Comment and revise the essay, urgent, help revise and comment on the essay in the third grade of pri

Sincere. Sincere care, warm and fragrant; Sincere praise, urging people to move up; Sincere communication to gain trust; Sincere cooperation to win success.

People get along with each other by the communication and comfort of the heart, a little more sincerity, a little less hypocrisy, I think our society will become more harmonious.

On crowded buses, it is not uncommon to hear conversations like, "Oh, I'm so sorry! I'm stepping on you!

It's okay, it's okay! "It's common to be stepped on, and sometimes it hurts, but it doesn't matter, because there is that pleasant "I'm sorry". Maybe this is a very light sentence, but the weight is heavy, you will feel the other party's sincere apology and sincere greetings from the heart, and the only remaining resentment in your heart will dissipate like a cloud of smoke.

Listen, "I'm sorry! And that's okay! This is like the confession of the soul, sweeping away the impure dust of the soul like dusting, making people crystal clear and flawless.

Some people say that sincerity between people is hard to find. In fact, the most common sincerity is in the days with friends. A look, a smile, or even a small note can make people extremely happy, because there is so much honesty and hope in it.

Sincerity is the spring breeze, and he has regained the dust of his soul; Sincerity is the rain and dew, nourishing the flowers of friendship. Always be sincere!

no！no！no！--No, you write in Chinese.

Bicycles are driving down the road like a disco--- what a scene, let's change it.

There are a lot of --- descriptions of goods.

1 The title of the article lacks novelty.

2. The development and change from the hometown to the motherland are excessive and unnatural.

3 There are too many modifiers, and the article is messy and messy.

4 The topic of the article is not clear enough.

Personal opinion, but I wish you every success in the competition

Essay 5 is good.

China's success in recent years can be cited.

The essay is very tight, the description of "me" expression, psychology and language is very vivid, and it also writes the wisdom of my mother to patiently induce "me".

Suggestion: 1. In the first paragraph, the mother's words only keep "not only ......do not escape", and the others are changed to narratives.

2. "This is since Mom's start of school," Replace it with "This is since the beginning of school, Mom".

This paragraph can be changed:

As soon as I got there, I was amazed, because I was struck by the sight there: sometimes like fairies scattering flowers, sometimes like flames, sometimes like butterflies, sometimes like buds. Red symbolizes festivity, blue symbolizes wisdom, green symbolizes vitality, yellow symbolizes warmth, and purple symbolizes romantic ......Colorful, intoxicating, and fascinating.

The atmosphere jumped from quiet to lively. Probably because I was also infected by this festive atmosphere, I couldn't help but buy two fireworks, asked my father for a lighter, and lit the fireworks in my hand, and at the same time, other fireworks were also lit, I was dazzled and dizzy. Still, I'm happy because it's the way it brings out the joy.

It can really be described as "the fire trees and silver flowers never sleep, and the fireworks fly to welcome the New Year".

First of all, I said that the title is a bit indescribable......Fireworks" is okay, don't use this title (one thing in the Spring Festival) ......

The first paragraph: It would be nice to write down your feelings of looking forward to the Spring Festival.

The second paragraph, the description of the scenery is not detailed enough, and it feels like it is completely imaginary, and writing about what the children are playing in the square can liven up the atmosphere.

In the third paragraph, when my brother said to you, did you also want to let it go quickly, and describe your mental activities.

In the fourth paragraph, I saw my father take out a lighter from his pocket and (say): "Come and set off fireworks this year!" Then he handed me the lighter.

When I heard that, I was so excited! Then he quickly crouched down and lit the fireworks. It might be better to change it to (to me) (I was so excited!)

happily took the lighter ......Please describe the ellipsis here in detail (since I haven't lit fireworks and don't go out very often, you can describe them yourself.

The fifth paragraph, first suddenly, suddenly, how can it be sudden, you should have time to feel the waiting, and then describe the anxious waiting, and then there should be "a few clusters" of colorful fireworks, because I don't believe that there are "a few" at the beginning, and then the blooms are different. Is that so? I'm thinking that a (the number is not accurate) fireworks can only be made up of one pattern, or if you put a big flock, if it's a big flock, you should write it out before.

The sixth paragraph, and the last paragraph, ends this ......Directly changed to: "Fireworks are fun and beautiful, I have to come out every year!" I thought sweetly.

And there's a sense of unreality when you read it, which may be the reason why you don't describe it in too much detail, but there are some problems that you should pay attention to.

I'm also in 3rd grade, 3 5 stars for 3rd graders, no modifications.

This prose is really quite scattered, and the characteristic of the prose is that the form is scattered but the spirit is not scattered. But this article doesn't see what the theme is and what it wants to express, that is, the point of view is not clear. The transition between each layer of meaning is unnatural and far-fetched.

In terms of paragraphs, there are two paragraphs that should have been one paragraph, but they were written in two paragraphs. In addition, the tone is incomprehensible, there are many language problems, and it is very awkward to read.

Pros: Focus on social hotspots – This is a hot topic in society right now.

You cite a lot of examples This is good, but you can add a little cohesion between the paragraphs, so that you can increase the coherence, and each paragraph plays its own role At the end, you can click on the intention of the above paragraphs, and together they lead to the last sentence, clarifying the center, This method can also modify the expression of the previous paragraphs, so that they revolve around the same theme

You can't go down on your knees, you can't give in to others. This is the biggest drawback.

Although there are examples, the article still seems a little weak. The end of each paragraph is well done, but it is a little abrupt, and it is best to have some finishing touches in the content, such as: Flipping through the classics, the book seems to exude a wisp of lilac fragrance, refreshing the heart, leading me into the fairyland in the book.

The style of this article is connotative, and there should be no lively words such as "100 points handsome", which seems out of place with the article and spoils the feeling of the whole article.

Overall, the article is very good, and the idea is also very good, that is, one or two examples are needed to make the article fuller and fuller, and some examples are moderately deleted and some finishing touches are added to sublimate the topic, which is a good article that can be scored high.

You have to write a little more about your mother** is good to you, you can't just write about your mother** capable.