What is the root cause behind the poverty alleviation marriage?

Personally, I believe that behind the "poverty alleviation" marriage is that there is no trust between each other. In my opinion, trust is the foundation of success and is not limited to feelings. But from an emotional point of view, the lack of trust will not go far, and there may be a situation of "Lao Yan flying apart" when encountering a little wind and rain.

"Poverty alleviation" marriage refers to a state of marriage in which one party's conditions are significantly higher than the other's, which may be economic or spiritual, so as to "help" the disadvantaged party. But in real life, it is often the man who buys the house and the woman who decorates the house. Once the relationship between the man and the woman breaks down, then the problem comes, the man's house has appreciated, but because it is the parents' account repayment, it has nothing to do with the woman, and the woman can only leave the house; And the woman's decoration, household appliances, etc. are either depreciated or cannot be taken away, and hundreds of thousands of dollars are wasted.

This situation is called a "poverty-alleviating" marriage between a woman and a man.

In this kind of marriage, the foundation of affection is not solid; In other words, the feelings between men and women for the other party are not as deep as imagined, and they have been secretly poking and poking in private. Just imagine, if the man and the woman are in a firm relationship, want to spend their lives together, and rely on each other for a long time, why can't they write their names on the real estate deed? In the final analysis, the foundation of the relationship is weak, and they don't believe that they can go to the end.

As long as the relationship is in turmoil, everyone may not think about how to repair the relationship, but how to do property preservation at the first time, so as to maximize the wealth for themselves, how can the marriage be stable?

Chinese people have always paid attention to "living and working in peace and contentment" and attach great importance to housing. To be honest, housing prices are relatively high now, and buying a house has become the biggest expense in the family, and it may take twenty or thirty years for a house to pay off the mortgage, which is a big expense for ordinary people. But many people do not enter marriage because they are emotionally determined, partly because their parents urge them to marry, some feel that the other party is honest and reliable, and some want to be consistent with the people around them, etc., which has planted the seeds of distrust.

If there is a problem in the marriage and the emotional foundation is weak, some couples will impulsively divorce, and most people will choose to protect their property and keep their living standards from declining; Coupled with the low stability of marriage in modern society, it has led to the tragedy of "poverty alleviation" marriage.

The root cause is emotional asymmetry. One party blindly demands that the other party pay for itself, and the other party blindly demands that the other party get a corresponding reward in money.

It is because of the unequal ability, the difference between the abilities of two people is too great, which will lead to the emergence of "poverty alleviation" marriage.

The fundamental reason should be that love makes people very blind, and the family conditions of two people are very different.

Poverty alleviation marriage" is like a bottomless and pure hole, desperately squeezing one of the parties dry, it is an undefeated marriage that has a future and no security.

So, how terrible is the "poverty alleviation" marriage? If you can, stop your losses early.

On the surface, marriage is a small family, which seems to have a small number of people and simple members, but in fact, marriage is more like a small company, and there are risks and twists and turns.

Fei Fei and her husband have been married for fifteen years, she has a strong work ability, clear thinking, and logical speech, but she is planted in her feelings.

Like many people, her husband was very good at the beginning after marriage, but after a long time, he revealed his true nature, lazy and indifferent, she tried to communicate with her husband, and the relationship between the two is still the same.

The turning point was five years ago, when my husband was dismissed by the unit, and after resting at home for a period of time, he went out to interview for several jobs, but he was not very satisfied, so he simply did not go out to make money at home.

His family was also anxious and tried their best to help him find a job, but he couldn't arouse his interest.

Fei Fei is very busy every day, and when she comes home from work and sees that the other party has nothing to do, she is angry, and the two quarrel a lot because of work problems.

Some time ago, his friend said that there was a better project and persuaded her husband to invest together, and he told Fei Fei about it that day, and the two discussed it together.

Fei Fei thought that her husband had no job and no money, and finally had a motivated idea, so she supported him, moved her deposit, and borrowed some from her parents to invest in him together.

Who would have thought, it was a big pit, all the money was lost, the savings were gone, and there was a debt.

