Why do you feel like your relatives are no longer so close?

Why do I feel like my relatives are not as close as they used to be? Xiaobai thinks that there are mainly the following three reasons, let's study them with you.

First, the older generation is gone.

Because there are generally several children in the family in the past, so when the old man is alive, every time it comes to the New Year, or some more important festivals, everyone will come to the old man, then everyone will live together for a period of time, communicate with each other more, and with the loss of time, every child has become an old man, has their own children, but most of the children now are only children, in recent years only let go of the second child, And the parents of so many children are no longer there, and without parents, children will naturally not always go back to the house to have a look, so the older generation is gone, and the next generation will naturally have less contact, so the relatives are not so close.

Second, the development of science and technology.

The houses used to be next to each other, and how could there be high-rise buildings, they were all bungalows, at most a few floors of small buildings, there were nothing decent at home, and the pace of life was not fast, so when there was time, relatives and friends liked to get together to chat, and watch the Spring Festival Gala together. And now, mobile phones are so developed, technology is so developed, almost everyone doesn't watch the Spring Festival Gala much, more in the Spring Festival Gala to grab red envelopes, and mobile phones are so convenient, often relatives and friends are also through ** to visit the New Year, or mobile phone WeChat, rarely meet to talk, so this also leads to the estrangement of the relationship between relatives.

Third, the distance is far away.

Now that the transportation industry is developed, many children have gone to school in other places, and parents may naturally follow the past, once relatives and friends are in a city, it can be said that it doesn't take long to walk, but now it is not good, you can't always take a car to go to the field in order to see each other, so this is also a major reason for alienating relatives.

Now the family relationship is simply walking on thin ice, what kind of love is like the one in the TV series, the current family affection is measured according to who has money, it is so realistic, the trust of people and people is also smashed with money, although money is not omnipotent, but no money is absolutely impossible, it determines whether you have the right to speak and symbols. <>

The previous taste of family affection of relatives does not exist anymore, and even now the New Year is sitting together and comparing, and the anxiety of eating after a meal is no longer the previous hush and warmth, and the life is long and short. Sitting together, they all talked about how the children's grades were, whether they got the scholarship from the school, and what first prize they won this year. <>

The women sat together and either talked about the skin care products used, cosmetics and other brands that were good and had good results, or they were showing off and saying that they had bought a coat of what brand this year and cost thousands of dollars, and then they sat together and talked about how the children's grades were, whether they had won a scholarship from the school, and what first prize they won this year, and then there were a bunch of people praising and flattering, and the men were saying how big a list they had received this year and how much money they had earned. Which leader has a better relationship, if there is anything, I will talk to him, there is no problem that cannot be solved, every time I see such a scene, I want to escape, but if I go, I will say how can I be so ignorant, how can you talk to the elders of the family, and then there is a count, but sitting there is like sitting on pins and needles. <>

When did everyone start to become like this, no longer able to talk about some heart-wrenching words like before, and even dare not say in front of relatives that their children are not sensible, disobedient or something, when someone says so, they will be unhappy, very protective, you said that his child, even if your child is very sensible, very obedient, she can also find fault with you, and can not avoid a quarrel, the less you say on the topic of children, the better.

Now there is no sincerity between people, and now relatives are not as good as neighbors, there is a good saying, distant relatives are not as good as close neighbors, when something happens at home, or neighbors run faster, there is only comparison between relatives, or when two relatives have a relationship of interest, you say a word from it to help the other family, then you are finished, she will hate you for a lifetime, old and dead do not get along, no matter how close you were before, they have disappeared, this is family affection, If it's so weak that it will be broken into slag, it can't be put together anymore, and when you meet again, it's like a stranger, and when the comparison occupies everything, there will be no real family affection.

So, it's better to compare less and give your loved ones more hugs!

In fact, it's not that relatives don't feel so close, but in the era of the heart, everyone's life is becoming more and more busy, and everyone's life is filled with all kinds of information**, and a lot of information will be received every day, and the time is the same, a day five thousand years ago was twenty-four hours, and today's day is twenty-four hours, but what is done today receives a lot more information than before, so where does these compressed time come from? It comes from socializing with your loved ones.

It is precisely because the social interaction between each other has become diverse, and for your loved ones, because of your loved ones, no matter what you do, whether you contact him again or not, such an iron relationship is there, and in our subconscious, he is the safest. Therefore, the safest thing may not take more time to maintain it, and the social relationship between relatives and loved ones is actually different compared to other comments without social interaction. It is precisely under this traditional concept that we compress the communication time between lovers.

As a result, there is a feeling that the relatives mentioned by the questioner are no longer so close.

But what I want to say here is that this may only be a feeling rather than a reality, especially some close relatives, they have been given a special relationship since birth, so they are the safest and firmest backing for each other, such a relationship has actually surpassed the ordinary feelings, just like love finally develops into family affection to really go on, such a relationship is the safest, the most secure, so there is no need to doubt him, However, if you want to improve your sense of security and have a sense of closeness to your loved ones, you must be willing to spend more time with your loved ones, instead of being busy with unnecessary information.

Why can't you get close to your family, you feel that there is always a gap, your family is the closest person in this society, it is the blood relationship, and it is also the person who cares about you the most when you are absolutely permeable, and they will support and help you behind you in whatever you do. The reason why you feel that you can't get close to your family, and you feel estranged from your family, is because there are irreconcilable communication problems between you, and the most fundamental reason is that you have a generation gap and personality differences between you, which leads to different thinking views, which causes unnecessary misunderstandings and contradictions. You must know that the relationship between friends can be changed at any time, and the relationship between husband and wife can also change, but the blood relationship of family will never change.

