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1. Don't hurt your self-esteem when criticizing your child.
A wise parent should know how to skillfully use the art of criticism
1) Distinguish between the occasion and the wording. If a child is criticized in front of relatives, friends or peers, the child will feel embarrassed and dissatisfied, and will not listen to the parent's criticism.
2) The wording of criticism should be appropriate, and words that hurt children's self-esteem should be avoided, such as "you are simply incorrigible", "why are you not as good as so-and-so", "you are so stupid".
3) Treat things not people. Parents who really know how to criticize should focus on how to promote their children to correct their shortcomings, rather than holding on to their shortcomings. That is, just talk about things, and don't turn over old accounts.
4) Proper cold treatment. When the child has a strong emotional reaction and impulsive speech, parents simply ignore the child, wait for the child to think calmly and calm down the impulse before criticizing.
2. Let children learn to compare hearts with hearts.
Parents should be straightforward about their worries and worries when interfering with their children's actions, so that their parents know their love. For example, to deal with the matter of children returning late from school, some parents wait for their children to come home, scold their heads and faces, and order them not to return late in the future. This way of dealing with it is too impatient, and the child not only does not experience the love of the parents, but has a resistance to the parents, thinking that the fuss is too wide and too lenient.
Some parents will try their best to suppress their anger, calmly ask the reason, and explain that because they don't know why you came back late, they are very anxious and worried, and hope that you can stand in the perspective of parents, experience the love and difficulty of parents, and come back as soon as possible. It is believed that after hearing these words, sensible children will feel guilty and blame themselves for the anxiety caused by their late return to their parents, and will not have any counter-events and resistance to their parents' interference.
3. Adopt the practical experience method.
Using practical experience to resolve children's rebellious psychology is much more effective than commanding and verbal teaching. A father once told such a story. One evening, when the father was walking with his son, the son saw a watermelon stall selling watermelons and had to buy them.
My father said, "It's too far away from home, and it's too tiring to take it back, so I don't buy it." "The son is not happy:
The son walked with the watermelon he bought, and after a while, he was tired and sweaty, and he rested several times along the way before carrying the watermelon home. This experience touched the child deeply: "It's not easy to eat a watermelon!"
From this, I realized my father's suffering.
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In the final analysis, all the faults, shortcomings, and bad habits that children show can be easily answered by their parents. Therefore, parents should regulate their own good behavior, strengthen their own cultivation, learn more about things, teach their children to treat things in the right way, set a good example for their children, and strengthen their children's cultivation and quality. Next, I have sorted out the relevant content of how children should be educated during the rebellious period, and I hope you like the article!
How to educate children during the rebellious period
Shanzi first, accept every growth needs of children.
As parents, the first thing we need to do is embrace our children's needs. For example, when a child is about three years old, his sense of self begins to sprout, and among his common words there are: don't.
Listen to me. I said it. That's when the child gives the signal:
I'm going to take matters into my own hands. So, when we learn this, we can use more words like this, such as: Baby, what do you want ......Is it?
What do you think ......? You like ......Is it? In this way, your child will be able to sit still and be willing to listen to you.
Because he felt that his ideas were accepted.
Second, be friends with your child.
When the child is about ten years old, he already has a certain amount of common sense and ability, and at this time, he wants you to treat him as a friend and talk to him better than being instructed and ordered. Therefore, get along with children of this age and do not use orders, commands, coercion, etc. to communicate with him. Just like my boss, if you communicate with him well, he will be very willing to listen to you.
But if you ask him to do something in a commanding, threatening tone, he will resist and resolutely refuse to do it.
Third, let go and give your child a chance to grow.
Every rebellion represents a child's need for growth. As parents, you should believe in your child and give him some opportunities to learn to make his own arrangements, learn to think independently and solve problems. It is also appropriate to give children some opportunities to take responsibility.
Things to note:
1. When communicating with your child, listen patiently. No matter what the child says, parents must listen patiently, which is for the child's personality. Respect is also a way to understand children and resolve conflicts.
3. React positively. When the child has fully expressed his opinion, parents should take a positive gesture: "You have a good idea, it would be better if you added a little more or changed a little more."
Positive reactions from parents can make children feel happy and full of a sense of accomplishment, which is conducive to the next emotional exchange between the two parties.
4. Criticize children to distinguish the occasion. When a child is criticized in front of relatives, friends or peers, the child will feel embarrassed and dissatisfied, and will not listen to the criticism of the parents.
5. The wording should avoid words that hurt children's self-esteem, such as "you are simply incorrigible", "why are you not as good as so-and-so", "you are so stupid".
6. Deal with it appropriately and calmly. When the child has a strong emotional reaction and impulsive speech, parents simply ignore it and wait for the child to think calmly and calm down the impulse before criticizing.
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If you want your child to have a sunny attitude, then parents must first do your mentality, correct your mentality, and enough sunshine can affect the child.
1. Guide children to see multifacetedness; Parents can communicate more with their children in daily life, guide them to see the multifaceted nature of things, don't always tell them the good side, and don't tolerate them touching the backside. Parents' honesty is actually easier for children to understand the world, and it is also conducive to changing children's thinking angles, so that they can live more positively and optimistically.
2. Appreciate children's strengths; If you want to cultivate a positive and optimistic attitude in your child, then parents must learn to appreciate their child's advantages in life, find their child's shining points, and give their child encouragement and praise in time, so that the child can become more positive and confident, and his personality will become sunny and optimistic. If parents always find out about their children's shortcomings, recklessly criticize and blame their children, children will only become more and more negative.
