Help me revise my essay, talk about 10 points, help revise my essay, there are extra points.

I grew up with the school.

The school is our wonderful home; School is an ocean of knowledge for us; The school is the cradle of training us to become the pillars of the motherland.

I feel very honored to be a student of the Experimental Primary School, and I have had a very happy life every day in the past five years. I got along with every classmate and got along with each other, and under the teacher's earnest teachings, I not only learned a lot of knowledge, but also realized a lot of principles of life. Under the care of teachers and classmates, and under the protection of the school, I changed from an ignorant and ignorant child to a quiet and learning child.

This kind of change, slowly growing, the school is with me, watching me.

Not only did the school watch me grow, but I grew with the school. In previous years, the school focused on our grades and rarely let us do the recreational activities we loved. Recently, however, in order to improve our overall quality, we have cultivated our sense of creativity and self-development.

The school has very intimately established Eagle TV, Sunshine Home School and Red Scarf Bilingual Radio Station, which have attracted many students. These colorful activities not only make everyone feel happy, but also allow everyone to exchange learning experiences in laughter. While enriching our extracurricular life, the school has not forgotten our hard-working gardener-teacher.

The activities of the teachers' union are also carried out in a variety of ways, so that teachers can have a happy and leisure time while educating us. With such a big change and rapid growth in the school, I am not only happy for the school, but also feel lucky to have grown up in such a lovely school.

School! After 20 years of wind and rain, you have finally reached glory today.

I love you, school! Let me grow with you in the sun!

Personally, I think that it is very similar to a primary school student's writing, adding a little bit of my own things and making a little bit of revision, and the teacher will not doubt it.

I grew up with the school.

The school is my other home, it is an ocean of knowledge, a treasure house of humanities, and a cradle for cultivating the pillars of the motherland.

From the moment I walked into the campus, I was very honored to be a student of the experimental elementary school, and for five whole years, I grew in wonder and desire. In the past five years, I have learned a lot of knowledge and comprehended many principles of life, and I have grown from an ignorant and immature child to a quiet student.

The big tree of the school has watched me grow, and I have witnessed the development of the school. In previous years, schools focused on improving student achievement and rarely carried out recreational activities. In recent years, in order to comprehensively improve the personal quality of students and cultivate students' creativity and independent development knowledge, our school has set up a very wonderful Eagle TV Station, Sunshine Home School and Red Scarf Bilingual Radio Station, which have attracted many students to participate.

The TV station's programs are not only for everyone's entertainment, but also a platform for communication and learning. The activities of the teachers' union and the program are colorful, so that the teachers have a happy and leisure group activity in addition to the due diligence education, and the school has undergone such a big change, which has been warmly supported by students and teachers.

After 20 years of baptism of wind and rain, the school has finally walked towards a glorious bright road.

I love you, my school! Let's grow into a towering tree together with the beautiful school.

This article is too hypocritical, how much do you believe in what you say in your heart? It's just a lie!

The school is our [[beautiful]] home; School is an ocean of learning knowledge; The school is the cradle of nurturing us, the future pillars of the motherland.

From the moment I walked into the campus, I was very honored to be a student of the experimental primary school, and for five years, I was happy every day, [[the school's rigorous study]], the unity and friendship between my classmates]], under the teacher's earnest teachings, I [[learned]] a lot of [[book]] knowledge, comprehended [[a lot]] [outside the books]] of the truth, from an ignorant and immature [[child]], transformed into ]] now quiet[[and]] Students who love to learn.

The school has watched me grow, and I have witnessed the growth of the school. In previous years, the school focused on student achievement and had few recreational activities. In recent years, in order to improve the quality of students in an all-round way, cultivate students' creativity and independent development knowledge, our school [[has]] set up a sound and colorful Eagle TV Station, Sunshine Home School and Red Scarf Bilingual Radio Station, which attracted many students, and the content of [[[program]] is not only for everyone's entertainment, but also a platform for everyone to exchange and learn.

There are also teachers' union activities, which are colorful and colorful, so that teachers can educate us with due diligence and have a good time for happy and leisure group activities. The school has changed so much, and we love the enthusiastic support from the students and teachers.

After 20 years of baptism of wind and rain, our school has finally walked towards a brilliant bright road.

I love you, school! Let's thrive with our beautiful school.

Mainly in [Inside.

I think it would be better to change it to books and books, and I wish the lovely children a Merry Christmas.

On the day of the milkman, the sky was dark and the storm was howling outside the house. I walked around the door of my house, thinking that the worker who delivered the milk had not yet come, and I couldn't help but feel a little angry. Because I have the habit of drinking milk every day, I always tell him not to come late, although it is a rainy day, it is normal to be late, but it is too late!

At this time, my mother ran out of the room and said to me, "He may not come today, go in, it's not good to catch a cold."

I thought it was right, but I wasn't reconciled, so I took my mother's mobile phone and dialed his mobile number. "Toot toot. I waited for a while, he didn't pick up my **, and waited a little longer, "Sorry, you called."

After the professional female voice sounded in the **, I hung up. I wondered if he was [..].I will continue according to the original text, and I will not fight)

As I was about to get home, the rain was faintly ...Later, [. .

