For more information about my life problems, please see the question supplement. 20

In fact, many times I also want to ask my parents a question: Do you want me to be happy? Or do you wish I was a machine with no ego that could make a lot of money?

It seems to me that there is no shortage of veritable machines in today's society. When I was a child, I went to school and compared my grades with other children, went to college, better than anyone's university, worked, compared to whose salary was higher, and who could make more money ......Mixed in society for a long time than who became the boss ......It seems that all my life has been spent in the process of being compared. I am from the countryside, and the village is not big, but the mouths in the village are indeed bigger than the other, and sometimes they are even reluctant to go home, but it is useless to hide.

Actually, my idea is to stick to yourself and let them say go, you live well, your own happiness does not come from other people's mouths. I would also like to say, if I can make a lot of money, but I am not happy at all, would you like to see me like that? However, my parents generally don't screw with us, basically we choose by ourselves, after all, they also know the current society very well.

In fact, parents want their children to be rich just because they want their children to live better than themselves, their thoughts are understandable, but when it comes to whether they have lived happily or not, I think parents should understand. Try to give some examples that apply to them. Personal opinion, for reference only.

You communicate with your father, do you want you to live a healthy and happy life, or live a depressed life all day long.

In this world, it is too difficult to stay out of the world.

The phone was out of battery, lying on the train, looking out the window at the pitch black, I didn't know where I was, I only knew that I was on the way to Yishui, Shandong, which made me think about life.

How similar is this life to this journey. We may know what we want and do our best to go where we want to go, but at some point in our lives, we still can't help but wonder: where are we now?

We couldn't answer such questions at that time, and perhaps we couldn't find the answer in our lifetime, so we could only move forward with courage in this confusion.

The sky is getting white, and I look out the window at the scenery and go away. I can't help but sigh in my heart: What is distance?

What is distance measured by? What is the distance from Wuhan to Beijing and Wuhan from Wuhan to Shandong? A simple search shows that Wuhan is about 1,174 kilometers away from Beijing, and Wuhan is about 847 kilometers away from Shandong.

So, the actual distance is greater than the latter, but why do I feel that the distance of the latter is greater than the former? Is it because of the so-called psychological distance? But no matter what the distance is, there needs to be a quantity that can measure them, so what exactly is this quantity?

I think it's time. Although it is not scientific to measure distance in terms of time, it has its own function. Because for people on the journey, what they really care about is not how far the distance is, but how to get to the place they want to go in the shortest time.

Here, time is distance.

Perhaps, there are no answers to many questions in life, but only in the process of seeking answers, we can slowly give these questions the meaning of thinking.

Written on Tuesday, September 2, 2020.

Meaning: When life is proud, you should indulge in joy, and don't let this golden cup be empty to the bright moon.

Life must be happy, don't make the gold bottle empty to the moon. "From the great poet Li Bai of the Tang Dynasty "Will Enter the Wine".

"Will Enter the Wine" is not long, but it has five tones and an extraordinary atmosphere.

It is full of pen and ink, extremely sad and angry, and extremely arrogant and calm. For example, the poem repeatedly uses huge numbers ("Qianjin", "Three Hundred Cups", "Ten Thousand Cups", "Ten Thousand Wines", "Thousand Golden Qiu", "Eternal Sorrow", etc.) to express heroic poetry, and at the same time, it does not give people a sense of empty and exaggerated, the root of which lies in its full and deep inner feelings, the surging depression and anger under the underlying wine talk.

In addition, the whole article has ups and downs, the poetry is flickering, from sadness to joy, to wildness, to anger, and then to wildness, and finally to the "eternal sorrow", responding to the beginning of the article, such as the river rushing, there are momentum, there are also twists and turns, vertical and horizontal, and the strength can carry the tripod. There is a pregnant writing method in his songs, and there is a magic workmanship, "no pen and ink path", which is neither deliberately portrayed and carved to learn, nor can it be achieved hastily.

Who the child is playing for.

A group of children frolicked in front of an elderly man's house, screaming loudly. A few days passed, and the old man could not bear it.

So he came out and gave each child 25 cents and said to them, "Thank you for making this place so lively, I feel a lot younger." ”

The kids were happy and still came the next day, frolicking as always. The old man came out again and gave 15 cents to each child. He explained that he had no income and could only give less. Fifteen cents was okay, and the kid still walked away in high spirits.

On the third day, the old man gave only 5 cents to each child.

The children were furious, "It's only 5 cents a day, do you know how hard we work!" "They swore to the old man that they would never play for him again.

Who are you "playing" for

There are two types of human motivation: internal motivation and external motivation. If we act according to internal motivations, we are our own masters. If it is external motivation that drives us, we are swayed by external factors and become slaves to it.

In this parable, the old man's calculation is simple, he turns the children's internal motivation "to play for their own pleasure" into an external motivation to "play for the cents", and he manipulates the external factor of cents, so he also manipulates the children's behavior. Does the old man in the fable look like your boss or boss? And cents, like your salary, bonuses and all sorts of external incentives?

If we use external evaluation as a reference coordinate, our emotions are prone to fluctuations. Because, external factors are beyond our control, and it is easy for them to deviate from our internal expectations, make us dissatisfied, and make us complain. Negative emotions such as resentment and grumbling make us miserable, and in order to reduce our suffering, we have to lower our internal expectations, most often by reducing the level of effort we work.

