Have you ever watched a joke that laughed once?

One day, a township chief with a strong hometown accent came to the village to give a report: rabbits, shrimps, pigtail (pronounced yi) ba! Don't pickle melon, pickles are too expensive!! 」

Translation: Comrades, villagers, pay attention! Don't speak, let's have a meeting! After the county magistrate finished speaking, the host said: Pickles, please sausage pickles! Translation: Now the mayor of the township is invited to speak! ）

The township chief said: "Rabbits, today's rice dog has eaten, everyone is a king!" Translation: Comrades, there is enough food to eat today, let's make a big bowl! Don't want pickles, I'll pick up shit for you to lick....

Translation: Don't talk, I'll tell you a story Concentrate on licking, shit is very good to lick, and when you finish licking, pick it up and give it to others to lick.

Translation: Listen attentively, if the story is good, tell it to others after listening).

How about this:

There was a man who was very industrious, and helped people kill pigs and sell pork during the day; I went to the hospital at night to work as a temporary nurse.

One day, he pushed an old lady into the ward, and when the old lady opened her eyes, she immediately shouted:

Oh, my God! You pig-killer! You're going to push me to the **!?

At school, once my dad called ** and asked me seriously if I had a girlfriend.

I thought to myself that my father was strict and conservative, and if I admitted that I had a girlfriend, I would definitely have to be criticized again, ......Dad said, "Is there any?" ”

I said, "No."

Dad chased after him: "This can be had!" ”

I calmly said, "This is really nothing!" ”

As a result, my father said something that made me cry: "Then I have exceeded the standard of your monthly living expenses!" ”

An experience from college. I'm wearing jeans, the kind with tight pockets. Playing cool with his hands in his pockets, passing by the basketball court, patronizing the game, accidentally tripped over the steps, because the trouser pockets were tight, and his hands couldn't be pulled out, just like that, he put his hands in his trouser pockets and fell down ...... hard

It was snowing, and I went out to see an uncle fall.

I went over and asked, "Uncle, my monthly salary is less than 2,000 yuan, can I help you up?" ”

Uncle: "Young man, you go, I'll wait a while."

I was so moved that I quickly said, "Uncle, there's a Ferrari over there."

The uncle also said excitedly: "You young man. It's quite real, don't leave me to be a witness, and buy you a car to go to work and drive ...... when you're done”

Although the weather is cold, the uncle's words are warm and full of positive energy.

Positive energy.