3. Create a relaxed family atmosphere; If you want to cultivate a positive and optimistic attitude in your children, parents should also create a relaxed family atmosphere for their children in their lives. A relaxed and cheerful family atmosphere can make children feel safe and happy, so that children will take the initiative to maintain this relaxed atmosphere and become more optimistic and positive in personality. The cultivation of children's character and mentality is inseparable from the parents' ears and eyes, and also inseparable from the correction and guidance of parents.
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Three Powerful Tools for Chinese Parents: "Listen to Mom." ”
You shouldn't do that. ”
I'm all for your good. ”
Chinese parents' desire to make their children obedient through repression exposes their anxiety about education, which is essentially forcing children to do things they don't like.
Children living in such families are either as lifeless as machines;
Either break out and go all out.
In fact, the repressive education model has a lot of harm to children, and the specific harm manifestations are:
Eliminate the child's natural instinct to learn, and the child who is often suppressed by his parents will become unmotivated and gradually lose his natural instinct to learn.
So they don't dare to fight for their future.
Because I was too afraid of my parents' words, I lost my self-confidence and didn't have a correct understanding of myself, so I didn't dare to move forward.
Children are more likely to rebel, exacerbating conflicts between parents and children.
Children in a depressed state enter a rebellious period, and their reactions will be stronger, and they will confront their parents everywhere, but the parent-child relationship that should be harmonious has become an enemy relationship.
As you can imagine, it is difficult for children under this type of education to form a healthy personality, and it is also difficult to feel the joy and freedom of growing up.
Children who are often suppressed by their parents will become timid, afraid of doing anything, and afraid of doing the wrong thing.
Even in the process of getting along with others, they are scared and care too much about what others think, leading to the loss of self.
Such children will still be dependent on their parents in the future and feel that they will achieve nothing without their parents.
In general, this kind of suppression of education has many potential harms, which can be said to be more beneficial than disadvantageous, and is very detrimental to the healthy development of children.
Therefore, as parents, we must do our best to avoid repressive education.
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When a person struggles to raise a child and then discovers that the child's behavior does not meet their expectations, it can be a source of great disappointment and confusion. In this case, here are some suggestions and strategies to deal with this:
1.Accept reality: The first thing is to accept reality and realize that everyone has their own independent personality and behavioral choices.
Although the parent's education has a great influence, the child is also influenced by other factors such as social environment, peers, **, etc. Accepting this reality helps to reduce the blame and self-blame for yourself.
2.Establish open lines of communication: Engage in open and open conversations with your child whenever possible. Build a closer parent-child bond by listening to and understanding their perspectives and feelings. Respect their independence, but also express your concerns and expectations.
3.Seek professional help: If you are extremely confused or concerned about your child's behavior, it is wise to seek help from a mental health professional. They can provide professional assessment and advice, as well as advise you on strategies and support.
4.Develop good self-regulation skills: It is important to be sensitive and sensitive when dealing with emotional distress caused by your child's behavior, and learn to manage your emotions and stress.
Help yourself cope better by recognizing your emotional responses, using relaxation techniques such as deep breathing and meditation, and finding ways to regulate your emotions.
5.Re-evaluate your approach to education: Review your own approach to education and think about whether there are any adjustments and improvements that need to be made. Consider adopting a positive approach to education that emphasizes communication, respect, and understanding, as well as encouraging your child to develop self-confidence and independence.
In adulthood, children's behavior is affected by a variety of factors, including family education, individual personality traits, social environment, etc. Parents play an important role in their child's behavior and development, but they are not the only determinants. Striving to adopt a positive approach to education and building good communication and parent-child relationships with children can create a positive impact on their growth and behavioral development.
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In intimate relationships, the role of parents is important, even if they are to be the child's guide, but also to respect the child's personality. Acknowledge your child's personality and let your child take charge of their future, don't always ask your child with your own ideas and concepts, and let your child build a nest of growth.
First,Respect your child's personality and pay enough attention to what they say.
We parents should respect the individuality of our children and understand themWhimsy. Encourage and support them to develop their independence and autonomy so that they can bePeople who are confident and have the ability to think independently.
Second,When educating children, it is important to pay attention to the language.
Avoid using violent or rude language. When a child makes a mistake,Parents should not punish their children with rude language. This will only make the child feel frightened and uneasy.
Then a timid and unassertive character is produced. Thus destroying the parent-child relationship. You should communicate with your child in a rational and gentle manner, clearly express your thoughts and expectations, let your child understand the causes and consequences of mistakes, and guide your child correctly and early.
Third,Increase effective communication.
A respectful parent-child relationship needs to be based on good communication. When children have something to say and questions to ask, parents should listen to their ideas and needs, respect their opinions and ideas, and communicate effectively with their children. At the same time, parents should also actively share their ideas and experiences with their children to better understand their children's growth process.
Fourth,Give your child some autonomy.
The parent-child relationship needs to be based on mutual trust and respect, and parents can appropriately give their children enough self-esteem, so that children can learn to think independently and solve problems independently.
This will not only improve your child's self-confidence, but also build their trust and gratitude to their parents.
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Pay attention to these 3 points and get through the child's rebellious period smoothly!
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Teach her patiently and try to satisfy her but don't give money... Something like that.
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How to educate boys to be rebellious How to educate boys to be rebellious.
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