Collect short jokes to make your girlfriend happy 5

Topic: Haven't seen it.

Mother: "Look at your hands, how dirty! When have you ever seen my hands as dirty as yours? Daughter: "No, Mom." I've never seen you as old as I am. ”

Topic: Do cows smoke?

Two farm children were chatting, and one suddenly asked, "Do your cattle smoke?" Are you crazy? How can a cow smoke? Oh, then, maybe your cowshed is on fire. ”

Topic: Doing things.

The mother said, "What can be accomplished today, do not leave it for tomorrow." The son said, "Okay, give me the cake just now, I'll eat it all today." ”

Topic: Saving money.

Dad, you can save money! What money to save? Child. "You don't have to spend any more money to buy me textbooks this year, I've already repeated a grade." ”

Topic: One less time.

The father saw his son in front of the game hall and said angrily: "You don't know anything about studying, you can only play games, and I have seen you here nine times out of ten!" The son said, "I'm one less than you!" ”

Topic: Revelation.

Mom, are people really changed from monkeys? Yes. Oh, no wonder there are fewer and fewer monkeys. ”

Topic: Mistakes.

The father reproached his son: "The neighbor Zhang family is very unhappy because you punched his son in the eye." You say it was an accident, is it true? Of course it's true," said the son, "I would have wanted to hit him in the nose." ”

A husband and wife quarrel during the day, and at night the man thinks about it and says to the woman, "Come, let's do the laundry", the woman says "the power is out, the washing machine can't be used", and in the evening two or three days later, the woman says to the man, "The electricity is coming, let's wash the clothes", and the man says, "I have washed it by hand".

There was a match head burn that went to the hospital, and he was rescued, and since then there has been the first cotton swab in the world. . .

Milked all my.

A woman took two cartons of milk and walked up a crowded bus, and when the next stop arrived, people began to squeeze out of the bus, and the carriage became more crowded, and suddenly, the woman found that the two cartons of milk had been squeezed and shouted, "Don't squeeze it!" Milked all my. ”

Actually, I am an angel, but when I came to earth, my face touched the ground first.

The little jokes that make my girlfriend happy are as follows:

1. Joke one.

When the old man came to the house, we blew the cow for a long time, and he asked: Is there any smoke? I shook my head.

He asked again, "Is there any wine?" I shook my head again.

He slapped the table: "You won't buy it without you!" I said:

If it weren't for your daughter's money, you would think I would be here to talk to you for a long time! Him: If my money wasn't all in charge of your mother, I would have come here to give you nonsense?

2. Joke two.

The wife asked her husband to help her wash the dishes, but the husband was embarrassed to refuse, so he called her ten-year-old son to him and said to him with a pleasant face: "Son, let you practice washing dishes now, and you can help your wife in the future." The son said with a grumbling face

No, I can ask my son to wash later. ”

3. Joke three.

My boyfriend is older and doesn't like to dress up! The first time I went to my house for dinner, my dad looked at it and took the initiative to buy vegetables and cook, and my mom and I both thought it was a fantasy! There are a lot of dishes during the meal, and the taste is good, but the dish in front of my boyfriend is so strange, it is a sixtieth nail.

Steamed catfish. I wondered: this dish is not worthy! Dad snorted: Do you know if you are worthy?

4. Joke four.

Once it rained heavily, I took a taxi and returned home, got out of the car and walked two steps to find that my phone was gone. I hurriedly turned around and found that the car was leaving, so I shouted a few words, "Master, stop!" "I suddenly found that the mobile phone was in my hand, and when I looked up and saw that the car had stopped, the master poked his head out and asked me what was wrong, so I shouted in a hurry

It's raining heavily, drive slower! After saying that, he turned his head and left, and he still can't imagine what his expression was at that time.

5. Joke five.

The husband held an orchid bowl and said to his wife very solemnly: "You won't be able to drop the bowl again in the future, this bowl was left by your mother, there are only two left at the moment, and the rest will be let you fall." The wife gave her husband a blank look and said:

Then you must not be angry with me in the future, I am also left by my mother.

Butterflies riseSexualityDancing in the flat-topped mountainswithIn the dream, I am the sameproductsSnowflakes close the doorPavilionThe same windows. MeMotherHold a jar of daughters in your armsNetRed brews a cleanWhatNet dance, flashBothThe stage stopped with a silver glowYesStop the hustle and bustle. The snow lady who is drunk and lying on the flat-topped mountain.

The drunken snow lady who lies on the flat-topped mountain dominates the ethereal spirit of time.

Hello, dear, I'm glad that Xiangshen answered for you, and you have compiled the following small jokes to coax your girlfriend for the trembling banquet chain, 1One day, the ox gave the donkey a difficult question, asking which of the two insects under the word "stupid" was male and which was female. The donkey racked his brains, but still couldn't answer.

Niu scolded: What a stupid donkey, male left and female right! 2.

Seven years after graduation, he finally took on a big project to build a 30-meter chimney, the construction period was two months, and the cost was 300,000 yuan, but it was necessary to advance. It was finally done at the end of last year. Today, people went to the acceptance, and they were scolded to death, and they didn't have the money to get it.!

The drawings are reversed, and they are going to dig a well! 3.A drunk man accidentally fell from the third floor, attracting passers-by to watch, and a policeman came over

What happened? Drunk: I don't know, I've just arrived.

4.The doctor asks the patient how the fracture occurred. The patient said that I felt that there was sand in my shoes, so I held on to the telephone pole and shook my shoes.

One of them passed by and thought I had been electrocuted, so he picked up a stick and gave me two sticks!

The jokes are as follows:

1. Once upon a time, there were two people, one called pretending, the other called elimination, one day disappeared, pretending to see a group of people fighting, so he went over to pull and said: I am looking for elimination! The gang was stunned for a moment and said, "Are you pretending?" Yes, I am.

2. The mother once again told her son to get up: "Jacques, good boy, it's time to get up, you've heard the rooster crow several times" "What does the rooster crow have to do with me, I'm not a hen." ”

3. The chimpanzee accidentally stepped on the gibbon's stool, and the gibbon gently and carefully helped it scrub it clean and they fell in love. People ask how they came together? The chimpanzee said with emotion: Ape droppings! It's all ape dung!

4. The husband held an orchid bowl and said to his wife very solemnly: "Don't drop the bowl in the future, this bowl was left by your mother, there are only two left at the moment, and the others are all let you fall." The wife gave her husband a blank look and said:

Then you are not allowed to be angry with me in the future, I am also left by my mother, and I am the only one. ”

5. I have four children, all of whom are very naughty, one day when I come home from work, the children are noisy at the door of the house, and my wife is happy to see me come back and say: "You are finally back, wonderful" I am very happy to think that the children are afraid of me, who knows that my wife said later: "You are the only one in the family who is the most obedient, good!"

Go buy me a bag of salt."

6. The squad leader asked: Who is the biggest officer in our platoon? The recruit answered: It's the platoon commander. The squad leader asked again: Who is below the division commander? The recruit replied: It was a horse ridden by the division commander.