Modern stories and humorous stories who will write

Vice Governor Zhong Species Fish Yan.

Mr. Silva and Mr. Pereira are very good friends. One Sunday night, they were drinking beer in Mr. Silva's apartment.

Neither gentleman had a family, so they each hired a servant to take care of the house for them, and sometimes run errands for them.

After a few beers, they turned their conversation to the maid. Mr. Pereira said that his servant, Banda, was the stupidest servant in the world.

Forget it, if you can prove that Banda is more stupid than my servant Chunda, I will not be a man. Mr. Silva said.

Okay, I'll prove it to you. So saying, Mr. Pereira called his servant over and handed him ten rupees, "Banda, take the money and go to the car shop on the corner of the street and buy me a car." Banda walked away in a huff.

Mr. Pereira, look how stupid my maid is! ”

Hmph, you think that's stupid enough? Wait a minute, look at my servant. Mr. Silva called in and gave him two rupees. "Take these two rupees and take the car to my office to find my secretary and ask if I am in the office. ”

No problem, sir. Chungda walked out the door with the money.

After the servants left, the two gentlemen quarreled again, and they both tried to convince each other that their servants were the stupidest in the world. At this moment, their servants Banda and Chungda are out on the road to serve them. On a street corner, two servants meet unexpectedly.

Chungda, did you see that? Banda said, "I think the master I met was the stupidest in the world." ”

No, Banda, my master is the stupidest in the world. ”

Chungda, you see how stupid my master is, he just gave me 10 rupees and told me to buy him a car! This fool, doesn't he know that car dealerships are closed on Sundays? ”

You think that's stupid enough? My host just gave me two rupees and asked me to go to his office and see if he was there. This fool doesn't know, call ** to his office and ask, it only costs one rupee, and you don't need to give me two at all. ”

3. In front of the meat stall, the city hall took 2 catties of meat and handed over 100 yuan, and the butcher: I can't find it, I'll give it next time;

In front of the vegetable stall, the city pavilion took two bags of vegetables and handed over 100 yuan, and the vegetable seller: I can't find it, I'll give it next time;

In front of the fruit stall, Hanhong of the city hall took 1 watermelon and handed it 100 yuan, and found 85 yuan. Later, people never saw the big shed selling fruit again...

If you look for a biography of a literary master, there must be one.

During class, an old man was playing with his mobile phone, unfortunately, he was found by the head teacher outside the window, and the head teacher didn't want to interrupt the class, so he sent a text message to the classmate, intended to remind him. Unfortunately, the student didn't save the head teacher's **, so he replied to the text message: Who, go to class.

The head teacher replied: Look out the window! Dude replied:

Thanks, the head teacher is staring at it, and I'll talk about it after class.

Once I was going to the United States with a few colleagues to buy things to take with me in the supermarket, at this time, an American in the supermarket came to greet him in standard Shanghainese, and my colleagues sweated profusely, and after chatting for a while, I realized that this foreigner was an American descendant who stayed in China during the Anti-Japanese War, and his colleagues asked him:"How is your English? "The foreigner patted his thigh and said:

Damn, English is so hard to learn.

One day, I was more beautiful and handsome than you, and I said I was beautiful, and you didn't believe me, and you said that you were handsome, and I didn't believe it, and the next day, I went to the zoo to see the monkeys, and I cried, and when you went to see the monkeys in the afternoon, the monkeys cried.

The meaning of which is not explained hehe!

Just kidding.