Ask for a joke about the Big Bear . Well, Xiao Ming is also fine.

On the first day of school, the teacher asked Xiao Ming: "Xiao Ming, 1+1=?."Xiao Ming said

I don't know. The teacher said, "Then go home and ask your family."

Xiao Ming went to ask his mother, his mother was arguing with others, Xiao Ming asked: "Mom 1+1=?" Mom said

Bastard! "Xiao Ming knows that 1+1 = bastard; Xiao Ming went to ask his father again, his father was drinking beer, and Xiao Ming asked, "Dad 1+1=?"

Dad said, "Cool! "Xiao Ming knows again that 1+1 = cool; Xiao Ming went to ask his grandfather again, his grandfather was watching TV, Xiao Ming asked:

Grandpa 1+1=? Grandpa said, "Gangster boss!

Xiao Ming knew that 1+1 = gang boss; Xiao Ming went to ask his sister again, and her sister was singing the national anthem: People who don't want to be slaves! Xiao Ming knew that 1+1 = people who rose up and did not want to be slaves; Xiao Ming went to ask his sister again, and her sister was singing a nursery rhyme:

The little rabbit obediently opens the door! Xiao Ming knew that 1+1 = the little rabbit obediently opened the door. The next day, the teacher asked:

Xiao Ming 1+1=? Xiao Ming said, "Bastard."

"Smack" The teacher slapped Xiao Ming, and Xiao Ming said, "Cool." The teacher said inexplicably

Who taught you? Xiao Ming said: "Gangster boss."

The teacher was startled and asked, "Xiao Ming, what are you doing?" Xiao Ming sang:

People who rise up and do not want to be slaves. The teacher shut Xiao Ming out of the door, and Xiao Ming knocked on the door and sang: The little rabbit obediently opened the door.

The teacher fainted.

1.Xiao Ming and Xiao Hong are at the same table, one day, Xiao Ming borrowed a pen from Xiao Hong, and Xiao Hong said "no borrowing".

Lend me you will die! ”

Then, Little Red said, "Oh, then lend it to you."

When Xiao Ming returned the pen to Xiao Hong, Xiao Hong was really dead.

2.A polar bear was lonely on the ice in a daze, and when it was bored, it began to pluck its own hair and play, one ......Two ......Three ......In the end, there was not a single one left, and then he died of cold.

Black and white. The tiger caught a cold and wanted to eat the panda, but the panda said aggrievedly, "You have a cold, what does it matter to me".

Tiger "has never heard the advertisement say, 'Do you eat black and white when you have a cold?'"

One day, Xiao Ming said to Xiaomei: "Little sister, you are beautiful!" ”

On the 2nd day, the little sister exploded.。。。

Hahaha, funny Mo?

Xiao Ming's mother has three sons, the eldest son is Da Mao, the second son is called Ermao, and the third son is called what.

It's not enough to go to a bookstore and buy a joke book about them.

"Xiao Ming, what about your 'jokes'? I'm throwing it! You're sick in the head, and the landlord wants to make all of your jokes.

Yes? yes, then I'll hurry up and make a copy. Be quick.,Give someone someone a pirated copy and deceive the landlord and it's miserable.。。

No, because my jokes have an anti-counterfeiting label o(o....What anti-counterfeiting labels? What's it like?

As long as you turn to the last page, there is a jade photo of me.,It's private.,Hoho vomit...

Safety and health first, u u b is good, but it is not good for your health to do this for a long time.

One day, Xiao Ming was playing at the door of his house, and suddenly an uncle came, and the uncle said, "Do you want to know my name, little friend?" Xiao Ming said

I think so. The uncle said, "My name is 'Nobody'" Xiao Ming remembered, and when he saw that the uncle had stolen all the clothes in the house, Xiao Ming shouted anxiously:

Mommy, Mommy, someone stole all our clothes! The mother said, "Who?"

No one," Xiao Ming said. Mom said, "Xiao Ming, don't joke!"

Otherwise, mom will beat you! Xiao Ming said, "Mom, Mom, someone really took our clothes away."

The mother said, "Who?" "No one!

Mom was really angry and walked out to see that not a single piece of clothing was gone. Mom was very angry and said, "Xiao Ming, who took the clothes!"

Xiao Ming: "No one. "Mom foamed at the mouth and fainted......

Once, Dad took Xiao Ming out to play.

When they came to the bridge, Dad said, "This is a spring stream." ”

As they continued walking, they saw a dog gnawing on a bone. Dad said, "It's called a dog gnawing bones." ”

They saw a big cow bullying a small calf. Dad said, "This is called a big cow bullying a little calf." ”

They were hungry and came to a restaurant.

Dad had just drunk a glass of wine, and Xiao Ming shouted, "Dad is drinking spring water from the stream." ”

Dad was angry and slapped Xiao Ming. Xiao Ming cried and said, "The big cow bullies the little cow." ”

Why is there no school holiday Xiao Ming is not sick, but he does not go to school?

Because Xiao Ming has already graduated.