But when you grow up, you have entanglements of interests, you have life troubles, and relationships are no longer so simple. If relatives, brothers and sisters are not close to you, it makes you doubt family affection. Don't worry, the real reason behind this may be these 3 points.

It's not your fault. After reading it, it suddenly became enlightened.

01 The issue of interests goes beyond the reality of family affection, whether adults are compatible or not, the first point is to look at the relevance of interests. People who can't get along again, if they have great interests, then they can also be as a family.

On the other hand, even relatives and siblings may have discord because of interests or jealousy. It's a natural thing to do. People are profit-seeking.

As long as you are an adult, you can't escape this. It is also one of the most common reasons for discord between relatives, siblings, and siblings. Here's an example.

I have seen and heard many cases of relatives and siblings having disputes over some family property after the death of their parents. In fact, if you take a closer look, most of the time, it is tens of thousands of things. The problem is that most people are ordinary people.

Limited ability to accumulate wealth on your own. Aren't you just eyeing these properties? Eager to get a little more of yourself.

So those principles and family affection are not counted. In reality, don't feel disappointed in human nature for the sake of family affection. People are born to chase fame and fortune.

This has been the case since ancient times. Everyone is a layman, and they can't be exempt from vulgarity. If you encounter this kind of dispute, just look away.

02 In reality, many people do not deal with their relatives, brothers and sisters, and the root cause is the disagreement of the three views. That is, not all the way.

So it's not pleasing to look at each other. The three views do not match, that is, the way everyone looks at things and people is different. Everyone's educational background and life experience are different.

In this case, it is uncomfortable to forcibly twist together. Here's an example. For example, you and your relatives at home may have different levels of education.

And then the work done, the income earned, are all different. On weekdays, you like to chat and surf the Internet, and he may like to play cards and drink.

What everyone likes to do is not the same. Naturally, you are not all the way. It's normal for each other to be uncomfortable.

When people reach a certain age, they no longer need to be hypocritical, but they need to face themselves. It is much happier to be around people who are similar. Don't force yourself to get along with people who are too different.

That would be tiring. 03 Lack of opportunities to get alongIn reality, feelings need to be in constant contact. If you don't get along for a long time, then there is naturally a lack of understanding. Feelings will also cool down.

This is also one of the root causes of estrangement among many relatives, brothers and sisters. Here's an example. For example, some people work outside the home.

I only go home for a few days during the Chinese New Year. At this time, I haven't seen my siblings and relatives for a year or two. Everyone is embarrassed to find a topic.

How do you dig out your heart and lungs and get along well? It's not realistic.

In reality, most people have to work to earn a living and deal with their own trivial matters. I really don't have time to manage too many relatives and siblings. So it's only natural that everyone is estranged. Don't mind.

Because the pace of life in society is very fast, everyone has little time to get together except for the New Year. In the past, the pace of life was slow, and everyone could often eat and meet together, so it was very close.

It is because the movement of relatives is not particularly frequent, and some people have moved to the city and live far away from relatives, so the relationship between relatives is not particularly good.

Because of the relationship of interests between people, many people do not know how to maintain family affection, and the desire between family affection has become a lot, so there is no feeling of kinship.

The relative is still the same relative, why is it not as close as before? Could it be that relatives are also adulterated?

People are becoming more and more reluctant to go to their relatives, to go less, or not to go, and even if they do, it may be just a form and a process.

This is mainly due to the lack of a "love" word between relatives.

When I was a child, I felt that relatives were very close, mainly because everyone's conditions were almost the same, they were relatively poor, and when they encountered any major events, everyone had to help each other.

For example, during the busy farming season of harvesting wheat and planting wheat in autumn, everyone has to help each other, such as weddings, funerals, and various major events, relatives will pool money and contribute to each other, so that this thing can be done.

So at that time, although the conditions were not good, but relatives came but will be hospitable, of course, by relatives to improve their own food, so Zen Yin to have a sentence called "relatives come to like, relatives a bowl I two bowls".

Relatives came, they ate well, relatives were happy, and they themselves rejoiced.

But now it's different, the living conditions are getting better and better, the harvest of autumn wheat is becoming more and more mechanized, I no longer need your help to help me, and the construction of houses has been contracted to the engineering team.

There are fewer opportunities for relatives to help each other, and there are naturally fewer contacts in ordinary times, and the relationship is naturally getting shallower and shallower.

In addition, the gap between the rich and the poor between relatives is getting wider and wider, even if they are close relatives, they also have the psychology of "laughing at you for being poor and hating you for having it", and the difference between the rich and the poor causes psychological imbalance, and the psychological imbalance will further weaken the emotions between relatives.

And in order to make money, many young people are open, middle-aged people go out to work all the year round, and many of them only return home once a year, and there are fewer and fewer contacts between relatives.

And the feelings are exchanged, and if you go less, the emotions will naturally fade slowly, and the annual visit to relatives during the New Year has become a form and a process.

Some relatives understand this situation, as long as the relatives come, they still greet them politely and politely, and some older ones don't quite understand, and feel that people don't really come to see them, and even push the gifts out, causing a lot of embarrassment and unhappiness, and the relatives may be broken from light.