What is the role of a child in a divorced family? Kneel and beg 35

The divorce of the family has a shadow on your soul You don't want to hear and hate your mother everywhere talking about your father's no, that's because you feel that he has embarrassed you, then have you ever thought of the pain in your mother's heart, your mother because of the hardships of marriage, coupled with the hardships of life, will have some resentment in her heart, and need to vent, which you should understand her.

I also understand your mood now, because my parents are also going to divorce But I hope you can earn it, don't say some negative words, if the pain in your heart is really unbearable, say some angry words, that's okay, but the main thing is that don't let yourself go in your heart! Hehe I think if you can talk to your mother, try to communicate with her After reading your story, I can understand the confusion and grievances in your heart.

Leave them alone, be happy every day! Play more with your classmates and put your worries and hesitations behind! ~

Don't be bitter about the shadow of the past, let him be the driving force that motivates you, if you want to succeed, you can only improve yourself.

Mentality is very important, Li Bai's poem said, "I am born to be useful", don't think so much, just be yourself, but remember, children can't do it with their parents, because nothing can't, it's too rebellious, no matter what, it's your parents, maybe the parents are at fault, but the children should be considerate, they are not easy, I am also a single parent, I can understand you.

It's just a person who looks down on the ground, who wants to bully everyone when they see it, I'm one, I feel like I'm an outsider.

On this issue, who does custody of the child belong after the divorce of the parents? It is mainly judged from the age stage of the child at this time which parent needs it most, and it should be multifaceted, trying to consider the needs of the child, rather than the needs of the parents.

For example, when the child is a little baby. At this time, for parents who choose to divorce, it is best to let their children follow their mothers. Because for a child at this time, what he needs most is growth, and if you judge the child to the father at this time, it will not be beneficial to the child's smooth growth.

On the contrary, it is more up to the child's mother to raise the child at this stage.

In terms of the provisions of Chinese law, when the age of the child reaches the age of 10, there are clear regulations on which parent the child will follow after the parents divorce, and the children of this age can choose by themselves. Because at this age, the child's own consciousness already has its own opinion.

Of course, when the court decides on this phenomenon, it will also take into account the parents, for example, when one of the parents is no longer able to have children and has no other children, the existing child will generally be awarded to this parent. As for both parents, if one of the parents has domestic violence, or smokes, alcoholism, or even some vices that like to insult others, these elements will be considered in the legal judgment, and the person with these vices will not be awarded as much as possible.

I think it's too cruel for children to divorce parents, and there is no guarantee that either party will not remarry, so it's difficult to follow anyone, so if you have to choose one, follow your mother.

When the parents are divorced, I think it is better for the children to follow the parent who has more property, because they can get a better education and have a better future.

It is best to follow the one who loves her more, if the mother loves the child more, follow the mother, and if the father loves the child more, follow the father.

If the parents are divorced, the child should follow the one with the better temperament.

I think it should be on a case-by-case basis, if the child is younger, he should follow the mother, and if the child is already older, he should consider his own ideas.

If the parents are divorced, if it is a girl, it is better to follow the father as much as possible, because it can receive more education, and if it is a boy, it is the mother, because the mother can take care of his life more carefully.

Personally, I think that when parents divorce, children must be better with people who are good to them, because otherwise, if their parents remarry in the future, they may hurt themselves.

In fact, this is inaccurate, it depends on what kind of personality the specific parents are, and it needs to be analyzed specifically. It's good for some families to follow their fathers.

The specific situation, the child can follow whoever he wants, and no one can force it, but it's best not to divorce, they are all adults, and they can't say anything.

In fact, in our real life, there are many couples who remarry after divorce because of their children, and their inner thoughts are to hope to give their children a complete family. But if it were me, I don't think I would choose to remarry for the sake of the children. First of all, a broken mirror cannot be reunited.

