In the process of psychological counseling, feelings develop with a counselor of the opposite sex. W

Is it a positive empathy phenomenon that occurs in the counselor when a professional relationship is established, or is it a simple preference for the counselor? If it is a phenomenon of empathy, the first thing to do is to detect it in time and take corresponding measures. To delve into the deep psychological meaning of this phenomenon, it will be of great help to your work.

Secondly, guide the counselor to release and vent the transferred feelings in a purposeful manner in a timely manner. After the release of the relationship, it will be relatively convenient for you to deal with the next problems. Finally, make it clear to the client that this feeling is unrealistic and that he dispels the idea.

In addition, if you just like it, you can resolve the matter privately with the counselor. After all, this is not a work problem, but a personal problem that belongs to you, and it will have a bad impact on bringing it to work!

Is there a specific analysis of the specific problem, as long as the consultant also falls in love with the counselor, wishful thinking, what to say.

If this is not the case, pure unrequited love, especially if you or someone else has a family, then it is better to retreat.

There is such a possibility. This is "empathy" in counseling. When the patient has empathy, shows special feelings for the person, and regards him as God (the object of love, called positive transference) or the devil (the object of hatred, called negative transference), the person must be clearly aware of his own situation and status, which is a good phenomenon that will inevitably occur in the process.

** must be detached from themselves, be good at using this empathy, and make the patient realize the need to establish a good interpersonal relationship. When these pathological or childish emotions and interpersonal relationships exposed from unconscious processes become the content of conscious processes, this immature or "neurotic" psychological defense mechanism is weakened and the problem of empathy disappears. When the counsellor believes that he or she is not suitable for counseling a client, he or she should make a clear statement to the client and should refer him or her to another appropriate counsellor or physician in a responsible manner.

Feelings are shared by both parties, and if the other person has feelings for you, develop them.

It seems that your illness is still not getting better.

You should keep your mindset.

If the clients are like you.

Counselors are in trouble.

There is also the question of which consultant is a layman.

Cheating money. He doesn't even know basic self-preservation.

The biggest thing for a counselor is to make the other person sober.

And he led you into the water.

Don't forget that your relationship is a contractual one, built on money.

Because you pay, the counselor listens, empathizes, and actively pays attention to you.

So don't think that the counselor is good to you, you have to like him. He is like this to all of his paying visitors.

You have to be a bystander, or you won't be able to do counseling.

Why do I lose my self-confidence? Why do people think I'm really stupid when someone says I'm the stupidest person in the world? Why do I still think so often about running away and dying? And why am I always emotionally unstable?

If it is not handled well, it can be referred.

Psychological counselorThe most essential reason why you can't fall in love with the interviewer is because the relationship between the counselor and the client is unequal, which leads to the fact that the relationship between the counselor and the client is the exploitation of the client, both financially and emotionally.

If the counselor falls in love with the client, it is equivalent to taking up the client's time and accepting the client's money, which is objectively the client's money. Emotionally, because of the inequality mentioned in the first point, the counselor is more aware of the client's weaknesses, and the counselor is more likely to use the emotional strengths of these understandings to develop this unequal and deformed intimacy.

Falling into an intimate relationship may be caused by the client's own relationship pattern, which is a psychological problem of the client.

In the outward performance of life, the counselor's own role is to help the client identify and repair this problematic relationship pattern, and Yuan Song does not use this model, and the counselor and the interview show that the counselor is incompetent in the professional grand roll.

In the West, there are industry associations and laws that enforce psychological counseling, and if a counselor violates these ethical regulations, he or she may be removed from the profession or even punished by law.

At present, there is also a code of ethics for counselors in China that explains these requirements, but it is not yet mandatory, and it is hoped that there can be localized restraint methods to protect the rights and interests of visitors in the future.

Psychoanalysis: What you feel may be a strong and uncontrollable urge, and the counselor may be thinking more about "what kind of emotional need is this?" "Under normal circumstances, a counselor will rarely respond to your feelings with their own expectations and fantasies as they do in a relationship.

Mature love is a kind of dedication, in the process of love, the relationship is operated in a direction that is more comfortable for both parties, we usually think that love is a miracle, to wait for someone to bring something to themselves; In fact, love is a kind of ability, and only those who have the ability to love themselves and others can have true love. Think of this feeling as a new topic of counseling, and it's common for you to feel this way, even though everyone feels very different about what goes on behind it. But even so, understanding this feeling with you in counselling is a challenge for every counselor – and some may be reluctant to deal with it.

