Jokes about homophony, jokes about homophony

Two Yunnan people went to Beijing to play, and when they heard that Peking duck was very famous, they decided to eat it. As soon as he sat down, one of them said to the waiter"Go to those two roast ducks to shake.

Fling! "After waiting for a while, they saw the waiter carrying a roast duck and dangling it in front of them, and left. One of them couldn't wait, so he called the waiter and asked for it.

What not to serve them roast duck, said the waiter"Didn't you tell me to bring up a roast duck to shake?"

Note: ("Shake off"In Yunnan dialect refers to:"Eat")

A county magistrate with a strong accent came to the village to make a report: rabbits, shrimps, pig tails! Don't pickle melon, pickles are too expensive!

After the county magistrate finished speaking, the host said: Pickles, please sausage and pickles! The township chief said:

Rabbits, today's rice dog has eaten, everyone is a big king! Don't want pickles, I'll pick up a shit for you to lick

Translation: A county magistrate with a strong accent went to the village to make a report: Comrades, villagers, pay attention!

Don't speak, let's have a meeting! After the county magistrate finished speaking, the host said: Now please invite the township chief to speak!

A foreign girl married to China, at breakfast, she was instructed to say that she couldn't eat fritters: "You dip and eat." ”

She immediately stood up and was told again, "You dip and eat!" ”

She was confused and said aggrievedly: "Let me eat standing up, I've stood up, where else are I going to stand?" ”

See the chicken.

Once upon a time, there was a landlord who loved to eat chickens, and the tenant rented his field, but he had to give him a chicken first.

There was a tenant named Zhang San, who went to pay rent to the landlord at the end of the year and tenant the land for the second year. When he went, he put a chicken in a bag, and after paying the rent, he told the landlord about the second year's tenant land, and when the landlord saw that he was empty-handed, he looked to the sky and said, ""There are no three kinds of fields in this field.

Zhang San understood the meaning of this sentence and immediately took the chicken out of the bag.

When the landlord saw the chicken, he immediately changed his words and said:"Don't give Zhang San to whom"

Zhang San said:"Your words become so fast! "

The landlord replied"Fang Cai's sentence is'Nonsense'At this moment, this sentence is made by seeing the opportunity (chicken).'."

The ears are here. The newly appointed magistrate is a native of Shandong, and because he wants to hang up his son, he said to his master:"You can buy me two bamboo poles. "

The master put the Shandong accent"Bamboo poles"Listen to it"Pork liver", hurriedly agreed, hurriedly ran to the butcher shop, and said to the shopkeeper:"The new county master wants to buy two pork livers, you are an understanding person, you should know it in your heart! "

The shopkeeper was a clever man, and immediately cut two pork livers and presented another pair of pig ears.

After leaving the butcher's shop, the master thought to himself:"The old man told me to buy pork liver, and of course this pig ear is mine......"So he wrapped the hunting ears and stuffed them in his pockets. Back to the county office, to the county magistrate:"Back to the master, the pork liver has been bought! "

Seeing that the master bought back the pork liver, the magistrate said angrily"Your ears are gone! "When the master heard this, his face turned pale with fright, and he hurriedly replied:"Ear ......Ears ............ hereIn my ......In my pocket! "

Yes"machine"Rideable.

There was a salesman who went on a business trip to Guangzhou, and after arriving in Beijing, because he wanted to go by plane, he sent a telegram to the manager because he was afraid that the manager would not agree to the reimbursement:"There is an opportunity to multiply, multiply it or not"The manager received the telegram and thought it was a deal"machine"It's arrived, and I'll call you back immediately:"Take it as you can. "

When the salesman came back from a business trip to reimburse the travel expenses, the manager did not agree to reimburse the airline ticket because of the stipulation that the plane would not be reimbursed due to the lack of rank. The salesman took out the manager and called back, and the manager was dumbfounded.

Place-names. On the night of New Year's Day, the younger brother took two overseas Chinese students to dinner at home, one was cheerful and the other was more restrained.

