Ask for a joke and amuse your daughter in law!

1.The principal and the English teacher visited a middle school in France together, the principal spoke in the auditorium, and the English teacher acted as an interpreter.

Principal: "Teachers and students! ”

English Teacher: "Ladies and gentlemen!" ”

Headmaster: "Ladies and gentlemen! ”

English teacher - thought for a moment and said, "Good morning!" ”

Headmaster: "Good morning! ”

English Teacher: ......=="Khan.

2.He said that there was a polar bear, because the snow was so dazzling, that he had to wear sunglasses to see things, but he couldn't find the sunglasses, so he crawled around on the ground with his eyes closed, crawling and crawling, crawling and crawling dirty to find sunglasses. Put on your sunglasses and look in the mirror, only to find out:

Oh, so I'm a panda.

4.Once upon a time there was a bird who would pass by a cornfield every day, but unfortunately one day there was a fire in that cornfield and all the corn turned into popcorn! The bird flew over and ......I thought it was snowing, and I died of cold.

5.Xiao Ming got a new haircut, and when he came to school the next day, his classmates saw his new hairstyle and said with a smile: Xiao Ming, your head shape looks like a kite! Xiao Ming felt very aggrieved, so he ran outside to cry, crying and crying, and he flew up.

6.The spider fell in love with the butterfly, but the butterfly rejected it, and the spider asked: Why? Here's why! Butterfly said: My mother said that people who mix online all day long are not good people

When a couple of lovers have sex, the man always likes to say, "I'm going to kill you!" "I haven't seen him for a few days, the woman found the male unit, and the man asked: Is there something wrong?" The woman said softly: "It's nothing, I just don't want to live......”

There was a man who was sick and couldn't afford to be seriously ill, and the doctors couldn't do anything about it. One day, Yang Mi's "Offering of Love" was playing on the radio, and he quickly got up and turned on the recording. Hehe, I think it's funny, you know what that means?

Do you have children?

Let's talk about a child.

Kindergarten small class group activities, 3 classes each with a slogan:

Primary one: Small one, small one, always strive for the first.

Primary two: Primary two and little two, unique.

Little three: Little three, little three, dad likes it.

There was a kid who was very unwell-behaved, very unwell-behaved, very unwell-behaved

And then he died.

Landlord, you are so naïve, do you think you know that there are really so many people who reply to your questions? Actually, I replied alone, otherwise I would have changed my ID and sent the same words to you.

Xiansen, please bring me a finger-sucking egg-flavored ultra-thin chopped vegetable iron plate Q cake with wheat crispy cake, and put more special jalapeño braised sauce. "Murmur, talk about people! A pancake fruit with more chili!

Once, a male classmate in my class said to a female classmate, "Your face looks like a lychee." ”

The female classmate said happily, "You mean my face is very white?" ””

The male classmate said, "I haven't skinned it yet." ”

The reporter interviewed an old lady about her views on the firecrackers set off by the people around her and asked: "Auntie, what do you think about this matter?" The old lady said with a look of disdain: "What can I see, lean on the window and watch".

The nephew and uncle were angry and came to apologize, and as soon as the uncle opened the door, he said: "Uncle, I was wrong", and the uncle's eyes squinted: "Uncle, I don't have your uncle."

In another plane, there were 4 people, and suddenly the captain reported: The plane is about to crash, please hurry up and jump down with parachutes on your back, but there are only 3 parachutes on the plane, the captain said, I am more useful, I will jump first, so there are only two parachutes left, and then the second person also said, I am also very useful, so I also go down first, and finally there is only an old man and a child left, the old man said, I am already so old, you are still young, you go down!

But the child said, Uncle just jumped off with my schoolbag on his back, so

5. My classmate said: I put too much laundry detergent on the table. Another asks: What? Your brother has too many daughters-in-law, okay, I'll tell you a joke, I can't tell jokes.

A few days ago, I had a few arguments with my beloved wife over a trivial matter, after which the two of them were very angry, and after nearly 50 hours of silence and coldness to each other, I confessed my mistake to my wife and wanted to end the cold war. After that, he asked his wife, "Wife, are you still angry?" ”

Unexpectedly, the two-year-old son parroted, turned his head and asked, "Wife, are you still angry?" ”

I had no choice but to point out the mistake: "This is my wife, not yours." You should call Mom! ”

The son seemed to want to quickly correct his mistake: "Mom, wife, are you still angry?" ”

Mom is mom, wife is wife, mom is not wife, wife is not mom. ”

Oh, not my wife's mother, are you still angry? ”

Didn't say that. Why isn't your mom a wife? Is it still a big girl? She's my wife.

The son looked dazed, but the wife reacted from a deep smile: "Son, you should say this: 'Daddy's wife, my mother, are you still angry?'" ’”

I couldn't stop laughing: "Is that what you call it?" How cumbersome. Son, remember, when you grow up, you will have your own wife to call, and now you can only call your mother! ”

The son really understood: "Mom, how long will it take for me to call you wife?" ”

Noon on hoe day. I'm hoe He, who is the noon. ok.

Leave your daughter-in-law, that goods must be very annoying.

Behind every successful man is a woman who tortures him.

What my sister said is not human words, it is a myth.

After a few hours in the traffic jam, the buddy finally couldn't stand it anymore, only to see him open the car door with a thunderous bang, open the trunk, and take out a long wooden stick from it. All the people in the traffic jam looked at him in surprise, only to see him scolding and smashing a snail on the ground, scolding while knocking: "Look you still dare to follow me!" ”