Why do Chinese parents like to wronged their children in front of others for the sake of fake polite

China's culture is too old, and it was the first country of civilization and etiquette, and it observes etiquette everywhere and values face. I have become accustomed to it now, and the people who can still do it like this are people with culture and status. When children inevitably appear in front of outsiders, false politeness adults understand, but children don't understand, and some children will remember their parents' evaluation of themselves in front of others.

When children face the communication between people alone, they will involuntarily think of the definition given to them by their parents, and they have no confidence at all, let alone free play on the spot. On the other hand, the children who are doted on by their parents dare to say anything and do anything. The situational nature of social education has led to this problem, and it is not an individual that can lead to a comprehensive problem to be solved and implemented.

This problem may not exist in other countries, and it is often seen on television.

This may be what the Chinese call modesty! When I was a child, I was always praised by outsiders, and my parents would prevaricate with some modest words. Now that I have a child, I will always find the wisdom of the child and the place of progress, and I will always be unable to praise the child.

But sometimes, when friends see their children complimenting, they are really embarrassed, and sometimes they will prevaricate. The psychology is happy, but the expression is like this. After speaking, I am afraid that there will be any bad impact on the child, so I will secretly observe the child's expression.

One reason should be that parents demand high for their children, and one reason is that parents are a little embarrassed. Now, a generation like ours is more expressive than our parents' generation and praising their children. But at the same time, I also understand that what my parents do is caused by their personality and the background of the times.

In traditional culture, humility is a virtue, so even if others praise the facts, you need to be polite. And the ancients said that a gentleman can tolerate what people can't bear and be inclusive, so in order to have great achievements, this small grievance is not a grievance, in the eyes of parents. But in the long run, what the child feels is that he is not recognized and accepted, and the child will be hit and lose his self-motivation.

Therefore, parents should change the traditional concept, this is a praise for the child, it is best for the child to accept, and a slight smile from the parent is the best response.

Chinese parents like to let their children bow their heads in front of others, foreign parents like to let their children look up in front of others, the two different results are because of cultural differences, in fact, parents say you in front of others, is to let you remember these problems, at this time you had better not be angry with your parents, because parents are just to show their politeness and modesty, after all, the visitor is a guest.

Parents only take the initiative to "belittle" their children in front of others, but they actually want others to praise their children. Parents generally "belittle" their children in front of familiar people, and they will never say it in front of unfamiliar people, because "family ugliness" is not publicized. (When facing strangers, not only will they not say, but if they don't know each other well, they will definitely not finish with each other, and generally they will not talk about children with strangers).

Some parents always mention the "ugly things" of their children in front of familiar people, or expose them (usually when they were young, rarely now), such as: what happened when they were young, what they did, and so on. In fact, parents always like to mention these things, because these things are the cutest time for their children in their eyes, and it is also the time when they feel happy.

Most parents rarely praise their children, and many times even if they admit that their children have become very good, they will not express it, but will only be happy in private. But the face will "reprimand" the child to prevent pride.

Parents who lack self-recognition often prove their own level through their children's performance! Again, it's about acceptance! First of all, parents should be gentle and firm with themselves, accept and comfort themselves when they encounter difficulties and setbacks, and say not to give up when they want to give up, and have the same attitude towards their children!

The child will feel inferior and sad, and feel that his parents do not love him.

Parents' minds need to be improved.

Because Chinese parents subconsciously missee their children as where they belong, and humility is a virtue. In addition, some parents are worried that if they praise their child vigorously, it will cause their peers to slander him or her for "love now", and if their child does not do well in a certain test, parents are worried that such praise will become a laughing stock for their peers. In fact, it is indeed a big mistake for such parents to not pay attention to the child's mood at this time, but any child with a strong sense of self will be dissatisfied and even negative.

Encouraging education believes that children should grow up gradually with self-confidence, self-improvement and enterprising attitude in a relaxed, harmonious and pleasant atmosphere. Positive reinforcement such as "praise" can be a good way to motivate children. The correct way to praise can be found here.

Web Links. As a child, you should try to be considerate of your parents. You must know that every child is the "pride" of their parents.

As they mature, children are able to see certain aspects of their parents, such as lack of education or lack of education. However, most of the ways parents deal with various things in society are indeed the accumulation of long-term life in society, as well as their own feelings of being frustrated again and again.

If one day, after many years of education, you can say that your parents are not in all aspects, but you should also seriously communicate with your parents ** their understanding of certain things, you may be able to get unexpected gains.

If you are unhappy, you can talk to your parents. It's not that parents won't be wrong, and it's not that parents won't admit mistakes.