Why it s always me who gets hurt about interpersonal communication

I understand you very well because I have had similar experiences with you. But when I grow up and mature, it's not so simple to see the problem. Understand that there is an evil side to human nature, and there are many people who are different from you.

If you give your heart unconditionally, people will not cherish it so much, and some evil people will even take advantage of it. You think everyone is good, that's not right. First of all, open your eyes and observe, there are good and bad people in this world, even if they are good people, they are not so absolute.

Therefore, when interacting with people, you must be cautious, especially if you don't know so well. It's hard to make one or two true friends in your life, don't treat everyone as a true friend, but if you really make such good friends, you should cherish them.

The world is what it is, not what you think it is. Don't make the mistake of being subjective and naïve, and look at the problem objectively, so that you don't feel overly hurt. Most people will not give you a certificate because of your kindness, but will only think you are stupid.

If you really have the heart to do good, you must strengthen your beliefs when you see the reality clearly, pay attention to the ways and means when doing good, and fight against evil. Therefore, not everyone deserves to be a good person, being a good person is bound to fight against the wicked, no immortal emperor will help you, you can only rely on yourself.

There are some things that, if it's a regular thing, don't take it seriously, and you have to learn it once in a while!

Occasionally, they will cherish it, and if it's not occasional, they just think that it's okay to be regular anyway.

That being said, it's a bit scattered, so let's summarize it yourself!

Don't want this kind of friend, after all, it's not sincere.

A true friend is often focused on how you feel. He will cherish what you cherish.

You're really stupid, people have a lot of eyes these days, and simple people like you are going to suffer.

Good fences make good neighbors. Paying with your heart and heart shows that you are sincere, but you must also have the eye to recognize people, remember that things are gathered by like, people are grouped, and you must find friends who are connected with your heart.

Give someone a taste of their own medicine. "The first time I heard this sentence was in the TV series "Dragon Babu", this is Murong Fu's stunt, no matter what martial arts the other party has, he can return the favor with his own way. Although he didn't like Murong Fu, he was envious of his skills.

Since then, I have taken this sentence as my criterion for dealing with the world: if others vote for me as Zheng Da Mutao, I will repay it with Qiong Yao; If anyone speaks evil against them, I will return the favor with a tooth for a tooth. It's always easier said than done.

gleefully showing off report cards to meet indifferent parents; The plan of staying up late and working overtime was criticized by the boss for being useless; Talking about the new movie with interest, I found that the lovers were not interested, and ......At such times, it seems so powerless to "treat others in their own way".

Slowly, I learned to take the other person's attitude as my own standard, and constantly adjust my state by observing the other person's face, so that my own attitude and the other person's attitude complement each other's attitude.

even kept telling himself: if the other party is zero, then he will freeze instantly; If the other party is fifty degrees, then he is tepid; If the other party is one, then it will boil over itself. However, when getting along with those close to you, you will still go back and forth between joy and loss and hurt, and you will also realize that "treating others the way they are" is just a trick of self-deception.

Why do we always get hurt? At the end of the day, it's about weighing the pros and cons too much in your interpersonal interactions. From the beginning, I have hopes for the other person or set a course and set a scene, ask the other person to respond to me with the same enthusiasm, and even think that if I put in the effort for the relationship, there must be "such a result".

When you don't get the expected return, you may become dissatisfied and become harsh on others, so as to alleviate your own resentment.

I agree with what Haruki Murakami wrote in his book "What I Talk About When I Run": "I realize that I am nothing more than a tiny piece of color in the great mosaic of nature; Just like the water in the river, it is just a part of nature that flows under the bridge to the sea, and can be replaced. ”

In any relationship, we always use the attitude of others to measure our own efforts and values, shouting and forgetting that the initial relationship is just from our own inner pleasure. It is also easy to overestimate the weight of oneself in the other person's life, thus putting oneself in the vortex of disappointment.

In interpersonal communication, loss is the norm, and you don't have to be entangled in the other party's hot and cold, and you don't need to be embarrassed about yourself. If your heart is happy, what if it doesn't stop boiling? If there is no reverie, what if it is cold and cold?

You don't have to be dead to each other, you should be honest with your heart, be bold and move forward, believe me, you will like yourself like this!