Then let's talk about the question of ethics: ethics is often not a problem, the important thing is whether you really want to be alone with this laughing stove? With each other, can you really get what you want?

They may be able to accept being with you in this situation, but who can guarantee that they won't find their next potential love partner ...... like thisThe crux of the matter is that when we can leave a person well, we can be with that person well. It is dangerous to be with a person simply because of a strong need, which is why ethics prohibit the counselor from falling in love with the client, and it is always the client who is hurt the most.

But it's not without crab eaters (though it's especially common when ethics aren't perfect): Jung was often accused of sexually exploiting his clients, but in fact, many of his clients' lovers were so grateful to him that they had to bury him with him when they died. However, only the parties themselves know the warmth and coldness.

Hello: It seems that I have really been doing counseling for a period of time to understand the meaning of [empathy] in counseling. Not being able to continue to experience the familiarity brought by [empathy feelings] with my counselor in ** naturally cut off a lot of warm connections.

Because I don't know the specific situation, I don't dare to casually judge whether the withdrawal of the ** division at this moment is beneficial to the ** relationship. But from your words, I feel the pain of being ignored and indifferent. Don't be sad first, we can analyze and analyze, and I would like to hear the details of your text later、、、

Analyze and understand the problem:

Well, it's true that it's a kind of client empathy for the counselor. From a psychoanalytic point of view, good transference and countertransference by the counselor can be therapeutic for the client. But based on the above description alone, I don't dare to [speculate])).

If you want to warm his feelings, you will also find that it is possible that the empathy continues to flow. Suddenly, I feel that your care is interrupted, and there are generally two situations: 3. The needs of **, according to the situation on the spot; 2. The heterosexual ** teacher is still incompetent in dealing with gender empathy, and does not have the ability to deal with problems in a soft and vertical way, so in order to avoid serious consequences, he adopts the extreme method of cutting off the emotional connection; That's why it hurts you.

Maybe he wants to distance himself from you, maybe he doesn't want to hurt you, maybe he has something to delay. If you still want to consult with him, you can ask him very boldly and directly, in my opinion, professional counselors must have the ability to respond and ask questions honestly when visiting. ）

Face the question: "How to deal with the relationship with the counselor?" ”

Counseling relationship is one of the most important factors in whether or not a consultation can be effective. If you trust your counselor so much, it proves that your counseling relationship is good. You won't be bothered by it, will you?

If you plan to continue to find him to do **, in the next consultation, [open and close Wang Chenggong] to tell him your questions. Listen to his response to you, and then feel in your heart if it's okay for you to accept it? If it is not acceptable, there are two scenarios:

1) Is the counselor's competence not meeting your needs? 2) Maybe he has a new adjustment to the consultation and has not had time to tell you;

Another very important content is that our counseling ethics have very strict rules: the counselor is not allowed to have any relationship with the client other than the counseling relationship, and the special case is to end the counseling relationship for more than 3 years (other relationships can be established). During this time you are his client, he is your counselor.

You can talk about everything, but you're only in a consultative relationship. (The ethical clause is a bit blunt, if it makes you uncomfortable, please understand).

Hello, I'm Uncle Jiao!

nice to answer your question!

If empathy is not controlled by unprecedented methods, the counselor will actively interrupt the consultation.

In the process of psychological counseling, if the counselor finds that there is an empathy problem, he or she needs to stop the counseling as soon as possible and refer him to the next suitable counselor.

This is a matter of ethics for counseling.

How to look at counseling.

Psychological counseling is to guide you (i.e., the help-seeker) to improve your emotional problems through your own efforts with the help of the counselor's psychological knowledge.

The subject here is the person you ask for. A counsellor cannot change the problem for you, but you can rely on the knowledge and methods he provides.

Why empathy is prone to occur during counseling.

Because counseling the spine brother itself is very "needed".

Such as sincerity, positive attention, self-exposure, listening, etc.

The purpose of these tactics is to expose the client to the greatest extent possible, so that the counselor can understand the nature of psychological problems!

The purpose is not to accompany or solve problems, but to find problems.

At the same time, these methods can easily cause dependence or empathy among the help-seekers, which is not conducive to the continuation of counseling.

Note here that dependence is not the same as dependence, the former relies on others, and the latter relies on oneself!

I am Uncle Jiao, may you reap happiness in this world!