It's a hilarious classic joke.

I can laugh all night after watching it.

1.Aunt Cleaning said to introduce me to a girlfriend, a sophomore teacher. I was excited, I didn't expect to be able to find a beautiful college teacher after being single for more than 30 years. Later, I met and found out that she was the head teacher of the sophomore class of Little Sun Kindergarten.

2.Xiao Ming: Have you seen Thai embarrassment? B: Looked. Xiao Ming: I heard that a sequel is going to be made in the Netherlands?! B: He Yu??! Xiao Ming: ......

3.Aunt Zhang: Sister Wang, what did your son gain after graduation?

Aunt Wang: What a gain, just a graduation certificate. Sister Zhang, where is your daughter?

No, I just graduated. Aunt Zhang: My daughter is much better than your son, so bring me a grandson to ......

4.When I saw a green shrimp seller in the market, I saw that it was all dead shrimp and it was expensive, and I was about to leave! The shrimp seller stopped me and explained:

Girl, my shrimp were just caught by the sea, and they were still alive on the plane, why did they all die if they didn't adapt to the water and soil! In the end, the eldest sister herself laughed. Hey, you're lying to me so seriously, why don't you believe it yourself.

5.A buddy went to an Internet café to surf the Internet, two dollars for five hours, he went on for more than an hour, and got off the machine to settle the accounts for a total of four dollars and five. The cashier asked him if he couldn't find a lollipop if he didn't have five cents?

He said it would only cost five cents. The cashier said: It's okay for you to find a piece of it.

When he got a piece, he handed the money to the cashier and said, "Bring me two lollipops."

6.I spent 188 to buy an electric toothbrush, and I have been using it manually for more than a month now, and I suddenly remembered yesterday that I bought an electric one.

7.There was nothing to do on the plane, and I wanted to tease the flight attendant, but I was scolded by the flight attendant. When the meal was served, I said, do you have tissues?

mm took a tissue from his pocket and gave it to me; When she asked again, do you have a toothpick, she took it out of her other pocket; Brother was very depressed, and asked again if you have disposable chopsticks, mm handed the chopsticks to me, and at the same time said something that made me petrify: Am I like Doraemon?

8.I went to the mall on May Day and picked up my wallet in the float in front of the leather goods store. The family of three next to him is picking a belt there, and the child is only eleven or twelve years old, right?

He said to his dad, "Dad, can you also consider my feelings?" Can you also change a better belt to beat me?!

I did laugh out loud indeed!

9.A young man is always careless in doing things, so he is always unemployed. This time, he got another job, working for an antique shop.

On his first day on the job, he accidentally broke one of the more expensive glass bottles in the store. The boss was angry: "I will deduct the price of this bottle from your monthly salary."

When the young man heard this, he breathed a sigh of relief and said, "Thank God, I finally found a relatively long job. ”

10.For a week in a row, a friend in my sports circle occupied the cover every day, every more than 40,000 steps, and today I called this buddy **, he said that he changed careers to pull foreign cars.

Xiao Ming's classic joke with the teacher 2

I've been looking for a long time*kkeeu*;; Finally found it.

One day, Xiao Ming got a new haircut, he walked into the classroom, and the classmates in the class said that he cut a kite head, and he ran out crying, and he ran and ran, and he flew.

Xiao Ming ran home crying, his mother asked him what was wrong, he said: "Mom, my classmates in the class call me a stupid child, do you think I am a stupid child?" Mom smiled and said, "Silly boy, how can you be a silly child?" ”

One day, Xiao Ming came home crying, and his mother asked, "What's wrong, Xiao Ming?" "Mom, my classmates said my head was big.

Xiao Ming said dejectedly. "How so? In my opinion, it is just right!

Oh, by the way, you go to the market and buy 20 pounds of potatoes. "Okay mom, but I don't have a strap at home. Mom said

Then use your hat, I think, you can't buy 30 pounds. ”

Xiao Ming walked into a store and asked, "Is there a hundred loaves of bread?" "Nope.

The next day, Xiao Ming asked again: "Is there a hundred loaves of bread?" "Nope.

On the third day, Xiao Ming asked again, "Is there a hundred loaves of bread?" "Yes, yes.

The clerk said with a smile on his face. "Okay, please give me 2 loaves of bread. ”

1, the teacher asked Xiao Ming what 1+1 is equal to, Xiao Ming said he didn't know, and the teacher asked him to go home and ask his parents. Xiao Ming came home and asked his mother, who was playing mahjong. Xiao Ming asked his mother what 1+1 was, but his mother didn't listen to Xiao Ming and said:

Two! Xiao Ming asked his father, and his father was drinking beer: cool!

2, the teacher asked Xiao Ming what 1+1 is equal to, Xiao Ming said he didn't know, and the teacher asked him to go home and ask his parents. Xiao Ming came home and asked his mother, his mother was doing laundry, but his mother didn't listen to Xiao Ming, and said: Rub! Xiao Ming asked his father, :* dad was watching "*** Selection"**!