The main reason why a person will form an external evaluation system is that his parents like to control him. Parents are too fond of using verbal rewards and punishments, material rewards and punishments to control their children, and ignore their children's own motives. Over time, children forget their original motivations and care about external evaluations in everything they do.

When he went to school, he forgot the original motivation for learning——— curiosity and joy of learning; After working, he forgot the original motivation for work——— the joy of growth, and the evaluation of his boss and the ups and downs of his income became the source of his greatest happiness and pain in work.

Remember: external evaluation systems often run in families, but you can break them and nurture your own internal evaluation system from now on, so that learning and working can become "play for yourself".

I'm sure you'll play for yourself! You only get one chance! You can only go to the world once!

I have summarized a lot of good things, life is very simple and complicated. What kind of life do you want, your natural environment and your acquired efforts. How do you want to um, or. Life is how you spend this life.

This question is a good question, you should carefully analyze, is it your reason, or your friend's reason, the most rare thing in life is to communicate, more contact does not mean that their relationship is very good, not contact does not mean that they will be strangers in the future, the real friend is that the two of you are together Although there is nothing to say, but still do not feel embarrassed, what you have to do is: be the best yourself, treat every friend around you sincerely, and believe that time will be the best witness. You may be lonely and bored, but you have to overcome this psychological problem, loneliness only belongs to lonely people ......Set a goal and find to pursue your life.

Hope it helps.

In fact, the so-called popularity is just a manifestation of social ability. I don't think you're looking for this kind of purposeful popularity, you should want that kind of relationship with a real hardcore buddy. Actually, it's very simple, among the people you fancy and want to date, when they need you the most, you can show up in time and do what a hardcore buddy should do, then, you will win the heart.

However, I would advise you. To be a friend is to have the consciousness of being a friend, not to be timid and afraid of things, not to suffer from gains and losses. If you do, I'm sure you'll get something.

After all, people's hearts are made of flesh. Whoever really cares about whom, can definitely feel it.

Popularity is so useful! But you have to have friends! Get in touch with others! Be proactive! But don't talk too much! That's going to be boring!

First of all, you have to recognize the reason why you have few friends and are not popular enough, what is the reason? Change yourself, expand your circle of friends, know more people, communicate more, understand others and let others understand you, in order to find friends who are suitable for you. In addition, don't always think about old friends, old friends will always have to separate, they have new friends, their energy is limited, it is impossible to be as close to you as before, so you also need to meet new friends and keep in touch with old friends.

You have to be cheerful, usually pay more attention to current affairs or something, and be able to pick up the conversation when chatting with others, don't want people to say that you don't know, how to talk to others.

Treat people sincerely, and you will get sincerity!

Also, don't feel inferior because you have few friends, because it is the low self-esteem that leads to bad popularity, when communicating with others, you must be neither humble nor arrogant, lively and cheerful, and broad-minded, don't be angry because of a friend's words or two, such a person wants to be friends with him.

Signs of pure soul: gratitude, praise, piety, trustworthiness, honesty, kindness, diligence, simplicity, agility and liveliness, cleanliness, innocence, modesty, modesty, modesty, tolerance, openness, selflessness, positivity, optimism, enthusiasm, humor, love and kindness.

See if you're caused by mental imperfections. Strive to make yourself perfect!

Praise is a symbol of the abundance of a person's soul, and praise God, nature, and others are signs of spiritual beauty.

Gratitude is the first element of sublimation life. Repentance is the most effective way to purify the mind.

Gratitude is the source of happiness and the basis for living in harmony with God's natural human masses. As long as you have a grateful heart and a humble heart, you can shape it into a great tool, and you can obtain the "Anuttara Sambodhi", and you can achieve the greatest wish, once you lack gratitude and humility, it is "rotten wood cannot be carved".

Praise makes a person perfect, and fastidious makes a person incomplete. Only those who are rich in heart will praise others, and those who are poor in spirit will never praise others. People who are perfect in themselves often praise others, and people who are ugly in themselves often find fault with others and belittle others.

In order to make others happy and happy, the Zen Monastery advocates turning a blind eye to people's flaws, but praising people's bright spots, so that over time, people will become kind and compassionate, they will become beautiful, they will become grateful, and they will become reasonable.

If you say good things, you can say it to your heart's content, the wind and rain are smooth in He, and sweet words are conducive to love.

Look more at the strengths and strengths of others, and focus less on the shortcomings and shortcomings of others; Think more about your shortcomings and shortcomings, and less about showing off your strengths and strengths.

In fact, life is like a card, don't care how good your cards are, and in you have a garbage card but can play well, how to play, first of all, you have to have connections, you have friends, friends don't care about one or two more confidants, but other people, including what you hate, also have to hand, but the degree will be very different, so you must go back to people, people are also ruthless and simple, friends play basketball, you give him a bottle to sleep ......Learn to deal with people, you won't be inferior, hit with your hands, give points.

If you want to have more friends, in a word, work hard to make money, and when you have more money than others, everyone will come to slap you. I don't know if the landlord knows, people generally like to associate with people who are a little richer than themselves and a little more motivated than themselves. So work hard to make money.

Because the landlord himself is not motivated, so the popularity is not good. Hang out with them once in a while. I believe that there will be more and more friends in the future.

This kind of realm may not be achieved even if you are a monk.

I feel that the most important thing in life is to be happy, and my family and friends are healthy.

But it's so tragic. Wait.