If you re in a bad mood today, whoever can tell a joke and laugh out loud will be thanks

When I was in high school, one of the funniest things.

There will be no money, we often pooled money to buy cigarettes, that day my buddy and I bought a box of cigarettes and was about to go to the toilet to smoke, but it turned out to be class, it was the class teacher's class, forget the class first, I saw the guy sneakily writing a note during class, and then kneaded a large ball, and threw it at me.

was seen by the head teacher, the head teacher went down directly to take it away, stood on the podium and began to sweat, if I knew what was written on it, I would rather swallow it than give her head teacher a mouth: "Yak (my nickname, if there is a classmate on the barbar, you can recognize me)", the whole class burst into laughter ......

This pack of cigarettes will give ZJ two first, "The class continues to laugh......Except that ZJ is giving the boss (a classmate's nickname, not really the boss) two sticks "The whole class continues to laugh......Except for ZJ and Boss.

Let's divide the two of us evenly," the whole class was already laughing and their stomachs hurt......The most classic appeared.

If you want a box, there is one less, and if you don't want a box, there is more," the class laughed and ......I was completely speechless......Embarrassment

This morning, the Lanzhou City Public Security Bureau received a report from the public** that there were two bombs under the Zhongshan Bridge. The police of the General Administration rushed to the scene together with the bomb disposal experts and found a red cloth bag under the bridge. The expert carefully unwrapped the cloth bag, which contained several layers of newspaper wrappers.

The police dismantled it layer by layer, and finally found that it was indeed two big bombs: 4 2s and a pair of kings....Laugh when you're happy!

1.When I went to deposit money at noon, a beautiful woman asked me in the back when I was in line, "Is it to save money?" "Yes! "I'm just about to withdraw money, and if you want to save it anyway, it's better to give me the money, so you don't have to queue up." "I thought it made sense, so I gave her the money.

2.In the afternoon, I got on the bus, took out the bus card and threw it into the coin hole.

4.My neighbor forgot to bring the key, went over my balcony, found the key in the house, turned it back, and opened the door again. What's even more amazing is that I was on the balcony all the time, and I didn't feel anything wrong. Alas, both of our heads must have been squeezed through the same crack in the door.

Is this anything else? The waiter ran over, took the bottle and examined it carefully, and said sincerely, "No."

6.Fancy a pair of gloves, the boss wants 35 yuan, I said 30 yuan I want it, the boss does not have to 35, said a few back and forth refusing to give in, I think about it, I gave Zhang 50 yuan, he found me 35 very quickly.

7.A question requires the following four sentences to be connected by related words:

1, Zhang Haidi's sister is paralyzed;

2. Sister Zhang Haidi studied tenaciously;

3. Sister Zhang Haidi has learned many foreign languages;

4. Sister Zhang Haidi learned acupuncture.

The correct answer should be:"Although Zhang Haidi's sister was paralyzed, she studied tenaciously and not only learned many foreign languages, but also learned acupuncture.

As a result, one child wrote: Although Zhang Haidi's sister tenaciously learned acupuncture and many foreign languages, she was still paralyzed.

I found a more fierce child who wrote: Sister Zhang Haidi not only learned a foreign language, but also learned acupuncture, she studied so tenaciously that she was finally paralyzed!

8.When I was in high school, I got up very early, and my mother got my schoolbag to eat with the school early, usually steamed buns, and my mother made porridge when I didn't go to class on Sundays, and I didn't know that the tendon was pumped, so I picked up the porridge and threw it in the schoolbag.

9.Once at school breakfast, a classmate in front of the card, the machine did not respond, and then swiped or not, very depressed said, the machine is broken, I said let me try, swiped the card, the machine really did not respond! He changed it again, and it was still the same, very angry!

I just wanted to put the card in my bag, but I found that I was holding a bank card in my hand, and I laughed wildly! He pointed at me and laughed even harder, it turned out that I had my ID card!

10.I like to eat all the melon seeds. The ghost made the god guess, and after swallowing them all, he poured the melon seeds on the plate into the trash can, and looked at the other plate of melon seed shells in a daze.

11.The first time I used the bus IC card, I took the initiative to show the card to the driver after getting on the bus, and went straight to the seat. No, the driver said

Read the card", I looked at the IC card, read carefully: "Hefei City Bus IC Card" The driver said: "Go over there to read", I walked to the place where the driver pointed out, and read with all my might:

Hefei City Bus IC Card ......”