The secret of a long lasting relationship between husband and wife is not love?

Mutual needs will produce love, and love may not necessarily meet needs, the so-called "suitable", probably so.

In 1054, the Great Song Empire was as calm as a pool of stagnant water. At this time, no one will notice that there is a spring tide surging in Meishan, Sichuan. Eighteen-year-old Su Shi walks with a windy breeze and makes barbell-like laughter from time to time.

Not long ago, Su Shi's teacher invited him to his home for dinner, and said earnestly: "Xiao Su, I admire you very much. I have a daughter named Wang Fu, would you like to be my son-in-law?”

What a good thing, Su Shi immediately said: "If you want it, you have to get it." Soon after, Su Shi and Wang Fu got married.

The marriage of a young couple is as sweet as first love, and no matter what the outcome of the future is, it will leave a deep trace in the hearts of the two. Smart people are a bit "stupid."

In our memory, Su Shi was an optimist, who never left his hand and smiled every day, and although he had no fixed assets and savings, he lived a very happy life. But deep down, he always left a corner. There are his warmest days and the people he loves the most, whenever he is uncomfortable, he goes to that corner to take a look and talk to Wang Fu.

Then, get up and keep fighting. Having said that, Wang Fu can make Su Shi unforgettable, not only because they are each other's first love, but in their short time together, each other is someone who cannot be missing from each other. Su Shi is talented and motivated, which is the hope of a small family.

Wang Fu is empathetic and can make up for her husband's shortcomings. The so-called "suitable marriage" and "comfortable to get along" are nothing more than that. 10 years after Wang Fu's death, Su Shi still remembers the beauty of the beginning, even if he later married two wives, he could not replace Wang Fu's position.

There is a line in the movie "Dream Travel":

Death is not terrible, what is really terrible is being forgotten. When the people closest to us leave us, do they really leave?

No. They just went to a place we hadn't been before, and that place was in our hearts.

May we all be remembered for a longer time.

Be tolerant of each other, understand and try not to quarrel.

Love becomes family affection will be the longest.

Mutual needs will produce love, love does not necessarily meet needs, and it will be family affection in the future.

The two communicate more, and if they can, they don't quarrel.

It is to understand each other more and empathize.

Feelings are the foundation, and life is still important.

We should still tolerate and understand each other.

Mutual needs produce love, and love does not necessarily meet needs

True love is built on the basis of emotion, and marriage is built on the basis of emotion. Although many people say that "marriage is the burial of love", in fact, if it is managed well, in marriage, this relationship can still be refrigerated. And in marriage, there are still emotional imperatives for others, so if you can effectively satisfy the emotional imperatives of others, then the relationship between the two of you will be very stable.

There are actually many such emotions that must be there, for example, when the other party must care, your caring words, a caring gaze, and caring posture will make him feel warm and loved. This kind of care will give him a feeling of "being loved and backed by", which will naturally strengthen his dependence, trust and affection for you.

When he is sad, you should also spare no effort to care for him and cherish him, but her warmest emotional harbor. Digest and absorb his unpleasantness, comfort her, comfort him, and make his bad mood disappear. After all, husband and wife need to take care of each other and be warm to each other, and the satisfaction of such emotional needs is the best reflection.

In addition, there is another need that is particularly crucial, and that is the spiritual need. After all, it is often said that only two excellent people with a compatible soul and three views can go longer. Whether it is the concept of consumption, or the outlook on life and life values, only this kind of spiritual level of items can make this love more long-term and stable.

The creation of the relationship between husband and wife must be conditional on the mutual love of the two people, and it is built on the basis of perfect love, because both parties have feelings for each other. In such a situation, it is also a very routine thing to have physical reflections and needs, which is not something to be ashamed of, but an expression of love between the two.

Therefore, even if an old couple has entered the temple of marriage, if they love each other, then they will definitely have physiological needs, expecting others to satisfy themselves. Such physiological needs may be kissing, hugging, or other closeness, or sexual intercourse. And in the same way, this physiological need for closeness can also drive the connection between the two of you at a certain level.

