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Don't think that she is your mother-in-law, treat her as your own mother, it is not difficult to learn to empathize.
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The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is prone to problems because there are many complex social, psychological and cultural factors involved. Here are some of the reasons that can lead to tension in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law::
Unclear role positioning: In the traditional family culture, the roles of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are given different expectations and responsibilities. When there is a disagreement between the two sides on the positioning of the role and the distribution of Kwon Kyung's power, it is easy to cause contradictions and disputes.
Differences in values and living habits: Due to different generations, different regions and different cultural backgrounds, mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law may have different views and practices on some issues. For example, if the two sides cannot reach an agreement on issues such as the way of early education, family economic management, and the distribution of housework, it is easy to have contradictions and conflicts.
Poor communication: When there is a problem in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, both parties often lack good communication methods and find it difficult to understand each other's thoughts and needs. If you don't communicate and resolve it in a timely manner, problems may accumulate and lead to more tension in the relationship.
External interference: The quality of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is also affected by external factors. For example, the remarks of other family members or friends, the influence of **, etc., may have a negative impact on the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
To improve the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, you first need to clarify each other's expectations and roles, respect each other's values and living habits, strengthen communication and understanding, and try to establish good mutual trust and cooperative relations. At the same time, both parties should also realize that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law requires the joint efforts of both parties, and it should not only be one of the parties to take responsibility.
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The problem of a bad relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law seems to be a difficult problem for the ages, but it is not absolute. Because we can still see that there are many families where mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law get along better than mothers and daughters. If you want to delve into the reasons for the bad relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, it seems that there are the following points.
One. Co-located in the same place.
China has always had the custom of four generations or even five generations living together, and is proud of it, who knows, easy to get along, difficult to live with, it is precisely because of living under the same roof, contradictions will also increase, itself before ten or twenty years, or even thirty years, is not in the same family coexistence, each has its own living habits and preferences, suddenly living together, maybe you like to eat spicy, she likes to eat sweet, you want to eat light, but she has a heavy taste, these seemingly inconspicuous problems, really live together, daily conflict, It may turn into a cumulative complaint, and eventually irreconcilably evolve into a bad relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
IIGnaw the old.
There are too many modern people who have become giant babies who can't quit milk, and they usually need their parents' support for everything, and then, when something happens, they have to come forward with their parents. But when it comes time to return to their own small family life, they want their parents to let go completely, is it possible? Parents are usually used to asking them to interfere in everything, and if you want them to ignore anything, there is a high probability that they will not be able to stop by inertia.
And as the saying goes, eat people with a soft mouth and take people with short hands, you enjoy the benefits brought to you by your mother-in-law, and you don't want people to say a second word, the cheap is taken advantage of by you, is this possible?
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The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has been complicated since ancient times, and there are not a few people who get along well and have a harmonious family, and there are not a few who cannot get along and cause divorce between husband and wife. In recent days, I watched a variety show "Mother-in-law and Mother", and the different mother-in-law and daughter-in-law of the four celebrity families get along with each other, which makes people feel a lot of emotion and benefit a lot.
Among them, the well-known husband and wife are not Qin Hao and Yi Nengjing, and the two are famous sisters and brothers in the circle.
Yi Nengjing is more than ten years older than Qin Hao, and many viewers and friends are not optimistic about this relationship. But the two still resisted the pressure of the outside world and got married.
In terms of speaking and doing things, it can be found that Yi Nengjing has some little hypocrisy, and will be coquettish with Qin Hao, asking him why he doesn't reply, etc.
This may cause disputes between other couples, but because of Qin Hao's anti-correction ability, it looks cute.
Yi Nengjing said that Qin Hao was more patient with a pet dog than with him, and Qin Hao said that it was because the dog's words were not as much as Yi Nengjing!! As a result, Yi Nengjing asked again, if the dog doesn't speak, do you want to live with him for the rest of your life? Qin Hao responded that even if the dog could talk, it wouldn't be good [covering his face].
