Why are people who are good at taking more popular than people who are good at giving?

Because people who are good at giving have no sense of existence.

I am a person who likes to give silently, but I am also a person who has no sense of existence. When my best friends hang out together, they sometimes ignore me. And I only have a few friends, and yes, I'm not welcome.

I've always been worried about bothering people, so I rarely ask for help, but I always try my best to help others. Why am I not popular? And another friend who often bothers others and asks for from others in my eyes, why do you have so many friends around?

After thinking about it, I found that people who are good at giving often ignore themselves, and it is we who actively reduce our sense of existence. To put it simply, we always neglect ourselves, don't want to trouble others, and have things to solve by ourselves. As for other people's requests, they don't know how to refuse, and they want to win a sense of existence and gain friendship by helping others.

Unfortunately, the result is simply overlooked. To others, you are dispensable. They will thank you for your help, but then they will leave you behind.

Because you don't have a sense of existence, you don't have an ego, you're always pandering to others.

We have all heard that crying children have milk to eat, and it is indeed not rough talk. Sometimes, bothering others, asking for help, and asking for help from others is precisely the secret of friendship between friends. People who are good at taking, they often seek help from others.

But they will master a degree, and the things that ask others to help are all things that others can do, and they are not difficult to force others. So in the face of these small favors, others are naturally willing to help. In this way, they both solve the problem and others get satisfaction from the help.

Wouldn't it be the best of both worlds?

We can be good at giving, but why not be ashamed to ask for it? In fact, the correspondence between friends is on both sides. It's not that you blindly give, nor do you blindly take.

<> saw this problem and remembered the post-it note girl starring Chen Qiaoen, that is, a young woman in the workplace who is good at giving, but in the concessions and compromises again and again, her personal boundaries are getting narrower and narrower, and others are becoming more and more unscrupulous towards her, not to mention respecting and liking. Who likes a person who has no self-consciousness and is called to come and go?

Speaking of soliciting, it may be necessary to define it here, and the solicitation of the topic should not be an endless solicitation, but an occasional trouble with the people around you who are good at doing it in small things, and only such a request will make people like. Why?

1.Such a person knows how to read words and feelings, and knows the strengths of those around him.

So every time I encounter a problem that others are good at but I am not very good at, I will ask for help. In this way, the efficiency of solving things is improved, and the time saved by yourself can be used to complete other things, and at the same time, the "troubled" person has a sense of existence. Of course, if you sincerely thank you after receiving help, the other party will be willing to help you.

2.Such people are good at allocating time and tasks.

It is also mentioned in the first point that people who are good at asking for help tend to be good at using their time, and they do not spend too much time on things that they are not good at. A person can't be an all-rounder, so such a person will be very clever to divide the time into blocks, divide the tasks, he only needs to do his part, and then make overall arrangements for other things, his mouth is sweeter, and when he troubles others, he is actually building a relationship.

3.People feel good when they are needed.

When you are troubled by a colleague who is not too familiar, with a look of sincerity and helplessness, I think you must be happy in your heart. The reason is simple: you are needed! And what the other party wants happens to be what you can give, so it's hard for you to dislike such a person.

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Generally speaking, people who are good at asking are better at expressing their thoughts in words, so their words are more likable, and naturally people will like him more. If you have a type of person in the company who doesn't put all the energy into his work, then he will ask the "post-it note girl" in the company to help him complete the task. They are just able to speak and praise others for doing well, and those who are good at giving will get used to helping them, and those who do well are praised by those who ask for it.

Most of the people who are good at giving are obscure and have few words, they only care about whether they can do a good job, put all their energy into work or study, and then help others, in front of others is not able to stand out, and speak very stiff and can not please others, so they can only give a small number of people to see, and those who are good at asking will be very good at mingling with the people around them, and many people will have a good relationship, when they find someone to do things, it will be easy.

I think that people who are good at asking are precisely because others want to help themselves, so they can only talk to others when their mouths are as sweet as honey, and the people who listen will be embarrassed to refuse, leaving a good impression on others, which will make their circle of friends bigger and bigger, and their popularity will naturally get better and better. And people who are good at giving just want to be able to rely on themselves in everything, and they won't talk to others too much, so the circle of friends will be fixed to that big, and there won't be too many people to pay attention to them.

In fact, there is no good or bad between these two kinds of people, if you can do both ask and give, it is the best, so that you can not only exercise your ability to do things, but also improve your ability to interact with others.

In fact, asking and giving are complementary to each other, no one can blindly ask and not give, and no one blindly gives, and does not ask, why is it more popular to ask than to give? Because, you know how to take, you know how to give, people who are good at asking must be good at giving, and people who are good at giving are just blindly giving themselves, and they don't understand the meaning of taking. He will only make people admire her from the bottom of his heart, but he will not be particularly popular.

By unpopular, we mean that not too many people are willing to take the initiative to associate with them.