I thought: Am I doing a little too much, he worked hard to deliver milk in the rainstorm, and he still obeyed my request to get the heat again, without a trace of dissatisfaction. I must learn from him in the future, he is kind and dedicated.

Ask for adoption! ~~

Competent milkman.

One stormy day, I was walking around the door of my house, and I was angry that the milk-delivering worker hadn't come yet. Because I always have a habit of drinking milk, I always tell him not to come late. You can be a little late on a rainy day, but it's too late, right?

Unforgivable! My mother ran out of the room, ran to me and said, "Today, he may not come back, go in, don't catch a cold."

I think so, but I'm not going to give up. After waiting for a while, I got impatient, so I picked up my mother's mobile phone and dialed his mobile phone number, "Tut-to-do-" and waited for a while. Why hasn't he come to pick up my ** yet?

After waiting a little longer, I hung up. Is he sick? No way!

He used to bring milk when it rained heavily, and he came a little later than usual. Is it because there is something at home that you haven't had time to inform us? No, he is a conscientious man, and he will come to deliver milk even if there is something at home.

Did he delay delivering milk to others? No, my dad wanted him to finish his tea before leaving, but he refused for a while and left. Put down the ** in your hand, very depressed.

Walking to the door, looking at the dripping rain, accompanied by gusts of breeze, there were many earthworms on the ground, and after a while, the wind blew away, so the earthworms shrank in fright. Leaves floated down from the sky and covered the earthworm's body.

I had to go home. At this moment, a shadow faintly appeared from the rain, riding a dilapidated bicycle, the milk shaky. When I looked, it turned out to be a worker who delivered milk.

I snatched the milk from his hand and touched it, it was cold and cold, and I felt cold in my hand. Then I willfully returned it to him, saying, "I want it hot."

At this time, he hurriedly rode his bicycle back, and when he ran back, it had been more than twenty minutes, and at this time he was covered with black hair on his head, and his clothes and pants were dripping with water. I snatched it and went home without saying a word of thanks.

Later, when I heard that the man was sick because of that incident, I felt very guilty. I thought: Am I too willful, he worked hard to bring milk, and I asked him to go back and get hot milk for me.

Give me a suggestion: Most of what you write is your mental activity, which does not match the topic of "milkman", so I suggest that you change it.

It was raining outside on the day of the milkman, and I was wandering in front of the house, and the milkman was delayed, and my mood became as bad as the weatherBecause I have the habit of drinking milk every day, I often tell him not to come late, even if it is a rainy day, you can't be so late and haven't delivered itAt this time, my mother came up to me and said to me

Today, he may not come, go in and don't catch a cold. ”

I thought so, but the more I thought about it, the more unhappy I became, so I took my mother's mobile phone and dialed his mobile phone number, and waited for a while. Why hasn't he come to pick up my **, and after waiting for a while, I hung up. Is he sick?

No way, if you're sick, you'll be able to say hello to us. He used to deliver it when it rained, and it was just a little later than usual. Is that something going on at home?

He didn't have time to inform us, no, he is a dutiful man, and he will come back to deliver even if there is something at home. Did he delay delivering milk to others? No, my dad used to want him to finish his tea before leaving, but he left!

Put down the ** in your hand, and I was depressed for a while. Walked to the door, looked at the dripping rain, accompanied by a gust of breeze, there were many earthworms on the ground, and a gust of wind knocked over the earthworms, and they curled up in fright. The leaves fell and covered its body.

I went home. Suddenly, a shadow faintly appeared from the rain, he was riding a dilapidated bicycle, the milk was shaky, the milk delivery came, I snatched it, touched it, it was cold and biting. I immediately returned it to him, saying:

I'm going to get hot. Suddenly he hurriedly turned back, and when he returned, more than twenty minutes had passed, and he saw that his hair was messy, and his clothes and pants were dripping with water. I snatched the milk and went home.

The next day, when I heard that the man was sick, I secretly wondered if I had asked him to change the hot milk for me that day, so that he could catch a cold. , I was very worried, am I too harsh, he braved the rain to send milk, and I also nitpicked and asked him to change the heat for me.

You will rain a little rain and a light rain, and the wind will knock over the earthworms, and I would like to know how strong the wind is.

That's pretty good!

This ending is a bit rushed, so let's change it!

On the day of the storm, I walked up and down in front of my house, and the milkman was slow to arrive, and I felt the urge to get angry at any moment.

Well, this is a narrative,,, the content is too monotonous

A lot of questions, how to fix this? First sentence Can a storm fall?

It's very well written, but there may be a little bit of a problem in some places, please take a look:

1.I have just stepped into the middle school gate, and I occasionally think back to my elementary school ,..It would be better if the change to "occasionally" was changed to "just", because I have just stepped into the middle school gate, and "occasionally" may be some time later.

2.Think of "reminding you of elementary school,..It would be better to change it to "remember the life of elementary school", because what do you think of in elementary school?

3."It's been with me for 6 years....Change it to the one that has been with me for 6....It would be better.

4.There may be some problems with the phrase "there is an indescribable relaxation in my heart", but I know what you mean. Changed to "I felt an indescribable feeling in my heart." The mood, in short, is very relaxed. A feeling of familiarity with everything here.

5."Every time I see them, I feel super happy,..Changed to.

I'll give you the following stuff.