Find a few interesting couplets. And some more powerful jokes

Eat, drink, and don't take anything to heart; Taking a shower, looking at the watch, comfortable for a second is a second.

Good luck all year round, spring, summer, autumn and winter meet nobles.

Once upon a time, after a jinshi became an official, he took advantage of the rich and oppressed the people. Later, when he was older, he returned to his hometown with tens of thousands of taels of silver. At this time, his son was also admitted to the Jinshi. The son, like Lao Tzu, is also rampant and domineering, and the people hate them to the core.

On Chinese New Year's Eve this year, the old jinshi looked at the house full of gold and silver, and then saw that he and his son were wearing brand-new official uniforms, and his wife and daughter-in-law were also full of ayaluo, full of pearls. The old man was so proud that he asked his son to bring a big red piece of paper, wrote a couplet himself, and asked his son to stick it on the door. The couplet reads:

Father Jinshi, son Jinshi, father and son are Jinshi;

Mrs. Mother-in-law, Mrs. Daughter-in-law, Mrs. Mother-in-law.

The meaning of the couplet, Lao Tzu is a Jinshi, and his son is also a Jinshi, and both of them are official materials. The wife is a lady, the daughter-in-law is a lady, and the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are both noble women (in ancient times, only the wives of people with status could be called "Mrs.").

There is a poor talent in the village who hates Jinshi's father and son. He read this couplet, and he was inspired and happy. In the middle of the night, when there was no one on the street, Xiucai took a brush and quietly came to the door of Jinshi's house, and made three strokes on the upper couplet and nine strokes on the lower couplet.

Then, unconsciously, the man walked away.

The next morning, it was the first day of the Lunar New Year. People come and go to greet each other. The changed couplet at the door of Jinshi's house was also discovered. One spread ten, ten spread hundreds, and it didn't take much effort to attract a group of people. Someone pointed to the couplet and read it aloud:

The father enters the earth, the son enters the earth, and the father and the son enter the earth;

Mother-in-law loses her husband, daughter-in-law loses her husband, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law lose their husband.

"Into the earth" means "into the earth", which means that a person dies and is buried. "Husband" of course refers to the husband. The couplet that was changed by Xiucai became:

His son went to the ground, and his son also went to the ground, and the two of them died! The wife has no husband, the daughter-in-law has no husband, and the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have become a pair of living widows.

People watched and listened, and they all burst out laughing. Bursts of laughter alarmed the Jinshi father and son. When the father and son went out to take a look, they immediately made Lao Jin's morale so angry that his face was blue, and he fainted on the steps in front of the door on the spot.

Shanglian: The sound of the wind and the rain and the sound of reading, I don't make a sound.

Downlink: Family affairs, state affairs, world affairs, and my.

Sideways: Play while going.

Shanglian: Boys, girls, poor scholars, endless!

Downlink: First love, hot love, extramarital love, reluctant to give up!

Horizontal batch: There is no love in life.

Shanglian: Doctoral students, graduate students, undergraduate students, endlessly!

Horizontal criticism: willing to read and lose.

Shanglian: Jinsha River, Jialing River, Heilongjiang, Jiangjiang can be invested!

Downlink: Laboratory Building, Teaching Building, Dormitory Building, Building Jump!

Horizontal batch: unprecedented.

Shanglian: Love the country, love the family, love the sister!

Downlink: Fire and anti-theft brothers!

Horizontal criticism: freedom of love.

Shanglian: The wind is blowing, the rain is falling, I'm waiting for you to reply**; Downlink: Live for you, die for you, wait for you for a lifetime;

Horizontal batch: The wrong person sent it.

Shanglian: Look at the back and rush thousands of troops;

Downlink: Turn your head and scare off millions of heroes;

Sideways: Oh my god.

Shanglian: Don't cheat in exams and be a junior in the coming year;

Downlink: It is better to have no personality than to fail;

Horizontal batch: Just to pass!

Uplink: Mahjong poker gold, go home after losing;

Downlink: The ancient road west wind thin horse, broken intestines in the end of the world;

Horizontal criticism: Miserable!

Uplink: Remove the numbers one and two;

Downlink: There are also four, five, six, seven, nine;

Horizontal batch: Only three or eight left!

Shanglian: If you say you can do it, you can do it, and you can do it if you can;

Downlink: If you say no, you can't do it, and you can't do it;

Horizontal batch: If you don't accept it, you can't do it.

Shanglian: For you to be stupid, for you to be tired, for you to suffer all the sins;

Downlink: Die for you, be crazy for you, bang against the wall for you;

Side-by-side: Crazy for love.

Shanglian: The name of the person I love has a master;

Downlink: The people who love me are miserable;

Horizontal batch: life is bitter.

Shanglian: handsome on the top;

Downlink: under for pigs;

Horizontal batch: Marshal Tianpeng.

Downlink: Cheating on eating, drinking, and cheating feelings;

Horizontal batch: The wisher takes the bait.

Shanglian: Red rice and pumpkin soup, a wife and a child;

Downlink: Red rice Wang Ba soup, children and a wife;

Horizontal batch: keep pace with the times.

Uplink: Pressing up and down layer by layer, and succeeding;

Downlink: Down-deception is mixed with water, and the water comes naturally;

Horizontal batch: everyone is happy.

Shanglian: It is difficult to love and be loved;

Downlink: There is time for affection and fate;

Horizontal criticism: Affection is priceless.

Shanglian: 0 points, 10 points, 100 points, it's better to comb with me.

Downlink: The United States, Great Britain, and Germany are inferior to China.

Uplink: The first grade and the second grade are not as good as your nail fungus.

Downlink: Eggs, duck eggs, goose eggs, you're a bastard.

Shanglian: If you say you can do it, you can do it, and you can do it if you can;

Downlink: If you say no, you can't do it, and you can't do it.

Horizontal batch: If you don't accept it, you can't do it.

Pressing up and down, adding layers of code, and succeeding;

Deceived on the top, mixed with water, water comes naturally.

Horizontal batch: everyone is happy.

Uplink: New house, new car, new horse, new debut;

Downlink: Acting county magistrate, acting mayor, acting speaker, three generations in the same house.

Horizontal batch: It's all from a.

The wind is blowing, the rain is falling, I'm waiting for you to come back**;

I live for you, I die for you, and I wait for you for the rest of your life.

Horizontal batch: The wrong person sent it.

red rice and pumpkin soup, a wife and a group of children;

White rice Wang Ba soup, children and a wife.

Horizontal batch: keep pace with the times.

First love, passionate love, extramarital love, reluctance to give up;

Boys, girls, poor scholars, endlessly.

Horizontal batch: There is no love in life.

love the country, love the family, love the younger sister;

Fire prevention, anti-theft and anti-brother.

Horizontal criticism: freedom of love.

The traditional Spring Festival couplets "increase the days and increase the longevity of people; Spring is full of blessings and blessings" changed to:

The days increase, and people gain weight;

Spring is full of people.

Horizontal batch: It's time for **.

I am satisfied with the full spring;

The days are increasing, and the people are increasing their income.

Horizontal batch: Take the New Year's money.

The person I love has a famous flower;

The people who love me are miserable.

Horizontal batch: life is bitter.

You Changji eats, drinks and has fun, and every day is auspicious. Seek the next link (Changji is a city in Xinjiang).