If in married life, two people choose to divorce because of some things, then there will be problems in the relationship between the two people. But if two people remarry because of their children, the gap in the relationship cannot be repaired, that is to say, the broken mirror cannot be reunited. Even if two people remarry, the relationship between those two people will not return to the past.

Secondly, improvisation is not life. In fact, divorced couples, if they choose to remarry because of their children, the feelings between the two people will not return to the same as before, that is to say, the two people are living together. It's just that because of the bond of children, such a relationship between husband and wife will not be very good.

Therefore, in such a life, two people can't live well together, and of course, the family environment for the children of Hail will not be very good. This kind of improvising life is not the life that everyone wants at all.

Again, children will not be happy. In addition, if two people live together improvisedly, the relationship between husband and wife will not be so harmonious, and the whole family environment will not be warm and happy. In such an environment, in fact, the child will not be happy, and when the child grows up, his heart may change because of such a family environment.

It is extremely detrimental to the growth of children, and children cannot experience the happiness of the family.

So, if a couple divorces and then remarries because of their children, if it does, I don't think I would do that. When two people are separated, there must be irreconcilable contradictions, and if they choose to remarry, another irreconcilable situation may appear, which is a kind of torture for each other and extremely detrimental to the growth of children.

Some people may like children from divorced families because they believe that these children have gone through unusual life experiences and are therefore likely to be more independent, strong, mature, and adaptable. In the process of family changes, these children may learn to face challenges and stress, solve problems and adapt to change.

In addition, some people may think that children from divorced families are more open and easy to get along with because they have experienced many different people and situations in their lives. They may be more likely to understand and accommodate other people's positions and situations because they have already experienced the difficulties and challenges that come with family problems themselves.

Of course, this does not mean that all children from divorced families possess these qualities. Every child is a unique individual, and their experiences and upbringing also affect their personality and traits. Therefore, we should not simply stereotype the children of divorced families, but respect the uniqueness of each person.

Love is sweet, marriage is bland, you don't think about marriage too ideally, if it is too ideal, you can only go to Ma Yun, Liu Qiangdong, and what other rich tycoons, they will give you food and clothing without worry! But it's also impossible for these people to give you sweet love, why? You should know.

In the world, in general, marriage is still good! Because the original marriage is a seamless whole that is fused by the feelings of the husband, wife, and children; What's yours is mine, and what's mine is yours; The child is biological, your child is also my child, my child is also your child, the family is emotionally integrated, regardless of each other.

But the remarried family is different, between them, yours is yours, mine is mine, your child is your child, my child is my child, there is a gap in the heart, there is a rift in the feelings, and the feelings are difficult to melt, so that a family can never form a seamless and perfect whole with each other! But it can only be a family, people together, half-hearted, divided, each with a ghost! In the end, quarrel for the children, quarrel for their own interests, quarrel for trivial matters, quarrel for each other!

In such a family, you can only be miserable, depressed, depressed! What about happiness!

But in fact, I think this question is still different from person to person, me. Growing up in a divorced single-parent family, I lived with my mother. When I was a child, my father abused my mother.

So the marriage that my parents quarreled about actually had a great impact on me. I don't think the divorce of parents for children means that the sky is falling. As long as the mother can give care to the child and the father can give the child love, then the parent's divorce is much less noisy, which is actually a lucky thing for the child.

The character of a child from a divorced family, a child who grows up in a divorced family environment will cause problems in the child's emotional, psychological, personality and other aspects, by understanding the child's personality can effectively guide him to the right track, the following is the character of the child from a divorced family.

1. Insecurity and low self-esteem

Children from divorced families are prone to "I live in an unhappy family" and "I have no one to want." "My parents don't love me anymore! "What should I do?

and other thoughts, so that the sense of security is seriously lacking, resulting in inferiority complex. In the face of children with such a mentality, we should care more, not only about food, clothing, and warmth, but also psychologically.

