Please help me comment on my article 2, I want to publish it, thank you

The landlord is a junior high school student, right? If you want to publish an article, your language skills need to be improved. The beginning is a bit lengthy and doesn't get straight to the point.

You're trying to foreshadow, but you're missing the point. Don't write aimlessly. And the title of your article is sweet milk tea...

I think it's a rather failed idea. Because your main purpose is not to write about how sweet milk tea is, but to prove that you need to pay attention to the way you do things. In addition, the closing part is too monotonous.

It's just a few simple sentences, which make people incomprehensible. "My steps are getting lighter and faster, and the milk tea in my mouth seems to be sweeter! "It feels like it's going to be chiseled.

Maybe I'm asking too much. If the words are too mean, I hope to forgive me.

Thank you for publishing this article and sharing it with us, thank you!

Write more about your feelings, the beginning is too long, the title should be "The Difference between the Two Bubble Tea Shops", and the matter of buying milk tea is more beautiful.

Personally, I think that if you want to publish it, it depends on how far you write the article, whether you are a junior high school student or a high school student. Secondly, I think that the point is not prominent enough, and the article as a whole reads very bland. In fact, the story is a good story, if you want to write it into the genre of **, I think the later feelings don't have to write too much, and leave it to the reader to experience, which is more meaningful.

The five colors are blinding; The pentatonic tone is deafening; The five flavors are refreshing; galloping and hunting, making people mad; Rare goods, people are in trouble.

It is not the goal of the saint's belly, so he goes to the other and takes this.

Remembering the past and seeing the present, we should be fine.

The author has gained a deep understanding through the meticulous taste of life, and uses tea as a metaphor to vividly convey this kind of understanding, which is really a masterpiece.

This article starts with a girl's job search experience, and highlights the heart-warming moments in the society, telling us that as long as everyone treats others and the society well, there will be true feelings everywhere in the world, and there will always be love.

The article advocates a kind of value pursuit that is urgently needed by society, spreads positive energy, and promotes the core values of socialism.

The topic of the article is prominent, and the emotional thread runs through the article. In particular, the title of the article is novel and unique, which has a timeless meaning, which adds a lot of color to the article.

The temperature of the topic is the temperature of the society, which attracts readers, stimulates readers' interest in reading, and points out the center of the article. The whole text has a total of seven natural paragraphs, starting with the heartwarming story of a girl who has received a lot of care, and thinking of the story of a doctor and a driver as a man, and ending with the author expressing his own arguments and lyrics, naming the center of the article, pointing out that there is no lack of warmth in our society. Mutual care, love, tolerance, and encouragement between people can make our society full of love.

The author vividly and meticulously shows the unique scenery of the steep cliffs of Elephant Trunk Rock by the sea from the perspective of a fairyland in the world.

The first section describes the gentle slope of Elephant Trunk Rock on the north side, with lush grass and trees, while the south side is steep and steep and hangs down from the water. The contrasting looks on both sides come to life.

The second paragraph mainly describes the south side of the mountain rock straight up and down, hanging down in the water, which looks like an elephant trunk straight down, and the water surface contrasts with each other, so that a beautiful scenery can be seen.

The author's vivid language takes us to the beach and puts us in it, and we have the urge to go.

1.The beginning is too bland and can't echo the ending. A good article must have a very beautiful beginning.

2.Some sentences are not used skillfully enough, and they are stiff to read. For example, in our class, there is a male student who has just taken ......

This sentence can be written as follows: A boy in the class took the summer vacation homework book and tore it to pieces after dividing it by two......

3.It seems that the author's reason is biased, and the color of the article "Girls must be stronger than boys" is too strong, and there is a suspicion of using points to bring faces. Reading it makes it feel very shallow.

I've revised it for you, so take a look!

Can I relax after graduation?

Finally graduating, we are about to become middle school students. Some time ago, studying was hard, and I need to take a good rest this summer! Maybe because of the long vacation time and the fact that the sixth grade has graduated, some students think that the junior high school teacher will not watch it, so they are lucky and ready not to do homework!

In my class, there was a male student who had just taken his summer homework and tore him up, and now, although the other students didn't tear up the homework, they didn't want to write it. They think it's in vain! But I think that the teacher sent this homework not to occupy our time, but to make our summer vacation life fulfilling.

Small connections are very important! In the summer vacation, I must review what I have learned in elementary school and prepare for junior high school! And those students who are unwilling to do their homework can only be described as "not good".

I asked the boys: How are you going to spend this summer?

Many boys say the same word in unison: "play"!

Girls, on the other hand, are much more interested in learning than boys, saying, "Finish your summer homework first, and then find time to preview your junior high school curriculum; Review the curriculum of the primary school; If you still have time, read more extracurricular books. ”

I don't know why, some boys always lag behind girls, I guess this is the main reason! I really hope that the boys can put away their playfulness, learn from the girls, and then buy a few practice books to do. Although this may seem like a lot, he does make others see that he has a lot of substance.

Of course, this also requires the supervision and cooperation of parents, and the original parents can do their duty and set a good example for their children.

Finally, I wish office workers a smooth sailing in their careers; The elderly are in good health; Students are successful in their studies; Have fun with the kids!

I suddenly remembered that the essay question in my high school entrance examination was called "Today is good".

Don't sigh for the years that have passed, don't indulge in yesterday's mistakes and can't extricate yourself, grasp today, is the most important thing.

This article is vivid and beautiful, showing the importance of love and the beauty of love from various angles, and the last sentence brings out the deep meaning of the word "love". It has a heart-stirring effect.

This article writes the true meaning of love, the description is vivid and lively, people can't help but feel the same way, love is a bridge between people, and the last sentence points out the theme of the whole article''Love'', which makes people sigh, is a good article.

Bad aspects: the paragraphs are too frequent, the elaboration is not in place, and the meaning is not profound.