In the face of the fortunate and unfortunate random assignment of fate, how can we prepare to take o

Luck doesn't always fall on one person, and the same truth doesn't always fall on one person. Regardless of luck or not, as long as you have a normal heart, a contented heart, and calmly solve misfortunes, don't get carried away when luck comes.

In an easy-to-understand sentence, it is that the soldiers will block the water and cover the earth, and everything will be safe when encountered, not reluctantly, not forced. As long as you can do your best every day is the greatest victory, no matter what happens, take it as a training for yourself, in fact, life is a process of grinding, without this process, people can not mature. When you are proud, you should be bearish, and when you are frustrated, you should look away.

The misfortune in the eyes of others may come to you, which will make this misfortune become your luck, because of your strong perseverance and good attitude, although you have endured a lot of pain, but you have gained more experience, you have become more mature and stable, more sunny. If you look down on everything, you will be happier, and if you look at it, you will be happier.

Whose fault is it for our misfortune?

Beginning with Freud, the founder of psychoanalysis, many psychologists believed that people are the product of the past, especially childhood experiences. These experiences become the subconscious mind and determine our lives. In this book, however, Adler says:

It's not the past that matters, it's how you look at the past. And our perception of the past can be changed. Many of our psychological symptoms are not the product of past experiences, but serve a "purpose" in the present.

For example, blushing when talking to someone of the opposite sex is typical of social anxiety. But Adler said that the symptom doesn't make much sense, and the function of the symptom — to finally be able to die at home — is very meaningful.

I had a friend who was very scared to go outside his room after being closed all the year round. As soon as you take a step out of the room, your heart will palpitate and your hands and feet will tremble. This is probably a kind of neurosis, and even if you want to change, you can't change it.

If you look into the past reasons, you will say that it may be because of a discordant relationship with your parents, or because you have been bullied at school or in the workplace, or you may be too pampered. Adler, however, said that the friend was not unable to go out because he was uneasy, but that it was precisely "because he did not want to go outside that he created the uneasiness." "If you stay in your room all the time, your parents will be very worried, and you can get your parents' attention together, and you can get your parents to take care of them carefully.

On the other hand, even if you take a step out of the house, you may become a "majority" that no one pays attention to, and you will become a very ordinary member of the vast sea of people, or even a mediocre person who is inferior to others, and no one will pay attention to yourself. These are common mentalities for people who live behind closed doors.

People can change at any time and in any environment. The reason why we "can't change" is because we have made a determination not to change. Even if we have a lot of grievances, it makes us feel more relaxed and relieved to stay the same, so it takes a lot of courage to change our lifestyle.

Adlerian psychology is also called the psychology of courage. The reason why we are unfortunate is not because of the past or circumstances, let alone because of lack of ability, but because of a lack of "courage", so to speak, a lack of "courage to achieve happiness".

Everyone has a different starting point from birth, which is the most typical manifestation of the random allocation of luck and misfortune by fate, but just like the starting point cannot determine everything, the effort in the process is the key to determining whether you can go to a farther end.

We can choose anything, we can give up anything, but in this world, the only thing we can't choose not to give up is our parents. No matter what resources they can bring to me when we are born, they are already trying to give us the best they can, because the love that parents all over the world have for their children is the same, equally selfless and great.

In the face of the luck and misfortune given by fate, complaining is not the only choice, the key is our attitude towards them, when we are lucky, we sigh that this is just luck, we need to continue to work hard, when we are unfortunate we sigh that the tribulation makes us grow, whether it is good or bad, all are experiences. Before everything comes, we should not have too many meaningless expectations for the future, as long as we focus on the present, work hard, and struggle, then the result will naturally not disappoint you.