Why do friends have conflicts over time?

When you first met, you had a good impression of each other, and you would be more concerned about what the other party would do, and you would also think about whether the other party could accept it. Anyway, you'll both think a little more about each other in the beginning. After all, I just met, and my good feelings are still there, so I think I should be kind to my friends and don't worry so much.

But after a long time together, you will feel that you have become very familiar with each other, and you don't have to worry about so many small details anymore. The initial caution may become more so-so, and it is impossible to say that you have to think about the interests of your friends at all times, and then life will be more tiring.

For example, you got up early today to go out for breakfast, but your friend hasn't gotten up yet, but you didn't bring him back when you went out to eat, because you think he might get up late, and it will be cold when he goes, and he will go to eat when he gets up by himself, but he thinks that you have gone out to eat, why don't you bring it back for him to eat by the way; For example, if you have different ideas about the same thing, and he wants to persuade you to think the same as him, but you want him to agree with your ideas, in this case, one of you will definitely be in a more anxious tone, and then the other party will be very unhappy when he hears it, and then there may be contradictions and quarrels.

In fact, no matter how good a friend is, he will not say that the thoughts, the tastes must be exactly the same, this kind of need to be run-in, if both parties want to let the other party accept or approve of their own thoughts, it is more difficult. Everyone's experience is different, the process of growing up is different, and learning things is different, so everyone's opinions are different. But often if you don't agree with the other person's point of view, he will think, why are you my good friend, you don't agree with my point of view, you don't agree with it, forget it, why do you still say something to refute, but in fact, you didn't say anything to refute, you just said your own point of view.

So that's how the contradiction arises.

And in fact, everyone has a little bit of jealousy, if you are very good, and you want to develop better, he may be more depressed at this stage. So even if he wants to be genuinely happy for you, deep down he is a little unbalanced. Then if you have to comfort him at this time, persuade him to work hard, not to give up or anything, he may feel that you are pitying him, if he has strong self-esteem, he will feel that he can't hang on to face, and naturally there will be some contradictions.

Therefore, although we all know that friends should be honest with each other, and sincerely happy for each other's achievements, sometimes people are more selfish, as the saying goes, people do not destroy for themselves, so the better friends may inadvertently have contradictions.

Friends are bound to have conflicts. I think this is normal, have you ever seen a pair of friends who have never quarreled or contradicted? Not really.

In fact, a proper conflict can actually promote the feelings between friends. So I don't think it's a big deal to have a conflict between friends, but you must talk about it, you must solve this contradiction, don't keep this contradiction, if two people ignore each other like this, and don't solve this contradiction, then it is very likely that your friendship will be ruined like this.

After a long time, why do friends have conflicts again? Because friends are all people who get along with each other. Everyone's personality is different, so if two people get along together, the character shortcomings between them will be exposed.

The other party will not be able to see each other's shortcomings. And friends get along with each other at the beginning, they are a little fresh, and they give each other a good impression, so they will be very careful to maintain this relationship, but after a long time, their freshness is gone, and they will feel that everyone is an old friend, and there is no need to be so attentive to maintain this relationship, this relationship is strong enough. But in fact, it's just their illusion, their friendship is not very strong at all, so if they don't maintain this friendship with their hearts, their character shortcomings will be exposed, and the contradictions between them will become bigger and bigger, so it is likely that a certain thing will become the fuse, so that their contradictions will be out of control.

However, after being able to solve this contradiction, two people can understand each other better, so I think sometimes, some contradictions between friends can still promote friendship, but we must pay attention to solve this contradiction, not let it get bigger and bigger, so that this friendship will be ruined.

As the saying goes, the spoon inevitably touches the rim of the pot. Between people, no matter how intimate the headlines are, there will inevitably be contradictions. The same is true among friends.

So, what are the general reasons for conflicts between friends?

1. Boredom.

After spending a long time with each other, friends lose their initial sense of novelty and reserve, and the two sides become less careful and polite. If one or both of them are more sensitive, they will think that the other party intends to snub them, and they will naturally feel uncomfortable inside, which will lead to psychological estrangement.

2. Differing views or substantive contradictions.

Although friends have a close relationship with each other, they will inevitably become rivals in work and study, and if both parties cannot take a correct view of this kind of competition, or mix emotional factors with work and study, it is inevitable that they will regard each other as "real opponents" in all aspects, resulting in some contradictions. For example, if the employer recommends a model candidate to a superior, both parties are excellent, and the result is that one of them is recommended and the other is unsuccessful. If the person who loses the election does not accept the result calmly, he may suspect that his friend has done something, and a conflict may arise.

3. Expectations are too high.

Helping each other among friends is the embodiment of friendship and the catalyst for friendship. However, when one party encounters difficulties and expects the other party to provide timely help, if the other party does not do so or does not have the ability to do so, the party in difficulty will inevitably feel that the other party is not "buddy" enough.

Fourth, the misunderstanding deepened.

Between friends, there is nothing to talk about, and it is inevitable that some more personal and private topics will be involved. If one party intentionally or unintentionally spreads it to others, and the other party spreads it to the outside world, it will inevitably cause unnecessary influence and embarrassment to the other party. When this happens many times, it will inevitably cause mutual defense and affect the relationship between friends.

Between friends, conflicts are inevitable. The right attitude is understanding and tolerance, so that you are a true friend.