2. Withdrawn and unsociable

Children from divorced families are prone to a sense of loss after seeing the parents and children of other normal families getting along with each other and comparing them with the situation in their own families, so that they become avoidant of the opportunity to get along with others, and over time, they become unsociable and withdrawn. In the face of a child with such a mentality, we should guide his thoughts correctly.

3. Rebellion

After the dissolution of the original family, children from divorced families are prone to resistance when they face the discipline of single parents or stepparents, thinking that everything is their adult's fault, and they do not like it very much, and they do not adapt to such a new family environment, so they rebel. Faced with such a mentality'Son, we should talk to him properly.

1. Low self-esteem

Children from divorced families are prone to negative and pessimistic self-concepts such as "my family is unhappy", "I am a child that no one wants", "my life is not good", etc., and if they are frustrated in other aspects, it is easy to lead to character defects of low self-esteem.

2. Withdrawn

The unharmonious family environment makes the child feel nervous about interpersonal relationships, and the ideas such as "divorce is dishonorable, unwilling to let others know, and can't hold up his head among classmates" make the child reluctant to interact with others more, and it is easy to form a lonely and unsociable withdrawn character.

3. Cowardice

After some parents divorce, they often pin their feelings and hopes on their children, especially hoping that their children will become successful and show that they are good at teaching their children, so they are too tightly bound and disciplined by their children. Over time, the child is psychologically overburdened, afraid that he will disappoint his parents, so he stays away from his parents, becomes timid and fearful, and is cowardly and withdrawn.

Fourth, rough

Children from divorced families often do not understand their parents' divorce behavior, or understand divorce as their parents' ruthlessness and extreme selfishness.

Friends and parents often quarrel at home, and every day they either drop things or point at each other's noses and scold.

In the past, she would pretend to know how to please her parents, but what she got was criticism full of complaints:

I don't divorce your dad, it's not for you, can you save me worry every day, just supporting you is enough to upset me......”

These parents probably never realize that the birth of a child will not bring a consolidated effect to this already fragmented family relationship.

Instead, it has become a card in their hands, and every time "for you" puts a shackle on the child.

Over time, the child's personality will become more and more sensitive, and he will always put himself in a full sense of guilt.

When I was helping in a counseling facility, I met a young boy whose parents were married because they were married, and there was no affection between them.

After running in for a while, they found that they still couldn't get together, so they wanted to end the marriage, but at this time, the little boy's mother found out that she was pregnant.

For the sake of the child, the two chose to continue to live together, but there is no common word between the two people at all, and every day except silence is a quarrel.

This lasted for almost six years, and then the boy's father had someone outside, and every time he came home, he would beat his wife and the boy.

According to the little boy himself, he was beaten by his father for the first time when he was just over four years old, and has been beaten regularly since then. Although his mother would protect the little boy, every time there was only mother and son left in the house, his mother would push him away and complain

If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have lived this kind of life. If it weren't for you, I would have divorced him a long time ago. ”

This is the kind of thing that the mother would often say to the little boy. Therefore, as a result, the little boy often blames himself for his psychological problems, and even when it is serious, he will punish himself in a way.

You see, a child who is not yet 6 years old begins to doubt life, and he even thinks that it is his own existence that makes his mother so sad.

But is the problem really in this child? Not. Because of his parents' marriage, they were destined not to be happy from the beginning, they just got married for the sake of getting married, and after running in for a while, they couldn't get along together.

At that time, even if I found out that I was pregnant, there was no need to forcibly tie up and live with someone who was not compatible with me, because that kind of life could be seen at a glance, and there was no happiness at all.

Who said that if you give your children enough warmth and enough love, you must make your marriage survive? If you are strong enough, you can also give your child enough warmth and love.

Parents often criticize and fight their children, so that teenagers do not enjoy the love of father, mother, and the warmth of family, and some only have fear, worry, and disappointment. Children who grow up in such families are often introverted, withdrawn and inferior, and they are afraid to tell their parents the truth for fear of being beaten and scolded for it.