But at the same time, it is also because Yi Nengjing is good at responding to others and needs to be responded to, which makes it much easier for her mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to get along. Yi Nengjing often chats with her mother-in-law, talking about some trivial things that happen in life, so that her mother-in-law has a sense of participation.
Qin Hao hit the two of them **, and when he hung up, he said I miss you! Yi Nengjing told her mother-in-law that her husband had improved, but her mother-in-law said that your requirements were too low!! A proper mother-in-law mentality!
People who watch the show will realize that in addition to Yi Nengjing's attention to her mother-in-law, her mother-in-law herself is also very cheerful and wise. Because of this, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can get along so harmoniously.
Yi Nengjing asked her mother-in-law, "Is the most right thing you did in your life to marry your father-in-law?" Many mothers-in-law hope that their daughters-in-law will be kind to their sons and will respond decisively, of course!
But Qin Hao's mother didn't, she said that the most right thing she has done in her life should be to be herself and not to be attached to others.
It can be seen that Qin Hao's mother is very experienced and full of great wisdom. Such a person will definitely not be prejudiced or dissatisfied when dealing with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, but will exchange sincerity for sincerity.
Qin Hao's mother herself is lively and cheerful and has her own hobbies. Instead of devoting all her time to her son, she laughs heartily and often says something insightful.
How can such a mother-in-law not be at ease when she gets along?
Qin Hao is really lucky to meet such two women in his life! Of course, he himself is also very good [like].
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When it comes to the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, all women have been talking about the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law since ancient times, and this time it is an angle that I hope may be replaced by a man. In my opinion, all the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationships. It's all due to the incompetence of this man in this family, because this man is not correctly aware of the seriousness of the problem!
The Chinese mother-in-law never realized that once her son got married, his son and wife were the same family! Compared with their small family, the mother-in-law and the father-in-law are real outsiders, the two families should have their own boundaries, the best way to deal with it is that the mother-in-law regards her son's family as the best neighbor, and when they need advice, patiently give them some advice, when they need help, I hope that when you help him, you will cooperate enthusiastically, always stand behind them, and never do something beyond the neighbors themselves should do!
The second reason for the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is that the mother always wants to possess her son and is reluctant to let go. Where there is love in the world is for the purpose of aggregation, for the purpose of possession! Only the love of parents for their children is for the purpose of separation.
Parents love their children, not to tie their children to their side forever, but to help their children grow! Let him have the ability to live independently, let him see a bigger and broader world, and one day his children can live happily when they leave him!
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There are two main reasons why the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is difficult to do well.
First, the concept of life is different. It's like two people, one has lived on land all his life, and has never been close to the sea, and all he can accept is the size of a lake. And the other person has lived in an island all his life and has never seen a continent, so he can only accept the size of an island.
The same is true of the concept of life, and the decisive factor of the concept of life is precisely the vision. When two people's living environment and life experience are different, how can the two of them have the same concept of life, and when two different concepts of life are put together, there will always be countless sparks.
Second, the difference in the times. There will inevitably be a generation gap between the two, there is a good saying "three years and a generation gap", there will be a generation gap in these three years, not to mention the age difference between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, I don't think it's an exaggeration to call it a ditch, right? At the same time, I would like to propose a new term here - regional generation gap!
In this era of rapid social development, there are new changes of one kind or another every day, and we don't care if this change is good or bad, and we will leave this task to time. We just have to admit that fact. Life in first-tier cities is very different from that in third-tier cities, and it is strange that there is no generation gap in living in such two different environments.
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The mother-in-law relationship is a difficult interpersonal relationship, and it is said that this is not only the case in China, but also abroad. To this end, it can be summarized into four points.
First, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a special kind of interpersonal relationship.
Second, both mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are the main members of the family, and today's daughter-in-law is tomorrow's mother-in-law, although the two are now a little different in generation, in fact, the functions are the same.
