandfather. .

Later, the school expelled Xiao Ming, which was really a big misunderstanding.

It's my joke, it's my original.

Also, my dad told me a joke that was a bit short:

Once upon a time there was a man who spewed out the door!

Once upon a time there was a man who was bored, and then, died...

In order to cope with the exam, Xiao Ming memorized words every day, and was admitted to the hospital because of overwork.

One day, Xiao Ming was memorizing English words, and his classmates came to see him.

Classmates asked him what the doctor said. (that is, to ask about the condition, to ask the doctor what to say about his condition)

A fool learns to count, five or five numbers, and the teacher teaches one-on-one for a long time, saying, learned. The teacher told him to count the abacus, how many are there? Just count:

One-five, one-ten. Fifteen, twenty. Twenty-five-one, ten, fifteen-twenty.

After counting, there are 20 in total. The teacher's eyes almost fell out. Thumbs up!

"The Son-in-law and Father-in-law of People Have Three Urgencies" detonated laughter, and it was a joke when they met for the first time!

1: The sky, the earth, Dou E is more wronged than me! 2：

Helped LP buy WSJ, but I didn't know what to buy when I went to the store for a long time, so I took a random pack and asked the owner: "Boss, is this easy to use?" "The boss (the man) looked at me for 5 seconds and said:

I haven't used this either! ”

3: When I was a child, my dad watched me write essays. There was a very simple mistake, and my father smiled and said to my mother

I found your son stupid. I was anxious and said loudly to my father, "Your son is stupid!"

B 4: Soldiers come to cover the water 5: My mother once went to the bank to pay the water bill.

After paying the money, the bank man said, "You don't have enough money, there is a second page here, and you have to pay this too."

My Mom: What's the second page.