Looking for a joke that can bring the dead to life? Mulberry buttons!

Once in a small test, I saw a roll under the table of a buddy in front of me, and I wanted to fix him, so I whispered to him: "Do you dare to follow me to make a move?" He agreed.

I stomped my foot and rubbed it on the ground. When he was done, I gloated and said, "Dude, you fell to the ground."

The buddy picked up the roll on the ground in a panic, looked at it, turned his head and said calmly: "Your roll." Looking at the devastated rolls, I'll go...

I still wonder when my roll will fall...

My aunt took a taxi to the restaurant for dinner, and the name of the restaurant was "Jian Pu Zhai", and my aunt remembered that it was the name of the country.

After getting in the car, the master asked where to go, and my aunt calmly said: "Afghanistan"...

The master was even more calm: "Yo, I also took a big job!" ”

Once the mother of a classmate in the dormitory called, I used to say "he is not there", but this time I want to say "he has gone out".The result was: "He's ......."gone".

I quarreled with my classmates and was anxious, so I took the case: "You think I grew up eating!?" "I've always wondered what he grew up eating.

One day, the boss of the company asked other colleagues questions in the office, and the first question was: Why do mice fly? Colleague answers

Because it's a bat. The boss said that it was wrong, because the rats had eaten the elixir. The second question is, why do snakes fly?

The colleague replied that it was because the snake had eaten the elixir. The boss said, it's wrong and stupid, because the snake eats the mouse. The third question is, why do eagles fly?

The colleague replied that because the eagle ate the snake, the boss laughed and said, "It's stupid, the eagle can fly!"

There is a couple, Dasha and Derpy, one day, Derpy wants Dasha to accompany her home at night, but Dasha says that if you meet bandits, the bandits only have three actions, vomit, turn their heads, and run away! Ha ha.

1. A hungry wolf forages for food, and I hear a woman training a child: If you cry again, you will be thrown out to feed the wolf! The child cried all night, and the wolf waited outside the door until dawn, and sighed

**, women are**! 2.One prisoner was executed, and because the bullet was of inferior quality, the first shot was not fired, and then the second shot was fired.

The third shot. At this time, the prisoner cried: Big brother, you strangle me, it's so scary!

3.After watching the black 100-meter race, an old lady wiped her tears and said: Scared to death!

A few coal diggers knelt in a row and were shot, and they shot without aiming, and the babies were so scared that they ran away, and the rope couldn't stop them! 4. Mr. Huang loved the revolution and named his son in honor of the Red Army''Army'', One day I sent my son to class, and when I saw bus No. 8 entering the station, I shouted at my son: Huang Jun run, No. 8 is coming!

5. A little bear went to the mountains to start a business, the farmer gave him a sickle, and the carpenter gave him a hammer, The little bear came to the mountains and met the tiger, and was so frightened that he held the sickle and hammer above his head, The tiger said: I don't see it, you are still a party member like a bear!

If you can laugh people to death, you can't laugh to death, and you may be able to kill people.

One day, the earthworm family was bored. The earthworm mother cut herself into four pieces to play mahjong, and the earthworm son cut herself into two pieces to play badminton. At this time, the mother earthworm shouted:

Kid dad, are you crazy? What are you doing here? I saw Daddy Earthworm cutting himself into mashed meat and playing football!

My mom is 52 years old, but she is very young, and she is dressed like she is in her 30s. Then he called her"Sister Zhen'er".One day, I was out shopping with Sister Zhen'er, and she put her arm around me (my male, 180 years tall, just shaved bald) and suddenly I felt a huge palm slap over the back of my left head, and I fell to the ground.

It was the street, and as soon as I remembered to fight, I heard a very familiar voice"Didn't you say you went shopping with your son? Who is the Uchino man! "The speaker was my father.

Then I stood up grievingly, patted the dirt on my body, and said"Dad, I'm really her son. "The people around were all petrified.

There is a hide-and-seek club at the university, but the president has not yet found it.

One day, Xiao Ming didn't bring his homework, and the teacher shouted, "Stand on the wall for me, or I'll slap you to death!" ”

1. The soldier asked the company commander: What should I do if I step on a mine during the battle? Lian Elder was annoyed: *, what can I do? If you step on it, you will be compensated according to the price.

2. I was very distressed when I received your message for a long time.

I thought about dying, I cut my veins with potato chips, hit my head with tofu, and jump over a building with a parachute.

Hanging noodles can be made of ink.

You're going to have a meal and I'm going to die.

3. If you feel cold and cold, please call me**! Please press 1 to talk about feelings, press 2 to talk about work, press 3 to talk about life, press 5 to introduce me to the object, please talk straight to dinner, and please hang up if you want me to borrow money.

4. The giraffe married the monkey, and a year later the giraffe filed for divorce: I don't want to live this kind of jumping up and down anymore! The monkey was furious: Leave or leave! Who has ever seen a kiss and have to climb a tree!

5. The fish said, "I keep my eyes open all the time because I am reluctant to leave by your side." The water said, "I have been flowing tirelessly all day long, in order to carry you up around you." The pot said, "It's almost ripe and you're still so stubborn." ”

6. Have you eaten? Please receive a text message. The elephant discharged its feces in the middle of the road, and an ant happened to pass by, and it looked up at the cloudy peak, and couldn't help singing: Yalasuo, this is the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau! ~~

7. You have grown up, and there are some things that you should know: the sky is used for wind and rain; The earth is used to grow flowers and grass; I'm here to prove how great humanity is; You're using it for stewed vermicelli.

8. Don't worry when you are in a large size next to the railway but you don't have a paper, the train will remind you: trouser wipe, trouser wipe, trouser wipe! Don't worry when you're on the river with a tuba but no paper, the frog will tell you: stick scrape, stick scrape, stick scrape!

9. Money can buy a house but can't buy a home, you can buy marriage but you can't buy love, you can buy clocks but you can't buy time, money is not everything, but the source of pain, give me your money and let me bear the pain alone!

10. God, it's too blue! The sea, too salty! Life is too difficult! Work, too annoying! And you, fate! Miss you, insomnia! See you, too far! Alas, what can I do with this? I can't eat chopsticks or swallow bowls!

11. Send you 12 zodiac signs, I wish you to be as smart as a mouse, strong as a cow, bold as a tiger, cute as a rabbit, confident as a dragon, charming as a snake, romantic as a horse, docile as a sheep, naughty as a monkey, beautiful as a chicken, loyal as a dog, and look like a pig!

12. The chimpanzee accidentally stepped on the gibbon's poop, and the gibbon gently and carefully helped them scrub it clean and they fell in love, and others asked how they came together? The chimpanzee said with emotion: Ape droppings! It's all ape dung!

13. The lion and the bear defecated next to the tree, and a month later, the lion found that the tree next to the poop was thicker than the bear's, so he said a philosophy full of vicissitudes - lion poop is better than bear poop!

My brother didn't like my mother's cooking, but he liked instant noodles. One day my mother didn't cook food, and my brother wanted to eat instant noodles again, so my mother scolded him"Mom didn't cook, you wouldn't go out to buy bento, right? Eating instant noodles is not nutritious! "

My brother said:"I just love to eat, whatever! "

Oh. Mom told you that instant noodles are really not a good thing, and there is a young lady in your father's company, in order to save all the money and send it home, so she eats instant noodles in the morning, instant noodles at noon, and instant noodles at night. Eating instant noodles every day, she died three months later! "

Shocked)"Really? "

How could mom lie to you? "

Really, how did she die? "

.Ah,..hGot into a car accident while buying instant noodles.