First of all, two people should communicate frequently, be honest with each other, don't deceive each other, don't challenge each other's bottom line, and don't have a cold war after a quarrel.

Respect each other and tolerate each other, so that we can be better together and accompany each other for a long time.

Two people must tolerate each other, trust each other, resolve conflicts in a timely manner, and do not treat each other in a cold and violent way.

Respect each other, understand each other, communicate in a timely manner, make progress together, grow together, when husband and wife get along, they must understand each other, only by understanding each other can we achieve great things, and only by communicating in time can we know each other's inner thoughts and make the right decision.

It's whether two people can know how to help each other, understand each other, trust each other, care for each other, support each other, and whether they can face and solve difficulties together.

Two people should understand each other, tolerate each other, be considerate of each other, give each other enough space, and trust each other.

After 5 years of marriage, I am still very happy. When it comes to the secret of long-lasting love, it is probably that my husband and I have always had a habit of chatting for half an hour before going to bed, sometimes for longer. Usually my husband and I are very busy at work, we are busy with work during the day, and we don't have time to chat, only the half hour before going to bed belongs to us.

The only thing we can do to make our love last is to work hard to improve our abilities. Because, only when we become a useful person, our partner will not leave us.

As the saying goes, if you don't speculate for more than half a sentence, it is because you don't have common interests and hobbies, and there are many couples who find that the difference in each other's living habits is very large, and they can't even play together, which also causes emotional rifts, which is likely to lead to breakups over time, so it is very important to cultivate common interests and hobbies.

Just wanting to fall in love and not wanting to get married is not going to end well.

If you want to maintain the same enthusiasm and liking as when you are in a relationship, it takes the efforts of both parties, and both parties must work together towards the same goal, so that the relationship can last for a long time. This is also the secret of long-lasting love.

If you want love to last for a long time, it definitely takes the dedication and hard work of two people to maintain a love. Because love is a matter of two people, not one person. Love needs two people to take care of it for a long time.

The secret of long-lasting love is to tolerate each other more, and we must accept each other's shortcomings and not dislike them, so that two people can work together for a long time.

The secret of long-lasting love is mutual tolerance and mutual understanding. There is also the ability to trust each other. The most important thing is that true love can last for a long time.

I think the secret of long-lasting love is to rely on each other, once a person can't leave you, it is bound to be with you for the rest of his life.

Establish a good communication mechanism between two people, communicate regularly, and don't put problems in their hearts and tolerate each other.

I think the secret of long-lasting love is that two people are harmonious, and problems can be solved in time.

The secret of long-lasting love should be to know each other and be considerate of each other.

The secret of long-term love, that is, when getting along, both parties should be tolerant and tolerant, and then treat each other equally, don't dislike each other Well, both sides are the kind of understanding, that love is long-lasting, because life, it is not smooth sailing, firewood, rice, oil and salt, all kinds of things, then when encountering these things, we must learn to tolerate. And then it lasts a long time.

I don't know, I don't think love lasts long, nothing is set in stone.

The secret of long-lasting love is that you and your lover "smell like each other".

Generally speaking, people have a good impression of each other because they have the advantages that can attract each other, and then they get close to each other, and finally stay together; However, one of the most important reasons for analyzing those who end up breaking up is because they can't stand each other's shortcomings.

That is, people are close because of their strengths and separate because of their weaknesses. But for two people to have a long-term relationship, they need to not only tolerate each other's shortcomings, but also accept and even like each other.

For example, men don't fold quilts, and women think it's nothing, just to let the quilt breathe; Women like to shop and dress up, and men think that this is the expression of life and the "appearance of women who please themselves". In this way, it is a shortcoming and weakness in the eyes of others, but it is nothing between these two people, and there will be no conflict because of this. (Small conflicts tend to escalate.)

In fact, there are many couples who end up breaking up because of big and small problems such as folding quilts and loving consumption.

Many people do not understand the truth and believe in another great fallacy about love: if there is love, there is everything; For the sake of love, everything can be changed.