Xiao Ming asked his brother, his brother is playing cs:go go go! The next day, the teacher asked Xiao Ming what 1+1 is?

Xiao Ming: Rub! Teacher:

Who taught you? Xiao Ming: ***, Teacher:

Give me ten laps to the playground! Xiao Ming: go go go!

3, the teacher asked Xiao Ming what 1+1 was equal to, Xiao Ming said he didn't know, and the teacher asked him to go home and ask his parents. When Xiao Ming got home, his mother was watching a TV series and asked his mother what 1+1 is? Mom didn't listen to Xiao Ming, and said: Let's go, let's go! Leave me alone!

Xiao Ming asked his grandfather, and his grandfather was nervous: robbery! Xiao Ming asked his brother, who was watching TV:

Gangster boss! The next day, the teacher asked Xiao Ming what 1+1 is? Xiao Ming:

Let's go, let's go! Leave me alone! Teacher:

What are you doing, you! Xiao Ming: Robbery!

Teacher: Who taught you? Xiao Ming:

Gangster boss! 4. One day in class, the teacher asked Xiao Ming: "Xiao Ming, 1+1 several" Xiao Ming said: "I don't know."

The teacher asked Xiao Ming to go home and ask his family, Xiao Ming came home and saw his mother stir-frying, so he asked: "Mom, 1+1 several" Mom said: "Go away, go away, don't bother me."

Xiao Ming went to ask his father, who was watching the ball game and said, "Good ball, good ball." Xiao Ming went to ask his sister, who was watching the news and said, "It's so pitiful! The headmaster is dead. Xiao Ming went to ask his sister again, and her sister just finished her homework and said, "Okay." ”

The next day, the teacher asked Xiao Ming how many 1+1 times it was, and Xiao Ming said: "Go away, go away, don't bother me" The teacher kicked Xiao Ming out, and asked Xiao Ming how many times 1+1 was, and Xiao Ming said: "Good ball, good ball."

Teacher, Xiao Ming, went to the principal's office and asked Xiao Ming how many 1+1 they were, and Xiao Ming said, "It's so pitiful!" The headmaster is dead.

The principal fired Xiao Ming, and Xiao Ming said, "Okay."

5, the teacher asked Xiao Ming: "Xiao Ming, 1+1 = how much?" Xiao Ming said

I don't know. The teacher said, "Go back and ask the parents, and come back tomorrow to answer me."

When he got home, Xiao Ming asked his father how many 1+1 = many, and his father was looking at ** and said, "2 million." ”

Then he asked his younger brother, who was watching Superman, and said: "Ultraman" and then asked his mother, who was playing mahjong and said "two cakes", and then went to ask his sister, who was playing **, and said "I'm waiting for you downstairs" The next day came to school, and the teacher asked Xiao Ming 1+1=How many. Xiao Ming said "2 million", and the teacher said "who told you".

Xiao Ming said that the teacher of "Ultraman" slapped Xiao Ming in the face twice, Xiao Ming said "two cakes", the teacher said, "You go out for me", and Xiao Ming said, "I'll wait for you downstairs".

One day, the teacher asked how much 1+1 equals, and I wanted to tell you that I didn't know, and the teacher said to go home and ask my parents.

The teacher asked Xiao Ming, "1+1=?" Xiao Ming said

I don't know. The teacher told Xiao Ming to go home and ask his parents. Xiao Ming went home and asked his mother, who was playing mahjong, and she shouted

Seven of a kind! Xiao Ming went to ask his father again, and his father was eating KFC, and he said, "It's so fragrant!"

Xiao Ming went to ask his sister again, her sister was watching TV, she saw Clinton, and shouted: "American ** Clinton!" Xiao Ming went to ask his brother again.

My brother was reading a book, and he read: "My family lives in a beautiful toilet. The next day, the teacher asked Xiao Ming:

1+1=？Xiao Ming said: "Seven!

The teacher gave him a slap, and Xiao Ming said, "It's so fragrant!" The teacher was on fire and asked:

Who called you this? Xiao Ming said: "America's ** Clinton!

The teacher was about to collapse, and he asked again: "Do you live in **?" Xiao Ming said

My family lives in a beautiful toilet. "The teacher fainted. The teacher asked Xiao Ming 1+1=how many Xiao Ming said he wouldn't The teacher asked Xiao Ming to go home and ask his parents Xiao Ming asked his mother when he got home 1+1=How much?

Mom is cooking and scolding him: Get out Xiao Ming went to ask his father again Dad was watching the ball game and shouted: Cool Xiao Ming went to ask his sister Sister sang in the room Sing:

baby Xiao Ming went to ask his brother again Brother was playing outside** Said: I'm waiting for you outside The next day The teacher asked Xiao Ming if he knew 1+1=How many Xiao Ming said: Get out The teacher slapped him angrily Xiao Ming shouted:

Refreshing! The teacher scolded him Xiao Ming scolded back: Despicable The teacher told Xiao Ming to get out Xiao Ming said:

I'll be waiting for you outside.