Why would some people prefer to miss rather than open their mouths?

Inferiority complex, lack of confidence. Whether it's feelings or a lot of opportunities, I really want to fight for it in my heart, but I just can't open my mouth. It's like when I was in college, I once bought a ticket to go home.

But he had more than 100 yuan on him, which was only enough to buy a ticket. As a result, I was scared when I sold out, for fear that something would go wrong. It turned out that the next day something really went wrong.

I got up late and didn't catch the car. In fact, it is possible to change the booking within two hours after driving. But I just don't have the courage, I'm always afraid of the change fee, and the money is not enough.

So I missed the bus and didn't go home. It's really silly and ridiculous to think about it now. But sometimes, we really make this mistake of missing a lot of things because we can't open our mouths.

Because the memory of being rejected was too painful, cowardly, and I didn't want to go through it a second time. Because of low self-esteem, I don't believe that I really have the ability to make others like. If you miss it, you won't open your mouth again, and you won't open it in this life.

If you don't pierce that layer of window paper, there is at least some slight beauty and hazy suspense. Opening an opening will turn it into an ugly scar. And then live with a scar year after year, waiting for it to grow.

Human nature is lazy. When you find that confession is risky, it's easy to choose something simpler. For example, watching TV at home, playing games, and even reading books and exercising unusually; Because at this time, you are better at other things than confession, and it is simpler.

Therefore, when you are faced with whether to confess again and again, and after avoiding again and again, you don't need to be anxious about confessing if you miss the opportunity. To miss is to be at fault.

Lack of stable, secure attachmentHaving a timely, emotionally responsive attachment relationship in childhood is the basis for the development of an individual's self-esteem. If parents are insensitive to their children's physical and mental needs, cannot meet them in a timely manner, or even ignore them, it may cause emotional frustration and trauma for their children, "Even if I express my needs, there will be no response, and no one will meet me." This trauma caused by a lack of stability and secure attachment can be projected into the child's interactions with others as an adult.

They are afraid to express that they need others, and even act like they don't need to contact others. I acted like I didn't like anything because I never got what I wanted.

One day when a group of friends were having dinner together, I noticed a girl who listened quietly to our conversation, nodding her head when she heard the point of view, but never really joined the conversation. Later, when I got more acquainted with her, I whispered to her, "Oh, you're pretty quiet." She later told me very seriously

I'm scared I'm going to annoy peopleIn the past, the atmosphere was very good when others chatted, but suddenly after I joined, the atmosphere changed, and I always felt that I would ruin the good mood of others and annoy others.

That's why I never reach out to peopleI don't know if the other party wants to chat with me, and I'm afraid that the other party won't reply at all after I send it, which makes me feel even more annoying. So now I listen quietly when everyone chats, and I don't dare to take the initiative to contact others in private. ”My whole life has been quiet.