She complained to me: "I don't know why he is like this now, he doesn't want to pay for this family, he just thinks about pie in the sky."

of good things. I also want to leave him, but the child will be hurt, and he will have nothing left, so I can't bear it. ”

It is inevitable that every family will have a difficult time, whether it is for money or other problems.

But marriage is not poverty alleviation, the important thing is that two people support each other in order to get through difficult times.

If one party always asks for it with peace of mind and takes the other party's support for granted, then the marriage will turn sour.

It is not terrible for people to have no money, but it is terrible to be selfish without money, this kind of person will not obtain benefits through legitimate means, but by exploiting others.

Husbands and wives share difficulties and blessings, rather than one party dragging the other into the quagmire.

It is not wrong for people to pay, but it is wrong to see the true face of the other party.

But he still continues to pay.

My colleague Xiaoli can be said to be the most money-saving person in our department, and even ordering takeout is the cheapest, even if she knows that such takeout is not clean.

She has a boyfriend, and the two are already talking about getting married. Before marriage, the man told Xiaoli that he had bought the suite in full, because it was the man's full payment, and Xiaoli didn't ask for it, he was in the real estate certificate.

Add your own name.

How to most effectively solve the poverty alleviation marriage, as long as someone has good property in his life, you can help the other party This is the simplest and most effective way.

Marriage was supposed to be the result of a long period of loveMarriage itself is built on the basis of love, but when it comes to marriage, it seems to have a layer of utilitarian colorThis is the origin of "poverty alleviation" marriage!

There was a girl who agreed with her boyfriend to buy a house together before marriage, but afterwards the man bought the house by himself without informing the woman. At that time, the woman was quite moved, but the house only had her boyfriend's name, and then the girl needed to pay for the decoration and so on. For this matter, the girl asked the lawyer to understand that this marriage can't be consummated!

She is called a "poverty alleviation" marriage, the house is her boyfriend's, the house price will appreciate, but it is impossible for the girl to recover the decoration money, and the mortgage after marriage takes the account of her boyfriend's parents. For this reason, my boyfriend still thinks that girls are careful, but if you don't care, why do you want to buy a house secretly?

This is talking about before marriage, in fact, in married life, there are also many "poverty alleviation", a TV series called "Mother-in-law is Coming", the Linlin family in this drama really put a lot of effort into the rural in-laws. The wedding house was bought by Linlin's parents, but her mother-in-law only paid half of the price of buying a house at that time, and asked for half of the house, and now the house price has already doubled, but Linlin's parents still endured it.

In order to find a job for Linlin's husband's brother and sister-in-law, they also used the relationship of the family, but in the end, not only did they not know how to thank them, but they also thought that Linlin's job was not good. The family has no income and is relatively poor, but after Wang Chuanzhi got married, he relied on Linlin's family, and wanted to rely on Linlin's family to live a life with a car and a house, and even sold the marriage house without Linlin's consent in the end.

Marriage can help each other, but as long as one party keeps giving and you keep taking, how can such a marriage be happy. If one party already wants you to "help the poor" and marry you, then all your "poverty alleviation" projects have nothing to move him about, because greed is infinite, your ability may not be infinite, and one day you will not be able to give him what he wants.

Do you know what a "poverty alleviation" marriage is? It's disgusting, girls must be careful.

What does a poverty-alleviating marriage look like? To put it simply, the man takes out a loan to buy a house before marriage, or even borrows a down payment to buy a house, only writes his name on the real estate certificate, and then marries a wife, asks his wife to pay for decoration, and repays the loan together after marriage. The wife gave birth to a child and asked the wife to quit her job to take care of the child at home and do housework.

The so-called "poverty alleviation marriage" means that the other party keeps calculating you, constantly getting benefits from you, and even keeps saying that everything he does is for you. Marriage is like running a business, and it is a family business, and you have to sign a contract to run a business, so why do you have to get a certificate if you get married?