During the banquet, the cheerful classmate smiled and pointed to the restrained classmate and introduced us"He's from Burma, so he's shy. "Then he raised his glass to toast everyone, raised his head and drank it all, and then said"I'm from Yangon. "

The principal was furious. At the school council meeting at the end of the semester, the principal was furious at the inefficiency of personnel administration. He said:"ignorance in charge of the director's business; Unconscious personnel in charge of personnel management; As an officer, he is not an officer! "

Meetings in the villages. A township meeting, due to the homonym, the village chief said:"Rabbits, dried shrimps, don't have melons, pickles are too expensive. "(Comrades, villagers, do not speak, now the meeting is open.)

The moderator said:"Pickles please sausage pulp melon. "(Now I give the floor to the village chief.)

A meeting was held in a township, and because of the homonym, the village chief said: "Rabbits, shrimp, don't want melons, pickles are too expensive." (Comrades, villagers, do not speak, now the meeting is open.)

The host said: "Pickles please sausage and pulp melon." (Now I give the floor to the village chief.)

A foreign girl came to China, and at breakfast, she was instructed to say, "You dip and eat," she said, "You dip and eat!" She was confused and said aggrievedly

Let me eat standing up, I'm already up, where else are I going to stand? ”

A foreigner came to China and gave himself a Chinese name, Wei Mao. He was looking for a job in China. He came to a company and a man asked him:

Wei (for) what? "Why? Do I have to say why my surname is Wei?

In a lively bazaar, a fish seller shouted, "Fresh fish! At this time, a bubble gum seller immediately shouted:

Bubble gum! The fish seller listened and said to the candy seller, "Hey, why do you say that my fish is in the soup?"

The more noisy they became, the more fierce they became. At this moment, a bean sprout seller shouted again: "Bean sprouts!

A vigilante came up to him and asked, "Who else is arguing with them?" It just so happened that an avocado seller shouted

Avocals! (With me)" The vigilante said, "Well, take all four of you with you."

1 A foreigner came to China and gave himself a Chinese name, Wei Mao. He was looking for a job in China. He came to a company and a man asked him:

Wei what? "Why? Do I have to say why my surname is Wei?

2. Friends are on a business trip, and when they leave, they said that they would see you online at 3 o'clock in the afternoon.

I waited left and right, and finally waited for it.

Before I could speak, I saw a message from there: "It's really difficult to recruit a king!" ”

I didn't react for a moment: "What? ”

Friends laughed; "It's hard to find an Internet café! ”

3In a lively bazaar, a fish seller shouted, "Fresh fish! At this time, a bubble gum seller immediately shouted:

Bubble gum! The fish seller listened and said to the candy seller, "Hey, why do you say that my fish is in the soup?"

The more noisy they became, the more fierce they became. At this moment, a bean sprout seller shouted again: "Bean sprouts!

A vigilante came up to him and asked, "Who else is arguing with them?" It just so happened that an avocado seller shouted

Avocals! (With me)" The vigilante said, "Well, take all four of you with you."

4. A classmate once said to me very seriously: "You can't go around with your heart, eat and walk"!

5 I have a classmate who once made a mistake. The teacher called to ask. He said, "People always make mistakes, just like eating sesame seeds that can't get rid of baked cakes....

6. The bean skin of Wusan and Laotongcheng is delicious. When I went to eat, the cashier said, "Come to the bowl of "turf"!

I couldn't find the calculator of a JJ in the 7th office, so I grabbed my calculator and said, "Why are you here?"

I said out loud: I'm a calculator.

The people in the office all look at me, cold.

8 gloomy green, gloomy spring green, gloomy spring green. (I'm a donkey, I'm a stupid donkey, I'm a stupid donkey).

9 At a meeting in a township, the village chief said, "Rabbits, shrimps, don't want melons, pickles are too expensive." (Comrades, villagers, do not speak, now the meeting is open.)

The host said: "Pickles please sausage and pulp melon." (Now I give the floor to the village chief.)

10A foreign girl married to China, and at breakfast, she was instructed to say that she could not eat fritters: "You dip and eat." ”

She immediately stood up and was told again, "You dip and eat!" ”

She was confused and said aggrievedly: "Let me eat standing up, I've stood up, where else are I going to stand?"

11 One day, a rich man wanted to buy a car, but he was hesitating because the car dealership did not have an auspicious license plate number. The owner of the car dealership came over and said with a smile: "This license plate is good 00544 (move me to try), ensure that no one dares to mess with it, not bad"!

