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This morning my son lay down on the bed and said to me; Mom, I'll tell you a bad joke, I asked; Do you know what a bad joke is? The son said, "Know a little, not much, I said; A cold joke is to put a joke in the refrigerator to freeze it, and my son said that a hot joke is to put the joke in a pot and cook it. --Found on Joke Island.
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N country name riddle Two ants were walking on the road and suddenly saw a big pear -- hit n country names One ant said, "Oh, big pear" (Italy) Another ant said: "Oh, big pear" (Australia) Hey, move (Spain) Try it occasionally (Russia) Hug home (Bulgaria) Nibble on pears (Kenya) Pears are not tender (Lebanon) Dad, pear Paris) Hehe, those two ants are father and son Dad, take it?
Panama) The ant is a mother and son, and the little ant says: Mom, come and eat (Malaysia) The mother ant says: Child, that's Madrid (mother's pear) One of them shouted when he saw it:
What? The other said: Shhh
Pears (Syria) Nuclear rot (Netherlands), only to know when you eat it, ** bite down. ft, rotten (Finland) A female ant climbs on a pear--- Hungary (chest pressed pear) An ant grabs it and says: This is my pear (Austria) An ant bites a pear and falls out of its teeth:
By Congo) take another bite of the pear....Poisonous! The ant took a bite and found that the pear was not fresh and said: Woo dry (Uganda An ant said to another ant
Brother, it's a big pear! (Costa Rica) An ant took a bite and felt that the pear was not crispy enough, and said, "Noodles."
Myanmar) And pears! Hey!? luck!
Iraq) A ant said to the ant: "Guys, what's the matter!" (Jerusalem), Ant B said to Ant A:
Dizzy, difficult! (Yunnan) Ant A saw the pear and hurriedly rushed up, and Ant B hurriedly stopped: Pear, don't press!
Libya) The ant is not happy: Damn, the pear (in Mali) is not yours! (Liberia) In the end, the two ants divided the pears and ate honeydew in their mouths!
Peru) Two ants who have just learned to speak, brother said: "Sister, fruit" (USA).
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Question: A man prostitutes five women for five cents, guess a mathematical symbol, A: Absolutely.
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At dinner in the evening. Dad: Come on!
Eat a piece of chicken thigh, eat it and you'll be able to run faster! Because "what you eat makes up for what you eat"!. Xiao Ming:
Really! My teacher said that my numeracy skills are poor, so I need to eat more computers to be better? )
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The male butterfly sings to the female butterfly: "You are my lover, a woman like a rose!" After singing, he flew to pick roses. Then came a scream, and the mother butterfly sang: "Honey, fly slowly, watch out for the thorny rose in front!" ”
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The chicken crossed the river and the thief stole a chicken and was plucking the chicken by the river, when a policeman came and the thief hurriedly brought the chicken to the river.
River. The police asked: What are you doing? What's in the river?
The thief said, "It's a chicken, it's going to cross the river, I'm here to help it look after its clothes..."
An aunt in a kindergarten, husband and wife are deeply in love. One day, the husband came to visit his wife, and all the children knew that they were talking to the aunt and ran to the aunt.
shouted in front of him: "Auntie, auntie, your father picked you up." "The aunts spray rice.
One day, a plane flew over a psychiatric hospital....
Suddenly I saw the driver laughing...
The stewardess asked curiously, "Why are you smiling so happily??" 」
I saw him say, "They will be mad when they know that I escaped....Hahaha......」
Xiao Ming and Xiao Hua were watching the evening social news report .......
Image: A man tries to commit suicide by jumping off a tall building
Xiao Ming: Do you think he can jump?
Xiaohua: No!
Xiao Ming: I said he would! Let's bet $200! Good no good?
Xiaohua: Okay! I'll bet with you!
Picture: The man jumps down!
Xiao Hua gave Xiao Ming 200 yuan!
Five minutes later
Xiao Ming said to Xiao Hua with an uneasy conscience: The 200 yuan will be returned to you, in fact, I read the report at noon, so I know that he will jump.
Xiaohua: The 200 yuan belongs to you, because I also read the report at noon, but I don't know why he wants to "jump again"??
Xiao Ming: Ah Fu turned his head to ask his friend next to him while watching the movie: Do you want to bet with me, I dare to beat that bald one.
Under? You hit him and he doesn't fight back? I'm betting fifty dollars. Ah Fu walked behind the bald man, hit him on the head, and then said: Hi, old Lei! The bald man looked back in surprise and replied, "You have recognized the wrong person, I am not old."
Thunder. I'm sorry, Ah Fu walked back to his seat and accepted the fifty yuan his friend had lost to him. Don't you dare.
Can't bet I can hit him again? He asked his friend. My friend didn't believe it and bet a hundred dollars with him. Afu Zai.
Walked behind the bald man, hit him on the head again, and said, "Yo, don't pretend to be garlic, old Lei, I know it's you." 」
Dude, I already told you you were the wrong person. , Ah Fu apologized and walked away. The bald man angrily changed.
a location. But the prankster Ah Fu soon discovers where he is sitting. He said to his friend: You.