What I just said will be paid. Because no one can blindly ask for others, if that person blindly asks, he will not associate with him at all, and the person who is good at taking, he will have some of his own ingenious methods, to get what he needs, and in the case that you are happy to give her, and he often gets that kind of thing, he will definitely repay you, so that after going back and forth, the bond between the two people will be deepened, and the person who is good at taking will be more able to be a person, in this case, he will connect you, Find ways to deepen it, so that you will belong to both mutually beneficial parties in your future work or interactions, so that your relationship will be stronger, and over time, it will add up. Those who are good at asking will of course be more popular.

And the person who is good at giving may not know how to take, it is just blindly giving, and the person who receives his pay is often unable to give him the corresponding return, because he does not know how to ask for what he deserves, he is just a one-way communication, so it will not make people have two-way communication, he may not be as popular as the person who is good at taking.

Do you still remember the fairy tale of "Snow White", Snow White once broke into the house of the seven dwarfs, her pitiful appearance made the seven dwarfs full of sympathy, coupled with Snow White's kindness and beauty, the seven dwarfs decided to take her in, the essence of this fairy tale is actually to reflect the people who take them, they actually know how to show weakness, and this kind of weakness often makes the person who pays feel strong. This weakness technique is an important skill in our daily interpersonal communication. I would like to share with you the use of this weakness technique:

1. Women who show weakness make men want to have a sense of protection

Many women often like to show that they don't need men, often so that men have no place to fight, and smart and intelligent women often know how to show weakness, such as when the light is broken, they will appropriately ask for help from men, which can effectively highlight their feminine characteristics, so that the men around them want to have a kind of initiative to protect them.

2. Showing weakness is also a manifestation of leadership

Do you still remember the story of Liu Bei's three visits to the thatched house, Liu Bei is the most aware of showing weakness, so Zhuge Liang will feel that he has his own usefulness, which is also an important reason why he was able to leave Wolong Mountain for Liu Bei to fight the world later.

3. People who show weakness know how to let others behave

People who show weakness are very good at creating opportunities for others to perform, and the reason why everyone likes people who show weakness is precisely because of this kind of opportunity, they want to prove that they are valuable, and they also want to prove that they are needed, and once this sense of need and value is stimulated, they will be more grateful to the person who asks for it.

Tang Ruo, a national second-level psychological counselor, the pioneer of the Women's Mental Growth Training Camp, and a DISC international certified lecturer and consultant.

Children who can cry have milk to eat, and they always blindly pay silently, and it is easy to be taken for granted by the other party, so they will be ignored and even despised by them.

On the contrary, they are good at taking, they will be brave enough to express their needs, honestly say what they really think in their hearts, and will not wronged themselves in order to take care of others. Such a person has an independent personality, has opinions and ideas, and will give people a feeling of being relatively strong and can be relied on, so they are more popular with everyone.

People who are good at giving are passive in interpersonal communication, and will always be seen by others as particularly good to bully, and after paying for a long time, others will take it for granted that they should be good to others, and over time, they will naturally not care what attitude you have. On the contrary, people who are good at asking are active in interpersonal relationships, and they will always receive attention from others no matter what they do, and they are also more powerful, which is that the better the temper, the easier it is to be bullied. Since I went to college, the day I entered the dormitory, I have always been based on other people's thoughts, and I took the initiative to help them do what I wanted to do, and it was even more common to go out to bring food every day, but after such a long time, no matter what I do, I will not care about my opinion, and I will decide directly, without any sense of existence.

Because people who are good at giving will be taken for granted by others, and they will become cheaper and cheaper in others, and people who are good at taking will be better to them because they have paid for them, hoping that they will remember their kindness and hope that they will establish a good image in the hearts of others.

The old saying makes it clear: a crying child has milk.

Because people who are good at giving often don't have to worry about others, and only those who worry a lot can be remembered, and only when they remember can they be unpopular.

I take myself as an example, I have been well-behaved and sensible since I was a child, I never let my parents worry about it, I never need them to shout to do my own things, I can do it well without them shouting, I just have enough living expenses, I never spend it indiscriminately, I am reluctant to ask for clothes and money, I am worried that they are too hard, and I think about whether it will make them embarrassed.

My brother, who has been skinny since he was a child, skips school, fights on the Internet, smokes and drinks does not do anything, and he spends money indiscriminately, and his clothes are expensive.

Then my parents have only seen my brother, thinking about my brother everything, I take one living expenses, my brother is two or even three shares, in their words, I don't have to worry about them, I don't spend money indiscriminately, so I give a little less, give me a little more, so that his money is enough to spend.

Because everyone has their own self-esteem, people who are good at giving. Will think about yourself and only other people. When others get used to your giving, they will be surprised by your giving, and those who are good at asking will arouse others' desire to protect and let others know that they are valuable to others, so those who are good at taking will be more popular.

People who are good at asking will make the other party feel needed, and people are just a kind of creatures that are needed, people who are good at giving because they give too much, but people will feel that they deserve it, and when you don't give, they will think why don't you give? So sometimes it makes more sense to ask for something appropriate.

As the saying goes, crying children have milk to eat, since childhood, those who are particularly naughty will find their elders to be coquettish to ask for this and that, but they are very popular with the elders, on the contrary, those who are particularly honest and obedient are easy to be ignored, because you are always quiet, quiet people forget you, thinking that you don't need it at all, and in the long run, others will think that you really don't need it.