The rich man was moved, immediately bought this car, but the next day there was a car accident, the rich man got out of the car angrily, thinking that you dare to hit this car, but when you got out of the car, you immediately walked away, it turned out that the other party's license plate was 44944 (try it).

12When the dumplings were served, I asked him if he wanted mustard.

He summoned Miss again, please ask if there is any.

It is said that a county magistrate in Hunan with a strong accent came to the village to make a report:

Bunnies,

What animal has the least sense of direction.

Answer: Elk (mi.)

lu) what animals are the most astute.

Answer: Whale (jingyu).

Someone gave loquat to a county official, but he misspelled "loquat" as a pipa on the gift list. The county magistrate said with a smile: "'Loquat' is not this 'pipa', I only hate the poor literacy back then." One of the guests replied, "If the pipa can bear fruit, the flute pipes in the city will bloom." ”

Xiao Ming and Xiao Hong got into a fight because of Xiao Hong's swearing. Xiao Ming looked at Xiao Hong angrily and said I regard bad people, Xiao Hong laughed and said that you are a bad person.

It's nothing after a long reputation.,It's not that I won't fall in love with you, what does it matter.、Must be whether you want to do this to yourself.、You are my heart is here waiting for you!

Rabbits, shrimps, pig tails. Don't pickle melon, pickles are too expensive.

I won't, don't know, hahahahaha.

A certain student likes to write typos, and always writes the break as drinking.

He wrote in his diary: "The squad leader instructed us to carry the dung, and everyone worked so hard that no one dared to drink it." Later, we were really tired, so we secretly drank behind the back of the squad leader."

After the county magistrate finished speaking, the host said: Pickles, please sausage and pickles! Translation:

Don't speak, I'll tell you a story A county magistrate with a strong accent came to the village to make a report: "Rabbits, shrimps, pig tails!" Don't pickle melon, pickles are too expensive!

Translation: Comrades, villagers, pay attention! Don't speak, let's have a meeting!

The coach said: "The first class kills chickens, the second class steals eggs, and I will cook porridge for you." Translation:

The first squad shoots, the second squad throws bombs, and I'll show you how. ）

I was an elementary school student with this joke. I'll be able to smile.

The woman's original surname was Ni, and she had a big belly, married a lazy man to eat sauerkraut, and married a diligent man to eat meat and fish. Guess a tool (riddle: vegetable jar).

Uncle Xing took a drink and said:"……That land road:'The wall is not strong.

The gods will say:'You see. 'At first glance, the land is really a good wall, how can there be a wreck?

He touched his hand and said'I looked at the real wall, and I knew it was"False walls"！'"When they heard this, they burst out laughing.

Jia Qiang couldn't help but laugh and said:"Silly uncle! Hello!

I didn't scold you, why did you scold me? Hurry up and get a big drink! "(Cao Xueqin, "Dream of Red Mansions").

In addition, if there is a person who is dedicated to serving the society and knows less about politics, but he has made a missile out in two years, and he has made a great contribution to the country; The other person talks about politics every day, and he has not come up with missiles for five years. Which one do you vote for? I voted for the first one.

The second had to ask him to be a political instructor, he could not work in the missile department, he could only work in the missile department"Trick-or-treating"。(*** "Speech at the Symposium on Literary and Artistic Work and the Conference on the Creation of Feature Films").

Now they have to borrow rent for a year, so the people are all about it"Chongzhen"Read and do"Re-levy"。(Yao Xueyin, "Li Zicheng").

The above example is a riddle in which:"Ni"Homophony"Mud", because the ceramic vegetable jar is fired with clay as a blank; Example,"False walls"with"Jia Qiang"HomophonyExample,"Trick-or-treating"with"Missiles"HomophonyExample,"Re-levy"with"Chongzhen"Homophony

One day, I went to a restaurant with a foreign friend to eat dumplings.

Nice service lady came to ask. My friends always don't miss any opportunity to practice Chinese, rushing to say, how much does it cost to "sleep"?

The young lady was embarrassed and very angry, and I hurriedly explained that he was asking how much the dumplings were.

.When the dumplings were served, I asked him if he wanted mustard.

He recruited Miss again, is there a "show"?

The young lady said cheerfully, "Yes, what kind of show do you want?" ”

It's the yellow one.