If you dare to gamble again, I'm going to hit him again. This time, Ah Fu walked up to the bald man, hit him on the head, and said, "Hey, guess what, old Lei? I mistook the bald man sitting in front of me for you! 」_
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The Seven Strange Sights That the World Can't Explain 1Those who light candles at 2:32 p.m. will see the tragic death of a witch in the 18th century. 2。
If your nails are painted with a layer of black, a layer of white, and a layer of red still intact, someone will confess to you. 3.Peeling apples at 4:38 p.m., if the peel of the apple breaks, 96 hours of inexplicable death.
If you look in the mirror, you will see your past life and how you died. 5.The girl who wears black clothes and doesn't comb her hair at night has no shadow 6
Turn this sticker to more than 5 stickers, and you won't be haunted by the devil and get a wish.
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There are three things that mobile phone users often do: iPhone users - charging, gaming, charging; Nokia Users--Crash Machine·**·Crash Machine: Copycat Users--Phoenix Legend, Phoenix Legend, Phoenix Legend...
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A man's big toe was blue, the doctor said to remove it, 3 days later, 2 toes were also blue and also removed, 5 days later, 3 toes were also blue, there was no way, I had to go to another hospital, a doctor with a magnifying glass to study. After a while, say, one of my years of experience, is that your socks have faded.
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You go to humor for a long time** to see, hehe...
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Classic joke: New as a dream.
Last night, I drank too much, I was dizzy and didn't know the way back, I staggered in the confusion, strayed into the depths of the woods, vomited, vomited, and startled countless mandarin ducks.
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Once upon a time, there was a man whose mother told her to come home for dinner, and she actually went to eat, and finally gained weight
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One said the air was in.
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There was a ghost, one day, he accidentally saw himself in the mirror, and he shouted: Ghost! I scared myself to death.
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Haha, let's pay more attention to this in my circle of friends.
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There is a family surnamed Pan, and the elders have passed away. During the family sacrifice, an old gentleman with a strong local accent was invited to be the master of ceremonies. The obituary is written like this:
Filial piety male: Pan Genke filial piety daughter-in-law: Chi family filial piety granddaughter:
Pan Liangci Filial Piety Sun: Pan Daoshi But this old gentleman is dizzy and his pronunciation is not standard. When he followed the obituary roll call, he didn't see anything that literally had three points of water or the left side of the capital.
So he read it to him like this: Filial piety, turn ......Follow ......Dou ......When Xiaonan heard this, he felt very strange, but he was so sleepy that he didn't dare to ask, so he turned over a fight. And then he said:
Filial piety, also ......Yunnai is ......When the filial daughter-in-law heard it: I'm going to turn it over too? So the filial daughter-in-law also turned over a heel fight.
Again: Filial granddaughter, turn it twice. When the filial granddaughter heard it, she thought that her parents had turned it over, so I would too!
So I flipped two heels. At this time, Xiaosun thought to himself: My father and mother have turned it once, and my sister has also turned it twice, so how many times should I turn it?
Thinking about it, I started to get nervous: What to do? I saw the old gentleman tear open his throat and read out loud:
Filial piety ......Flip ......to ......Dead ......」
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The male teacher read and slept and the girl said angrily: I'm tired to death above, you don't move down there, if you don't cooperate, you just talk about it, and you don't even have a reaction, if there is nothing in your stomach in the future, don't blame the teacher for not being late.
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Children don't eat and are picky eaters, not only digestive problems, but also very likely, lack of heart! ~~
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Lao Zhang has a parrot, he can speak Chinese and Taiwanese, Lao Zhang lives on the second floor of the apartment, the next floor is the gas shop, Lao Zhang every time there is no gas, he shouts downstairs: (Taiwanese), gas is a tube. Over time, the parrot learned.
Once Lao Zhang went on a business trip for five days, this parrot was idle at home, and every day he learned Lao Zhang to call downstairs: (Taiwanese) A tube of gas comes. The workers downstairs carried the gas to Lao Zhang's house, and the parrot barked for several days.
After five days, Lao Zhang came back from a business trip, opened the door and saw that the house was full of gas cylinders, Lao Zhang was very angry, knowing that it was a good thing done by the parrot, so he spread the parrot's wings and nailed it to the wall in the shape of a cross. How many cylinders of gas are you called, and they are also nailed to the wall??
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In the morning, Xiao Ming gets up and gets ready for school!
Before going out, I asked my mother, "Sister and."
Did my brother-in-law get up? ”
Mom said, "Not yet." ”
At noon, Xiao Ming went home for dinner after school.
Then he asked his mother, "My sister and brother-in-law get up."
Is it so? Mom said, "Not yet." ”
In the afternoon, Xiao Ming came home from school and entered the door.
So I asked my mother, "My sister and brother-in-law get up."
Is it so? Mom said, "Not yet, you today."
How do you keep asking this question? ”
I heard my sister ask my brother-in-law to go to the bathroom to get lubricant.
But when I woke up in the morning, I found me in the bath.
A tube of 502 super glue in the chamber is missing. ”
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