Both parties need to contribute their own resources, but the resources given by men and women are different: physical fitness, fertility, beauty, family relationships, and potential for future growth.

Women have to give birth, raise and take care of the family, etc.; The role of men is played later, one party sows hard, the other party is responsible for harvesting, and the person behind will be more likely to knock on the bamboo pole of the person in front.

Marriage is also a river and lake, and while emphasizing love and righteousness, we must also pay attention to Taoism. We must learn to benefit each other before we can be allied together.

"Poverty alleviation marriage" is not terrible, what is terrible is that you want to help, and others still dislike you.

Therefore, before you get married, you must talk about money first, talk about it openly, and avoid jumping into the trap of "poverty alleviation marriage".

There will be some differences in the details of each person's specific understanding, but they are still roughly the same.

Roughly that is, one of the parties gives nothing, takes nothing, and does not give. Two people rely on the money and efforts of one of the parties and the family of one party to live, which is a poverty-alleviation marriage.

Let's put it this way, the word poverty alleviation, you can understand it, right? A certain person or an organization goes to a certain place to carry out poverty alleviation projects. You think of the place that is being helped out as the one in your marriage who is being helped out.

The person or organization that carries out the project is the one who goes to poverty alleviation in the marriage. And the whole project is marriage. In this way, it is a poverty-alleviation marriage.

[Sell scrap on the scrap home, I'll answer your question].A good marriage is always a win-win situation, and a bad marriage is full of calculations, which corresponds to the next popular word - poverty-alleviation marriage.

The so-called poverty alleviation marriage is when one party keeps saying that everything he does is for the other party, so as to ask the other party to be grateful for Dade's unconditional feedback. Some people will say that what is the point of marriage if it is all calculated, and no one wants to do things that go against interests. If there is an unequal stake, the risks have to be considered.

Marriage is like a battlefield, if a person can't even protect his property, it is like having no armor and no defense on the battlefield, and he can only be defeated without a fight. You think that you can use poverty alleviation to show your loyalty to love, but this is actually just a bet, and if you win, you can win a perfect family; Lose, and you'll be in a mess.

It is that the two families are seriously unequal, and one party asks the other party to support the family unconditionally.

Something like Voldemort or something.

Here are some examples:

1. Voldemort.

Classic quote: "I'm just such a younger brother, what's wrong with helping him?" ”

Often such a woman helps her younger brother unconditionally, from secretly giving money to buying a house and a car, and asking the man to help support her younger brother. Common examples, such as Fan Shengmei in the TV series "Ode to Joy" and the mother in "It's All Good", all help their younger brothers and older brothers step by step.

2. Targeted poverty alleviation.

Not specifically referring to one party, the two parties have a huge gap in their family environment, and the other party is required to unconditionally support the family members with poor circumstances to improve the environment. For example, in the case of a high-praise divorce in Zhihu, the man gave a high gift money, bought a house and a car and wrote the woman's name, and the woman's family did not contribute any money. After the marriage, the woman took control of the family property and secretly transferred it to her mother's family, and said:

That's how we are, the rich should help the poor until they are about the same level. And this concept made the woman transfer more than 2 million to her mother's family, and she was still not satisfied.

3. Calculate poverty alleviation.

In particular, it refers to some men who buy a house before marriage, but ask the woman to pay for the decoration, which is clearly calculating the woman.

1. The woman who buys the house before marriage does not have the right to hold the property.

Second, the decoration woman is out, and the woman can't even get back the decoration money when she divorces.

3. After marriage, the man's money is used for the house, and the woman's money is used for living, but the woman does not have the right to hold the property, and she can't get anything in the divorce, which belongs to being deceived into poverty alleviation.

The above are just some examples, there are many examples of poverty alleviation through marriage, such as the woman's family supporting the man's career, and the man turning his face and not recognizing others after taking the position.

The ancients often said: "The door should be against each other", although modern thought believes that this is not advisable, but the rivers and lakes are sinister, I still think that the door should be mutually opposed may be much more equal in marriage.

We are all human beings, so let's plan for the worst with the "evil" of human nature.