Third, the mother-in-law is in a strong position, and the daughter-in-law is in a weak position, although she has a husband, she is in a dilemma.
Fourth, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law live in their respective families, and family education may be different.
If you want to get along well between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, it will not be a problem if you can do the following.
Understand each other more, empathize with each other, compare hearts to hearts, and exchange hearts for hearts.
Communicate more with each other, have something to say on the table, don't hold it in your heart.
Be more appreciative of each other, and don't look for each other's shortcomings with a magnifying glass all day long.
Care more for each other, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are the relationship between elders and juniors, not natural enemies, and care for each other.
Trust each other more and be less suspicious.
Be more confused with each other, and don't be too clear about everything.
Be more forbearant and tolerant of each other, after all, it is a family, endure it, let it go, and the family will be happier!
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Why do most mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationships have problems? If a man can understand the following five things before getting married, then there will be no difficult mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship.
1. Don't talk on both sides.
After all, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law live together every day, and there is no deep affection to pave the way, as long as it involves their own habits or interests, it is easy to be magnified and interpreted. I told my mother that my wife said that you are a traditional woman, and you cook salty, oily and clean, so it's strange that the two of you don't quarrel.
2. Praise your wife more, and take on the bad things for men.
Praise your wife more in front of your mother-in-law, give your wife the opportunity to invite merit, give gifts, and perform, even if you do it, you must keep a heart in it for your wife, so that the elders think that it is the two of you. As for the bad things, you have to bear them, you don't have to feel wronged, your parents and son have no overnight feud, even if you are deducted zero points, your mother still loves you, but your wife will be deducted ten points if she is a shortcoming, and a bad thing will be remembered for a lifetime.
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The Chinese daughter-in-law I just mentioned will ask the man questions when she is in love. And Chinese mothers will usually tell you all kinds of stories from a young age, such as "you can't marry a daughter-in-law and forget your mother".
Usually, some people who don't know much about psychology will say: "Mother is very important, how to balance this, let the son learn how to take care of the mother". "It's not easy for a daughter-in-law to understand her mother-in-law.
Wait a minute. However, what we are talking about is only some truth, and we talk about how these situations have occurred in Chinese families.
But in psychology, there will be such a saying: the relationship between husband and wife is the anchor of the family. We should put the husband and wife series first in the family, so there should be no such discussion as "whether the mother-in-law is important or the daughter-in-law is important".
If you want a family to be stable and the development of each generation is getting better and better, the husband should put his wife first in the family.
Look at your wife is also a college student, the quality is too low, you are the same as me, she followed you when she was not married, it doesn't matter what happens, we will have everything when we slowly struggle, and then hurt you and your family again and again, forcing an old mother to die, sad or yourself, the old mother said that you married your wife and forgot your mother, and the wife said that you are not capable, he will keep saying that you are dead, I don't believe you try, there will be more and more, and finally you will only have a shell left, you can get by, Husbands and wives are eating together, so why not understand their husbands. Brother, sympathize.
Many traditional cultures believe that children should live independently from their parents when they become adults, which is an inevitable trend of social development. However, in some regions and families, parents want their sons to be able to live with them after marriage, a phenomenon known as "mother-in-law cohabitation". This phenomenon can be analysed from a cultural, social and psychological perspective. >>>More
For many married women, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is indeed a very complex and difficult interpersonal relationship. However, there are also individual families, and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is very good, and it all depends on how a woman gets along with her mother-in-law. If you can achieve like-minded interests, then the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will be good. >>>More
Personally, I don't think it's difficult to solve at all. >>>More
As the saying goes, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in a beautiful family is very important, and if the relationship is harmonious, the family will be happy and enjoy the joy of family! The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law refers to the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in a family, which has been very complex, special and difficult to deal with since ancient times. Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should first adjust the mentality of both parties, and communication should be the main principle. >>>More