Psychological research tells us that once a person's personality and behavior are set, it is quite difficult to change. (For example, men's smoking and drinking, men's life is informal.) ）

Therefore, you can't expect to change the other person's shortcomings through love - you don't expect love to change the other person's habit of not folding quilts - otherwise you will probably be disappointed.

Actually, if you think about it, you can understand that he can also think like this with the same logic, if you love him, how can you want to change him?

Therefore, before marriage, don't just see the strengths of the other person, but through in-depth interaction - time will reveal the true face - understand what the other person has that is a disadvantage in the eyes of ordinary people, and then ask yourself if it is tolerable, acceptable and even liked for yourself. If the answer is yes, then congratulations: if the answer is no, then be careful, it is likely to become the fatal wound of the marriage relationship in the future.

In short, in addition to the "fragrance" of the same, if the two people also have the same "smell", then the marriage will have a solid foundation for a long time.

Let yourself be more tolerant and generous, and it's hard to be confused if it's not too principled.

Husband and wife love each other only when they "respect each other". For the vast majority of marriages in life, this attitude is more realistic.

Love has magic, it can make people crazy and lose their minds, and it can also make people grow better from it, so when a person falls into love, the most common manifestation is to suffer from gains and losses, fear of losing the person he loves, and worry that the relationship will not last long.

We all know that love needs to be managed, and lovers need to be protected, so how can we keep love by our side for a little longer?

Some people will say, pay, as long as you really pay, the other party will always have a heartbeat, and naturally it will get closer and closer to us, but emotional things also pay attention to fate and skills, not just rely on a passionate effort to get the desired results.

There are also people who say that if you are together, you will come and go if you are not together, and those who love themselves will never leave no matter what they are, and those who do not love us, even if we take out our hearts, the other party may not be able to cherish them.

In fact, there is a secret to a long-lasting relationship, and this secret is hidden in several classic laws, if you understand, it is not difficult to have a long-term relationship.

01. A good relationship requires both parties to manage it carefully.

Some people say: "Feelings are not eternal flowers, buy them and find a vase to insert them, and you can be beautiful forever." It is more like a flower, which requires two people to spend time and effort to cultivate, so that it can bloom often. ”

Both partners have an emotional account, and if you blindly withdraw and don't give at all, it will be emptied quickly.

Ideally, save some in and take some out to maintain a dynamic balance.

After all, the relationship that goes both ways is meaningful, and the relationship that comes and goes is the longest.

02. The best relationship is to be independent and dependent on each other.

Writer Zhou Guoping once said: "Love can be intimate, but it can't be inseparable." ”

No matter how good the relationship is, it is necessary to leave independent space for each other; No matter how intimate the relationship is, don't try to control the other person.

Otherwise, if the two get too close and grasp too tightly, it may cause friction and discomfort, and it may also bring pressure to the other party, and in the end it will only drift apart.

The ideal state of men and women together should be "H" shaped, independent of each other, and emotionally maintained, growing up separately and achieving each other.

03. In the face of your partner, praise more and compare less.

It is often said, "A good man is boastful, and so are a good woman." ”

Because, in the bottom of their hearts, everyone hopes to be encouraged and recognized by others, so that they can have more motivation to get better.

Between partners, appropriate praise not only makes communication smoother, but also warms up feelings; Not only does it help to show love, but it also helps the other person to become a better person.

So, don't always compare your partner with others, blame them and deny them when you are not satisfied. Doing the same thing in this world not only makes the partner feel frustrated, but may also push him further and further.

04. Only by tolerating each other and accommodating each other can we go further.

No one is perfect, and everyone has shortcomings. Since there is no perfect person in this world, there is no perfect partner.

How long a relationship lasts depends to some extent on how long you can tolerate your partner's shortcomings.

It can also be said that one of the secrets of long-term relationships lies in long-term tolerance and accommodation. Because love chose tolerance, and because I didn't want to lose each other, I made accommodations.

The long-term relationship is not without friction, nor is it completely compatible, but the two are in contradictions, searching for each other, accommodating each other, and going through a long time together.