We all have such a phenomenon, when we first know someone, we will think that this person is good, but after a period of time to get along slowly, we will find out, hey! How did this person change, he no longer looked like the one we knew before, so he began to regret that he had seen the wrong person at the time, but in fact, in fact, this is what he was originally like, but you didn't fully understand him at the time, just shaped his character traits according to your own imagination, and when you find the real him, you will sigh that he is different from what you imagined, but he has not changed. I think there are several reasons why there will be conflicts after getting along for a long time:

First: I don't understand, what I see is a superficial phenomenon, when we first met, we often get along very happily, because you haven't experienced anything together at that time, you have been together for a long time, there will be many things, there will be contradictions, this is a normal phenomenon, after all, people get along with each other, there will always be a conflict of ideas, there are different styles of doing things, of course, there will be a certain conflict of interest, in the face of these, people's emotions are often very fragile, sometimes they can't stand the test at all, this is human nature, Everyone is accustomed to thinking from their own point of view, so there will be contradictions.

Third: Anyone has contradictions, don't get along with friends for a long time, think that there is a contradiction, give up this relationship, don't want this friend, don't say that there will be conflicts with friends who have no blood relationship with you, even with parents, and family, sometimes it is inevitable that there will be some small contradictions, small frictions. These are all normal conditions.

When there are contradictions, we should resolve the contradictions and eliminate the estrangement, instead of choosing to give up.

It's extremely normal for friends to have conflicts when they've been together for a long time. Friends will quarrel over all kinds of big and small things, and it seems that they are caused by external objects, but in the final analysis, it is the reason for the personality. After all, everyone's personality is different, and conflicts caused by personality disagreements are common in everyday life, and even the best friends quarrel over disagreements.

In fact, in normal times, we tend to be restrained when facing our friends to avoid conflicts. However, it is impossible for people to blindly converge their temperament, and they will always erupt at certain moments and situations, so contradictions are inevitable. The only way to resolve a conflict is for one party to realize their mistake and take the lead in apologizing and admitting it.

Actually, I've experienced a lot of quarrels with good friends. One of the most recent acquaintances happened a few months ago, when I returned to the dormitory after class, a few friends wanted to play cards but didn't have a card, and finally played cards online on the computer. In the first game, I was eliminated early, and I was very unhappy in my heart, and I complained a few words, but I almost got into an argument, and I quickly stopped.

However, the next day, the matter was again brought up by others, and the argument inevitably ensued. In the final analysis, such an incident was caused by my character's "truthfulness" and "refusal to admit defeat", and then that friend was also enraged, although there was no big quarrel but a cold war, I thought I was ridiculous at the time! That night, I apologized to him seriously, after all, it was my fault, and I didn't want to lose a good friend.

Seriously, with the usual personalities of the two of us, we will never quarrel, because the personalities of the two of us are usually more modest and attach great importance to friendship. But there is a slight difference in personality, he sometimes talks crazy, and I seem too serious.

Why did they become friends? A friend is someone who has a longer time with each other than a stranger, and has the same interests, so they naturally become friends. The process of becoming friends is a process of getting acquainted.

Human beings are the most complex creatures, and human emotions are also the most complex. The longer it is, the more conflicts there are between friends, and I think there are the following:

1. Time makes each other more familiar. Being friends is because they have the same things as each other, but not exactly the same as each other. The longer we get in touch with each other, the more differences between friends are exposed.

With more and more differences, it is easy to create contradictions. This is quite normal.

2. Time makes each other more trusting. If you disagree, would you lose your temper with someone who has just become friends and is still a fairly stranger? I don't think so.

But what if you've been together since childhood? Maybe it's going to happen when you get into a fight. We will be "unscrupulous" to say our truest thoughts to our long-time friends, and we may be dishonest or silent about others.

Because we trust old friends, we will not be apart even if there are unpleasant differences. And we feel most comfortable with such a group of friends. Time allows us to understand each other, and time gives us trust.

3. Time allows us to change quietly. Everyone has their own path to follow, and little by little we change as we get older. It's like a friend in elementary school, who has experienced junior high school, high school entrance examination, college entrance examination ......Friends choose different choices at the crossroads of life, and the more they go, the more distant they become.

The environment and characters are different, and the more natural conflicts there are. This is an inevitable result.

Life is all about countless encounters and goodbyes. Time-tested friends are the most precious friendships. It's not easy to meet a close friend in life. It's normal to have conflicts, and it's precious to have people who end up with us through them.

Friends are indispensable in our lives, there will be a long time to get along with a short time, but often we are always more enthusiastic about those new friends, but ignore the old friends, which may also be one of the reasons for the conflict over time, relative to the new friends, we get along with the friends for a long time to understand us better, and the affection will naturally be deeper, the conflict may be because you ignore him because of the new friend, he is jealous, people are often like this, The closer you are, whether it is relatives or friends, you will play some tricks on them, and for those who have been together for a short time, you don't know each other yet, and often show them a better side of yourself. <>

I believe that everyone will have such doubts in their hearts, and I am no exception, when I was in elementary school, I made a few very good friends, almost everything, even junior high school, high school was also together, as if fate was arranged like this, but in junior high school, there were some small contradictions, just because the relationship was very good, no matter what I did, there would be comparisons. The exam will compare who does well, who does the question right, and even make friends will take into account whether he likes that ......person or notMaybe it's because of this contrast, or it can also be said to be competition, so that we have some small contradictions between each other, after which we didn't even say a word, and we didn't go back to home together, and meeting each other was the same as seeing the enemy, and now that I think about it, I really regret it.

Of course, everyone has the right to make friends, the reason why we make friends for a long time will have small contradictions, that is because the relationship is too good, understand each other, but also trust each other, no matter what kind of contradictions, we must cherish this friendship, do not give up easily, friendship is really what we need for a lifetime, after a long time there will be contradictions that are because we understand each other too much, care about each other will be like this, please be sure to cherish it.